Chapter 31
Skeletons In The Closet
Who of us can say that we've left
Nothing behind?
All hidden away, nothing to find?
Left in closets that no one can see,
And has it really left you free?
No one knows what they are, save you.
And you can keep them out of view.
Or can you?
Maybe they're acts from long ago
That you don't want anyone to know.
Or maybe they're secret desires
You've had,
That if ever known would make you look bad.
Whatever they are, they don't go away.
They shake. They rattle and start to decay
Like skeletal bones, long overdue
To be ashes, rid of, finally through.
And so the closets filled with these
Are the reminders that never go.
They stick around like glue to you,
Those skeletons that you know.
~ Life is not about who's real to your face. It's about who's real behind your back. ~
My loving daughter Khushi, as I count my last days in this small hospital room, yearning for a glimpse of your face, knowing also that you won't be coming to meet me anymore. But how can I console this mother's heart who is thirsty for her only child's love. I know I am the biggest sinner alive on this earth and the world can do better without me.
When I say this that I am not going to ask your forgiveness anymore you must know that I've lost all hope of ever redeeming myself in your eyes.
I have always been a coward, a spineless woman to begin with. Even as a child I was a social outcast, easily bullied by children half of my age. In my gloomy existence the only ray of light came when your grandmother's family adopted me. I got a loving family, happiness that could have lasted my whole life if I wouldn't have met your father in the first place...
To this day I still think what was it that I saw in him to betray my family. Was it the illusion of strength, the feeling that once in my life someone was trying to bring me out of those shadows where I had tucked myself away from prying eyes and wagging tongues. I had been a victim of prying eyes and half-baked theories of my neighborhood from the time I was adopted by my new family...
I knew I was a bas***d, my mother had left me in the garbage to be eaten by mice, but a kindred spirit in a shape of a lovely young woman had saved me and brought me to her home. She was a divorcee, the reason of her being divorced was that she wasn't able to bear children. She looked after me, brought me up, even for her failing health and poor existence she loved me as a mother would have loved her own child...
But I was cursed to remain unloved. She died but not before she handed me to your aunt's family...
She was a cousin of your aunt and they couldn't refuse her death wish. They too loved me as much as they could. But I was selfish I yearned for support, I wanted someone to understand me as much as they would love me, although my new family loved me very much, but they never motivated me in whatever I wanted to do. They loved me until I started to suffocate. I wasn't able to make friends, wasn't given permission to choose my own subjects or even find a suitable partner for me. I was more of a prisoner to them than a mere child. They were not wrong you know. I get it now that they were trying to save me or rather saving their own neck from their neighborhood's piercing comments...
"This society is a hellish place for a woman to live alone by herself. I believed in that statement and it was the start of my downfall. To relieve my loneliness I began looking for a partner who would fill in the gaps of my pitiful existence. And then I met your father. The ever charming and suave businessman who was rumored to have started his business from nothing. The epitome of elegance and sophistication, he seemed to be made out of the stuff that girls of my age dreamt about...
He was a VVIP in our college, we met while I was hosting an event or rather struggling to keep my cool infront of the crowd. He saw me, noticed that I was on the brink of collapse and moved forward to help me. He took the mike out of my hand, threw a charming smile towards the crowd and for the next half an hour the whole college fell under the spell of his witty remarks...
That was the beginning of our courtship. Cellphones didn't exist these days. So, we exchanged notes, went to some public places on some dates and that was all. He was a good listener and in a little time I poured out all the poison that I was hiding inside me...
In his company, I felt more like myself, like a bird, I spread my wings and soared high above the clouds, tasting freedom...
He consoled me, cared for me, pretended to understood me. But I was nave, I couldn't understand his nefarious plans...
Before knowing I fell in love with him...
I still remember those golden days knowing with a heavy heart that they would never return.
I still love him for what he could be and not the monster that he had chosen to become and I know that in his own twisted sense he loves me and you as much as he is capable of loving any human being...
But it's almost an irony that the monster who destroys other people's daughters loves his own daughter like crazy, he truly loves you like a father, he could die for you as well as take someone's life for you...
That is his curse and punishment and my curse has been ditching real love for the illusion of love...
At that time, I didn't know that I was in love with the illusion of love. The Sashi Gupta I knew had never existed at all...
I hadn't cared enough for my family and that has been the biggest regret of my life. I could have talked to them, told them firmly that I didn't need their saving. Maybe they would have listened and tried to understand me but what I did was that I threw their love in their faces and went away hand in hand with your father...
Sashi Gupta wasn't a man, he was chameleon, he started showing his colors just after a year of our marriage. He had married me, an orphan, a weak woman who needed freedom from her family and who would always lean on him, would keep her mouth shut even after seeing him committing the heinous of crimes, won't lift a finger to stop him from doing the worst but would act as his witness, hiding the proof of his crimes, defending him against his punishment...
I was a scapegoat, a moral support to his weak character. The irony of the fate is, that we had both banished the love of our families to become what we are today. Weak, spineless creatures that feed on other people's vulnerabilities and goodness...
Forgive me my baby, not for my crimes, but for keeping you in the dark. I thought by not telling you anything I would be able to save you when God's vengeance would catch up with us but I now know that it was my mistake. I had wanted to keep the illusion of goodness in your eyes. So, you wouldn't hate your parents. When one hates their family they commit big mistakes, they fall prey to evil schemers...
Don't ever think that you are alone my princess, even if you are a woman you are not alone, your independence, your strength is your greatest partner. Don't ever be like your mother, don't ever lean on a man who doesn't deserve you. Whoever will you will eventually come into your life and when he will come you would be able to feel it yourself. He won't be an illusion but a reality...
Till then don't wait for him, don't waste your life obsessing about something that isn't in your hands...
You've got yourself, you've got a goal to achieve, to be independent, what has been my dream of freedom has become your reality. My darling daughter, my Khushi, just get out of this hellhole, you don't deserve to be a tool, you don't have to pay for your parent's sin, you don't deserve to be used by any man, by anyone...
For the first time in my life I am not afraid of anyone, even if this letter falls into the wrong hands I am not afraid.
My baby I am already dying but before I die I want to meet you one day if not here than in the afterwards. Maybe in another life in other circumstances, I hope that you would call me mother...
A hopeless mother,
"Your mother wants to meet you, Arnav announced, spreading butter and jam over his toast. They were sitting at the breakfast table, facing each other like two opposite banks of a river, the silence between them cold and cutting like a blade...
"Okay, I'll meet her, she answered dispassionately enough to bring a frown over Arnav's face. "My...my...you are really cold princess...I wasn't expecting such response, he raised a mocking brow. "What do you want me to say...that she is not my mother, I don't want to meet her because she has been dead for me...blah blah, she said in a jeering tone...
"Maybe not such passionate words, but don't you think that being so agreeable doesn't suit your personality at all, he inquired tauntingly...
"Then I must say that you've really got no idea about my personality, she raised her chin, a half challenging smile playing about her mouth...
"Ummm...something strange has really happened to you princess to bring such a drastic change inside you overnight...what it could be, he feigned suspicion, tapping a finger over his chin...
"Nothing important that you need to know, she replied coldly, that infuriating smile still playing over her smooth features...
"Ah...turning tables on me princess...care to beat me at my own game, he smiled wolfishly, but nothing could take away the hint of annoyance in his words. "You give me too much importance handsome, there is no game, she gave a lilting laughter.
He snapped his jaw with irritation, the expression of annoyance becoming more profound over his face...
Be cool Arnav, she is just playing with you, he thought...
"Okay I am done with my breakfast...when do you want me to meet Garima, she sounded almost bored as she took her mother's name. But Arnav knew that she was acting, she couldn't be more curious to know why her mother wanted to meet her so urgently unless, he thought suspiciously as something clicked inside his brain, Khushi was in contact with Garima Gupta this whole time behind his back and her breaking all ties with her mother had all been an act on her part...
What was the truth? what was she hiding? that girl was doing her damnedest to make him go insane, he clenched his jaw frustratingly...
He was blessed with a great intuition and thought himself to be the master of reading people's thoughts and judging their intentions in no time but this time he was failing where Khushi Kumari Gupta was concerned. Maybe that was because he was too lenient with her and his methods of coercion had not enough force behind them to make her bend at his will...
This time he wasn't letting her go, this time he would coerce the truth out of her even if he had to break her in half, he thought ruthlessly. But first he had to see how far she would go in hiding the truth from his eyes.
The clatter of crockery as she put down her spoon broke the stream of his thoughts. He clenched his fists at his sides, wanting to shake the shake the truth out of her, but controlling himself from doing so, he pasted a fake unconcerned smile over his mouth. She saw that and her brow raised inquiringly...
"Your mother send this to you, he took out an envelope from his pocket, whose seal had been broken. The letter had arrived this morning, Ramlal had delivered it to him saying that Garima Gupta desperately wanted her daughter to meet her as she was on her deathbed. Arnav had broken the seal to check the letter's contents but had found nothing extraordinary other than the laments of an extremely ill mother who was hoping to see her daughter before her death...
He had read the letter thoroughly but had found no secret to be uncovered. But his sixth sense was telling him that there was more to this letter than just Garima Gupta's story...
"Okay I will read this, she took the letter carelessly. Tell me when you are ready to take me to meet my mother, I will be waiting for your call, she said in a sing-song voice and breezed past him, leaving him seething in irritation...
She hadn't even inquired as to why he had opened the letter...
The old Khushi would have thrown a tantrum, admonishing him on reading her private mail...
But this Khushi...he couldn't decipher.
Had she really changed or was acting to be changed...
Almost running towards her room, she threw a nervous glance over her shoulder to listen to any sound of footsteps following her. But hearing nothing she took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart and closed the door, not forgetting to slid the key, locking it behind her...
Then she set herself to reading the letter. When it was finished she wiped the tears that had begun glistening over her face while she was engrossed in reading the story of her mother's life. Getting up she opened the cupboard at her left side, then sliding out the lowest drawer she took out a candle from it. Lighting the flame she placed it in the candle holder on her desk. Turning the letter to its blank side she drew the paper near enough to the flame to heat it but not to burn it...
Words soon started to appear over the blank side, written in invisible ink they could fool anyone in believing that the letter only contained the facts about Garima Gupta's life...
Khushi could have also fooled herself in believing that if her mother's nurse hadn't called her yesterday night from a public phone booth...
Garima had bribed her nurse by giving a little of her jewelry that she was wearing and had asked her to give her message to her daughter, Khushi only. The nurse had been calling from many nights in the hope that someday Khushi would pick up the phone and answer. It was only yesterday night when Khushi had been on her way to her room after filling her empty jug with water that she had heard the ringing of the phone from the tv lounge and had picked it up.
"Khushi speaking, she had said and the nurse had gushed out at once after hearing her. She had said that her mother was going to send her a letter, containing a secret that her mother only wants her to read. Before Khushi could reply or inquire the nurse had cut off the call, leaving her blankly staring at the receiver.
The secret thing she could understand very well. It had been a childhood game that she and her mother had used to play. Garima would leave messages for her in invisible ink on various pieces of clothes and paper and Khushi would use different methods to decode them...
But Khushi wasn't a child and they were not playing the decoding game anymore.
What kind of secret was it that Garima had taken the risk of sending it to Khushi under a hundred watchful eyes. Khushi had confused Arnav on the breakfast table, succeeding in turning his suspicion towards herself and not her mother...
But how long could she keep this charade, she had no idea...
The words had appeared on the letter, written so hastily that they almost didn't match the neat handwriting written in visible ink on the other side of the paper...
Her mother must be quite in panic, she chewed her teeth, running her eyes over the newly appeared words and froze in mid-track...
"I wish to bring this secret to you my daughter, which had been eating me alive all of these years. I had always blamed myself for that and would keep on doing that. What would have happened if I hadn't met Sashi Gupta, then my sister Manorama wouldn't have met him as well. She wouldn't have betrayed her husband and her family.
My child, I wasn't the only one who betrayed my family, I could be guilty of many things from covering your father's crimes to supporting him, but I would have never given him any inside information that would have thrown my family in danger. It was her, always her. Manorama was one of your father's many mistresses. My own sister, who betrayed me, betrayed all of us. My stupid, nave sister, who thought herself to be the woman of the world, destroyed her family and herself in a blink of an eye...
She, who used to advise me from straying away from the right path, even admonished me for choosing Sashi, strayed away herself...
I couldn't stop her and then it was too late for everything...
I didn't tell Arnav about this because I didn't want to strip the illusion of his mother from his eyes. I had already been a part of his destruction and I couldn't destroy him anymore than he already was. I had always known that he would come after us. And I was ready for being punished but I hadn't counted you, my baby on becoming a part of his vendetta. But now this game of vengeance has gone too far. I can't sleep thinking that you are just a mere tool for him to vent his anger on, when you shouldn't have been there in the first place...
Don't tell him about his mother, keep it a secret for me as for yourself. But know it that you are free as a bird, you don't have to pay penance all your life...
You don't deserve this my child. I am already dying, but I can't die even knowing that you are in misery. Come and meet me, even if you don't believe me...
The letter fell from Khushi's nerveless hands, darkness fell before her eyes and she blinked, waving a hand like a drowning person trying to find their way out in a stormy sea she felt herself sinking downwards, her knees hitting the tiled floor with a sickening thud...
"That can't happen, this is not true...then what about Arnav's revenge...was it for nothing...al of this hatred and pain...what does it mean, she muttered hysterically to herself...
"I have to meet her, it can't be true, she is just playing with my mind, she dashed away her tears with an angry hand. "Why not before, Why now?, she clenched her fists, looking at the ceiling which had no answer to give her back...
God yes, Arnav opened his eyes as the answer to his suspicion flashed before his brain and in a bound he was up from the armchair and almost running towards Khushi's room. It must be in an invisible message, it had to be, why couldn't it come to him before, he muttered angrily to himself...
"Khushi open this door at once, she was brought out of her reverie at the harsh sound of knocking. "Coming, she said loudly, getting up at the speed of lightning. "The letter, she whispered panickily. Striding towards the candle she blew it out, then throwing it behind the dresser she rushed towards the bathroom and pushed the button of drain after throwing the letter in the commode. It went out of sight with the first gush of water.
"Khushi I am going to break this door...if you won't open it, Arnav threatened again, his heavy knocking shaking the door on its hinges...
"What is the hurry, breathing a sigh of relief Khushi opened the door to glare angrily at him...
Almost pushing her aside he rushed inside the room. "Where is the letter?, he asked throwing a glance at the empty bed. "I threw it away, she answered carelessly and heading towards the dresser picked up the hairbrush and began running it vigorously through her tresses...
"Why...did you read the secret message before throwing it away?, he inquired. "What are you asking about?...what secret message?, she feigned surprise, shaking her head...
Arnav sucked in a breath then moving forward he took the hairbrush out of her hands and chucked it aside. It hit the wall with a dull thud before falling out of sight.
"Have the courtesy to look at me, while answering my question, he snapped, turning her towards him by holding her shoulders...
"Otherwise you would do what, beat me, torture me or kill me, she replied waspishly, glaring at him. Lifting a hand he threaded it through her hair, then tugging at it until she could feel the burn at the roots of each strand of her hair, he lowered his face threateningly close to her and whispered cuttingly, "None of these, I don't need these methods to coerce the truth out of you, you very well know that you no longer would be able to keep the truth hidden away from me if I apply one of my special methods on you...
"Then use them on me handsome...but you won't get anything out of me...because there is nothing there to be exposed, she smiled silkily...
"Where is the letter?, he ignored her cheekiness, asking bitingly. "I told you I have already thrown it away...if you want to get it then you would have to search it in the drain pipe and even then, you won't be able to get it because by now it would have already been dissolved in the water, she said smoothly.
"You are lying aren't you...you must be hiding it somewhere, he narrowed his eyes. "Why would I be lying...there was nothing special about that letter that I would want to keep it with me, rolling her eyes she waved a careless hand in the air...
"You are definitely lying...you've already found the secret message written there and now you are hiding the truth from me, he gnashed his teeth, then began searching through her clothes. "You've finally gone insane Raizada, she gasped, arousal hitting her like lightning as his hands moved over her body...
"If this is your method of coercion, then I am ready to spill the beans Raizada, she snickered, shamefully enjoying his touch. He froze, his searching hands going to a halt over her bosom. He seemed to be realizing the situation, the hectic color on his cheeks was inclining towards the hint of arousal that was tenting the front of his trousers...
Without his knowledge, just touching her body had been enough for his own body to catch the signal, like a lit matchstick thrown over haystack, it had caught fire...
Realizing his weakness, he drew his hands away, almost reluctantly...
"Nothing can move you, can it, not even me, not even this, she taunted, moving a hand over her body with a flourish, caressing herself from neck to the vee between her legs...
"Stop it princess...you are really behaving like a child, don't dare me to beat you up, he raised a threatening finger...
"Oooh..that sound really kinky, she rolled up her eyes at him, running a glistening tongue over her lips...
That did it, his control broke and before she could utter a surprised sound he had her thrown over his knees, face down, her butt high up in the air. And in the next moment he had her frock lifted above her waist and his palm had landed on her panties-cladded flesh eliciting a high squeak from her throat. "I warned you what would happen if you went on provoking me, he said harshly, slapping her bottom again. "You bas***d, you son of a bitch, she threw a litany of curses at him, increasing the vigor of slaps that she was receiving on her bottom...
She wouldn't cry, wouldn't ask for mercy, she bit at her lips angrily, her eyes burning with unshed tears as a result of humiliation then because of pain...
"Ask me to stop and I will, he paused, placing a hand over her burning bottom. "Never, she said mutinously, her body tensing in wait for his next slap. But it never arrived. Instead he flipped her body over, facing her. She glared at him, her mouth pursed stubbornly as he stared back strangely at her. Then something flared to life in his cold eyes and he bent his face to seal her mouth with his. Fireworks exploded inside her head, her lips burned, moved then clung to his savage mouth as her fury transported itself into passion that wanted only one conclusion, his surrender at any cost...
Khushi threw herself in the game, giving him bite for bite, lick for a lick, kissing him back with equal savageness, her fingers spearing into his head to clutch and tug at his hair before moving over his neck, her nails digging half-moon crescents into his flesh. She wrapped her fingers over his hand, clutching at his wrist to place it boldly between her thighs, exactly at the mound of her womanhood, where she throbbed and ached...
Like a feline cat she stretched in his arms, as he moved aside her panties to finger her gushing wetness...
Giving an encouraging moan, she trapped his hand between her legs, her bottom rotating and sliding over his aroused manhood. Something had changed between them, she wasn't resisting his touch at all, or trying to escape from him, infact she was encouraging him to caress her, forcing him towards his surrender...
"Nooo, he tore himself away from her clutching arms, shaking his head in vehemence he pushed her away putting a safe distance between them...
"What's the matter?, she blinked, her voice ringing with disappointment.
"So very eager are you princess...for my surrender, aren't you, he heaved a deep breath to calm himself, his voice bitter with accusation...
"Ah..that...gotcha...you caught me, she gave a girlish laughter, flicking away her hair triumphantly...
"Yes I did...next time won't be so easy for you princess...just remember that with my surrender your surrender wont be far away, he said briskly, almost warningly.
"Ae...ae captain I would remember, she saluted, wiggling her brows, her eyes lit with merry laughter...
His mouth twisting in displeasure, he brushed at his clothes then made his way towards the door. "One thing more...about that letter, I know you have read the secret message and will be acting upon whatever there was in the message...so keep in mind princess, my eyes will always be following you and whatever you would do and say...I would know, he paused to whisper the threatening words, without looking back. The fact that he hadn't bothered to look at her face while whispering those words had a vibe of calamity about them...
She shuddered to think what would have happened if he would have somehow got a clue that the letter was written in invisible ink and had deciphered the secret message. Her mother had sure taken a great risk while writing the letter in invisible ink...
She couldn't be wrong to take such a risk...
Maybe she wasn't lying, she thought shakily...
"Meet me downstairs in ten minutes straight, we are going to meet Garima Gupta, let's see what she has to say to her daughter, his words rang again then the door crashed shut behind him, almost making her jump...
"Go on, ask her what she wants to say to you, he nodded his head in the direction of Garima's room as Khushi looked at him hesitatingly, as if asking for his permission to go. On their way to the hospital he had been sitting silently in the car, looking out of the window at the blur of buildings and people, as the car rushed past them. He had been brooding, his harsh profile had almost looked so forbidding that she hadn't dared ask him any question incase he would snap at her and she would be made to look out as a fool infront of Ramlal and the driver sitting in the front...
So, when he had asked her to go inside alone to visit Garima she had looked at him in bewilderment. Then it dawned on her, he must have a device on her. The sneaky devil, she thought suppressing a smile...
Let him stew, I would be careful, she thought and turned to go inside the room...
Khushi almost dropped her handbag with shock as she saw Garima. She was so pale that she stood out on the white sheets, her body was almost emaciated and her features were contorted so much that she was beyond recognition...
"Mom, Khushi whispered in shock, all the hatred vanishing into thin air at seeing Garima's condition. As she turned her sunken eyes slowly towards Khushi she looked like a decaying mummy, resting in her mausoleum...
"Khushi, her voice was like a death rattle, raising Khushi's hair...
"Come...here...my...child..., she spread a hand towards her. The handbag slid threw Khushi's fingers, landing with a thud on the floor. She almost ran towards the woman who was once bustling with life and vibrancy. Who would have said that those sunken and fleshless cheeks had once had the permanent rosy glow over them...
"Mom, what happened to you...why didn't you ask for me before, she clasped her mother's hand, horrified at the skeletal feel of it beneath her fingers...
"You...were angry with me...remember...and I was ashamed enough not to ask for you, she rattled out. A coughing fit caught her and her body swayed like a delicate reed before a mighty storm...
"Water, she croaked indicating the glass on the side table. Khushi picked up the glass and supporting her mother's body she lifted it up to her mother's lips. Only a little sip of water and she indicated Khushi to lay her down again on the bed...
"Come here, she tapped a hand over her chest and Khushi laid her head down on her bosom. "Mom whatever are you going to say, say it in my ear, speak in a whisper, Khushi whispered and Garima nodded her head in compliance.
"I am dying Khushi...but before I go I want to tell you something, she whispered in her ear...
"The evidence supporting my claim is lying in a locker...you have to get it out before anyone does and destroy it if you must...then you have to get out of that place as soon as possible...leave Arnav...I couldn't do anything for him...but that is the only thing that I can do for him...keep him away from the truth...and as a mother keep you away from getting destroyed by his vengeance, she caressed Khushi's hair as her daughter's silent tears seeped into her bosom.
Then Khushi tensed, her sensitive ears catching the sound of feet moving in the corridor towards her mother room...
"Tell me the locker code and address mom...quickly before he comes, she whispered back. "No whisper me in the ear, I would understand, she hushed her mother as Garima opened her mouth to tell. She could hear the pounding of the footsteps closing on them, so she bent her head, moving her ear closer to Garima's mouth, as her mother whispered the last word in her ear, the door crashed open on its hinges...
"Very clever princess...I should have known, his lips curling in a sneer Arnav moved inside, followed by a nurse, Ramlal, Shyam and a woman whom Khushi recognized at once...
She would never be able to forget the girl whom Arnav had kissed beneath her balcony to provoke her...
Samantha aka Sam...
Now she was standing behind the three men, looking watchful...
The nurse, her head bowed headed towards Garima who was watching them with a frightened look on her face...
"Search her...Sam and Ramlal and Shyam, both of you wait for me in the car, I'll be out after straightening some things out, his voice rang out with authority. Ramlal and Shyam nodded in obedience and head out at once...
Sam took a hesitant step towards her, but Khushi threw out a hand, stopping her in midstride.
"I'd rather you search me...I wouldn't be able to bear the indignity of her touching my person, she snapped. "On the other hand you don't need to search me for the device...I always knew it would be in my handbag so I threw it on the floor at the door. You can check it, its still lying there, she pointed a hand towards her handbag.
"Sam, check it, Arnav pursed his lips. Sam upended the whole contents of the handbag over the floor, rummaging through it. Khushi and Garima exchanged a look, whereas Garima's was scared and Khushi's was reassuring. Arnav noticed the exchange and his lips thinned...
Khushi could only hope that if they weren't able to hear anything wireless then the device wouldn't have recorded anything important as well...
They were only whispering after all and she had already thrown the device very afar...
"Here it is, Sam finally pulled out a little black recording device. "Switch it on, Arnav ordered briskly...
Her heart pounding with an overwhelming need to flee she threw a nervous glance towards Garima whose face was now so pale that it merged with her white hospital gown...
"Mom, Khushi's shocked voice emanating from the little electronic device sounded ominous in the deathly silence of the room...
P.S: DO LIKE AND COMMENT DEARIES IF YOU LIKED THE LATEST TWIST! 😛😳 Edited by mahirmukhtar - 7 years ago
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