Mothers must stop treating their sons like they're precious gifts from

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adventurousman

@adventurousman

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 6 years ago

#91

Originally posted by: Anony-mouse

The level of ignorance in this post is appalling? Do you really think cooking and cleaning is all it takes to maintain a clean house? You clearly live in the western hemisphere where you dont have 24/7 dust and must eat prepped or half prepped meals. I would speculate that you are a man but then what do I know.

I dont know anywhere in the subcontinent where you could get away with cleaning a few days a week and not every day? It takes 3+ hours of manual effort every day to clean, mop, dust the house, clean the loos, make beds, put away stuff every day. It takes 1-1.5 hours to cook a proper Indian meal from scratch (which again is a practice in most Indian sub-continent homes). So thats 6 hours just spent in the basics like cooking and cleaning. Your forgot washing, hanging out clothes to dry, folding laundry, gardening, ironing, regular deep cleaning etc. Which would easily be 2+ hours in a day. Add to it Chai, nashta, pickup drop duties for the kids..the homemaker has nary a spare moment to sit down if shes doing all the work herself. Even with lots of domestic help in the subcontinent I find housekeeping one of the most thankless jobs. Its extremely tedious and not appreciated by anyone (as evidenced in your post) unless its not done!

You're just exaggerating like you live in a desert and have to fight dust 😆

I've lived there so I know how it is. You people are complaining that even with maid and cook it's a hard job 👏 and it's done just because women are doing it.

I repeat even if all men were home makers and started complaining like this, I'd smack them. There's nothing to complain about and it doesn't need to be exaggerated!

everyday 3hrs cleaning 😆 my ass!

Edited by adventurousman - 6 years ago

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1140587

Hibernated

Posted: 6 years ago

#92

It seems like the women on this board who are actually married, aren't complaining about their Indian husbands not helping them with household chores, whilst the ones who are not married, are the ones doing all the complaining, attacking and making gross generalisation about Indian men. 😆

It's quite simple, don't get married! it's not that hard.. or marry someone who will share all the responsibilities, what's with the constant whining and generalisations?... let's talk about Indian women, outside of the career-oriented types, the attitude of Indian women is still extremely conservative, go to the interiors of the country, the women expect their husbands to provide for them, if a man can't provide for his wife then he's basically a loser. I know plenty of young educated married women sitting at home with no desire or ambition to work and share financial responsibility.

Edited by Heisenberg17_ - 6 years ago

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566912

Hibernated

Posted: 6 years ago

#93

Originally posted by: angrybread

Arey bhai aakhir kehna kya chahte ho kuch samajh nahi aaya 🤪

Btw my husband , an indian man , is a very good cook and very good father and also very good in his profession...mere mushkil waqt ka sahara ❤️ whenever it gets tough or i want a break then i leave everything on him and he does everything happily . Anyways weekends is his turn from bed tea to night dinner so yeah there are good indian men too who are happy to do house chores 😃

Same here. My husband cooks better than me and he shares cooking 50%. I have never vacuumed after I got married. Every weekend - he does. So many weekends, I wake up to hot piping breakfast.

Yeah, He can't find things on his own. He can't arrange things like I do. but there's fun in those bickering. 😆

We both are working so we both share household work. And this I see in 90% Indian households here in US. in India, they have help for everything. If both are working, get help for all work including cooking.

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angrybread

@angrybread

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

#94

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi

Same here. My husband cooks better than me and he shares cooking 50%. I have never vacuumed after I got married. Every weekend - he does. So many weekends, I wake up to hot piping breakfast.

Yeah, He can't find things on his own. He can't arrange things like I do. but there's fun in those bickering. 😆

We both are working so we both share household work. And this I see in 90% Indian households here in US. in India, they have help for everything. If both are working, get help for all work including cooking.

I totally agree to everything you said and we do the same .

Oh gosh so bold is not the case just with my husband , he can't find things even if it is right in front of his eyes ...he will pick 1st and the last but he will not pick the one in the middle which obviously is the one he is looking for 😆😆 There are things which he does to perfection and i don't and there are other things which i do right and he doesn't and that balances it out perfectly, any other way would have been too boring 😳 I bicker and fight all the time but i just absolutely and totally adore him ❤️

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angrybread

@angrybread

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 6 years ago

#95

Originally posted by: Heisenberg17_
It seems like the women on this board who are actually married, aren't complaining about their Indian husbands not helping them with household chores, whilst the ones who are not married, are the ones doing all the complaining, attacking and making gross generalisation about Indian men. 😆

It's quite simple, don't get married! it's not that hard.. or marry someone who will share all the responsibilities, what's with the constant whining and generalisations?... let's talk about Indian women, outside of the career-oriented types, the attitude of Indian women is still extremely conservative, go to the interiors of the country, the women expect their husbands to provide for them, if a man can't provide for his wife then he's basically a loser. I know plenty of young educated married women sitting at home with no desire or ambition to work and share financial responsibility.

@ bold coming from a small place i have always seen that pressure on boys to study hard , get into a good career or learn a skill or may be start working from a young age so that they can provide for the family ( old parents , wife, children, sister etc ) same way there was a lot of pressure on girls to learn cooking, cleaning, stitching and other household chores .

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Anony-mouse

@Anony-mouse

Navigator

Posted: 6 years ago

#96

Originally posted by: Heisenberg17_
It seems like the women on this board who are actually married, aren't complaining about their Indian husbands not helping them with household chores, whilst the ones who are not married, are the ones doing all the complaining, attacking and making gross generalisation about Indian men. 😆

It's quite simple, don't get married! it's not that hard.. or marry someone who will share all the responsibilities, what's with the constant whining and generalisations?... let's talk about Indian women, outside of the career-oriented types, the attitude of Indian women is still extremely conservative, go to the interiors of the country, the women expect their husbands to provide for them, if a man can't provide for his wife then he's basically a loser. I know plenty of young educated married women sitting at home with no desire or ambition to work and share financial responsibility.

One of the "complainers" - married, with kids, live with ILs in one of the Indian mega metros, with a full time job!

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Anony-mouse

@Anony-mouse

Navigator

Posted: 6 years ago

#97

Originally posted by: angrybread

Perfectly summed up 👏

Thats because most corporate jobs in the Indian context have a working day thats atleast 10-12 hours long add to it 1-2 hours of commute time..there isnt really any time for much else Mon-Fri. Its not about looking down on work, its about figuring out what system works for your family and your needs.

More power to home makers and more power to women who step out to work outside the home

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Anony-mouse

@Anony-mouse

Navigator

Posted: 6 years ago

#98

Originally posted by: adventurousman

You're just exaggerating like you live in a desert and have to fight dust 😆

I've lived there so I know how it is. You people are complaining that even with maid and cook it's a hard job 👏 and it's done just because women are doing it.

I repeat even if all men were home makers and started complaining like this, I'd smack them. There's nothing to complain about and it doesn't need to be exaggerated!

everyday 3hrs cleaning 😆 my ass!

I live in a mega metro in India. I know what I am talking about as I manage my house with support from staff and family and know how much time things take since staff is paid based on the hours they spend on different tasks. On the contrary I feel like you are blowing stuff out of your nether region with no clue of how the real world works!

Husbands can switch off when they come home..unfortunately women usually dont or rather cant! theres some school project for the kid, theres some cupboard to be sorted, theres something that needs repairing, theres some guest that is coming over etc etc. I think its because ours is the first generation thats stepped out to work full time. We dont have enough role models on how responsibilities are split between partners. We have our parents to look upto where the mums were mostly home makers or in job with shortened hours like teaching. Therefore they shouldered bulk of the responsibility at home. I am hoping we set a better benchmark for our children on what true partnership looks like!

I know of couples where the wife works 60+ hours a week, makes 2X what the husband makes and the husband wont even put his plate in the sink- forget helping with chores! In the last 2-3 years of my kids schooling I have noticed theres always at least 1 stay at home/work from home dad in a class of 30. So times are changing even in India. I think most couples weigh the pros and cons of both partners working the hours they do vs what they can afford to pay for child care, housekeeping etc.

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Wicked

@SomeOldUser

Sparkler

+ 8

Posted: 6 years ago

#99

I don't know about you, but the men in my family get no preferential treatment whatsoever. No one cares about our children or wives. When a daughter gets married, she gets all the attention she deserves. The mom and dad go gaga over her and her husband. And if a kid is born, then everyday's a ball!

But when a son gets married, neither he nor his wife gets any attention... even after the birth of their baby. Yes, the basic love exists... But there's not bond or affiliation as such.

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Mothers must stop treating their sons like they're precious gifts from - Page 10

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