Expectations of passion & romance!!!

It's no sin to have desires but it is definitely important to check if the desires are not screwing with the moral compass. Some people may have desires for children, but is it correct? NO (I am reminded of Lolita, where the professor so desired the 12 year old Lolita, that he was willing to do anything to keep her with him, even married her mother to stay close to her, and literally harassed her once her mother was dead, he even blackmailed her with money to keep her with him, until Lolita ran away, only to never return back. Her escaping drove the professor to madness.)

Certain desires are destructive in nature. Whole hedonism is looked down upon because of its explicit focus on the sexual desires & pleasure of fleshes only. Prostitution is looked down upon on for this reason.

Sexual desires are not bad & it's definitely not a sin to be sexually attracted to someone, but it is definitely not normal or right if those desires overpower & conquer your conscience & will. Most of the rape cases (which are not planned), happen because of this, when desire, ego & superiority complex mix up to lead to violate a women's body.

Every new relationship, new romance is exciting. It's the desire to know ever aspect of the person that keeps the excitement going on. But then this fades away with time with how human body's focus shifts from sexual urges & reproduction to stability in relationships. A 30 year old man/woman is likely to give more attention to sexual aspects of a relationship than a 50-60 year old man/woman, who will just look for companion with whom he/she can talk, just talk. (Exceptions are always there)

Every relationship begins with desire to be physically intimate with the partner, have that passion where you feel like the most important & loved person for someone, but all these relationships culminate into the bond of trust, stability, understanding that stays till the death. And building these bonds is a life-long process. And that's why I feel sexual passion is over-rated. Passion has to adapt with time, it's not always about sexual passion for the life-time. It may transform from sexual desires to respect for the partner over time, something Kunal's mom talked about that day. These are little things in a relationship that makes them last till death. In reality, relationships are one hell of a tedious task. Married people in the forum would know about it better than me who is just a witness to marriages in my family.

Nandini keeps on saying about "Pyaar she has been waiting for her whole life", but does she know about "Pyaar she is talking about". Was she really dreaming of a man's love for her whole life & all other forms of love stood NIL for her. She was not sinful in desiring a man who loves her for who she is, accepts her for who she is, understand her, respects her & most importantly brings her respect in the relationship, this is where marriage stands since it brings the joy of celebrating love with dear ones. Love is about all these aspects, it's not just about going on dates daily or have sex or talk romantically with nice words all the time, it goes much deeper.

Same goes for Kunal. The definition of love is so shallow for him. What is love for him? Kunal was sexually attracted to Nandini with that dance which he mistook it as love. It was sexual desires that put a mask of love for him. And with that one thing, he discarded every aspect of his relationship with Mauli, the trust she had in him, the stability she brought in his life, the understanding, the ease with which Kunal could live without having to worry about her constantly, the devotion she brought to him. (There was no burden in that marriage, each of them were still intact of their individuality). With Nandini-Kunal, none of those factors hold true, except that fact that Nandini is truly devoted to Kunal but the trust in not deep enough here & it's clear with how everytime, Kunal spends his time explaining things to her. (This is a tedious task in itself when every time, they have to assure their partner & still the doubt lingers in the minds of certain uncertainties).

For both of these, love holds a very shallow definition. It's all about unrealistic expectations/fantasy of romance that they think will stay forever (the teenage romance), but that's not true. It will fade eventually. Every relationship hits a stalemate phase but it is during this phase only when certain realizations change our life for us. Most of the relationships have been so focused on sexual aspects & then desire to reproduce which are mistaken to be love for centuries. It's more about survival, progeny than the actual feeling of love.

The blindness at this moment for both of these characters that this phase that they are experiencing right now will stay forever, is faulty to the core. But, what happens when this phase is over? What to do when these things that are defining in this relationship at this moment are no longer there in future. What happens when the sexual form of passion fades away or takes a back seat with age, which it will take for sure. (Forms of romance change over years in my opinion). What when we realize this is not the type of love we desired in reality. None of these two know, what they really want. They are just going with the flow without giving a thought to where this path descends in reality.

The sort of love movies, novels or TV shows talk about is rare, unrealistic to the core. Love is a lifelong journey that culminates on death. For most of us, it's a burdened journey since there are times, when we feel the burden of relationships that appear to be suffocating, but can't get out of it for one or the other reasons. It transforms itself into various forms. Marriage is over-rated, TRUE. But it can't be neglected that at certain point of life, it's the marriage that bring certain sense of security, belonging, companionship by the partner. And this feeling doesn't develop in a day or goes in a day. It is one realization that people hit only after having experienced life for real.

@ bold ...👏 👏

@ Arshi_asya...well explained 👍🏼

Since makers are being crude .. i want them to move on and show kunal n nandhini thriving to keep relationship afloat.

really makers need to see your post and show us something digestive.All the kunan romance seems so immature and childish.

So true!

Husband -wife or partners bond starts with passion - desire and ends with bonding in to love...

In our life, we love our parents siblings as they are related to us by blood - even our kids - we give them birth - still first year of baby's life is the main time bonding happens...

The base of relationship can be anything but the real test that any relationship has to give is of "Time". I know its a very small word but the longevity of a relationship and how much time you give to that relationship really matters. Blood relationships are different because we are always connected but marriage is one relationship which requires constant nurturing. Over the course of time it actually becomes an habit and most of us start taking it for granted, so much so that we fail to realize or even recognize that the needs of that relationship has changed. In India, we give so much importance to our family that sometimes we just stop ignoring the very bond that makes that family. In today's world with so many added pressures and exposure that we have to various temptations, it has become a requirement to sometime just take the time with your partner to realize the very essence that makes your relationship with your partner so special. Western world has recognized it and there are actually date nights that are sponsored by school itself. As Zoya said, marriage is as strong bond but at the same time very weak and its the responsibility of both partners to keep making its roots stronger.

If you purely look at Mauli and Kunal from what the CV's has shown us, they had 7 years of marriage. There was a deep understanding there and a special bond but it did not survive the test of time as Kunal's needs changed with time or it was always there but it just never got fulfilled. May be he always wanted to be the stronger person in a relationship but Mauli was and they both failed to recognize it or work on it. He always wanted to be savior in that relationship but because Mauli was so strong that he never got that chance but with Nandini he got that.

I never saw Kunal and Nandini relationship as passion, yes the rain dance was the day he saw her as woman rather than as Mauli's friend but he was connected to her way before that. I think the base of that relationship is being companions in the weakest moment of a human's life like her suicide, abuse, fear of darkness, and their acts of passion have always been a result of a life threatening event. I think their relationship is more of an emotional need rather than physical. But even then any relationship has to go through that understanding phase, knowing each other, gettin tuned to each other and in their case also the knowledge that they have betrayed the person closest to them. In some cases, this knowledge brings the two people closer as its society vs them but in some cases it leads to breakdown of the relationship. Only time will tell what becomes of their relationship and if it will survive the test of time.