1st Oct Discussion - Ajao Saray - Page 12

Minnie to Babes - Be yourself , live on ur own terms 🥳

Also Minnie - No Babes not like that 🤔

Originally posted by: inlieu

No, actually what she was trying to say was that Babita should not expect so much from them or judge them by different standards to her own parents. They should not be held accountable for not treating her like their real daughter because that's not how they think. We were talking about this mindset in society, kelog chaahe kitna bhi bolein, par bahu ko beti ya daamaad ko beta bohot kam log maante hein, which is fine. That's their prerogative. We only get hurt when we expect them to do treat us as apne, because it's not common for such people to be able to do so - they always put blood ties above others.

Minnie wanted Babita to put things into perspective and assess what exactly she was angry about when it came to Dadu Beeji. Her intention was right but her choice of words was not, especially considering she ranted at Babita the whole time and mixed her own frustrations were in. She crossed the line in some bits, especially with Lovely bua-related comments. I also wonder if just as Babita had blamed her for spending 17 years suffering in silence, Minnie is also going to blame Babita one day for spending all those years looking after her. Jeez.

I am not in favor of Minnie getting involved in all this or even wasting her energy on grown up stuff. She has to study and just be a kid for a change. Par chalo, her savior mode is on too.

Minnie said that she doesn't know whether what she said was right or wrong. She just said whatever was on her mind. This is why everything is a mixed bag. In some parts she's correct and in others horribly wrong. She too got caught up in all her anger, exhaustion and frustration and just let things out one after the other without completely thinking them through.

Her savior mode is actually doing a lot more damage than good. She just needs to back off and be firm with what it is that she wants. If she wants to be around her grandparents, then make that loud and clear to Babita. Don't hide it. It's this hiding factor that made things a lot worse.

Originally posted by: naq5

that is why HS mini dont share their thoughts with her. She never takes things in the right sense. she is mostly extreme dosent know the middle way out

This is a tricky situation itself because in a way they're coddling her like this. If they want her to learn how to approach things in a mature way, then they need to let her tackle certain issues or at least help guide her on how to do so in a rational manner.

It sucks that she needs to be taught this but like I said before she gets too caught up in her emotions and then starts acting impulsively.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Good point.

We were wanted her to act her age, chaalo, der se hi sahi, shuruat to hui.

HS is going to have his hands full dealing with her temper. It would be so weird if someones files and FIR against his own daughter in his own police station. I won't be surprised if Khatri tries to take revenge.

I know it will be a serious scene, but just imagine someone trying to badmouth his Veer Balika infront of HS-Lala. He will have to show so much restraint to not hurt that person just to prove a point to his chori. Especially if that someone is Khatri, he will stand infront of his daughter like a human shield (if he finds out she's in trouble, that is).

Though I feel after today he will keep an eye on her and her emotions (more so than usual). First she hears his and Irfan's talk, then bashes Khatri and upar se he finds out about her calling her mother selfish. Kuch toh chal raha hai uski chori ke mann mein jo HS ko pata lagana hoga.

Originally posted by: tk2015

Me too (for Ruksana and NB)! They can be MIL-DIL goals and actually show that not all in-laws treat you differently. But I guess that's not the route PB writers want to take. For people like me, they just made marriage an even scarier prospect. 😆

Therein lies the difference between them and our cute NB. She immediately taught Imran that it's wrong to speak ill of others. Also, Ruksana was so scandalised when Imran said it. 😆

For me too!

To say that in-laws aise hi hote and that DILs need to learn how to deal with all this unnecessary crap is ridiculous. Who would even want to get married when this is the kind of family that will be awaiting them?

I think there's a reason why Ruksana kept mentioning she looks up to Babita a lot and how she has so much she has to learn from her. Ruksana may not have the courage or bravery to stand up to Irfan when he gets out of line. It seems to me like he has a bit of a temper as well. Dunno where I'm going with this, but I definitely think there's something there.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

And to think it was her own son who made her feel this way. This is what broke her even more. That her own child was making her go through this at this age.

It's not a coincidence that she called HS her first son. She's constantly telling her that she's not her mother but she never refrains from giving him advice and the kind of love that a man like him will need. And despite not being her flesh and blood, he dotes on her. Blood and legality become semantics because she is his mother. There's no question about it.

Uff, I know right. Seriously Gur, if you remember me saying this yesterday, I knew this was going to happen and I knew I would feel bad for her. What he said was no surprise but it just made my blood boil. I wanted to do to him what Minnie did to Khatri. How DARE he????????????

Also, the way NB didn't mince words but said out loud exactly what Irfan was thinking made the whole thing even more sad to watch. The aaya comment made me wince but it was spot on. The whole flesh and blood thing was so much more prominent today where Minnie was fighting for her grandparents on one hand, and on the other Irfan was treating his mother like this.

And yes, NB is HS' mother, for all the reasons you have mentioned. He is her first (and only real) son. I am now convinced that a huge part of HS' good character comes from NB's influence and dare I say upbringing. I was hoping for a peaceful negotiation but after what Irfan did today, I want HS to have a go at him. Let the whole cliched scene play out:

HS: Irfan, Naeem Bi ke saath yo sab karne nahin karna chahiye tha. (though I'd prefer him to say Thaari himmat kaise hui Naeem Bi ke saath yo sab karne ki?)

IB: Hanuman bhai yeh humaare ghar ka mamla hai, baahar waalon ko beech mein bolne ki koi zaroorat nahin hai.

NB: Naaspeete, besharam, teri himmat kaise hui mere Hanuman se aisi baat karne ki?! Aaj tu ne khud saabit kar diya ke apna kaun hai aur paraya kaun.

I can't imagine how many elderly people get treated this way by their kids. 😡

Sorry for the rant. I am super pissed right now.

Originally posted by: zehreeli.kheer

Babita did not associate the earrings with Hanuman's apology though.. She happily wore the earrings before she remembered the terrible thing that Hanuman had said and decided that she deserves an apology before taking things forward..

She is wearing them now so that Khuranas can feel she considers them her apna

I must have put forth my statements incorrectly. What I meant to say was for me earrings are being associated heavily with apologies.

If she does consider her apna, then she too has to live up to that equation. She should feel free to call them out when they're being unjust to her or if they do something that she doesn't like. She doesn't need to be this mahaan Babita for them anymore.

I don't know how is it with y'all but I've seen this DIL barrier since a long time with my mother. And not that she's unhappy or something. You learn to live with it and eventually find happiness somewhere else. It's not that dramatically sad or something, just natural and a matter of fact for me.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Minnie said that she doesn't know whether what she said was right or wrong. She just said whatever was on her mind. This is why everything is a mixed bag. In some parts she's correct and in others horribly wrong. She too got caught up in all her anger, exhaustion and frustration and just let things out one after the other without completely thinking them through.

Her savior mode is actually doing a lot more damage than good. She just needs to back off and be firm with what it is that she wants. If she wants to be around her grandparents, then make that loud and clear to Babita. Don't hide it. It's this hiding factor that made things a lot worse.

Yes, I remember early on in the show, HS used to tell both mother and daughter not to hide things fro each other but Minnie's still doing it, so Babita doesn't know the whole context behind her outburst.

Originally posted by: inlieu

I hope so too dear. Shaadi huey 1 hafta bhi nahin hua aur ye log siyappe par siyappe dikha rahe hein.

Did you notice one extremely important line in Minnie's rant: that since she was a 4 or 5 year old she began to forget her own tears in order to wipe her mothers' tears. Minnie is finally articulating, albeit spontaneously, some of what's troubling her, the fact that she feels burdened. She has never done that before. The way she walked out of the haveli showed she was not just angry because of this fight with Babita, but that she was just fed up of having to be her mother. Well, Minnie has to learn to let go of Babita to an extent too. She can't invest so much energy in her while draining herself. It's unhealthy.

I am beginning wonder if there's anything deeper behind why Babita cares so much about what people will say, something that may have been embedded in her psyche from a young age. The face that the words of someone like Khatri, who she knows is a vile man, can get to her is unsettling.

yes i saw that too. is somewhere mini resenting her lost years. her lost relationships which she lost while standing up for babita. maybe with the going away of babita ie the marriage aspect she feels she gave babita everything while she is left with nothing.