Sept 11th: The guilt trap - Page 9

Originally posted by: deefy89

In my mind there is a difference between the bond they share and the codependency that they have. The bond relates to the fact that they’re self proclaimed best friends who defy all usual mother daughter relationships in the sense they can share anything with each other, without limitation. The codependency is the unhealthy way in which they’ve entwined their lives. It because of this bond and then being friends that I’d expect babita to be equally as perceptive on mini’s feelings, but she is not. I mean kind of how mickey is able to see behind her fake smile?? I just feel like through all of the coaching that babita needs, mini is often forgotten about. Even going thru the divorce bit, there was never a time where it was about mini’s feelings (it was both of their suffering I believe, but babitas suffering took precedence) and this eventually lead to depression.

I get babita being used to mini being strong, however the fact that she had depression and hid this also should prove that she is not. She is only 17 after all and going through her own identity crisis, simultaneously to babita. Seems they’re finally going to highlight this. I would think after the marriage and babita being more settled, a bit of focus can also be put on mini.

On a side note I’ve seen a lot of ppl say ashok could be returning, do u know if this is true?

No matter how much you treat your mom like a best friend peer, it’s not the same thing as an actual peer.

Babita is very close to her daughter but at the end of the day, this situation with the second wedding is uncharted ground for them. Mini placed so much emphasis on Babes ki happiness, and she obviously loves HS so much, it’s hard for Babita to fathom that Mini could be burdened with something right now.

Which is why at the first sign of trouble, Babita panicked and was willing to throw it all away for Mini’s sake. That was the panicked mother in her reacting.

Micky’s ability to perceive Mini’s state of mind is also indicative of the fact that you can’t be overdependent on one person to understand everything in your life. Different ppl give you different perspectives and help evolve all your relationships.

I know it sometimes appears as if Mini alone is the perceptive one between them but Babita has her own way of sensing and responding to things....she takes her time with it because she is more emotionally stunted than Mini.

As for Ashok, dunno...I guess ppl were just speculating....there is no confirmation about him coming back 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I’m not looking for immediate solutions in that this shouldn’t impact Mini at all....😕...I get that it has to be absorbed and worked through.

But PB is usually better than this about intermediate scenes. Yesterday it wasn’t. As I said, the Amrit manthan stuff is also ongoing but those convos were way better handled in epis from last week.

And agar Khatri pati hai, toh Ashok bhi pati tha. Babita should have also kept defending him at any cost? Why do we as women not lament this thinking more? Sabne stride mein le liya hai🤷‍♀️....ki jab tak pati na chhode, you keep defending his so called izzat?

Why are we expected to sympathize with a Kammo who talked so cheaply about a child who has been so nice to her simply cuz she stated the TRUTH of how ghatiya her pati is? Is Khatri not ghatiya? Did everyone not already know this? So why is Kammo expecting honor for him? You made the bed, you have to lie in it. She expects others to give him respect just cuz he’s her husband? No matter how he behaves?

He friggin MOLESTED Babita...but still she is expected to give him respect for Kammo’s sake? 😕

@ bold exactly . And i do not understand or sympathize with kammo. she does not get a free pass just because she is defending her husband. There are other ways of blindly supporting your husband than questioning a childs existence. Babita also defended ashok at a time but she did not pass vile comments or did what kammo did specially against a child. She could never have also, its not her nature to talk like this about someone.

kammo was all out to revenge against babita so she hurt who mattered to her most -MINI . I hope someone makes mini understand that it was not about her. All this was only said to spite babita & hurt her

her husband is a criminal ek to for molesting babita & there was no trial because babita decided not to.

And this was the reason i did not like kammo and her friend working with babita. i was actually worried they might sabotage babitas business. And they both have been always vile. its their nature

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

To a certain limit, here is the difference between Babita and Kammo. She chose to stand up for herself whereas Kammo is still confined in the boundaries.

I feel the actual difference is that Ashok left Babita, only then she chose to stand up for herself.

Disgusting Khatri still apnaaoes Kammo as his wife, so she is unwilling to forsake him. It’s ironic....he’s openly shown he lusts after other women, but he still keeps placating Kammo so she accepts him.

I wonder if Ashok had never gone the distance of foresaking Babita, would she have left him? Ofcourse she had a Mini to lead her out too. Babita was Kammo for a long time until her husband pushed her away....nahin toh Yeh bhi pati ki pooja karti rehti full life in exchange for the title of wife.

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold exactly . And i do not understand or sympathize with kammo. she does not get a free pass just because she is defending her husband. There are other ways of blindly supporting your husband than questioning a childs existence. Babita also defended ashok at a time but she did not pass vile comments or did what kammo did specially against a child. She could never have also, its not her nature to talk like this about someone.

kammo was all out to revenge against babita so she hurt who mattered to her most -MINI . I hope someone makes mini understand that it was not about her. All this was only said to spite babita & hurt her

her husband is a criminal ek to for molesting babita & there was no trial because babita decided not to.

And this was the reason i did not like kammo and her friend working with babita. i was actually worried they might sabotage babitas business. And they both have been always vile. its their nature

Exactly. Kab hogi Yeh discussion? Sigh

As for Kammo and Babita....yes, Babita never was vile in her defending of Ashok....she lashed out at HS but she never did something like what Kammo said yesterday.

Different shades of repression in different women 🤷‍♀️.....I guess social atmosphere matters....Kammo measures her worth by being rich Khatri ki wife....if his izzat is threatened, she reacts like her existence is threatened.

And yes, Khatri is a criminal being ALLOWED to attend this shaadi. Instead of having some regard for that, Yeh suna ke gayi Kammo ji 🙏

Originally posted by: AreYaar

I feel the actual difference is that Ashok left Babita, only then she chose to stand up for herself.

Disgusting Khatri still apnaaoes Kammo as his wife, so she is unwilling to forsake him. It’s ironic....he’s openly shown he lusts after other women, but he still keeps placating Kammo so she accepts him.

I wonder if Ashok had never gone the distance of foresaking Babita, would she have left him? Ofcourse she had a Mini to lead her out too. Babita was Kammo for a long time until her husband pushed her away....nahin toh Yeh bhi pati ki pooja karti rehti full life in exchange for the title of wife.

Yep, yeh toh sach hai. Bilkul sahi baat - that's what NB pointed out that day. Did Babita have the courage to move out, had Mini not been there, inspite of even Ashok pushing her away to some extent? This is something no one can guarantee. Toh Kammo ka Khatri ko chodna is impossible.

And then Khatri is not that vile too. He refused to give fake witness for both Babita and HS in court. And plus, Kammo has somewhat compromised on her life and accepted him. Jo bhi hai, jaisa bhi hai, yahi hai kind of approach. Ab jisne settlement hi kar liya ho, uska kuch nahi ho sakta.

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

Yep, yeh toh sach hai. Bilkul sahi baat - that's what NB pointed out that day. Did Babita have the courage to move out, had Mini not been there, inspite of even Ashok pushing her away to some extent? This is something no one can guarantee. Toh Kammo ka Khatri ko chodna is impossible.

And then Khatri is not that vile too. He refused to give fake witness for both Babita and HS in court. And plus, Kammo has somewhat compromised on her life and accepted him. Jo bhi hai, jaisa bhi hai, yahi hai kind of approach. Ab jisne settlement hi kar liya ho, uska kuch nahi ho sakta.

Yep, a woman who has chosen to accept all this cant be helped.

But I also don’t think it’s a fair expectation that Babita and Mini should have to give deference to Khatri simply cuz the wife has this thinking. If this is Kammo’s choice, then she has to find out how to manage “friendship” with people that her and her husband say cheap things about jab mood bane.

Doing ghatiya things and expecting others to not be rude with you makes no sense to me 🤷‍♀️

Originally posted by: Mishti_Dahi

I don't know. Unable to explain this any further but the fact is, I don't blame Kammo. I don't blame her for feeling the way she did, nor do I support what she said.

I'm with you on this.

The Trio despise Khatri but had an amicable relationship with Kammo. They could have simply not invited him and dealt with his anger separately. Surely, he would try to crash the functions whilst being drunk but at least they would have made the efforts to not associate themselves with him.

And Kammo most likely thought that Babita's "ghatiya log" was targeted at both Khatri and her. It would have surely hurt her a lot to hear that's what Babita truly thought about her. Moreover, Kammo has repeatedly said that she doesn't agree with Khatri nor support him when he goes wrong. She actively tries to reason with him but if he's not willing to listen or change, then what more can she do? Her familial situation is most likely not like Babita's. She may not be in the position to leave Khatri like Babita did with Ashok. And I don't mean financially, but rather familial and emotional support. She had once threatened Khatri that she'll go back to her maayka, taking everything she brought with her but for how long can she stay there? It's not like Khatri did anything to her. He's being vile towards Babita. Would Kammo actually leave her own husband because he was being mean to another woman? If she does, Khatri will just blame Babita for this; he's not going to see the err of his ways.

At the end of the day, Kammo knows what's best for her and her family.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

I'm with you on this.

The Trio despise Khatri but had an amicable relationship with Kammo. They could have simply not invited him and dealt with his anger separately. Surely, he would try to crash the functions whilst being drunk but at least they would have made the efforts to not associate themselves with him.

And Kammo most likely thought that Babita's "ghatiya log" was targeted at both Khatri and her.

Babita said who invited this ghatiya insaan. So she was only talking about Khatri. And not Kammo.

To me it looked like, Babita until yesterday never replied to Khatri's taunts. Whenever Khatri crossed the line, Mini & HS stopped him. Until Babita spoke, Kammo was fine hearing everyone else. The moment Babita did, she flipped. She never expected Babes to respond. It was a shock for her & then what she did was 😵 But I think it was just to make her catalyst in putting those doubts in Mini's mind.

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

Babita said who invited this ghatiya insaan. So she was only talking about Khatri. And not Kammo.

To me it looked like, Babita until yesterday never replied to Khatri's taunts. Whenever Khatri crossed the line, Mini & HS stopped him. Until Babita spoke, Kammo was fine hearing everyone else. The moment Babita did, she flipped. She never expected Babes to respond. It was a shock for her & then what she did was 😵 But I think it was just to make her catalyst in putting those doubts in Mini's mind.

Lol Babita bole, toh problem. Babita na bole toh bhi problem 🤷‍♀️😆

I guess she can’t win either way. People will always feel let down or shocked by her 😆

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Lol Babita bole, toh problem. Babita na bole toh bhi problem 🤷‍♀️😆

I guess she can’t win either way. People will always feel let down or shocked by her 😆

Babita bole toh... Dusro ko problem. To people like Lovely aur Kammo.

Babina na bole toh -- HS and Mini ko problem.

But yeah.. people have lot of expectation from her in general.