UnknownJhalli thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#1
Hii everyone I have written a poem . It is based on the present scenario and represent Sameer's present feelings for Naina.
I know it is not that good but I have tried my level best while writing it.
So here it is...

Tujhse door raha nhi jaata
Hazaar koshishein karne k baad bhi
Mera dil mujhe teri or hi kheech lata h...

Dil pe patthar rakhke jo main yeh kar rha hoon
Koi mujhse pooche main har roz hazaar mautein mar rha hoon

Maaf krna meri jaan
Tujhse kitna pyaar h tujhe akhiri baar bta bhi na paaunga
Tu rehna khush
Tere bina to main muskura bhi na paaunga...

Tune toh bas mujhe khushi dii h
Maine tujhe bas aahsuon ki vajah dii h
Jaate jaate bhi bas gham dunga tujhe,
Par mujhe patthar na samajhna
Kyunki,
Palke toh yha meri bhi bheegi h...

Par dooriyan kitni bhi aa jaayein,
Tu hi meri pehli mohabbat h
Aur tu hi aakhiri hogi
Tu hi meri ek-lauti khwahish h
Jo kabhi na poori hogi
Bas gham yhi h,
Ki hamari prem kahani hamesha adhoori hogi...
Adhoori hogi ...
Adhoori hogi...
Adhoori hogi...
****
That's all for now friends
Plz do comment and tell me how do you all find it.
Waiting for your response😳
With lots of love
Aishwarya😳



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PehliDafaHai thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#2
Hey Aish dear!
This is so beautiful and the language adds more beauty to it ā¤ļø
The second and fourth stanza is so nice to read, coming from his point of view😳
Thank you for the beautiful treat!
Keep coming with more.
Love,
Shreya
Edited by Mayashika - 7 years ago
UnknownJhalli thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: Mayashika

Hey Aish dear!

This is so beautiful and the language adds more beauty to it ā¤ļø
The second and fourth stanza is so nice to read, coming from his point of view😳
Thank you for the beautiful treat!
Keep coming with more.
Love,
Shreya

Thank you so much dear 😊 your feedback really means a lot to me šŸ¤—a big hug for you
Again thank you so much
Lots of love to you
JaySee thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#4
Hi Aiswarya, beautiful poem. Really heart touching lines. Keep it up.
suhaaniladki thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#5
The poem is so beautiful and heart touching ... Kya yaar why dont sameer understand pyaar chod k bhagne mei nai hai balki har musibat mei uske sath firmly khade rehne mei hai ...
chaaru26 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#6
This is so beautiful šŸ‘
It perfectly matches with the current situation and Sameer's feeling.
Do write more.
Ross11 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#7
Amazing Poem!šŸ‘
loved this line very much šŸ‘šŸ¼
Koi mujhse pooche main har roz hazaar mautein mar rha hoon
Samainadeewani thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#8
Hayye ..meri behna rula dia mujhe ..
I already know about your superb writing skills ..glad you came up with the post and let your poem and thoughts behind it be heard ..
The poem was " perfect " ..it really suited sameer's present condition ..all broken , shattered
I've already read it twice and now going to read again
This poem of yours is mirror of Sameer's lonely self ..
Now I'm waiting to this track to come to an end ..and honestly Sameer disserves another tight slap by my hero munna and a lecture by Naina ..
I'm sooo proud of you my girl ..keep up the good work

Suggestions - utilize your free time ..bol bol ke thak gai
Write something on my samaina
Waiting to Read more from you ( poems as well as stories )
I hope you will soon come up with something
Lastly you deserve a pat on your back for this my little sister

Love
Laalchi reader

UnknownJhalli thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: JaySee

Hi Aiswarya, beautiful poem. Really heart touching lines. Keep it up.

Thank you so much Jayshree di😊
Lots of love for you
UnknownJhalli thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: suhaaniladki

The poem is so beautiful and heart touching ... Kya yaar why dont sameer understand pyaar chod k bhagne mei nai hai balki har musibat mei uske sath firmly khade rehne mei hai ...

Thank you so much dearšŸ˜›
Yes Sameer needs to understand that...
Don't worry Naina and Mundit will make him understand

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