The episode was in large part a commentary on social conditioning of men and what society expected them to do in tough situations.
It began with Mickey expressing surprise at being hugged so strongly by the man who he looked up to and he had always sought approval from, but who had always kept him literally at arm's length.
Mard Ko Dard Hota Hai
There were many layers here. HS, had on some level finally accepted Mickey into his inner circle. He had acknowledged that Mickey had a good sense of humor, something that we know HS also has. You could also see that they were both sensitive men who could be sentimental at times without being ashamed of their emotions, and without taking anything away from their masculinity. Great great great message to society through positive male role models.
I just loved how HS controlled his emotions, and kept talking while trying to ensure that those tears sparkling in his eyes remained unshed.
Thoda woh main.
Correct hai, sir. Thoda... Itna attachment? Main senti ho gaya sir. Mickey did look moved and touched at this long-awaited acceptance from HS.
Main bhi na, thoda emotional ho gaya. Aur koi baat na hai.
Mujhe le kar? Waise correct hai, sir. Shaadi ke time mein sirf jananiyan thodi roti hain?
Mard ke bhi aanson nikalte hain. Aur ek mard ka dard na sir, sirf ek mard samajh sakta hai.
The social conditioning of men often restricts them from expressing their emotions, which is one of the reasons many women take their stoic nature for granted and walk all over them. Men like HS, Mickey, and Lala do not belong to that group, which is why they react and show their pain. It really was fantastic to see HS being able to contain the poison and prevent it from spreading around and hurting innocent people like Mickey. There is a lot that we see through HS and Minnie's interactions and their growth that Babita doesn't, such as when he hurt her to leave the house because of Minnie not wanting to live there with him, and many other such incidents. There is a whole other side to HS that Babita is yet to discover, and I hope she delights in that journey as much as Minnie and we have.
As HS tried to silence him, Mickey knew there was a line he could not cross, but ironically in many ways he understood HS in a way that even his daughter could not, just as he had spotted HS' attraction towards Babita before many others. Babita had Minnie, and I am hoping over time HS can come to count on Mickey too.
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Babita's Apology
As his phone rang, HS hesitantly answered it, knowing that his Veer Balika was surely up to something. She tried to talk to him in her usual sweet, daughterly way, but he was not in the mood for it. That moment had come where he would put his foot down and not listen to her. It didn't matter that Naeem Bi had explained things to Babita, HS knew this was only temporary. New issues would come up again, and Babita would repeat similar behavior.
Chhori dekh, ib na ye roj roj ki baatein hein. Baat baat pe rooth jaana, phir mana lena.
Aap chahoge ke bhai saamne waala aapke chahne se hanse ga, aapke chahne se royega to bhai aisa nahin hota.
This is not fair, chhori.
They had surrounded him in order to appease him and he was feeling suffocated. He was tired of Babita's power plays. He did not want to have to deal with these tantrums on a regular basis. As Minnie continued to insist that he look up, he turned away, not wanting to lose his temper with her but afraid he would not be able to remain patient much longer. He wanted to be left alone for a while.
When all else failed, Minnie used the last arrow in her quiver, knowing that it would hit its target. Her qasam, indeed hit the bullseye that was his heart, and he was forced to turn around, looking angrily at his worried daughter standing on the balcony.
It took one look at Babita's crestfallen expression when she emerged from behind Minnie for HS' resolve to waver. His expression softened slightly as he saw her but he did not have the heart to watch the teardrop that had escaped her eyes make its way down her dejected face. He turned away and continued to listen as his daughter handed the phone over to Babita.
I am sorry, she said, her voice shaking, stilling him into silence. He could feel the genuineness in her apology and the depth of emotion behind it without even looking at her, and he knew that if he turned around he would see exactly that on that her face.
Sorry, she said again, and the ache in her teary voice made it impossible for him to continue to look away. As he saw tears streaming down his face, he walked closer the balcony.
Ji aap kyon sorry bol rahe ho ji?
Aap aise hurt hote ho, aankhon mein paani le aate ho na to phir mhaare se dekha nahin jaata.
Aap ne maloom hai ke main kissi ladies ko aise rote nahin dekh sakta.
Aap ko to kataye bhi rote na dekh sakta ji.
This was a beautiful way for HS to show us as well as mother-daughter through his actions what he had meant by always putting his love over his ego. She had hurt and humiliated him repeatedly, and this time in front of others, but he couldn't see her hurting. He knew what it had cost her to accept her mistake, to apologize for her words, and to acknowledge her flaws openly.
He was strong enough to fight the entire world if he had to, but not enough to see mother-daughter in distress. He looked at Babita crying and his daughter standing next to her, worried about what was going on.
Duniya se ladh jaonga, mar jaonga, lekin... mother-daughter ko pareshaan na dekh sakta ji main.
HS stole my heart once again with the way he said these lines. What more did a woman want to hear, especially considering she had been the one to err?
Par maine to aap ko hurt kiya na?
He closed his eyes on hearing this, clearly still not over it.
As Minnie turned to leave, Babita held on to her hand. She needed her daughter's support while she had this very important but difficult conversation with her husband-to-be. She knew she had insulted him, humiliated him, yet he was still giving her a chance to speak, was still worried about her happiness.
Arrey koi bhed bakri thodi hoon, idhar se udhar aap bhagate rahoge manne. Jab marzi chaahe kuch bhi bol diya, kaise bhi kar diya, he had told her. She had told Minnie that he was afraid of losing her if he hurt her but now she had the same fear. I wonder how much of this apology was a results of her feeling scared of losing HS after he had said she could cancel the wedding and even the relationship if she wanted to.
Seeing Poonam and HS flirting had triggered the same insecurities in Babita as she had felt because of Meeta. To her, both these women were in the same league, smart, confident, worldly wise, so she felt that perhaps that was what men preferred. She was afraid she would lose HS to such a woman, the way she had lost Ashok to Meeta. A lot of this stemmed from her feeling of not being worthy of HS, but it had taken Naeem Bi to temporarily put some sense into her that Ashok's affair had been his fault, not Babita's. I am not sure if she is permanently over this insecurity as I expect her jealousy to resurface in future. I also agree with Padma that HS has become even more desirable to her because of her jealousy over his flirting with Poonam - she can see just how eligible he is, but that he was hers to keep.
Babita admitted to him that she had been jealous, that HS had fallen for Poonam, surprising both Minnie and her father.
Did she not trust him?
Yes, she did.
HS took a seat, almost as if to stop himself from running back upstairs. They needed some physical distance while having this conversation so that the proximity didn't cloud their judgment.
Then? Did she not trust her friend?
Yes, she did, why wouldn't she?
HS knew exactly what was going on in her mind and why she had behaved so, but he kept probing because he knew it was important that she let it all out in front of him, but most importantly, in front of herself.
To phir? he asked, looking up at her again. Babita squeezed Minnie's hand harder, because the response was something she was ashamed to voice, but knew it had to come out.
Shaayad khud pe hi bharosa nahin hai mujhe. Darti hoon apni kismat se.
To iska matlab to manne bhi mhaari kismat se darna chahiye, bhai.
It also meant that as part of this combined kismat, Babita got Imarti and her influence on HS, which I expect is a theme that will be brought up at some point.
I felt as if he was correlating her words with the fact that considering what had happened in his own life, he should be afraid of was coming next, but he did not want to go down that route, instead, he chose to show her that what he meant was that he was with her in whatever emotion she felt about her future, because it was their future together now.
Kyon?
Ib to aap ki aur mhaari kismat, dono judh si gayi hai na ji? Ek hi to hai.
This... this is the point about relationships that Babita had yet to understand and explore. She had lived a separate life from her Ashok while they had been married. Apart from Minnie, they had shared nothing in common. It had always been his life and her life, never their life together. She had not experienced that togetherness, that knowledge and assurance that no matter what happened, your life partner would be there by your side, to help you face challenges together, to give you strength when you needed it most, and to hold your hand when everything around seemed dark.
Babita felt relieved on hearing his words. She finally began to dare to believe that he meant every word he said. How would she face her friend now? She was her friend, she would understand, it was not such a big deal, he explained. That is what true dil ke rishte were about, having fights did not mean relationships would be over in the blink of an eye. They should be able to withstand such incidents. Poonam was not a child, she would understand her friend.
Aur aap? Aap samjhe?
He knew exactly what she wanted to know. Did he understand her point of view, her insecurities, her dilemma, the source of her worries, her constant battle with her emotions? Of course, he did. He knew her inside out, we had seen it, Minnie had seen it, heck everyone else around had seen it, she just needed to open her eyes to the truth that had been right under her nose all along.
First things first, though. He wanted the waterworks to stop.
Dekho ji, ek to na main ab aap ki aankhon mein na aansoon na dekh sakta.
Main ne bachpan se mhaari maa ko sisakte huey dekha hai iss haveli mein, ladies ko aise rote huey na dekhunga main.
Babita had no clue of the import of his words, but we as the audience did. Under no circumstances did he want to see his wife shed tears in the same haveli that was haunted by the cries of his suffering mother. He would not become his father, he would not let Babita endure torment the way his mother had. As a child, he had not been able to protect his mother or himself from the negative impacts of his father's abusiveness. It had been beyond his control. As an adult though, he did have control over the situation and he would not let his wife and daughter endure the same punishment his father had meted out day after day during his childhood.
Aap ne bataya nahin, samjhe, ya nahin.
She was not going to relent, and perhaps she needed to hear him say that he did understand and to what extent.
Samajh gaya ji, aap ke darr ko bhi aur ghusse ko bhi.
Jo uss din aap ne maafi mangwayi thi na mujhse, dono ko samajh gaya main.
Babita was impressed to hear this as well what he said next. He had understood that she had not been angry with him, rather she had taken out all her resentment and frustration against those who had mistreated her and hurt her in the past: Ashok, Pinku, Khatri, Rano, etc. Everything that she had bottled up inside all these days had exploded and she had unleashed it all on him.
He understood all that, and complimented her on her bravery in expressing her feelings, and letting go of her fears and her anger in front of him, exposing her weaknesses in front of him, no matter the repercussions. She knew then, that he had seen through her, had seen her for what she was, and rather than run away, he had stood firm, waiting with open arms for her to come to him when she was ready.
Aur? Aur kya samjhe aap?
Manne pata hai, ye sab aap ne jaan boojh ke kiya.
Aap bata dena chaahti thi ki, re Hanuman Singh, dekh le bhai jaisa tu sochta hai na, main waisi na hoon, seedhi saadi simple, re bhai thodi si complicated si hoon.
Paheli hoon, jisse tujhe samajhna padega aur usko solve karna padega. Tedhi kheer hoon main bhi.
He said this with a teasing tone, but the message was loud and clear for her. He wasn't going to back down from this challenge. He would do whatever it took too keep her in his life, if she so wanted. No challenge she threw his way would scare him off.
To kya socha aap ne?
Sochna ke hai? Solve karenge, he assured her with conviction. Aap aur hum milke.
Kabhi main thoda sa bhatkoon, to aap guide kar dena ji. Help kar dena. Solve ho jayega.
In saying so he was reminding her that he was not perfect, that he too, would make mistakes or struggle with challenges, that he was putting his faith in her, and that he trusted her to help him get back on track if it was ever required.
Hai ke na?
As she nodded in silence, HS looked relieved that he had managed to bring a smile on her face. Minnie had a smile of admiration on her face too. She had known her father would understand, that her hero would save the day yet again, that he would always be there to save the day, and finally Babita understood that too.
Just as she had let go her fears because of HS, she let go of Minnie's hand, so that it could now be free to grasp HS' outstretched one. She did not need to hold Minnie back anymore, because she could hold HS' hand and walk alongside him. I think it also hinted that they, especially Babita, would gradually rely less and less on communicating with each other through Minnie as they turned more towards each other and bridged the gap between them.
Minnie noticed the shift in her mother's demeanor and let out a sigh of relief as she understood that finally she had emotionally handed her mother over to HS, that he would be there to take care of her going forward, and that her mother would let him. It was, to me, Babita's kanyadaan moment.
Is ka matlab, aap ne mujhe maaf kiya?
This reminded me of the time when Minnie had asked him for forgiveness too.
Arrey to bolunga to phir manogi? Didn't she know that he had already forgiven her without being asked.
Keh denge to sukoon milega.
Accha? Phir aansoon to na bahaogi? Muskura dogi? Hmm?
Haan.
Here was the difference between them both. HS did not feel the need for words to communicate his feelings or understand those of others. Babita understood but still relied on words to an extent, for the sake of her mental peace. This was again another lesson for him, that not everyone reacted to situations the same way. He would have to adapt his communication style, as would she. These two were very open and direct with each other when it came to talking about problems but when it came to their feelings for each other, they got tongue-tied. We saw that HS had been shy and awkward when Babita asked him if he liked her, that too in front of people, but when it came to dealing with a 'crisis' of this sort, they threw all their inhibitions aside and addressed the problem head-on.
He picked up the spoon and tapped it twice on the jar, turning round to see a big smile on her face. Here, in that very public place, they had still manged to establish a channel of communication that was entirely their own, using a language that the two of them best understood, with connotations that only the two of them were aware of. The size of the ladle spoon and the jar, to me, represented not just his answering the affirmative but the amplitude of the sound added weight to his response.
HS closed his eyes and reassured his Veer Balika not to worry, that he had fixed everything and that she need not stress about her mother anymore. Her hero had indeed saved the day. He indicated to his to-be wife to put her mind at ease and go and enjoy the festivities.
Naeem Bi beamed as she knew her son had taken care of it all. Neither Babita nor HS would need to explain to the others what had been discussed, it was their private moment despite being in a public place. All that mattered was that they had understood each other and that they were on the same page again. As Naeem Bi looked down at her son, he shyly looked away, knowing that nothing could be hidden from her, but also that she had been worried for him.
Aye, mardoode, sab kuch theek kar diya na? Ya phir aaon teri khabar lene?
Arey kya Naeem Bi?
Aap bhi bas aise hi chinta karti ho mhaari, he said, putting on his sunglasses, his swag and confidence back with a bang.
Hein? he said, resting one foot on the bench and beaming with happiness.
All is phine! Sorted! he said, looking every bit the mohalle ka hero. As he hugged Lala, he also pulled Mickey into an embrace. The kid was part of his inner circle now.
I love how he turned back to look at his mother and his daughter, and winked with a thumbs up to reassure them that he was fine, that everything was alright now. Minnie's hero was back to his usual cheerful mood, looking forward to the wedding celebrations.
How can you not fall in love with HS? During their conversation there had been a physical distance between them but he would not let that turn into an emotional distance. I was floored by the way he handled the entire situation, the way he gave her a chance to speak her mind but also gave her a nudge when she faltered, the way his gentle voice and soft smile encouraged her to shed all her inhibitions and have faith in him, in herself, and the prospect of a loving relationship that may not always be rosy perfect, but one where there would be togetherness and a promise of undying love and respect from his side.
The balcony scene closed the loop with episode 194, where HS had spoken about choosing his love over his ego, his fear that she would choose her ego over her love, and his acknowledgement of the fragility of their relationship. He had said that he would have to be the one to do the heavy lifting to maintain the balance in the relationship as he was the mature one, and he had given proof of that today. He had been the one to drink the poison she had spewed today, and had found a way to contain it within him to prevent widespread destruction and ruin of everyone's happiness. He also indicated that he was on board with demystifying her, going into this with his eyes open. He realized that he will have to deal with this lifelong and that today was just a temporary truce.
In that episode too, he had started to communicate his approval of materials using the spoon, and today he continued the trend by answer her question the same way. Then, he had reluctantly gone upstairs to see Babita at the insistence of his daughter, for her happiness, and today had turned to see Babita for his daughter's happiness once again. He would not let his hurt supersede any of Minnie's pleas. She really had him wrapped around her little finger, daddy's girl!
This scene also highlighted that in the case of Babita there is perhaps some wisdom in marrying so soon, so that she doesn't let her insecurities close the door to her happiness by letting too much time pass.
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The Fourth Dimension - Imarti
As Minnie looked at Imaan's wedding photo, she voiced her hope that her mother too would have a loving relationship with HS and live happily ever after. She had considered that HS and Imarti's love story had been nothing short of a fairy tale. I absolutely loved this scene where, HS' mother Naeem Bi, who was her grandmother in every sense now, shared some of her wisdom about the source of happiness.
Khushiyan khud ba khud aake jholi mein nahin gir jaati.
Unhein dhoondna padta hai. Chunna padta hai.
Hanuman aur Babita ko bhi mehnat karni padegi.
Zindagi har din imtihaan leti hai, aur un dono ko uss imtehaan mein khara utarna padega.
Naeem Bi explained that life without challenges would be boring. Imarti and Maan had to face their challenges too. Imarti had shown the patience and wisdom to guide her Maan, to turn him into the wonderful person he was today. We can infer that he would need to do the same with Babita too. I have a feeling this is why he is willing to take on the challenge with Babita, because Imarti had shown that patience and willingness to make it work, to give him time to develop. In a way, her essence has gradually been passing on to Minnie through HS, as he has tried to guide her to become a better person. HS was always meant to be their guide, to help them and to be a male role model for gender equality. He wasn't meant to be a saint and this has not changed over the months.
It was so beautiful to see that the very love that she had feared had gradually become an inspirational concept to Minnie. She was experiencing it in all forms around her. Imarti and HS' love story was Minnie's benchmark, so if HS and she had gone through that journey and come out stronger as a couple then HS and her mother would too. She need not worry about them fighting or facing challenges.
As we have said in other threads, it is wonderful to see how Minnie has been growing into a stable, respectful, and generous adult under the guidance of her new family, HS, NB, Lala, and on some level even Imarti. She is learning about the ways in the world and benefiting from their wisdom. Often we focus on Babita getting/deserving a second chance in life, but Minnie too deserves one, especially in these prime years of her life. I think HS, NB, and Lala are the perfect role models for her and it is no wonder that she is lapping up all the love and generosity they show, not to mention the guidance and selfless emotions she experiences in their company.
She used to hate the concept of love but they have shown her what love and respect means in various forms, sirf pyaar karna hi nahin, pyaar nibhana bhi. Learning about Imarti just cemented that. The security and peace that she feels to an extent is because she knows this new family of hers will be there for her no matter how good or bad things are, and that she can also count on them to be honest and sincere, giving her the right teachings. She has learned that strength does not mean show of power or violence, but that understanding human emotions and taking the right decisions at the right time can often achieve far more than one can imagine.
It's not that they have had to sit her down and give her daily lessons on philosophies of life, but just the fact that these people have actually taken the time to think about her and to spend time with her has enabled Minnie to learn so much from observation. She has seen that HS and NB are not perfect, and they do not strive to be either. What is perfect, however, is their non-stop attempts to always try and face challenges with courage and open-mindedness and to remain true to who they are. Minnie was right when she said that she had never previously met someone like HS, and now NB too, who could have influenced her positively before.
I feel as if the timing is good because HS and Babita might be a bit busier with one another once they get married and Minnie might get a bit less attention, so it's good if NB is around her. She got a positive male role model in the form of HS, now she needs a positive female role model too who teaches her how to view the world with an open mind and heart and live without fear. It's like she's totally becoming part of her father's side of the family and ironic that none of them are related by blood, yet it all seems so natural.
Previously, Minnie had been curious about Meeta and had looked up to her in a way, but she had left before Minnie could get to know her better. Now, there was Imarti, who Minnie looked up to even if she had never met her. Imarti was the woman who had conquered her father's heart and soul, had made him the man he was today. Her essence was blended in HS' and through her father, Minnie could experience her, could feel her influence as the fourth dimension.
In her naivety, she wished that Imarti were there to share their happiness, to which Naeem Bi reminded her that this wedding would never have taken place if Imarti had still been around. I loved seeing Roshni/Imarti in the dance sequence as part of Minnie's imagination. It is awe-inspiring that Minnie had imagined her personality, her spunk to the T based merely on descriptions of her from HS. We have seen Imarti in flashbacks to be able to tell but Minnie never had, yet she had made quite an impression on Minnie's young mind. Perhaps Minnie and Imarti have always had common traits, but the way Minnie has grown since coming to live with HS has been influenced indirectly and now directly by his late wife. It will come as no surprise to me to know that Minnie looks up to her as a role model and maybe even wants to be like her.
I just had the feels watching this as you could tell to what extent Minnie is connected to HS as his daughter, that she admires Imarti so much as an extension of the great love and admiration HS himself has for his late wife. Because of HS' emotions for Imarti and the love and warmth Minnie feels for her father, she now loves and admires the essence of Imarti too, which she has somewhat inherited as part of her father's family legacy. Don't know if I'm making sense, but simply put, I will quote a dialogue I had once heard in a show many years ago: Imarti apne Maan ki thi, uski saanson mein basi hai. Aur woh Maan, ab Minnie ka maan hai.
What left a bad taste in my mouth upon watching this sequence was the reminder that Minnie's mother, Babita, had been her 'best friend' but she had not had the experience nor outlook to guide her daughter about the ways of the world. Neither had Minnie seen a good female role model in the form of Beeji or Lovely. She had always felt a void in that regard, a void that she only dared to admit to her diary, that too fleetingly. Babita never knew what kind of woman Imarti was, but will have to learn the way Minnie did. There will be some hurdles to go through before that and it might be difficult for Babita to accept that because of this void Minnie looks up to Imarti and not her own mother.
Towards the end of the episode, Minnie imagined Imarti kissing her forehead as though to bless her. They were kindred spirits, it seemed. I think she felt that this made her closer to her father's side of the family. In that scene, it almost looked as if Imarti was passing the baton on to a worthy successor, her Maan's beloved daughter who was exactly what Imarti's daughter would have been like, as her Nanu had mentioned.
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Pre-cap
I was extremely impressed by the pre-cap and I really do hope it leads to what I suspect it will. Minnie has always been on Babita's team by default all these years. Now she will have to give equal time and attention to her father too. HS now has the right to expect his daughter by his side, and Babita and Minnie will have to learn to share each other's time and affection with HS. Minnie looks bewildered when HS expresses his disappointment at being deserted by his daughter, as if the thought had not occurred to her before.
Between the two of them, Minnie is still more on her mother's side. She needs to get to the point of equilibrium but it will take time. Sure, she loves her father. I do not know if she loves him as much as she loves her mother though (not sure if you can quantify that at this stage) but I do not think she has given much thought to showing him equal support, love etc, or even going over to his team completely (and not just when he is suffering).
Very interesting that the CVs have brought this up and I applaud them for picking up on these important but subtle change in dynamics. Really looking forward to this silent tug of war between parents over Minnie, and to the day when HS can openly exert his rights over his daughter. I don't quite think he is there yet but I am really looking forward to those tracks. I still remember the bachcha chor track and it cracks me up to this day!
PS, this was my humble attempt at decoding the complex themes in this episode, which I absolutely loved. I hope I didn't miss the mark and leave y'all disappointed.
Hindi TV Shows
Veer Hanuman
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