Hanuman Singh's flaws - Page 3

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Even people who are close to him like Lala and Naeem Bi won't think of taking advantage of HS. It's just wrong.

Aaargh... I made a mess of the first sentence when I wrote my post... let me try again. When I said "Not sure others see this side of him at all." I meant that outsiders don't see that he lets mother-daughter get away with so much, by that I meant mohalle waale, etc. Not NB and Lala because they both have a pretty good idea of what goes on in the trio. He needs to establish those limits, and with Minnie things are much better. Not so with Babita. It will take time.

Oh for sure, Babita has to make amends too. When they were showing those flashbacks, she acknowledged her wrongs as well. I'll be even happier if they both apologize for the things they've done/said.

Your comment reminded me of this gif:

In some situations, communicating without words works effectively but in others, it fails horrendously.

Yes, it needs to be supplemented with verbal communication. Whether or not Babita knows why he was so harsh with her, he needs to come forward and explain himself.

In any relationship, whenever there is a fight, somebody needs to let go and try to extend the olive branch. Prickling issues need to be addressed in a calm manner so that they can get to the root of the problem. As you mentioned, Minnie has more than tried and made up for her misbehavior. She has now gotten to the point where the relationship she has established with HS is of a parent-child. I think it's a bit easier for a relationship like this to be created as the foundation for it was always being created in increments. But Hanita's rishta, while a slow burn, is between that of a man & woman's. It's just different and involves a lot of complexities that a father/daughter's necessarily doesn't.

Yes, and this is what HS has been saying trying to explain, that the relationship between a man and a woman is very complicated. He is also aware that he is rough around the edges and sometimes does indeed miss the finer points. Something he needs to work on, because Babita is not like Imarti. He cannot apply the same policies with her.

I agree. And if he doesn't, I will be even more pissed because what the fudge? First he tells Babes to stay within her limits and not take too much interest in a "paraya mard" and then he goes ahead, interfering in her life and tries to mend her broken relationships? If Babes can be faulted for constantly being hot and cold, then HS should be faulted too.

I am giving him a chance to fix it this week and I hope he will do so very soon.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

If he's hurt about that, then I completely understand but again, he needs to vocalize it. HS has always been honest about his feelings so to see him blatantly lying, that too on a continual basis, it hurts and irks me.

They've both hurt each other very deeply and what sucks is that they both did it on purpose. They both knew exactly what their reactions will do to the other and how broken it will leave them. I don't think Babes did it with the intention of getting back at HS but she did use it as an easy way, and by constantly saying, "I don't know him", "I don't trust anyone these days", she's in a sense erasing or discrediting everything he has done for them. I could be reading all of this wrong though.

This also has been the longest time they've went without speaking to one another, that too after a major fight. Rather than holding onto grudges, or just sweeping them aside, they need to address the underlying issues so that they don't crop up again.

Yes, I just wrote in a post above that he needs to speak up. The thing is, it's fine if he forgives easily but not if he often does so without the other person asking for forgiveness. Sometimes this can backfire because not only does the other person take him for granted, they often don't get to hear that he was hurt in the first place and that he chose to forgive them.

That's exactly how I'm reading it, too. HS knew what he was doing of course, and was prepared for the fallout as well as her departure. However, she put him down and it was an indirect jab at his character, and I think the fact that he wasn't expecting it at all from her made it worse. A lot of it is his doing, of course.

No one can solve it for them, not even Minnie. Using her as a proxy is not going to help. They need to talk to one another and directly. As we saw in the on-location video, the director was saying it had been 8 days since they'd last talked. I know a lot has happened and they can't avoid it forever, especially now that HS has sort of extended an olive branch by brining in Pinku. I'm not sure how much of it was for Minnie and how much for Babita. Perhaps both.

I think first of all people need to stop comparing Imarti and Babita. Imarti is past and Babita is present. Imarti jaise thi, Babita can never be like that. HS definitely needs to be more sensitive towards Babita... similarly Babita cannot be with HS the same way she might have been with Ashok in the beginning of their relationship. Their relationship has be its own... not a mirage of how HS and Imarti's relationship was.

HS needs to apologize for the things he said (i would expect an apology as well), and Babita has already acknowledged she's hurt him in the past, so she should apologize for that as well.. And they need to move on after that. Then, the whole marriage and proposal will actually make sense.

I think HS and Babita will have a talk with each other, before the precap scene happens.

Originally posted by: LoveInAutumn26

I think first of all people need to stop comparing Imarti and Babita. Imarti is past and Babita is present. Imarti jaise thi, Babita can never be like that. HS definitely needs to be more sensitive towards Babita... similarly Babita cannot be with HS the same way she might have been with Ashok in the beginning of their relationship. Their relationship has be its own... not a mirage of how HS and Imarti's relationship was.

HS needs to apologize for the things he said (i would expect an apology as well), and Babita has already acknowledged she's hurt him in the past, so she should apologize for that as well.. And they need to move on after that. Then, the whole marriage and proposal will actually make sense.

I think HS and Babita will have a talk with each other, before the precap scene happens.

Imarti Imarti thi, aur Babita Babita hai. Aside from their gender, they may not have anything in common! 😆

Originally posted by: inlieu

Aaargh... I made a mess of the first sentence when I wrote my post... let me try again. When I said "Not sure others see this side of him at all." I meant that outsiders don't see that he lets mother-daughter get away with so much, by that I meant mohalle waale, etc. Not NB and Lala because they both have a pretty good idea of what goes on in the trio. He needs to establish those limits, and with Minnie things are much better. Not so with Babita. It will take time.

Yes, it needs to be supplemented with verbal communication. Whether or not Babita knows why he was so harsh with her, he needs to come forward and explain himself.

Yes, and this is what HS has been saying trying to explain, that the relationship between a man and a woman is very complicated. He is also aware that he is rough around the edges and sometimes does indeed miss the finer points. Something he needs to work on, because Babita is not like Imarti. He cannot apply the same policies with her.

I am giving him a chance to fix it this week and I hope he will do so very soon.

It's a good thing he doesn't either otherwise they would all try to take advantage of him.

Hanita have an idea of what's bothering the other but it's relayed to them via third persons. In a way, it's fine since they know that there is a problem. However, they need to say it to each other's faces and in their own way. Only then will they realize just how much they've been troubling each other. I.e., their little spat in front of the door, they were just scratching at the surface of what was bothering them but they didn't really carry it forward. Instead, it just got worse and worse.

If he wants Babita to get over her fears and issues so that she's able to handle him, then he needs to do the same. He's already really sensitive towards her and has often tried using different tactics to explain things to her. But now that they have gotten personal and have started to involve him, he's not budging. He can't dive into this relationship immediately, expecting her to treat him like Imarti did. Babita may never get to that point simply because it's not in her nature. But that doesn't mean that she won't have her own style of loving him or making up to him after a tiff. His relationship with Babita is a new territory and it should be treated as such.

I too am giving him till the end of next week to at least offer up an apology. If he doesn't, then Imma be upset. 🤔

I accept him the way he is, I find him PERFECT and am blindly in love with him. ❤️

No flaws at all and no apologies needed from him at least. He has apologised enough umpteen times even when no apology was needed. He also has the right to feel terribly hurt.

If at all anyone should apologise to him instead of giving him the silent treatment which is not how he functions as he is the types who will never prolong a tiff but will resolve it before sleeping lol and who never keeps grudges, it is Babita for the many nasty things she has told him and for having abandoned him and not trusted him when he needed her support the most. Singling out one uncharacteristic behaviour from him and fixating on it to this extent and turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to all his wonderful deeds, gestures and words is not on!

But knowing him he will apologise the wonderful human being he is and she will not.

Originally posted by: inlieu

Yes, I just wrote in a post above that he needs to speak up. The thing is, it's fine if he forgives easily but not if he often does so without the other person asking for forgiveness. Sometimes this can backfire because not only does the other person take him for granted, they often don't get to hear that he was hurt in the first place and that he chose to forgive them.

That's exactly how I'm reading it, too. HS knew what he was doing of course, and was prepared for the fallout as well as her departure. However, she put him down and it was an indirect jab at his character, and I think the fact that he wasn't expecting it at all from her made it worse. A lot of it is his doing, of course.

No one can solve it for them, not even Minnie. Using her as a proxy is not going to help. They need to talk to one another and directly. As we saw in the on-location video, the director was saying it had been 8 days since they'd last talked. I know a lot has happened and they can't avoid it forever, especially now that HS has sort of extended an olive branch by brining in Pinku. I'm not sure how much of it was for Minnie and how much for Babita. Perhaps both.

She wasn't expecting him to be so rude to her either. And the fact that he did it on purpose just makes it worse. Imarti's case totally blind sided Babes. So for her to feel completely lost and unsure about him made sense up to an extent. Of course we and she knew that it's not in his character to be capable of homicide, but it didn't change the fact that in some ways she had lost all trust in him. If he can willingly hurt her with the intent of pushing her away, then what else could he do?

I know we don't like comparing HS with Ashok and I don't either. They're both two completely different men but let's look at their actions for a moment. Ashok attacked Babita's character as a woman for the purpose gaining a divorce. HS attacked Babita's character as a woman, mother and entrepreneur for the purpose of pushing her away from himself. In both cases, they attacked her below the belt just so that she goes away. Ashok didn't pause to consider her feelings; HS knew exactly how it would hurt and yet he did it anyway.

I know we've mentioned Minnie's relationship with HS as a reason for why Babes should not leave the haveli, but we need to consider Babita too. If HS doesn't apologize, then why should she stay back? It's not like she's forbidding Minnie from ever seeing him again. She simply doesn't want to maintain any sort of relationship with him in the Babita/HS context. Right now she's at the point where she doesn't want to be his tenant, friend or anything else.

The whole Pinku scene comes off as being irrelevant to me. Regardless of HS' interference, they had still reached out to Pinku. Seeing their phone call, Pinku would have still picked up the phone, came over and mended things with her. It's just that HS got to him first and brought him home.

Originally posted by: Padmajaan

I accept him the way he is, I find him PERFECT and am blindly in love with him. ❤️

No flaws at all and no apologies needed from him at least. He has apologised enough umpteen times even when no apology was needed. He also has the right to feel terribly hurt.

If at all anyone should apologise to him instead of giving him the silent treatment which is not how he functions as he is the types who will never prolong a tiff but will resolve it before sleeping lol and who never keeps grudges, it is Babita for the many nasty things she has told him and for having abandoned him and not trusted him when he needed her support the most. Singling out one uncharacteristic behaviour from him and fixating on it to this extent and turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to all his wonderful deeds, gestures and words is not on!

Originally posted by: Padmajaan

But knowing him he will apologise the wonderful human being he is and she will not.

🤣 I find him PERFECT too, and am also in love with him.

This is exactly why I want him to apologize, because it's the decent thing to do. It has nothing to do with her, but everything to do with him. It is in his pursuit of always trying to be a good man and to be fair to people.

To me, whether or not Babita apologizes is irrelevant from the point of view that I want HS to always continue to show society how to respect women and do what is right.

Originally posted by: asmaanixx

Ashok didn't pause to consider her feelings; HS knew exactly how it would hurt and yet he did it anyway.

I know we've mentioned Minnie's relationship with HS as a reason for why Babes should not leave the haveli, but we need to consider Babita too. If HS doesn't apologize, then why should she stay back? It's not like she's forbidding Minnie from ever seeing him again. She simply doesn't want to maintain any sort of relationship with him in the Babita/HS context. Right now she's at the point where she doesn't want to be his tenant, friend or anything else.

The whole Pinku scene comes off as being irrelevant to me. Regardless of HS' interference, they had still reached out to Pinku. Seeing their phone call, Pinku would have still picked up the phone, came over and mended things with her. It's just that HS got to him first and brought him home.

If you think back to the flashbacks Babita had after she overheard Poonam and Minnie's conversations, she remembered exactly those moments when she had been rude and deliberately said extremely hurtful things to HS. She knows she was wrong, even if HS had not made a big deal out of it back then, except the bachcha chor comment. He fought with her on the spot, and then left. The only one where he didn't was when she handed him the envelope where he left silently. That incident still hurts him, which came out the other day.

I think deep down, Babita does want Hanuman but she's afraid, insecure, and just overall confused about how to deal with everything. She is also now aware of the fact that HS and Minnie have this bond but any decisions she makes should be her own. HS decided to keep the two relationships separate, and I'm impressed that he thinks he can continue to do so, but he needs to stop fooling himself.

I think bringing Pinku back is just in line with what one would expect HS to do. Just like he had realized his veer balika would benefit from having a proper camera and went and quietly went and bought one without being asking. It showed what he was trying to say to NB that he doesn't take things to heart and what happened with Babita didn't stop him from doing things like this. I think this time he cannot let it slide and must voice what he said to NB to Babita as well.

We saw when he first started falling for Babita, but let's not forget that he doesn't feel exactly that way anymore, in that the intensity of his love has grown a lot since then. Now whatever she says is going to hurt him more than it did in the past and he's going to react more strongly each time. I think he's been under immense pressure controlling his grief about Imarti, his feelings for Babita, heck even his emotions for Minnie. It was only recently that he decided to come forward and do what his heart has always wanted, which is to claim her as his daughter. He got much needed relief then and he needs to continue to think along those lines, otherwise it is eating away at his insides.

I think he is giving himself a bit of a break too. He's a bit fed up with everything and just wants a stress-free period in his life. Fair enough, but he can't escape forever.