Kahaan se shuru karoon? Na aise jazbaat alfaazon ke mohtaaj hotey hain aur na hi aisi adakaari. Aaj to Aniruddh ne waqey qatl-e-aam kar diya. Unn ki azmat ke saath insaaf karne ki yeh ek chhoti si koshish hai is nacheez ki.
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Minnie kept remembering what she had seen earlier and based on what she was used to reading in the romantic novels, she was concerned about preventing her young mother from going “astray” and losing control of herself.
It was an interesting contrast between Minnie and Babita today. We saw that Minnie was a kid after all. Even though she though she thought she had all the answers, and that her mother needed mothering, there was so much in life she had yet to understand about what love involved. On the other hand, Babita arrived, visibly upset but showing so much compassion and understanding of the situation. This was unexpected, to be honest. I did not think she had analyzed HS’ situation in so much depth since she had always seemed so self-centered. Minnie smartly diverted the topic from the embarrassment of her parents being caught red-handed by her, to asking if Babita had succeeded in ridding HS of his drinking.
Log hain na, apni lugayian chhod sakte hain, par sharaab nahin chhod sakte
Par Babes, Hanuman Uncle ki lugaayi to already chhoot gayi hai na?
How could Babita erase the memories of Imarti? How could she fight against the memories that continued to hold HS in a vice-like grip? The memories that were eating away at his insides. I was surprised to hear Babita’s empathy, comparing their own situation to his, the time they had taken to break free of their memories. The difference was that they had left the bitterness behind, whereas HS’ memories had nothing but love and passion, which intermingled with his present.
Minnie realized that this lance that had remain lodged in HS’ heart all these years needed to be removed, otherwise the memories of Imarti would remain the biggest hurdle to her parents becoming one.
Baap-Beti
As already discussed on this forum, the father-daughter scenes were something else altogether. I think most of us girls can relate to every single moment of Minnie’s morning routine for HS. She looked at his innocent, sleeping form with so much affection, gently placing the hand that hung outside of the bed back to rest on his stomach, just like he had indicated to Babita to do for Minnie in the hospital. She gently stroked his hair, as if wanting to wipe all his worries away, feeling for the immense pain she knew he was in. She had not witnessed any of the quarrels and upheavals of last night, but her heart knew that he had spent a night in pain and had only managed to fall asleep after overpowering his senses with alcohol.
As she took out his clothes and pressed them, prepared his socks and shoes, and heated up some water for him to bathe with, it was obvious that she had on some level become very familiar with his morning routine after living with him for so many months. She knew exactly what he needed to get dressed and go to work. I don’t think she’d ever ironed Babita’s clothes! It didn’t seem like she went downstairs with a plan. She had just been guided by what she had been feeling, and imagining the extent of his grief made her want to do what children do best, show their unconditional love and soothe the pain of the parents. Daughters know what their fathers need and her actions spoke louder than words. I felt that she was all grown up today.
HS stirred as he heard her movements, peeked to see his uniform ready and then closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Today, he was the child who wanted to sleep in a bit longer, and she the mother, waking him up lest he arrive late for work. 5 more minutes, she allowed him (just like parents do when trying to wake their kids up for school). He peeked at her then closed his eyes again, but the moment she reached out for the bottle under his bed, he caught her, shaking his head.
Betiyaan jo hoti hain na, woh baap ki sharaab ki bottle haat na laagati.
To beti ki baat maan lo, sharaab chhod do?
Apne veer balika ki baat nahin maanoge?
This was the first time she had referred to herself as his Veer Balika, in fact twice this morning.
And just like that, they verbalized their father-daughter bond - simple lines but big statements. We had imagined all these scenarios, adoption, dad vs dad fight but the CVs were having none of that. These writers never cease to amaze me. (Side note: HS’ husky morning voice and that messy hair… Uff!)
Maanunga kyun nahin chhori, tu to mhaari Queen Victoria hai. Hmm?
To qasam khao sharaan nahin piyoge?
Arey kya tu ne subah se ratt laga rakhi hai. Aur yeh sab karne ki kya zaroorat thi chhori? Hein?
It had been ages since someone had done all this for him (other than Lala).
Hanuman Uncle, agar aap aise bacchon jaisi harkatein karoge, itni der tak uthoge ge hi nahin, to mujhe karna padega na? She said, as she applied toothpaste to his brush.
Beti jab maa banne lagti hai na, to baap bhi bacha sa ban jaata hai, he said, affectionately putting his palm on her head (also the first time he had done this), just like fathers do, eyes were overflowing with wonderment and love for his daughter.
I loved how he was about to reply to Lala’s question about him drinking again last night with a mouth full of paste, then stopped to rinse his mouth, spit out the water, wiped his mouth and continued the conversation. I really really love these realistic touches, it feels as if I’m actually watching someone’s morning routine. I also love how they set up even the most crucial scenes as part of everyday activities, with no fanfare and melodrama, which is why they create a stronger impact.
Jo uski yaad aati hai to mhaare se control nahin hota. Chadha leta hoon phir.
This was the first time Minnie had heard him talk about missing Imarti, and the dip in his voice made Minnie tear up.
The question she then innocently asked may have seemed simple but it was in fact loaded with a lot of speculation and curiosity about what HS was like with Imarti? Did he used to wake up late when Imarti was around?
Where Babita could not even mention Imarti’s name, Minnie had no qualms about asking such a direct question because she knew she could, because HS had given her that right, that hold on him. He would never misunderstand her intentions or put limits around her emotions for him or his for her. Just as he had often asked her tough questions en route to parenting her, she was asking him now. This was a stark contrast to the boundaries set and challenged in yesterday’s episode between Babita and him.
HS turned round to look at her, surprised that she had brought it up, but also understanding her curiosity and where this was coming from. She was asking her father to be open, to honestly answer her questions, and to share a little bit of himself with her, without fear. Unable to respond immediately, he glanced at Lala to help him out.
Lala wanted to stop her from asking such ill-timed questions, but she remained steadfast. HS knew her too well - she was not going to budge after stirring up the hornet’s nest.
Mujhe jaanna hai. Kaisi thi woh? Kaisi dikti thi? Kya meri babes se bhi acchi thi? Meri babes se bhi sundar?
There was no hesitation or disrespect in her voice, just awe and a genuine curiosity to know a little better the woman who had captured his heart and continued to do so even today. Minnie had never seen Imarti’s pictures so she could only imagine her to be a great beauty who had won the undying love that she could only hope her own mother could have from HS one day.
Somehow like Babita, Minnie was a little insecure of Imarti’s looming presence - was she more beautiful, more captivating than her mother? What was it about her that held sway over him today, even after all these years? Would her mother never match up to her beauty, her immense personality?
I was once again amazed by how perceptive HS was. He knew exactly why she had been thinking along those lines, knew that she was too young and inexperienced to understand that love transcended all that was physical tangible. She had only seen or heard of the superficial aspect of people and their nature. He also knew that she had never seen this with her parents, so she had no point of reference to go on. He had never compared Imarti and Babita, never expected Babita to "match up" to Imarti or anything of the sort. Minnie's comparative questions made him uncomfortable.
Body and Soul
I absolutely loved the way he shut her down with an amused smile by saying that beauty was skin deep, it lasts only as long as the body is there.
Kaisi baat karti hai chhori? Hein?
Kabhi tu ekdum se nanhi si bacchi ban jaati hai. Kabhi tu ekdum se maa banne lagti hai. Kaise mood mati jaisi sawaal pooch rahi hai tu, bawli?
Pagli, shareer ka ke hai? Yeh to aise hi (...) hai. (I missed the word in the audio).
Rang roop? Rang roop ka ke hai? Jab tak yo shareer mein praan hai na, tab tak yeh rang roop hai.
Ek baar jab shareer mein se praan choot jaaye, to phir to chhori ke sundar, ke asundar? Maati ka shareer hai yo, maati mai hi marh jaata hai.
It was not her beauty but her spirit that had conquered his heart. Physical beauty was of no import. Her body had long since turned to ashes but her soul would continue to live within him. Can I just applaud his thoughts and wisdom here? Also kudos to the dialogue writers.
Sundarta aur roop ka ke moh? Kuch na? Moh maya hai chhori ye sab. It’s nothing.
Aur agar yeh moh kabhi jaaye hi na? Then to everything matters, na? Then everything is not fine, she challenged.
HS felt ill at ease upon hearing this. Unable to scold Minnie and fearing he would not be able to control his emotions much longer, he indicated to Lala to help him send her away, literally closing the curtains on this act.
Minnie had managed to grip the lance that had been long since twisted deep into his heart, exposing the yet unhealed wound, as though her questions had jabbed it deeper still. What happened behind the scenes was nothing short of gut-wrenching to watch, as HS lost the battle against himself, unable to hold back as the dam burst, the assault causing his eyes to bleed tears.
My respect for HS gained new heights as I watched how he fought against his physiological responses to the prodding about his trauma, how he tried to ebb the flow of tears using his towel for support, his silent screams threatening to escape the confines of the shower curtains. His posture depicted his defeat as he could not remain upright, bending over in pain, trying to control himself, and finally collapsing to the floor as he gave in.
When had cried in the hospital after talking to Minnie, he had not wanted his daughter to see him in that state, and he could not let her see him this way today as she stood a few meters away. She could not see him through the barrier, but she could feel the emotions he was going through, hurting on his behalf. It mirrored their unspoken empathy for each other just as they had both cried in the hospital, there the wall and here the curtain unable to prevent their emotions from being transmitted to each other.
Perhaps he should have let her see it all so she could understand, but I don’t think he wanted to inflict that on her. I really do want her to see him break down completely one day, though.
Whodunnit?
We learned that HS had lost his wife 7-8 years ago when he had been around 30. Somehow that was exactly the duration I had in mind. Babita’s singular mindset showed that she could not understand that it was possible for HS to love both women differently - he had place for both of them in his heart. Naeem Bi raised a good point today, that where previously he used to hesitate, today he was being restricted by something.
Today we heard Babita speak of her heart’s desires openly, of what she desired in a companion. It was fitting to see that just as HS had fallen for his daughter’s mother, she had on some level fallen for her daughter’s father. However, she still felt insecure about her position in HS’ life.
Mujhe to aisa lag raha tha ke HS ji ko Minnie mein apna khoya hua bachha mil gaya hai.
Humein bhi aisa laga tha, Babita. We had been assuming that HS’ attachment to Minnie was because he had lost his own child. If that is not the case, then it is even more remarkable that he would love her to this extent, perhaps because their common childhood pain because of their fathers. We’ll find out one day, I’m sure, why he is so attached to her. It’s not as if she’s an adorable 5-year-old that he is watching growing up. She’s almost a woman, yet to him she is just a child, his child. I can only wonder at how generous his heart must be, how immense his capacity to love must be.
I don’t know what the CVs are up to. First they don’t mention her cause of death for months, then they have Naeem Bi tell us she died during childbirth, and now this new mystery. I am not going to speculate except to say it will be something unexpected and will have us dumbfounded, again. Naeem Bi was reluctant to speak of it, perhaps it was not her secret to tell. Interestingly enough, Babita did not trust Beeji enough to talk about such a personal thing in front of her. Naeem Bi made an excuse, and it makes me think she also made an excuse to Beeji when she had asked about Imarti.
Finally, Imarti's Photo
Lala gave in to Minnie’s stubbornness to learn about Imarti, and gave her the keys to HS' past. As Minnie opened up the treasure, she lovingly ran her hands over all of Imarti’s things. She picked up the sindoor that Imarti would use, which HS had so carefully preserved, a sindoor which had been meaningless for her own father Ashok, and eventually to Babita. She picked up Imarti’s jhumka which probably had a story of its own, I assume a gift from HS as an expression of his true love, very different from the generic jhumkas that Ashok had picked up for Babita (and Beeji and Lovely) from a fair.
On one hand, Minnie put aside her fears and dipped right into his murky past, and on the other HS continued his futile attempts to wash away his grief, to wash away the pain that had surfaced in front of his daughter. He could feel that Minnie was still around and even with the curtains, he was still exposed, to himself above all. His raw emotions were no longer under cover.
(For once, I wished they would stop showing him bathing like that. I was supposed to be feeling sorry for him, not admiring his physique and how much he had beefed up over the months.)
Minnie finally picked up the photos of HS and Imarti’s wedding, and wiped the dust away to see more clearly into his past, much as she was trying to do to make him see more clearly his present. I was mesmerized by her gentle smile as she lovingly admired the photos that captured the start of an epic romance, one that she had never seen with her parents, one that her mother and she could only aspire to. This was her benchmark, the standard that she had looked up to, and she was overjoyed to finally give it a face.
I believe Imarti’s photos lived up to Minnie’s expectations. She immediately formed an unspoken bond with Imarti and her belongings by extension of her love for HS. I am not sure how to express this, but just as HS had begun to love Babita as the mother of his daughter, Minnie had begun to love Imarti as the love of HS' life, the woman who had made him into the great man she was privileged to call her father today. I am glad her face was revealed through Minnie and not HS - it was much more meaningful this way and also allowed Minnie to discover her independently.
I am not sure what that red file contained but it is definitely part of the great mystery around her death. She would not find out as HS caught her and pulled it out of her hand. Furious beyond anything Minnie had seen, he warned them both against touching the chest. It must remain closed. It was only his immense love for his daughter that kept him restrained otherwise he would have exploded.
Minnie knew that despite his fury, she was safe so she challenged him again. What was he trying to keep locked in? The pain that he never wanted to let go or end, because it was what kept him connected to Imarti forever.
She knew she was hurting him but she knew she had to show him the mirror today. He was unwilling to accept that Imarti had gone years ago but he had to come to terms with it, if not for them then to emerge from this bottomless pit he was in.
Imartiji ko gaye huey itne saal ho gaye hain na Hanuman Uncle. Lekin aap maanne ko hi ready nahin ho ke woh mar chuki hai.
HS could not bear to hear those words.
Mari nahin hai woh. Chhori, mari nahin hai.
Praan choot gaye uske, tan se. Lekin wo yahan baste hain mhaare kaleje mein. Jeevit hai woh.
Uski hansi sunayi deti hai manne. Uski saansein mhaare saath saath chalti hain.
Mhaari nas nas ke andar Imarti basi padi hai. Mari nahin hai woh. Aur khabardaar agar tune kabhi aage se yo baat ki to.
Tu na samjhe gi, rehne de chhori. Lekin mari na hai woh. Yo baat final hai.
He was right that no one had understood his pain, no one had understood what was buried in his heart. Imarti was an intrinsic part of his heart, soul, identity, in fact his very existence.
Minnie finally got a glimpse into the depth of his wound, crying as each word came out of his mouth, but she was not going to relent. He was not going to get off so easily today.
She faced him with a new challenge: If he was still so full of Imarti’s memories, why did he raise Babita’s hopes?
Agar aap ke dil mein jagah already bhari hui hai, to meri Babes kahan jayegi?
She exhibited the same lack of understanding as Babita, that HS had place for both women in his heart. His love was not mutually exclusive but today he realized that Minnie and her mother did not see that.
Minnie stood up for her mother’s right to happiness, to not suffer once again. She was basically asking him to make a choice between living in his past and moving on with Babita. I don’t think mother-daughter get the point that he doesn’t have to let go of Imarti in order to accept Babita. He just needed to reconcile his feelings. I understand her concern for her mother, that even though she loves and trusts HS, she is afraid that her mother will be hurt a second time round. I still think that she is a bit selfish for her Babes, that she would choose her Babes over HS any day at this point, which is fine. But I think she is judging HS too harshly. She needs to be fair with both parents and meddle a little less. Let’s hope they explore this a bit more in upcoming sequences.
She did drive home a few truths, though. It was as though she was the spokesperson for the Babita, and for the audience today. I also think she was, on some level, fighting for herself too. She wanted her father, all of him, for herself too.
Koi ek zinda insaan se compete kar bhi sakta hai, fight back kar bhi sakta hai, lekin yaadon se compete kaise karegi meri Babes? Woh bhi larger-than-life aapki Imarti ji ke memories se?
Why did they feel they had to compete at all? It was not necessary and was completely meaningless. She finally showed him that her Babes and she felt that they would always be overshadowed by the memories of Imarti and her grand personality.
I understand, aap bohot pyar karte the unse, Imarti ji se, and I really respect you for that, she said, saluting him. There it was again, the awe and admiration for his undying love for Imarti, something that intimidated both mother and daughter.
Woh jaa chuki hai yaar. Zinda nahin hai woh, she’s not in this world anymore.
Aap hi ne kaha na abi, ke praan tyaag chuki hai woh.
Lekin meri Babes, uske praan nahin nikle hain abhi tak, saansein chalti hain uski, dil dhadakta hai uska, dil dukhta hai uska. Zinda hai meri Babes, apne saare desires ke saath, saare insecurities ke saath meri Babes zinda hai Hanuman Uncle. Do you understand that?
He understood, he had always understood but Minnie and Babita still had not. He had never intended to string Babita along or make false promises. In fact, he had never made any promises he could not keep. He was stunned to hear Minnie compare Imarti’s memories to Meeta, the other woman. Franky, I found that to be very disrespectful, both to Imarti and to HS’ love for both the women, even if she did not mean to be. Previously, HS had been stunned by Minnie confronting him regarding his feelings only to realize that she was too young to understand his love and the complicated situation between Babita and him. He was empathetic then and he was empathetic today because he knew she was trying to be protective of her Babes but she lacked understanding all the complexities. He was right that there were some things she just would not understand at this age, and it was pointless arguing with her. She would eventually realize but today was not that day.
As he heard Minnie speak up in anguish he also heard the words she had not said: that her Babes and she were waiting for a clear sign from him, a confirmation from him that he was theirs, that they belonged with him in his present and future, that he was theirs, whole. This current state of limbo made them feel insecure and unsure of how to proceed. Babita’s complaints from last night, stemming from her insecurities, finally made sense. Yes, he was hurting, but it was not their fault. They deserved a full second chance at life, and he had to be all in. The choice of words that HS and Minnie used to talk about Imarti were not coincidental. Below, I quote from the letter to Imarti that Babita had dictated on behalf of HS (episode 123). What amazing parallels and brilliant writing to link back to that today!
Meri Imarti,
Main jaanta hoon ke tum chali gayi ho.
Par phir bhi aisa lagta hai ke yahin kahin ho, aas paas.
Subah ki lalima mein tum ho, raat ki chaandni mein tum ho.
Meri hansi mein tum ho, aur mere aankh se behte ansoon mein tum hi to chhipi hui ho.
Har roz tumhare pairon ki payal chhanakti hai iss aangan mein.
Har roz, tumhari choodi ke khanak se main uth jaata hoon.
Tumhari baatein, ab bhi goonjti hain iss haveli mein.
Tumhari hansi, ab bhi behti hai mere kaanon mein.
Log kehte hain, ke tumne praan tyaag diya.
Par tumhare praan to mere saanson mein basey huey hain na?
Haan tumne apna shareer tyaag diya hai.
Par tumhaari aatma? Woh to jaise mere andar ghul si gayi ho.
I would have preferred that the episode end here, but it was not to be!
Before moving on, I will quote what Keanu Reeves once said when asked “What do you think happens when we die”?
"I know that the ones who love us will miss us," he had replied.
That is the only certainty of death and that is the certainty that HS faces day in day out.
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After the emotional upheaval, they took us back to more mundane things.
Minnie had a run-in with the vegetable seller. I am not sure what that scene was for. Perhaps Mickey gives her ideas on how to get the two to confess. I guess we’ll find out later why.
Hanuman walked in to his house, ready to help prepare for the pooja, announcing that he had taken a half day off, for everyone's benefit, including Babita. It was for his daughte, after all. No one had asked him to, but despite the confrontation of the morning, he would do whatever was required. Giving the sulking Babita a look saying he was still angry from last night, he went to Naeem Bi’s house to pick up some mattresses, and some pearls of her wisdom. (And here I thought he had gone to spend the night at his maayka).
Precap - HS going down the stairs to her, as if coming with his baaraat. I saw it as roles reversed. Normally it is HS looking up at Babita standing upstairs, here he is coming off his pedestal and descending to her level, becoming more accessible, if you know what I mean. After what happened between Minnie and him, I think this is is absolutely the wrong time for him to express his feelings. They all need to sort out these issues before taking the plunge, Minnie included. She has a lot to understand yet. Again, the whole “hum sab baaraati ban ke jayenge” leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It is too soon, too public.
I wish Minnie would give him some space! I don't think I'm looking forward to the upcoming episodes as I'm already squirming about how publicly everything seems to be done.
Music Corner
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