Hi friends back with new update .Part 29
R- yeah , I can never understand, until you tell me what exactly is your problem . I m trying to know it from evening but seems you don't want to share it .
He spoke making her look at him while a fresh set of tears made way from her eyes. He scooped her face in his hands and spoke , making her look at him " ishita how I m going to understand if you won't share your problem with me . I won't say that I can solve your every problem ? But at least will try to solve it moreover may be if you share it , you may feel good . Ishita like you had brought me out from my isolation I too wanna help you . "
Ishita looked at him listening to this while sincerity was quite evident from his eyes and every words . She was still thinking. from where to start when Raman spoke "
Try for once may be you would feel good after sharing your problem ".
Ishita downcasted her eyes and asked " do you actually think that you will understand my problem ".
R- may be or may be not , but I can try . Being your husband I have right to know about you .
Ishita looked at him and spoke " you know Raman I can't be a mother ever , mujhe kabhi koi bachcha nahi ho sakta ".
R- humm , you told me that day.
I- what did you felt when I I formed you about my state .
R- I was shocked knowing this , that such a beautiful girl , looking so perfect and happy is hiding so much within .
I- you know ,after my first alliance broke due to this infertility, my Amma saw many boys , she tried every wats to get me married . Everything settles but when they come to know about my medical disability all deny .finally I had decided and also convinced my parents that I will not marry ratger will adopt a kid and will spend my rest of life with her/him but I m so unlucky that the orphanage didn't allowed me to adopt a kid as I was all alone , a single parent. I was so broken after that , has lost all the hopes of living then I got ruhi . She came as sunshine of my life , I started learning living with her , then I got you . You were like Oasis in desert for me , like a traveller get life after drinking the water in oasis , I got the zeal of living my life getting you and ruhi . Marraige is a very big even of a girls life , every girl is excited for that and after knowing that you are accepting me beside knowing my disability, made me happiest. I had already liked you and after knowing that you know everything and still marrying me, made me fall lil more for you .
R- we had already talked about this ishita , I mean everything is going normal , we too are going good in our relationship then suddenly what happened .I mean kuch hua hai Kya, aise achanak.
He asked looking to ishita then spoke recalling " wait a minute , are you still thinking about ruhis demand of baby ".
Ishita nodded making Raman surprised , he spoke looking to her " ishita ruhi is a kid , she can demand anything which she will see new but that doesn't mean we will fulfil all her wishes .She demanded but we denied, that's it, why are you so upset because of it . And we don't need any baby as we have ruhi , you know na our marraige is for her ".
Ishita looked at Raman when he spoke " I agree our relationship has grown up much but actually it was for ruhi . She was the key of our marraige ".
I- that's why I want to fulfil all her wishes as I m afraid that she will go away from me , if I don't fulfil them . Raman my life will be empty if you two will leave me .
R- I don't understand why do you even think that I will leave you . Ishita I don't have any such expectations from you because of which I will leave you .
I- you don't have any expectations from me?
R- no , if I had married you for ruhi then how can I expect something from you . That will be wrong.
Tears started rolling down from her eyes listening to him , she started leaving from there when Raman pulled her to himself in a jerk , she landed on his chest , holding his shoulder, he held her protectively and spoke " I m not able to understand you ishita , or say I m not able to understand what is your actual problem ".
I- I told you na you will not understand my problem .
R- ye bhi koi baat hai ,you are not telling me the reason of your sadness and go on saying I will not understand. Arey bol ke to dekho, may be I can give a solution . Come let's sit , then you tell me .
Saying so both went to couch and settled there . Raman encircled his arms around her and spoke " now tell ".
Ishita remain silent for sometimes when Raman signalled her to speak . She gulped her saliva as if she is gathering courage to say something unusual while Raman looked at her , waiting eagerly to know what she will say when she spoke " I just wanted to live a normal life like a normal woman ".
Raman listened to her and asked " I didn't get you , I mean aren't you living a normal life ".
I- no , my life is not normal. My life never being normal after the news of my disability. All the ladies started calling me bad omen , while boys started coming to me with dirty proposals and now also nothing had changed .
R- what do you mean by that, aren't you living a normal life with us .Neighter I nor ruhi , non of us has any problem with your disability.
I- I agree , you people had given me all love and respect which a woman can get but I m not happy Raman . Main hasti hoon , muskurati hoon that doesn't mean that I m happy . Look at me , I m a married woman but you don't love me , we don't have any husband wife relationship . Ruhi calls me mumma but I can't fulfil her wish , I m a woman but I can't conceive. I won't be able to carry a baby in me , I won't be able to see the happiness on your face which appears on a man's face when his wife broke the news that she is pregnant. I won't be able to get those care and pampering of husband which a pregnant lady gets , I won't be able to feel the movement of baby in my tummy .Raman main wo sab kabhi bhi feel nahi kar paaungi , jo ki ek pregnant woman feel karti hai . How incomplete I m and you know what is the worst , how much I try , I can't complete myself ever . What if one day you two also leave me, getting disappointed with me . Then what I will do ?
Saying so she started crying a loud while Raman was confused thinking how to console her . He just pulled her to himself and caressed her back to sooth her but today she wanted to cry all her sorrow out. After a while he thought to talk to her , thinking so he pulled her from himself and found she has slept . He picked her in his arms and took her to bed.He lays her in the bed gently and looked at her sleeping figure,settling beside her .Raman caressed her hairs lovingly and thought " I was relieved thinking that I got a perfect mother for my daughter thinking she won't be a mother ever as she is barren but never thought from ishita's point of view . I had never thought that a woman who is raoming happily around me , taking best care of my baby as mother is hiding so much pain with in her . I m so sorry ishita I was being so selfish never thought about your feelings ever . Bahut sah liya tumne but not now .from now i will try to give all the happiness to you , even will talk to doctor about your disabilty , may be we get some way to fulfill your wishes ."
He promised ishita and went to sleep after dropping a feathery kiss on ishru forehead, he lays on his place , closed his eyes to sleep but ishita's words were echoing in his mind .
That's all for now , hope you like it . Enjoy reading and do comment.
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