
Chapter 10
"Kya matlab?" Zara looked astonished and looked at her father and mother.
"Humne socha hai ke hum tumhare aur Kabeer ke rishta tay kardenge" Salma responded with a smile, she approached Zara cupping her cheeks. "You've grown so quickly, I don’t want to let you go" she whispered brushing away her tears.
Zara frowned, confused. "Amma… woh… main…" she mumbled, she was completely taken aback when her parents informed they are fixing her marriage with Kabeer.
Kabeer. Her cousin. Her best friend.
"I'm not ready" Zara shook her head, so many things were going through her head right now. She had so many questions.
Salma and Irfan chuckled.
"Everyone says that" Irfan stood chuckling and placed his arm around his daughter's shoulder. "Every girl is reluctant and never ready for such a big step in life, but Zara there is someone out there to take a new step with you" he turned her to face him completely, his hands gently holding her upper arms. "And for you, it's Kabeer" he patted her cheek grinning widely. "Peer Sahib has also agreed that your and Kabeer's marriage for our community is very good. He has suggested next week for your Nikah".
"A week? Abba, that is too soon" Zara shook her head. "You've only just let me know, and I… I am not ready" her lips trembled.
"Zara, whatever me and your amma decide it's for your future. There wouldn’t be anyone better than Kabeer" he smiled cradling her cheeks. "Trust your abba and amma on this".
She swallowed thickly, her parents wouldn’t listen to her. There's only one person whom she could speak to and that is Kabeer himself.
Zara sat upright gasping, her chest heaved as she thought of the past. Her fingers hastily brushed through her hair, her lips trembled and tears misted her eyes. Something felt out of place, something was wrong. She just felt it, goosebumps covered her arms.
She glanced at the clock, it was only 3am. She was thankful she didn’t have a shift tomorrow at the hospital, she climbed out of the bed slipping into her sandals and walked out of the bedroom with her phone in hand. The entire house was silent surrounded by darkness, she paused outside her mother's bedroom. A part of her wanted to step inside, she wanted to curl up in her mother's arms and relieve herself of the pain that wrapped itself around her heart and burdened her. However, she couldn’t.
She headed up the stairs and out onto the terrace, some fresh air right now would do her some good. She halted when she noticed Kabeer resting on one of the chairs, his legs stretched out and resting on the table and his eyes closed.
Zara pondered over their relationship over the years, for a second she saw the young best friend who had been a part of her until…
She stiffened when suddenly her phone rang in her hand, her eyes darted to Kabeer who jerked awake at the same time as well. He frowned and looked disorientated.
Zara hastily and accidentally pressed the answer button whereas she wanted to press the cancel button to stop the loud ringing sound.
"Zozo" Najia's voice dragged her attention to the phone and she noticed it was Najia facetiming her. "Zozo" Najia cried out.
"Aapi…" Zara focused ignoring Kabeer's presence. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" she panicked, her heart dropping every second.
"Z… Fiddy… F…" Najia cried out louder, her cries almost deafening.
Zara's face paled, Kabeer looked concerned. He hadn’t seen Zara in this state ever.
"Aapi… what is wrong? Tell me" Zara clutched the phone tighter. "Aapi" she shouted over the cries of Najia wanting more information, her heart was racing and breaking each second.
Kabeer glanced over noting his mother approaching the terrace hearing the screams, it wasn’t long until his father followed out.
"Kabeer, what's going on?" Ayesha questioned softly seeing Zara screaming at the phone for more information on someone called Fiddy and the woman just crying on the other end.
"Pata nahi, ammi" he murmured in response.
"Stop crying, aapi!" Zara shouted firmly, "Stop crying and tell me what happened! Tell me right now, what happened to Fiddy?"
"Z… Zara… I'm… I'm so sorry"
"Please, you're scaring me" Zara pleaded, tears slipped down her cheeks.
"I… We… We were… we were in an accident and… Z… Zara… she's in… the ICU"
Zara dropped the phone, the screen cracked and the cries of the other woman died. Kabeer rushed over when he noticed her knees buckle and she almost fell down.
"Zara" he called out patting her cheek wrapping an arm around her waist holding her upright. "Zara" he patted her cheek.
She snapped out of her daze, she looked down at her cracked screen then realised Kabeer holding her. She pushed him back and grabbed her phone hurriedly tapping her phone furiously.
"Iqbal, what is Najia aapi saying?"
…
"How? How did this happen?" she cried out swiping her cheeks.
…
"I'm going to make the next flight out of here" Zara stated determination.
…
"Iqbal" she called out his name, "If something happens to her, then I'm not going to forgive anyone of you" she stated cutting the call, tears continued to cascade down her cheeks. She covered her mouth trying to rein in the sobs but she couldn’t. Her shoulders shook as she thought of what was happening back at home.
"Zara" Ayesha touched her shoulder unable to hold back. "Beta, kya hua?"
Zara stiffened, she suddenly recalled Kabeer on the terrace and she hadn’t even realised his parents were here as well. She turned around and looked between them, she brushed away Ayesha's hand.
"Nothing" she snapped and hurried down the stairs to start packing quickly. She was already on another call booking a ticket for the next flight out, which was tomorrow evening. Following that, it would be another 12 hours before she even lands in London.
Kabeer watched from outside the bedroom, he noticed her panicking and shoving her clothes into the suitcase quickly, her hands were shaking and tears continued to slip down her cheeks. He wanted to step inside, he wanted to wrap his arms around her, comfort her with soothing words but he couldn’t even do that. She wasn’t going to be willing to speak to him nor any of his family, maybe she'd speak to Salma, he thought.
Zara dropped the clothes from her hand and made another call.
"Iqbal, give me something" she demanded.
"Zozo, she's in a bad shape right now" he sighed heavily. "We're all at the hospital" he explained.
"I don’t care, I should be there. Not you or anyone else" she slumped onto the bed. "She's my daughter, I should be there for her. I've done exactly what I promised I never would do. I'm not beside her when she needs me" Zara cried. She had vowed when she cradled her daughter in her arms, that she would never feel a feeling of abandonment or loneliness.
"Daughter?" Salma echoed.
Zara lifted her head and glanced over her shoulder, Salma stood by the door with a stunned Kabeer behind her.
Zara swiped her wet cheeks and mumbled that she'd talk to Iqbal in a bit and cut the call, she stood and looked between Salma and Kabeer.
"Zara…" Salma stepped inside. "Wh… what did you just say?" she questioned approaching Zara. When Zara didn’t offer an answer, she held her arms prompting her once again. "What do you mean by daughter?"
Zara looked down at the henna decorated hands, she hadn’t had a chance to speak to Kabeer. Her parents had told her she couldn’t see him until their nikah now. They joked she had her whole life ahead of her to speak to Kabeer.
She tried calling his mobile, but someone always happened to snatch the phone telling her she shouldn’t be speaking to Kabeer until their nikah.
She attempted telling her parents she wasn’t ready but as they did, they dismissed it. Her heart raced as she was led to the stage where Kabeer was waiting. This was happening for real. She looked around, the place was filled with their family and friends. She looked over at her own friends, nobody had any clue the turmoil she was going through.
The responsibility of being married burdened her heart, the dreams she'd woven seemed to be drifting further and further each time she took a step forward to the stage.
The words 'Qubool hai' escaped her lips, her eyes stung with tears as everyone stood hugging one another once Kabeer repeated the same, she looked desperately at Kabeer hoping he'd notice and see the turmoil bubbling within her.
The rest of the day passed in a blur, she didn’t pay attention. She couldn’t.
She was only 18 years old, fresh out of her college and her parents decided that marriage was the next step without consulting her or asking her what she wanted. They only seemed to think this was the right step into her future.
Kabeer stepped inside his bedroom, he looked mesmerised seeing Zara sat on the edge of the bed, her head dipped down slightly. He closed the door locking it and leaned against the wooden doors and stared for a moment. He couldn’t believe it.
He almost didn’t believe his father when he was told, Zara agreed.
His heart nearly dropped when she said the words today, 'Qubool hai'.
Kabeer stepped away from the door and approached her, his eyes perused her in the wedding dress he'd chosen with his mother, she'd worn it and was told numerous times by Salma chachi that Zara loved it.
Zara tilted her head up, she watched as Kabeer crouched down in front. She trembled nervously when he took her hands into his.
"K… Kabeer" she looked confused and nervous.
"Zara" he looked up her, his eyes focused and he smiled brightly. His heart lurched seeing her so close, his fingers closed her over hands and squeezed. "I still can't believe it" he whispered and pressed his lips to her hand. "You know, I didn’t think we'd be here. But we are" he shuffled onto his knees almost with excited nervousness. "Zara… you know… remember you kept asking me who's in my mind and I kept saying no one" his cheeks reddened as he chuckled. "Woh I lied… all this time it was you".
She stared stunned and recalled each time she'd seen him zoning out, and he'd said no one whenever she asked whether he was in love with someone.
She hadn’t expected this, Kabeer was in love with her. They were best friends for sure and she loved him, but as a friend. She hadn’t even realised he had fallen in love with her.
"Zara…" Kabeer whispered, his hands reaching for her. She shuddered when he cradled her cheeks in his hands, his eyes looked at her in a completely different way than she was used to. "You have no idea, how happy I am today" he murmured. "I feel as if I've been blessed with everything, I don’t want… no I don’t need anything else" he smiled warmly. "You're here, with me in our house".
Words that she wanted to give voice to died, she swallowed thickly. She closed her eyes as Kabeer shifted closer, she followed the gentle guidance of his hands as he brought her closer, she clutched onto the edge of the bed feeling his lips brush hers, her fingers released the edge and slowly found themselves holding onto his arms as he guided her onto her back…
"Zara" Salma shook her daughter. "Tumhara matlab kya ta?"
Kabeer stared at Zara, she looked away refusing to divulge anything. "Chachi" he held Salma's arms. "Let me speak to her please" he murmured. Salma wanted to refuse, she wanted to know what exactly Zara meant by 'daughter'.
Salma agreed reluctantly and walked out of the room, she paused seeing Ayesha stood by the door with Shahbaz standing behind her, their faces tensed as they happened to overhear the same.
Zara knew he was still in the room, she ignored him once again and grabbed at her clothes shoving them quickly into the suitcase.
"Zara" Kabeer called out to her, he wanted her focused and her whole attention. "Zara" he closed the distance between them grasping her arm and turning her to face him.
"What are you doing?" Zara snapped attempting to pull away from him, but she failed this time. He was stronger and furious, he wasn’t releasing her without an answer.
"What did you mean?" he questioned firmly.
"I have a daughter" Zara scowled. "What else will that mean?" she taunted.
"How could you not tell me?" his fingers loosened and dropped to his side. Kabeer stepped back and started pacing the floor. The thought of his child living away from him pierced his heart, and here… he had missed years off her life. "How could you have kept this from me?" he narrowed his eyes. "Your hatred blinded you so much that you kept a daughter away from her dad?"
Zara gathered herself together, "I said I had a daughter, not you Kabeer Ahmed" she answered. "Who said anything about you being the dad?"
"Enough" Kabeer yelled, she tensed for a moment never having seen this side of him. "I've had enough, I don’t know how to convince you that I… love, no loved you. But I am not going to let you keep me away from my daughter" he stated firmly.
"She's not yours! She's mine" Zara screamed out, "Where were you when she needed you? Where were you when I needed you?"
"I was right here, I always here Zara" Kabeer gestured with his arms spread out. "You walked out on us, you walked out" he pointed his finger at her harshly.
Zara looked baffled, she couldn’t believe that he was turning this all around and blaming her.
His eyes stung, tears slipped down his cheek. "I didn’t realise that your hatred for me is so much that you kept me away from my daughter" his lips shook, he backed a step brushing a hand through his hair. Zara swallowed thickly as he buckled onto the ground as the realisation dawned on him, he has a daughter out there, and… he doesn’t even know if he will be able to meet her because she's in the ICU fighting for her life.