So, I am hopefully back with another one, I started off something else but left it on hold to write this one. This is about the current track, especially the past two episodes. I liked the precap yesterday, and before today's episode airs, I want to write something on that. I loved the light-heartedness between Ritwik and Palak after an excruciatingly angst filled sequence. And, I hope they maintain that I am done with the seriousness.
Here it goes.
P.S. I had intended to write something light and easy, but this is pretty off that tangent, it is serious stuff, sadly.
OS The Aftermath of the Storm
Palak could not sleep the entire night. She kept replaying Ritwik's words in her head, correction, she did not even attempt. It was as if she had lost control over her mind, and her mind was working on its own, constantly pondering over the dramatic confession, the angst, the emotion in Ritwik's eyes, she wasn't sure if she saw earnestness in his eyes. Yet, there was something that did not seem feigned to her. Was he serious? Did he mean it? If he hadn't meant it, why had he told her he was in love with her? Or did he think he was in love with her, and he wasn't in actuality, feeling those things he claimed he was?
She wanted to cry, she was on the verge of tears that things were so crazily messed up. Sethu was still missing, she had no idea where she was. She had no clue how to find her. She had misled Ritwik into thinking that Ananya's father had kidnapped her. God, how wrong she was! And he had believed her! He had even spoken to his father about it. How much he had trusted her, and how she had failed him and herself for wrongly accusing someone innocent.
She had indirectly, maligned Mr. Puri. He was in no way a Gandhi or a Harishchandra however, even he didn't deserve to be falsely blamed for something as grotesque as kidnapping a girl. Ananya had been so badly insulted! But, no. She wasn't ready to take responsibility for her defamation, Ritwik was solely liable for that. At the moment, she had apologized to her for being an inadvertent cause for the hurt she had been caused, and which was true, she didn't feel guilty for what happened with her. Palak would have sympathized with Ananya for her state, however, she was busy in sympathizing with herself for her state of mind. She was obviously painted as a gold-digger before both the families, some hundred odd people knew what had happened, and word would get around.
She had been in an emotional wreck the past few days since she was back from Mumbai. No, she had not had some peaceful closure since the fallout with Ritwik those long months ago. How she wished things had gone back to when Ritwik was angry with her and wouldn't speak to her!
At the least, she had it in her, to hold him responsible for his inappropriate behaviour and could put him past her and get on with her work. Definitely, things were not amazing then. But they were infinitely better than what they were today. In fact, life was amazing sans Ritwik Noon in it. How she wanted to rewind the past year, almost a year, of her life when she hadn't known a man like him. People were right. Bade logon ki Badi baatein. Things she could not understand or relate to when they happened to others were happening to her today and she had no goddamn idea how to deal with them.
Oh. My. Frigging. God. Rewind the past two days! She had fervently wished for the weddings to happen so she could go back to her life and mope in peace that Ritwik had got married. Why was she moping! What was going on! She lay on the bed, covering her head with a pillow, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand, willing everything to become alright when she woke up in the morning. If things could just become normal...
Look what it had come to. She, Palak, had had a pretty normal, happy life, a good job, no major issues in life, going on with her routine with no qualms. And one day, Ritwik Noon decided to walk into her life; Nah, storm into her life like a tornado, upsetting everything, destroying every puny thing before his force and sheer presence.
She had become so putty in his hands, that he had practically dictated every happening in her life the past few months and she hadn't even realized.
Her job, her family, her decision to move to Mumbai, were somehow all connected to him. Every event in her life could be traced back to Ritwik, and she didn't like it one bit.
Palak crushed the pillow in her hand, imagining it was Ritwik she was beating up for his presence in her life that had ruined everything.
And, then again, her thoughts went back to the confession, how he had told her he was in love with her and he didn't care about anything else. And, how Ananya had asked her to decide whether she was in love with him or not.
Was she in love with Ritwik? Or was she not? Why had she felt so miserable about seeing him with Ananya? Why had she felt that uneasiness in her that he was marrying someone? She had never once considered being in love with him yet she had failed to justify her uneasiness, her misery, her anger, and frustration. Why had she not done that before?
As her thoughts drifted from one hopeless topic to another, they kept going back to the confession and slowly, they focused on Ritwik's words that he had left her with, maybe, just maybe, if the same words had been uttered in a different setting, without all the other baggage surrounding them, without the people, without Sethu's kidnapping, without his impending wedding, without any of the pathetic incidents of the past few days, her reaction, may have been slightly different. She still wasn't sure of her response.
Was she in love with him? How would it be to spend all her life with an enigma of a man who failed to make sense to her yet was perhaps the most sensible man she had met. Who was she kidding? Sensible? Ritwik Noon was everything but sensible. But, he was practical and mature and measured. What was wrong with her, that she was trying to gauge him so much? Maybe she was already dead and dying again in hell that she couldn't rid herself of Ritwik even in her thoughts.
Her eyes were already closed, her thoughts oscillating from one disturbing thought to another as she fell into an uncomfortably deep slumber.
Ritwik's eyes had lost all sleep since he had uttered those ill-fated words to Palak that evening. After talking to his Mom, he was calmer than before. Still, sleep evaded him. It was all so messy. But, he reined his mind in check, he trusted his Mother. She had assured him she would fix everything, and when his Mom said anything like that in that reassuring tone of hers, he knew he could bank on her blindfolded.
He wondered what had happened, and how all of this started. He couldn't place his finger on any single day or moment when he had fallen in love with Palak. He figured that wasn't possible. But somehow, things had been different with her right from the beginning. She was the first person, let alone a woman, to have rubbed him the wrong way, almost beaten him at his game. And, very soon, had she become good friends with him. Ritwik, never volunteered to make many friends, he was happy with his small circle of trustworthy friends, yet Palak, whom he had only known for a few months, had come as close to him as his best friends were. Ananya was very close to him, he cared for her like anything, but he had known her since childhood. Things with Ananya were different, with Palak, very different. In the recent past, he hadn't made one single female friend who was half as close to him as Ananya was. But, Palak was probably that one person who had become that close quantitatively. On a descriptive note, Palak was probably still closer to him because he had developed something more than platonic, for her.
He remembered now and could relate that, even during Reeva's wedding, amidst all his family and guests, he had looked out for Palak, enjoyed her company, the witty banter they had had. The fact that she had a comeback to everything he said, she was sassy yet endearing only strengthened his now realized feelings. He hadn't given much thought to justify his feelings for her, but now he could. And, how could he forget that, she was still the only person outside his family, that he trusted? He had even admitted so! And, this was long before the kiss or those awkward conversations they had had. It hit him that he'd felt something off, only after the kiss, however, the kiss hadn't been the beginning. All of the events that had led to this event in the first place were perhaps the reason why he was here today. The kiss was significant because it marked a definitive emotion to his fleeting thoughts.
How easily he had felt betrayed that Palak had not told him about Samar! He had been furious that after having trusted her, she had dared do that. She out of everyone he knew, should not have done that. His anger hadn't subsided even after three months, and how much he had let his anger towards Palak last. Back then, he hadn't given love or even friendship any thought, but it was quite possible that faint, stray feelings had already been there, then. He had just been too angry to realize that.
And the realization that she wasn't a gold-digger he had painted her to be, should have relieved him. But, it didn't. It put him into a further confusion that she wasn't wrong anymore, he still trusted her, and she was helping him in fixing up the mess he had created in his best friend's life. Now, he recollected that he had wanted to be with her, spend time with her, wanted to talk to her on random stuff, drag her into unnecessary squabbles. In all probability, within him, he had already chosen, he had had his pick of choice. Choosing to spend his time with Palak over others had been a deliberate decision, choosing to go over to her and sit with her was a conscious decision, not at all inadvertent. He had consciously felt happy seeing her smile and had wanted to do anything to make her happy because she was his friend.
The entire episode of bringing back Rohit and Sethu had had him pondering over Palak, and now, he felt, that that was a realized awkwardness between them. There had been no awkwardness between them earlier, they had joked about his marriage to Ananya, and not once had Palak winced. The three-month separation filled with angst, anger, hurt, betrayal had intensified the rapport between them, infused more feeling into a bond that had already existed between them.
Now when his thoughts went back to the episode, he could gauge a difference in Palak's behaviour as well, even she had enhanced the awkwardness between them, she hadn't tried to diffuse the situation with her light-heartedness. It was quite possible she felt something similar too.
And, there Ritwik's thoughts about Palak's feelings stopped there, as he continued to wonder about other things. Our protagonist here isn't someone who is unsure of a woman's feelings for him. Even love cannot change the very constitution of a player, in that, that his self-assurance is extremely high. He had possibly taken it as done, that Palak would reciprocate his feelings, or she already did, and in that, was he, not right? Oh, he most definitely was. But, I applaud the man who is so sure of a woman's feelings that he does not bother to doubt even for a second.
The kiss had sealed the confusion and given rise to the confusing realization that things were not as simple as they seemed. Ritwik's thoughts wore him out, as he decided to deal with everything tomorrow and get some sleep as well as some energy. Slowly, he was getting back to his original carefree self. Love doesn't make a man serious, only uncertainty does. Love frees men to do as they please and he was going to do just that.
The End
Find my previous OS here
OS: An Interview with Rajeev Masand
OS - An Entertaining Flight Journey
I think I haven't mentioned anything about the kiss in Palak's thoughts, but rest assured, she did think of everything. I genuinely wanted to write something light, but I guess, that is for later. Till then! Also, for those who read my first story, I apologize for the punctuation mistakes. I guess IF has issues with double inverted commas used for quotations. I will fix them ASAP.
Naj
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
