If there did exist a real depiction of how one feels when they have to race against time, it was now that I was facing it for real.I was a bundle of nerves as I sped my SUV, my mind flooded with insinuations of what Avni would be feeling at the moment and what condition she would be in.
For weeks, I had dreaded only one thing and done everything I possibly could to keep her away from the truth, our truth, just for her own good. Until she was ready to bear the weight of the reality, that was both beautiful and disheartening.
Ours had never been a simple story, and maybe that's what made it special, but today, against all odds I fervently wished that maybe life would have been much better, if none of us had any baggage from the past. Where I just met her and fell in love with her, and we could live a simple married life.
But who was I bluffing?
The reality of the hour was sour, and even the slightest hint of my conscience that suggested I could possibly lose my love forever, made my heart stop.
''No! Nothing bad will happen! I will make Avni understand everything!''
It was more of a motivation I gave myself than a vow I made as I pressed the brakes hard and the car came to a screeching halt.
I wasted not another second as I rushed inside Neela Maa's house, calling out for Avni, but to my surprise, only silence greeted me in return.
''Avni!''
Every time I took her name, my heart skipped a beat, hoping against hope that nothing that I didn't want to hear or see greeted me in return, and it was only after five whole minutes that I realized, the house was actually empty.
With that, this race against time got only trickier as I could feel a new form of tension building inside my veins, making my blood rush at a racing speed, dreading anything bad happening to my Avni.
.
.
As I sat back inside the car, taking deep breaths, I tried to regain my calm. for my palpitations were doing me no good.
It was only after a good two minutes that I once again tried calling her cell phone, and after getting the same ''Person not reachable' response, I thought of nothing else further and simply put the key into the ignition, knowing my next destination very well.
.
.
As I finally entered through the gates of Juhu Graveyard, where lay the dead blended with Earth now, I found my life there, right there, as I thought she would be. Clutching on to the flowers and the holy sheet that was spread over Ayesha Maa's grave.
And it was then I felt, I was alive.
.
.
For Avni, it was a myriad of emotions hitting her too hard, so much that neither could she cry nor could she forget what had greeted her sometime back.
All her life, she had been dejected by the lies of her own people, betrayal by her own blood, and it was only when she received nurture and affection under the perimeters of Neela Maa's boundless and selfless love for her that she started believing in relations beyond blood.
But today, she was once again broken, once again betrayed, not by a blood relation but by someone whom she had given her heart.
And as the realization and gravity of it started echoing inside her head time and again, she only cursed herself for even thinking of falling in love and expecting the person would be loving her as much if not more, in return.
Little did she know, that the guy she thought had betrayed her and didn't love her enough, was someone who loved her more than perhaps he even loved himself.
.
.
She was engrossed in nothing in particular, as she kept staring unblinkingly at her birth mother's grave, maybe thinking if death truly gave us peace, as she recalled the smiling, loving memories, vague memories from her childhood, where her Ayesha Maa had always showered her with immense love.
A faint smile broke on her lips as she was lost in the webs of only a few good and happy memories that she had from her childhood, when a husky voice halted her train of thoughts, breaking her reverie, making her heart skip a beat.
''Avni!''
.
.
She didn't need to turn to look at the owner of that voice for she knew it very well who he was.
After all, he was the reason behind the despair that her life had suddenly clouded her with.
When Neil heard no response from her, he enunciated her name once again, but this time he watched her stand up on her feet and turn to face him with eyes that looked fierce but something about them told him that she was more broken than angry.
''Avni, I-''
He had barely begun but she stopped him from saying anything further as she stepped closer. But not close enough.
He was dreading the moment and all he wanted to do was take her away from here, so that they can sit in a peaceful atmosphere and he can sort this out in the healthiest way possible, but little did he know that the woman in front of him right now was a bundle of adrenaline, as she wasted not another moment, and said in a voice that was nothing but hostile,
''You know Neil Khanna, I have been subjected to betrayal and lies all my life, but it only made my judgment of people stronger, but wow! YOU managed to fool me! Should I say I am impressed by your lying skills or should I sit and cry that I fell in love with the worst person ever?!''
Neil knew things were out of his hands from the moment his security guard had told him that Avni had visited his apartment and he had found that newspaper cut-out, that could jeopardize every ounce of progress he had made with Avni in the past few weeks. But never did he imagine Avni's repugnance towards him would grow multifold like this, the way she was speaking to him now.
.
.
''Avni, let me explain-''
He tried once again, to put forth his side of the story, but Avni was in no mood to listen as she stepped further close to him, stopping him from giving any other explanation, as she gritted through her teeth in her rudest tone ever,
''Don't you feel ashamed, Mr. Khanna? Being married to someone and getting close to someone else? Are you even .1% of the gentleman that you show yourself to be? Or is everything just a farce like the story you told me the other day, about the confusion of your ex-senior officer about your alleged marriage?''
Neil felt his heart pang with the accusations Avni, his own wife, directed at him, and in that moment, he just stood there, tongue-tied, unable to believe that his Avni, could ever utter such vile words to him, when he knew how much she loved him.
''You know what Neil Khanna? Till today I thought Ashish Mehta was the worst man on this planet, who was such a coward that he could never stand for his love and got married to someone else! But that changed today! Because YOU are WORSE than Ashish Mehta! Because you are a CHEAT! You commit INFIDELITY! BEWAFA ho TUM! Shaadi kisi aur se, aur-''
Before she could even utter another word, she was shocked beyond her understanding to see the bloodshot eyes of Neil Khanna as he held her by her arm, so tight that it started getting painful for her as he glared at her, stopping her from saying anything further.
A chill ran down her spine, as she saw the shift in his personality, as if he had heard enough, and though she tried her best to escape from his grip, his hold only tightened on her, making her both silent and scared.
''You have said ENOUGH, Avni Ayesha! Now it's time for you to LISTEN!''
And with that, he dragged her to his car, all her protests of leaving her falling on deaf ears, as he pushed her into the passenger's seat, and he sat behind the steering wheel, putting the key into the ignition and speeding away.
.
.
Avni kept protesting as she tried to open the lock of the door on her side, but her attempts for futile as Neil spared no glance at her, and kept his gaze straight on the road, his mind and heart, both suddenly clouded by a cauldron of anger, where the only words that rang in his head were Avni's accusations, where she charged him with a crime: A crime of being an infidel, a crime of cheating on his wife!
''Neil! What the hell are you even doing?! I am telling you, just leave me ALONE!''
Avni shouted at him, but he paid no heed as he stopped the car in front of his apartment, and quickly opened the door to her side, dragging her out of the car.
When she refused to come with him, he was left with no choice as he forcefully carried her in his arms, shocking even the security guard who was a witness to this scene, but decided to stay quiet on purpose for he knew it was an issue between a married couple and he mustn't interfere, especially since he knew Neil Sahab would never hurt his wife on purpose.
.
.
He entered the room and finally placed Avni on her feet while the latter continued to look at him with hostility, resenting him for his dare to forecefully bring her to his apartment, that too when he was actually married to someone else.
She fumed as she turned on her heels to reach the main door of the apartment, but Neil was faster as he locked the door and stood there, barring her from making any kind of exit, and she felt her throat dry, seeing this different Neil Khanna altogether.
.
.
A minute passed and none of them spoke anything, but Neil's gaze was fixated on her and his anger was nowhere near to dying down.
Finally shifting her gaze away from her, he walked towards the wall opposite to his bed in the room, and uttered out loud as he removed the massive wall painting from there,
''You want to know right, if I am married or not? Then, yes. I am married. I am married yet I chose to fall in love with you and I don't regret it. You want to know why?''
Avni felt her breath halt as she heard him make that confession, but what was about to greet her eyes, she couldn't even anticipate in her wildest dreams.
And with one deep breath, Neil let the wall painting come undone, revealing the sight of what stayed concealed from everyone's eyes for all these weeks.
.
.
.
Avni stood flabbergasted, the numbness clouding her as her eyes refused to blink, seeing a wall full of photo frames, of her.. and Neil?
A force too strong, indefinable, enveloped her as she saw their wedding pictures, her solo pictures, their pictures from several occasions, bringing in a plethora of vague episodes, all hitting her at one go, making her feel light-headed, as she began shaking for the impact of what was greeting her eyes.
.
.
''SACH JANNA THA NAA TUMHE? YEHI SACH HAI! MERA NAHI.. HUMARA SACH!''
He didn't even look at her as he said it, his own eyes wandering on the photographs that he had himself hidden for so long, letting him lose himself in the feeling of those happy memories that he had lived with the woman who had today doubted his intentions, his feelings, the woman who was the love of his life, his wife.
''There's only one person I have EVER loved and ever WILL, and that's my Wife! My wife, that's you Avni!''
''Wo pic dekh rahi ho.. ''
He pointed at a picture frame on the center of the wall.
''That's from her wedding day. The one on the left? It's from the day when you cooked your first meal in the kitchen, which was not actually cooked by you. DD got it from the restaurant on my order since you didn't know cooking. And the one on the extreme right? That's from the Janmashtami function. You looked so beautiful in that dark green attire. You know the shawl you had put on? I have still kept it safe with me.''
It seemed like in the process of narrating the memories that Avni had lost, Neil was losing himself in the beautiful lane that his life once used to be, when he had his Avni by his side.
For each photograph brought back a distant but dear memory, of the times they had spent together, by each other's side, through thick and thin.
''Maine hamesha sirf aur sirf tumhe chaha hai Avni. Aur Khuda bhi iss sach ko nahi badal sakta. Main hamesha se sirf Tumhara tha aur kabhi kisi aur ka nahi ho sakta.''
The genuineness in his voice was palpable as he made that honest confession and went on to continue further,
''Main kabhi nahi chahta tha ki ye sach tumhare saamne aise aaye, Avni. In fact main-''
The next words refused to escape from his mouth as he turned around to look at Avni, but his expectation of meeting her gaze remained unfulfilled as he felt his breath knocked out of lungs witnessing an unconscious Avni who had collapsed on the floor, and he didn't even know when.
''AVNI!!!''
He screamed out loud as he ran towards her, picking her up in his arms, his sight witnessing the worst fear of his come true as his mind whispered, 'Did you lose her forever?'
**
Mr And Mrs Parshuram
Sports
The 50
