Chapter 4:
Neil's POV
When I stepped into the room, my eyes fell on Avni. She looked so small in the rocking chair. Her neck was crooked and her hair fell over her eyes. The strain was apparent nonetheless. I should have been there for her.
I should have been there for both of them.
I turned my head and really looked at my son.
His small body was curled into a ball as he slept on. His left hand had a number of tubes going in his body. There was an IV drip and a heart rate machine, and other machines I didn't know about. All I knew was that they shouldn't be attached to such a small person.
I stepped closer to the bed.
I took in the black straight hair; something he definitely got from Avni. I remember running my hands through her hair and taking such pleasure of feeling the soft strands cascading through my fingers. Dark eyebrows were set above closed eyes and I wondered if he had my eyes or hers. His nose was straight and pointed like mine. Rosebud like lips were pink in the middle and whiteish on the sides, because of his illness.
Small hands were curled around a worn out brown bunny. I smiled softly at him. I reached out with trembling fingers to touch him. It felt like a dream that this boy was mine. Mine and Avni's.
I pushed the black hair away from his forehead gently. It felt the same as Avni's.
He shifted and I pulled my fingers away. " No," he said as small eyes opened and looked at me.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"No stop," he said again. His eyes were piercing; though the darkness of the room didn't allow me to see the colour of his orbs.
"Who's it?" He asked as he peered at me, as I started to play with his hair again.
"I'm your..." I stopped. " I'm your mama's friend."
He nodded trustingly. "I'm Neil," I added after a few minutes.
"Ikhil," he said; voice small and he made me smile.
"Very nice to meet you, Nikhil," I said as I leaned down and kissed a small palm. "Why don't you get some sleep, hm?"
"Tired..."
"You're tired and you want to sleep?" I asked.
He shook his head. I was confused. " Are you tired of sleeping?" I asked.
He nodded. Neela Ma had said he's been in the hospital since Friday. Nikhil must have been confined to this bed since then. I didn't know much about children, but I knew they weren't meant to be stuck in a bed for days.
"I'm sorry," I said; meaning those two words so deeply. " I can tell you a story if you want?" I offered. I didn't really know any stories. Except for merger reports and other financial reports, I didn't read much. Not anymore.
Nikhil cocked his head to the side and watched me seriously before nodding. " Bunny?" He asked as he tightened his hold on the ratty bunny.
"Uhm.. Yeah, I think I know one with a bunny," I fibbed. I racked my brains and started narrating. Halfway through the story, I noticed a shift in the room. Looking up, I noticed Avni's eyes on me. I felt my face flush in embarrassment. Thank god for the dim lights in the room.
She shifted and tucked her legs underneath herself but did not interrupt me. Nikhil's eyes were drooping and I continued.
When he fell asleep, I looked at her again. She didn't say anything so I interrupted the silence, " I didn't know about him," I whispered. She looked away from me, " I want to be here..."
"For you. For him."
"Go home, Neil," she said instead; her voice was thick with an indescribable emotion. " Don't make this harder than it already is."
"I'm not going home. I want to help you guys through this..." "I won't change my mind, Avni," I said as I stood up. Removing Nikhil's small hand from mine, I leaned down to kiss his forehead.
"Get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow," I said before I left the room.
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Dropping my duffle bag on the floor of the room Dad had rented for me, I let myself fall on the bed. I scrubbed my face with my hands. My life had taken a 360 turn and I felt like crying.
On the one hand, I met Avni after 3 years. I found out we have a child together. On the other hand, we both had to deal with the news that our son had leukaemia. I didn't have any clue as to what stage of cancer it was, what Nikhil's prognosis was, what was the course of treatment? What was the success rate? How long was Nikhil bound to this bed and this hospital? Will he ever get the chance to be a normal child? Will I ever be able to get to hold him without any tubes getting in the way? Will I even get to see him grow up?
Grabbing my laptop from my bag, I started doing some research.
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It was 10am, when dad knocked on my bedroom door.
"Well, you look terrible. Did you sleep at all?" he asked as he looked me up and down. I was still clad in my clothes from yesterday.
I shook my head in denial, " I was doing some research," I explained.
"All night?" He asked as he looked at me.
I nodded. " I've been thinking of taking some time off from work," I added, " I want to stay in Delhi and be with them."
Dad nodded, " I knew you would. You can work remotely if you want. But, you are also allowed to take time off for your son."
I nodded. "Did you know?" I asked.
" About Avni being pregnant?" He asked. When I nodded, he replied that he did not.
"Mom knew..." I said. I believed Neela Ma. I knew Avni must have driven all the way to Mumbai to tell me about the pregnancy.
Dad shrugged. He neither confirmed it nor did he deny it. We both knew how far she could go in order to get her way. Did she hide the fact that Avni was carrying my child so I could go ahead with the wedding?
I sighed. " I don't want mom knowing anything about my life..." I said.
The harsh tone of my voice made Papa look up at me. I instantly felt bad, " I mean, I don't want mom knowing the reason as to why I'm staying in Delhi, I don't want her to know that I've met Avni again, and definitely do not want her anywhere near my son."
"Neil, don't you think you're being a little harsh?"
"No, I don't. I haven't known about the existence of my son for the last three years. I did not get to be with the woman I love for years because of her. I didn't even get to hold my child when he was born. And now when I finally met him, I might end up losing him. So, no. I'm not being harsh."
"Neil..." sighed Dad.
"No, papa. I'm not budging on this."
We were quiet for a few minutes with him watching me and me trying to normalize my breath. "I'll go freshen up. I want to speak with Nikhil's oncologist."
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It was before visiting time when I finished my meeting with Dr. Batra, Nikkhil's oncologist. When I introduced myself as Nikhil's father, he was surprised, and hadn't believed me. Avni had never mentioned Nikhil's father, she had never mentioned me being in the picture. I gave him some background into our situation. He cross referenced my identity with the name provided on Nikhil's birth certificate. Turned out that Avni had identified me as his father at his birth.
I was walking towards Room 805 when a nurse stopped me to tell me that visiting hours had not started yet.
"I'm a parent," I said.
"You need to wear the designated badge," I blinked owlishly at her, " the badge you were given by the nurse when your child was admitted?"
I shrugged lethargically, " I flew in yesterday morning. I don't know..."
"Follow me," she snapped as she glared at me reproachingly.
"Name of child? Room number? ID..."
"Nikhil Parikh. Room 805," and I handed her my driver's license.
She frowned at me. " Your last name is Khanna..."
"I know," I snapped at the incessant question.
"Different from your son?"
"His mother remarried..." I lied.
She rolled her eyes at me, " I need to confirm with his mother then. I can't just give you a parent badge."
"Fine," I said as I raised my hand, indicating that I gave up.
She called the room. "Hello Ma'am. I have a Neil Khanna. He says he's Nikhil's father? Okay, Ms. Parikh."
She typed in the information Avni had given her before she printed the bracelet. "You know lying is bad right?" She asked me as she raised her eyebrow at me.
"Listen," I said losing my patience, "Nurse Sharma... I'm not here to listen to your lessons in morality, okay? "
"I can call the police and have you investigated, Mr. Khanna," she snapped at me, " You're a random stranger, walking down the halls of a paediatric ward off visiting hours. You could be a kidnapper for all I know..."
I sighed, " I'm sorry. You're right. I didn't mean to snap at you. There's a lot going on. I appreciate you looking out for my son."
"How did you know I lied?" I asked after a moment.
"Avni Parikh. There's not much that the staff working at Parikh Peadiatric Ward doesn't know about the Parikh family. They're good people..."
I nodded. " I know. He really is my son."
"I know. Good luck, Mr. Khanna," she said with a sympathetic smile as she placed the bracelet on my wrist.
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"Done terrifying the staff?"asked Avni when I entered the room. She was perched on Nikhil's bed as the latter cuddled into her side and watched cartoons.
I felt my heart expand tenfold at the sight they made. They were all I had wished for over the last 3 years. I know I didn't know about Nikhil's existence but I had prayed for him.
" I didn't terrify anyone," I said as I approached the bed slowly.
Avni scoffed, " Please. You were terrifying in college. I can only imagine what your experience in the police force must have brought to the table."
I stared at her. She remembered.
"I'm not a police officer," I said softly. She looked at me again; her eyes wide with surprise.
"Oh."
When she didn't ask, I volunteered that I was working for my dad's business.
"Huh," she said and looked back at the TV.
When the jingle for a commercial came on TV, Nikhil finally snapped out of it and looked at me. My eyes, I thought as I looked at his light brown eyes, with the long lashes. I smiled at him. I didn't think I could love someone I had just met so much, but here he was.
"Hey buddy. How're you feeling?"
"Good," he replied with a small shy smile before he buried his face in Avni's arm.
I sat down at the foot of the bed. " I met with Dr. Batra this morning."
"What? You had no right..."
"As his biological father, yes, I do."
"He never asked for my permission..." she cried as she glared at me.
" He didn't have to. My name is on his birth certificate," I replied. Her face was frozen in shock. Shock that melted away when I added a soft "Thank you."
Her face flushed and I had to dig my nails into my palms to stop myself from caressing that blush like I used to.
I cleared my throat.
"This doesn't change anything," she said; her voice cold and eyes void of any emotions when she looked at me again. " He's mine."
"And mine," I added simply. There was no room for discussion.
"I'm not taking him away from you, Avni," I added when her eyes flashed dangerously at me.
"Damn right, you're not."
" I will be in his life though. But, we can decide all of that after he's in remission."
She blinked at me. She swallowed. Her eyes filled up with tears, " You think he'll make it?"
F**k. This woman still made me feel a dozen emotions. She could frustrate me like no other, she could infuriate me like no other, she could make me want to protect her like no other, she could make me want to kiss the life out of her like no other.
I wanted to gather her in my arms and shield her from anything the world threw in her way. But, I couldn't. Not anymore.
"He'll make it. He's our son. He's got to make it," I said with a certainty that I didn't feel. But, Avni needed to hear it.
Her smile was shaky. She looked down at Nikhil, who had gone back to his cartoons. She pressed a small kiss in his silky hair, and made me fall in love with her even more.
My Avni. My Nikhil. Mine.
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Author's Note:
Sorry, this took so long everyone. Real life took over.
But, I will be finishing the story on this forum. I have finished writing the story. All 12 chapters will be posted on the forum. Please keep checking in every so often :)
Cheers,
NLisa.
Edited by nlisa - 7 years ago
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