Definition of Maan, maryada, sanskaar, parampara...

Maan, maryada, sanskaar, and parampara are talked about a lot in this show...

obviously these terms r very subjective and its definition, its variant and the leniency from its rules vary from household to household..

obviously agar meri family Aggarwals jitni strict hoti to I would not have done love cum arranged marriage.. 😆

and obviously agar meri family ne mujhe thode bhi kam sanskaar, maryada aur maan sikhaya hote to main aaj mere hubby he ghar ki bahu nahi hoti.. aur naa hi vo log apni bahu ke itne gun gaan gaate... 😆

so no sanskaar and maan maryada r not essentially opposite of falling in love ..

and going out on dates, movie, romancing cannot equate to characterlessness.. 😆

there is fine line tht the conservative family cannot understand.. for not being prejudiced I would say, for them the parampara and ghar ki izzat (the so called social status) stands above the sanskaars and maan maryada they teach to their kids..

no I m not being judgemental here but pressure was just too heavy for a girl coming from such a conservative household, restrictions so much.. tht thy not just limit their physical freedom but thy also become mentally shackled in an invisible chain that they cannot break free... so i love Naina and Preeti's characters thy r so much dutiful and obedient girls and yet thy r so much mentally independent and free...

But I can understand the situation of conservative girls.. coz my sister in law could never approach a boy she liked in her college.. jst bcoz she didn't have guts, and she had to upheld the burden of this so called maan maryaada and sanskaar of her family... its an irony tht I married her brother in a love cum arranged marriage.. if only she could've guts to ask for help from her brother..

but these restrictions definitely made her weak, so much so that after multiple rejections at arranged marriage proposals, she lost her self confidence.. an otherwise bright and promising girl was lost in the marriage market coz she didn't live up to expectations of general bride-seeking families or boy..

the reason was simple... she was too simple, boring, unfashionable, conservative, and not so good looking and smart for today's fast forward boys.. in fact her now husband had rejected her jst a week before the mrg, but was forced to marry her when my mom in law put up a strong fight for her daughter's cause.. things were obviously not smooth running for her after that.. and things reached to the point of divorce jst after a year and having a kid in jst a year into mrg..

but she being the conservative she.. and our family being the conservative family.. and my mom in law being against the divorce in spite of being so forward thinking otherwise led her to not getting divorced after having a kid with the man..

now knowing the man for so many years I can say tht he per se is not a bad person.. in fact he has earned a great deal of respect in our family by his deeds over the years.. it was just tht they didn't match.. she was not the ideal wife he was looking for or had impression about her initially when the mrg got fixed (as happens in arranged marriages)

but yes it took many years for thm to realize each other's worth.. and thnks to our Indian family sanskars.. abandoning a wife and kid is still not considered very dignified for a man in our society.. and so now thy r very much settled and are just too busy in their domestic hassled filled life and too old to consider other options... 😆 .. so yeah, thy compromised and r immensely happy and content after first bitter 5 years of their married life..

but yeah the question remains.. what the elders might consider as rule breaking is not essentially the same for youngsters..

Naina's belief abt sanskars and love were always clear.. she never considered any step taken for love as against her maryada aur sanskars.. having proclaimed her life partner.. she is also not against hand holding or taking their rship forward.. regarding the rules tht she broke, she still did it within the limits of her so called family ki parampara.. (which is essentially different from her sanskars)

Hence she is not feeling guilty abt having lied to chacha-chachi or having their trust broken.. bcoz she knows she is right.. and she knows after understanding her POV her chacha-chachi will support her..

and we all know.. as the VO said.. they all, chacha-chachi and them, laughed abt it looking back at these incidents..

so obviously Samaina did earn their trust..

so all in all the point that I m trying to make is one should not limit oneself on touchstones of definitions of Sanskars and maryaad laid down on us by our elders.. we should question them, reason them, and if need, rebel, revolt, and change them.. 😆

one's judgement is best for oneself and one should stick to what one believes and what their conscience says.. 😳

Waise the real test of our belief system and so called sanskars come when need to b an setting example for our kids or younger siblings.. 😆

if we can teach our kids truthfully our value system, thn we must know that we did something right in our lives so far... in spite of rebelling, revolting, and breaking the rules umpteen times..😆

Interesting post, Violette 😊

In general, unfortunately, the onus is always on girls and women to honour Maan, maryada, sanskaar, and parampara. In the context of this show too, we have heard infinite number of times, girls being warned about how they need to be within the framework on these parameters and then the final threat of haath peele karne hangs like Damocles sword on them!!

Taiji heard the cross-connection phone convo, and typical to the societal conditioning she immediately started censuring Shefali. What would be the reaction of SS and Taiji when it is revealed that it is Arjun?? Will he be let off and the blame will be placed on Shefali as she is the one who led the bhola bhala Arjun astray?? Or Arjun will also be held equally guilty??

Very nice and thought provoking post. As you said these terms are very relative. Something which one person considers as paap or crime other may not. So yes falling in love may not be asanskari for Naina but it is asanskaari for Taiji.

Very nice post

Originally posted by: umam

Interesting post, Violette😊

In general, unfortunately, the onus is always on girls and
women to honour Maan, maryada, sanskaar, and parampara. In the context of this
show too, we have heard infinite number of times, girls being warned about how
they need to be within the framework on these parameters and then the final
threat of haath peele karne hangs like Damocles sword on them!!

Taiji heard the cross-connection phone convo, and typical to
the societal conditioning she immediately started censuring Shefali. What would
be the reaction of SS and Taiji when it is revealed that it is Arjun?? Will he be
let off and the blame will be placed on Shefali as she is the one who led the bhola bhala Arjun
astray?? Or Arjun will also be held equally guilty??

yes.. the so called family honor lied on the heads on ladies of the house.. in tht respect, I dbt Arjun wud ever b questioned.. or censured.. the blame will fall upon the bold and beautiful Shefali for leading Arjun..

Arjun being the opposite of PreNa that he is, will quietly marry the girl of his father's choice.. and curse Samaina for life time for being bold and courageous enuf to stand for their love.. from here, I see a bitter and jealous Arjun.. hence we see he is not in good talking terms with his sister.. pity, coz I loved this brother-sister bond.. tho Arjun never deserved a sister like Naina.. I was happy for the fact tht Naina had a sibling to love her..

but anyways.. yes.. I m also eager to see how CVs will handle this ShefJun revelation.. now that we have seen their reaction on SwaMun getting caught.. It wud b really interesting how the dynamics change from ShefJun revelation to Samaina revelation.. coz with every revelation our love birds r gonna learn how to safe guard themselves and stand up strongly for their love.. 😛

so I actually like how CVs have taken this revelations plot forward.. 😳

Originally posted by: priya_nka_yudkb

Very nice and thought provoking post. As you said these terms are very relative. Something which one person considers as paap or crime other may not. So yes falling in love may not be asanskari for Naina but it is asanskaari for Taiji.

Great to see how we all are able to see such things in our personal life and draw a parallel.

On divorce point, I think these days everyone have a lot of expectations from our life partners. We want them to be matching 10/10 and are not ready to accept any faults which is why a lot of such thing like not compatible or we do not match etc are cited as reasons for speration.

The movies and serials also play a big role in setting this expectations by showing larger than life characters on screen.

Good that our show doesn't have any such character.

In fact I would like Naina-Sameer relationship to question Taiji's so called sanskar's and Safari Suits too. thts I m more eagar for ShefJun's revealation . Safari suit always laid restrictions on both his kids, he literally dictated Arjun.. as he was under his wing.. thankfully Naina had an broadminded chachaji.. and that's why Naina is what she is today.

so hopefully.. thy will indirectly question the Taiji's and SAfari Suits of the society with ShefJun and Samaina revealations..

regarding divorce, jahan pyaar bharosa aur respect hota hai wahan adjustment apne aap hoti hai.. thts what I believe .. arrange ho ya love.. compatible ho ya incompatible.. expectations ho ya na ho..

which r the key ingredients missing in today's superficial relationships.. thts y divorce .. in facts break ups r more common thn divorce.. and moving on from these also has become so easy.. which wasn't the case in bygone era. 😳

in fact, thy will show Pooja di's husband having a heart change and valuing the naivity of Pooja di. Chachaji would never let the divorce happen.

bt I really don't like mami and bittu di. Thy r nt strong author-backed characters like Taiji, tauji, chacha-chachi aur even Shefali.. hence I raeally dbt their usefulness in SAmaina story..

I wish thy r gone sooner.. Sam's immediate family needs to return.. and yes I want dadi too.. jst so that we can see some Preeti-Dadi and o-bai-Dadii tussle.. 😆

Originally posted by: -Wishes-

Very nice post

Loved reading it

But in the show when everyone comes to know of samaina, she will be lectured about being asanskari and about family reputation

Keep the tissue box ready

in fact mujhe nahi lagta aisa kuch hoga.. Sameer-Naina r gradually growing into that ideal couple of 90s jo pyaar ke saath saath apni responsibilities bhi samjhte the..

so I think thy will sail thru these things without getting blamed much abt anything.. 😳 😳

Nice post violette.

Originally posted by: jasw

Nice post violette.

I think it is very difficult to change the mindset of our elders who are conservative and lay great emphasis on Maan, Maryada, Sanskar and Paramapara. These things are ingrained in their characteristics. Time, patience, perseverance and lot of effort is required to make them see your point of view and allow little leniency. They say nah Where there is a will there is a way. We took almost 5 years to work around the MMSP of our elders and finally got married. Personally I think little doses of MMSP is fine.. it has its own benefits but when it becomes absolutely rigid then it suffocates.

lucky it just took you 5.. it took us 7..

See all those conservative but loving and caring and concerned parents did definitely change with time.. thy saw how things around thm changed. .how ppl changed.. and thy learned to value the realness of ppl.. thts what happened with my FIL and his conservative relatives.. aaj haal ye hai.. ke jo jo relatives apne maan maryada aur khandaan ki duhai dete the.. vo kahin munh dikhane layak nahi rahe.. aur jiske action pe question mark kiya ja raha tha.. unhi ka example diya jata hai... 😆 irony...

so yes.. no one teaches better than time! And knowledge.

I think value system r foundation of a solid family system.. and should b upheld in right degree and in right context. An excess or extreme of anything is harmful and one template cannot suit all situations needs to b known.

but still I cannot get ppl when thy force their ladies to wear ghumta as a sign of respect to elders.. jab ki usi ghumte ke piche se kitna curse karte honge unko... 😆 😆