YRHPK NAUTANKI- NEW- Babies day at RV House part 2 page 30 - Page 16

Kuku's Familymoon- Part 4

-The Alcoholic Adventures

(Contributed by Onyourface (Uru), meen123 (meen) and socioboss9797 (Aku))

Dear Readers,

Before reading this part, we'd suggest you to first go through the first, second and third parts of this Nautanki series. Here are the links:

Part 1: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/150798953?tid=5102711

Part 2: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/150834723?tid=5102711

Part 3: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/150839037?tid=5102711

The remaining parts:

Part 5: How Many Weddings?: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/150847796?tid=5102711

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At the godown:

Sourav: Sapan, my master, I'm thirsty. Please mujhe paani pila do.

Sapan (looking at his chelas with a grin):Yeh dekh, ise pyaas lagi hai. HA HA HA. Ja, leke aa iske liye 'PAANI' (winks)

*Chela 1 goes to bring 'water'*

Kuhu: Yeh jo bhi ho raha hai tumhari vaje se ho raha hai...tumne meri engagement me aake Kunal ko kiss kiya...ab honeymoon bhi bigaadne aayi ho...Shwet ki bachhi..

Shwet: *cuts her*...Kuhu tumhare balo me spider...!

Kuhu:...Aaaaa..aaa...kaha hai kaha hai..aaa.?

Shwet: Shut up you dumbo...nahi hai...Lekin sambhal ke rehna..spider tumhare balo me ghus gaya toh niklega nahi...phas jaega.

Kuhu: #chipkalikahinki

Sapan: Aeeeee chup chup...Shanti se betho dono...Varna....*enters Mishbir*...Wah Wah...aao padharo mare des.....aeee...inke haath vandho re.

Chela 3:...Lekin jaane 2 hai aur rassi ek....ek ko...aa..jaane dete hai..aa...

Sapan: Tu kya dimag ko tala laga ke Goa k dariye me baha k aaya hai?....Dono ka ek ek haath saath me bandh do...saath me bethe rehenge.

Shwet: Nahi nahi....aise mat karo....unko nahi...mera haath Abir k saath bandho...Mishti ko alag se bithao.

Kuhu: Kunal ko kiss kar k mann nai bhara jo ab Abir ka haath pakadna hai?

Shwet: Ohh poor Kuhu....tum itni frustrated islie ho na ki tumhari honeymoon night spoil ho gayi...?

Kuhu: Kum se kum mai logo se paise nai leti pyaar karne ke...#cheap

Sapan: Kyu re tu pendulum hai...kyu bandhna hai uske saath?

Shwet: Mai to aapki bhalayi k liye keh rahi thi....last time yaad nahi ...Mishti rassi kholne mein expert hai ....usko alag se bithao..

Sapan: Haa ye to sahi baat....ek min...tu kaha thi last time...tujhe kaise pata?

Shwet: Universe mein kya chal raha hai mujhe sab pata hota hai....mai Atra Tatra Savatra hun..

Sapan: Aur mai Dr. Batra hun....chup shaani....chup chap bethi reh ...

*Chela 1 brings water*

Sourav: Pani aa gaya....give it to me.. give it to me.

Sapan: Aeee ruk ...Pani chahie..toh pehle kaam karna padega... Meenakshi Rajvansh ko phone laga aur bol 6 jaano k liye 6 khokhe ka intazam kare abhi.

Sourav:. Yeahh ...yeah...sure ...but konse boxes...I mean...aa... cardboard or plastic?

Sapan: Pagal..... *slaps Sourav* Tujhe kya Hindi samajh nahi aati?

Sourav: No dude. Mai Australia se aaya hoon.

Sapan: Acha. Aisa hai toh tera toh 3 khokha akele ka lagana padega. Meenakshi Rajvansh ko phone lagake bol 8 khokhe ka intezaam kare.

Abir: Sapppan....dekh tu mujhe pehle bata ki tune hume kidnap kyun kiya hai?

Sourav: Arey pehle mujhe toh batao koi ki yeh khokha hota kya hai?

Ketki: Khokha means crores.

Sourav: Oye teri ki! Hawww! 8 crores!

Kuhu: Sapan, tumne thodi der pehle bola tha na ki tumhe paise nahi chahiye. Ab kyun maang rahe ho?

Sapan: Tu zyada apna dimaag mat laga chokri.

Shwet: Uljhe baal wali oversmart. Don't you know? Puri duniyaa paiso ke piche bhagti hai... I'm sure tumne bhi Kunal se paiso ke liye shaadi kiya hoga, haina Maggie?

Kuhu: Aaaaaaaa.... you....safedi ki bachchii... Sapan bhai, aapko agar kissi ko maar dalna hai toh ise mar dijiye. #chipkalikimauth

Ketki: Paani... Paani... mujhe... paani chahiye... (feeling a bit giddy)

Sapan (looking at Sourav): Dekh teri chamiya ko bhi pyaas lagi hai. Paani pina hain toh ab phone laga Meenakshi Rajvansh ko.

Sourav: Ketki, don't worry. Tumhe paani milega. You should be thirsty only to kiss me, baaki paani toh mai tumhe pila hi doonga.

Ketki: Sourav.... chup...ho...jaao.. Paani..Paani...

Sapan: Aye Romeo, baatein ho gayi ho toh yeh le ab phone pe baat kar... maine number laga diya hai...

Phone is on loudspeaker.

Sourav: Hello, Aunty ji... mai kidnap ho chuka hoon.. aap please 8 crores ka intezaam karo..

Meenu: Helllo...Hello Sourav... kya?

Kunal (in the background): Maa, yeh Sourav kya bol raha hai?

Meenu: Kunal beta, yeh kuch kidnapping ki baat kar raha hai.

Kunal: Kya? Voh kidnap ho gaya?

Meenu: Haan. Aur 8 crore ka intezaam karne ko kehe raha hai.

Kunal: Shayad voh joke kar raha ho.

Meenu: Sahi kaha beta. Vaise bhi uss besharam nirlaj chokre se main kuch umeed nahi kar sakti..... (cancels the call)

Sapan: Ayeee.... yeh kya kiya tune launde.... teri tohhhhh.....

Chela 1: Boss, shant ho jao...

Sapan: Aye chirkut! Pehli baar tune sahi baat ki hai.

Tum dono ko pyaas lagi thi na? (Looking at Ketki and Sourav)

Ab loh piyo. (Shoves in the bottle in their mouths which was brought by chela)

Sourav: Aahhhh. This is so refreshing... yeh toh water se kitna better taste karta hai...aahhh... mujhe isko hi pike roz jogging pe jaana chahiye...

Ketki: Sourav, yeh paani nahi hai... mujhe lagta hai ki yeh.....

Abir: Kya Ketki? Yeh kya hai?

Ketki: Yeh sharaab hai....

Sapan: HA HA HA HA

Kuhu: Madira....muje madira bohot pasand hai. Isko peeke kum se kum yeh safedi toh dikhni band hogi. Mujhe bhi do...Mai puri bottle piyungi...

Mishti: Kuhu ki bachchi, tera dimaag to theek hai na?

Shwet: Vaise bhi tumhara standard dekh ke pata chalta hai...Madira..how L.S.

Kuhu: Sportscar aur saasuma na jaane humein bachane aayenge bhi ya nahi....lekin tab tak kya bore hoke mar jaun? Usse acha madira pi loon...tum yaha aise hi sober hokar bore hona, Miss Shweeeeeeeeeeet!

Sapan: Yeh dono fir shuru ho gai. Bachpan ka war hai kya tumhara? Drama band karo abhi k abhi nai to sir pe bottle maar dungi sab ke.

Sourav: I'm in wonderlaaaand......(singing with Ketki and Sapan ke goons.

Sapan: Yeh hoti hai desi daaru ....ek ghut mein aadmi khalas...dekho kaise asar hoga abhi...bohot chapad chapad kar rahe the na..

Shwet: This is disgusting...ewwww...the smell..Oh My God...Ketki ..Sourav tum logo ko yeh nahi pina chahie tha...stupid!

Abir: Sapan ...apni limit cross mat kar..hamara iss pravachan se koi lena dena nahi hai....hum yahan holiday manane aaye the...iske Guruji ne pravachan rakha tha aur title isne suggest kiya tha.

Shwet: Abir tumhe title se problem kya hai..kitna acha title hai... alcoholics attract hote hai...

Abir: *gets angry*....Haa dekh lo kitna bada alcoholic attract hua hai...ab chup kar k betho..bohot raita faila chuki ho tum..

Sapan: Aee hero...mere adde pe dhamki sirf main dunga samjha?......Aur mere chehra pe 'mai bewakoof hun'..aisa likha hai kya? ...Pravachan nai karvaya to subah nashta kyu thoos rahe the saath mein?

Abir: in his mind * I hope Nanu ne meri baat sun li ho...*

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*Somewhere in Goa*

Nanu, Kaushal and Nidhi reach the spot where Mishbir were kidnapped and find Abir's phone.

Kaushal: Bapuji ...phone ...phone...mil gaya...

Nanu: Iska matlab sach mein Abir aur baaki sab musibat mein hain...police ko inform kar Kaushal...

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*Back in adda*

Sourav: Kkkeetkkkiii....mujhe har jagah sirf tum hi nazar aa rahi ho...hehehe..

Ketki: Fui ii nne suna ..na..hehehe...toh tumhara...hehe..dikhna bandh ...ho jayega...hehehe....

Abir: Inko chaad gayi..

Sapan: Inn do cartoon ko alag room mein leke jao re...ek ghut me hi pagal ho gaye...* Chela 1 takes them to other room*

*Sapan calls Meenu again*

Sapan: Mai Sapan bol raha hoon.

Meenu: Aur mai Meenakshi Rajvansh bol rahi hoon.

Sapan: Aye pagal aurat... mai Sapan- daaru ka Raja bol raha hoon.

Meenu: Kya? Tum?

Sapan: Mujhe sab yaad hai. Pehle tu aur tera pati dono mere se daaru khareedte the. Phir jabse tera pati tujhe chod ke gaya tune daaru pina band kar diya.

Meenu: Chup ho jao Sapan! Tumhari itni himmat!

Sapan: Zyada mat bol. Teri puri ki puri toli phirse mere havale hai.

Meenu: Kyaaaaa? Phirse havale ka matlab?

Kunal (in the background): What! Sapan! Usne phirse kidnap kar liya bhai ko?

Meenu puts the call on loudspeaker.

Sapan: Tu jaanti nahi? Tere bete pehle bhi kidnap ho chuke hai. Khair rehne de... ab mujhe 8 khokhe ka intezaam karke mil. Address tere phone pe aajayega..

Meenu: Par... (call gets cancelled)

Meenu: Hey Ambe Maa... yeh kya kar diya? Mera parivaar khatre mein hai... Main apne parivaar ke liye kuch bhi kar sakti hoon...

Kunal: Maa, ab kya karna hai? Police ko call lagau?

Meenu receives the message with the address.

Meenu: Nahi Kunal. Call mat lagao. Hum khud dhoondenge. Tum paiso ka intezaam karo.

Kunal: Theek hai.

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Kuhu: Kya? Kunal ki mom bhi alcohol piti thi? #alcoholicdragon

Abir thinking: Maa aur Baba ko alcohol pasand tha? Lagta hai iss Sapan se main apne baba ka pata laga sakta hoon.

Shwet: Auntyji and alcohol? Revelation of the century! Yeh baat guruji ko batana padega.

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Ketki and Sourav are extremely drunk in another room.

Ketki: Sou... sou...sou...Sourav.... tum kitne pyaare ho (Touching his face)

Sourav: Aur tum kitni biryani ho...hehehe...hehe

Ketki: Hehehhehehehe....

Ketki's hand touches a nearby window. On touching it, she could feel it move.

Ketki: Yeh toh hil raha hai.

Sourav: Keeeetttttt.....ki..... mera toh pura duniya hil raha hai jab se tum meri zindagi mein aayi ho.... hehehe.

Ketki pushes it further and the window opens up completely.

Ketki: Yeh khulllllllll gaya!

Sourav sees.

Sourav: Hawwww... Am I dreaming? Ketiiii....pinch my butt.

Ketki pinches his butt.

Sourav: Oh My God... chalo..... bhagooo ....

Ketki: Haannnn... lekin pehle....mai...mai....mai....mai....mai....mai....Abir bhai..ko toh bata du?

Sourav: Nahi.. pagli.... chalo mere saath..

Both climb and get out of the window...they run and they reach a place which is pretty faraway from the godown.

Sourav: Mujhe bore ho raha hai.. Kuch inter...inter...inter...resting karte hai.

Ketki: Lekin kya?

Sourav: Ummmm....umm....Shaadi?

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*Somewhere in Goa in the car*

Meenu: Kunal hum late nahi ho sakte...jaldi drive karo

*gets a call*...Bapuji aap?...Kya? ..Goa...mein ho?....Aapko pata hai?...Police ko bulaya hai....haa ..saaru...hum pahuch rahe hain.

*to Kunal*....Kunal jaldi drive karo...humein police se pehle pahunchna hai ...Abir ko bachane ka credit sirf hume milna chahie....agar aisa nahi hua to iski zimmedar Mishti hogi.

Kunal: Maa, voh kaise?

Meenu: Hum late kyun hue?

Kunal: Sourav ka call ..Humein pehle laga prank hai...

Meenu: Aur Sourav ko yahan lane vali kon hai?

Kunal: MISHTI....don't worry Maa...iss baar Mishti nai jit sakti.

Meenu: Ab gadi jaldi chalao...samjhi gayo?

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Ketki: Shaadi....kiski...?

Saurav: Mmmm...humari...

Ketki: Kya?...Lekin main ...*starts crying*... Lekin mujhse kaun shaadi karega? ..Main toh ...mujhe toh mandap mein dulha chod ke chala ...gaya....tha...

Sourav: *wiping her tears*...acha hua chala gaya...varna meri entry kaise hoti?... Whatever happens .. happens for the good...*bending on his knees*...will you marry me...ammm...now?

Ketki: Tum ho dumbo...Lekin kabhi kabhi sensible baat karte ho ..shaadi.....yahan..abhi...kaise?

*Sourav points his finger to a church*

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*At the adda*

Sapan: Meenakshi Rajvansh aati hi hogi...mai bahar khada rehta hum...tum log inn chillaro ka dhyan rakho re... (telling his chelas)

Abir: Chidh ..chidh..chidh..

Shwet: Abir tum mujhe ched rahe ho...Oh My God..mai bata nahi sakti main...

Abir: Shut up...tumhare pair k aage lighter pada hai...vo do...

Shwet: Unn logo ne daaru pi...tumhe ciggeratte pini hai?

Abir: Bewakoof...lighter chalu karo...apni rassi jalao...kholo rassi ko...

Shwet: Ohhh...*tries to pick up lighter*

*Sapan comes back*

Sapan: Aeeeee..... hoshiyari...bohot ho gayi...ab chodunga nahi kisi ko....points a gun at Shwet...and...

*boom.....*

************End of part 4**************

To be continued...