"No sunehri, I didn't come this far just to go back! If I had to I wouldn't have chosen this for me. I said to sunehri as she again begun to force to me to go and meet Neil.
"But you're not understanding, look at the signs you need to understand Neil still loves you like he used to, in fact me and tara, sitara we all think the same. Sunehri said this to me, while tara sitara nodded in agreement.
"I know he still loves me and I do too, but sometimes something are better off behind the curtains because they're too ugly to be faced I said sticking onto my decision of not meeting Neil and left the room.
"Not meeting Neil is my choice, I have to stick onto it no matter what and now when he's in Kashid, I can't stay here at least not till he's here, if incase I accidently meet him no, no, no! I said to myself, I do this daily before going to bed. It's been 3 days since we met.
~
Here I am, at a bus stop I am leaving, going where? That is yet to be discovered. The first bus that come I'll sit and leave, no I am not leaving this time forever, but yes I am running away from Neil just to save him, again.
As I sit down I see a reflection in the broken mirror in the waiting area where I am present at the moment, as the reflection becomes clear, I see Neil coming forward. I can't tell if he's seen me or he just randomly came here. He stumbles, and again stumbles, I turn towards him to save him within a blink of eye, I suppose it as a biggest mistake but when its Neil avni comes out and neilanjana fades away. But then he again stumbles and is about to fall when I reach him and save him from falling, he looks so drunk, his eyes blood red, his messy hair and his cracked voice in which he said my name Avni! This is not the first time that I heard him say my name after 10 years but every time when he says it the same kind of current runs through my veins.
"Avni, tum phirse aagayi! Iss baar bhe meine apni jaan khatre mein nahi daali. Tum iss baar phir chor ke to nahi chali jao gi na? Neil interrogated as soon as I made him sit on a bench nearby.
"Nahi neil, mein kahi nahi jaungi. Mein toh hamesha yahi hoon na, tumharay dil mein, tumharay sapno mein, jaisa ke mein harr waqt aati hoon jab bhe tum mujhey yaad karte ho. I said to him, while fixing his hair and his clothes.
"Avni, why did you leave in the first place? Why did you go to vidyut's house that day? What was that thing that pulled you there and you chose him over me? He questioned me.
"Avni can never choose anyone else over neil, never! Avni is, was, and always be neil's. I justified.
"Then why? Kyu gayi thi tum vidyut ke ghar uss din? Kya itna zaroori kaam tha jo tumhe waha kheencha le gaya? Neil's tone was stern this time, but I am sure he's drunk and he doesn't know what he's talking, telling him the truth can lighter me, I suppose this is the best thing to do. He wouldn't remember what happened just like before, but it would definitely help me to live not peacefully but at least I would feel a little better.
"Bolo na avni? Kyu gayi tum? Agar tum nahi jaati to aj ham saath hotay hamesha hamesha ke liye. As his voice hit my ear my thought process was broken.
"Neil, life mein there comes a point where you have to put down your weapons to end the battle, sometimes it's necessary to show back to the battle field and run away, because those sometime are when you have to save you family, I had to do this to save papa, vidyut had all those proofs which could put papa behind the bars. Vidyut had drugged him the day I came back home and he asked him to kill you but in order to save you neela maa was shot. And he had shown me recording of that incident, Neil, I couldn't let anything happen to papa. I just couldn't lose him too, not this time, not because of me. I sobbed while saying this, but as soon as I turned to Neil he was asleep.
I pulled out a scarf from and put it over him, why? I don't know, it's not even cold, I guess I wanted to leave a mark as this was our last meeting. I got up after bidding good bye to Neil and this time it is forever.
I started to walk as I made my way to the ticket booth; I turned to see Neil sleeping peacefully, for the last time. There was a ticket booth at 10 steps I bought a ticket for a bus that's going out of the city and started walking towards the bus and sat in it. The bus engine ignited and I prayed to God to give me strength to live with this lie that I have been saying to everyone and to give Neil enough strength to live with my memories. The bus has now covered some 1KM I suppose and the bus come to a halt, everyone in the bus started to panic. I didn't bother because neilanjana had vanished somewhere in the thin air as soon as I met Neil some time back if it was neilanjana she would be the first one to chicken out, but avni was never afraid of any such a thing.
"Abay marna ha to kahi aur jaake marr! Tujhey meri hi bus mili hai aagay aake marne keh liye? Driver said in full aggression.
"I guess there's some person who just came in front of the bus, choro mujhey kya karna ha! I sat back and closed my eyes.
"Marna nahi hai sahib, kisi maray hue insaan se uske zinda honay ki waja poochni hai! I panicked this this, shiver ran down my spine when I heard this voice, it was no unfamiliar voice, it was neil.
I joined my hand together praying that he shouldn't see me, he can't see me! But then everything went in vain right when I saw him standing just centimeters apart from me. His eyes were blood red, he looked heated, he grabbed my hand with such a force I couldn't bear the pain I shed two tears as he pulled me out of the bus. As soon as we were out of the bus he asked the driver to leave this place as soon as he can, his voice had a lot of rage that no one bothered to comment any further, and the bus left leaving my luggage. I was shivering badly, I had never been this scared of neil, well if we take a walk in the past, I have never been scared of Neil. Anyways, now I am!
I don't know what to say, what to do, I don't know he's going to say, and what I am going to reply. Basically no nothing!
"Chup kyu khari ho, banao koi kahani jaise ke tumne hamesha banai hai! Kaho mujhey ke I am again hallucinating, kaho na neilanjana, bachon ki jaan didi kuch kehte kyun nahi ho! I started to speak, he didn't sound angry but hurt, and I have hurt him, I have been hiding for 10 years. I chose to stay shut, not even a single explanation can take away the pain he's been through all these years, because of me and for me!
"Neilanjana, tum ne to apne naam mein Neil ko basa liya, magar magar Neil ka kya? Kabhe socha hai neil kis dard se guzra hoga us din jis din usne tmhe martay dekha, us din jis din usko yeh pata chala ke uski dharkan us se chin gaye hai hamesha ke liye. Socha tumne? Neil kept on saying but I didn't have anything to say, nothing.
"Neil, I know tum mujhse bohat gussa ho, aur hona bhe chahye hai, magar neil avni ab zinda nahi hai aur avni agar zinda hue to wo apne parivar ko barbaad kardegi, aik baar phir se! I started to speak, not that I wanted to justify what I had done.
"Kon kehta hai Neil yaha Avni ko lene aya hai? Konsi ghalat fehmi mein jee rahe hain ap neilanjana. Mein to apko aj yeh batane aya hoon ke avni ko maray 10 saal hogaye hai but aj mene uski zinda laash ko dekhlia hai, aj meri Avni ko sukoon miljaaye ga, meri Avni to hamesha meray sath rehti hai meri saanson mein ap to sirf uske jaise dikhne wali neilanjana hain, avni nahi. " Neil said and I felt disgusted over my actions, today I regret each and everything. Today, I feel I should've let fearless Ananya Verma take birth that day instead of a weakling neilanjana! But the damage has been done.
"Neil yeh nahi kahoongi ke ehsaan utara hai mene jaise tumne mujhey aj se 10 saal 6 mahine pehle jail mein daala tha mujhey bachane ke liye jaise wo tumhara farz tha, meri safety. Usi tarah Neil, tumhari aur apni family ki safety was my top most priority and I had no other option, I was short on time too. Isi liye wo qadam uthana para. Vidyut ko khatam karne ka irada to mein kar bethe the, ab uske liye mein kuch bhe karsakti thi, Avni ko maar bhe sakte thi aur mene wahi kiya. I said.
"Avni, Avni, Avni! Tum yeh kab samjho gi tum mujhse apne dil ki harr baat share karsakti chahe wo kitna hi bara sach kyu na ho. He said the same thing that he's already told me zillions of time.
"Neil mujhey uss waqt jo samaj aya, jo sabke liye sahi laga mene wo kiya. Tumhe pata hai na Dayawanti Mehta mujhey hamesha kya kehti thi. Manhus hoon mein, jaha bhe jati hoon andehra phela dete hoon aur tum roshni ho neil, mein tumhari life mein apne waja se problems nahi laa sakti neil, never! I explained.
"Avni, how can you even think like that? You know you've taught me the real definition of love, you have made me who I am, you may have destroyed me now but you had built me up earlier. Never in my entire life can I think that you can cause me pain but some of your decisions have caused me pain, you were never supposed to pull those stunts on me. He said.
"I'm so sorry neil! I know, I shouldn't have done this to us, to you and to me. I sobbed while I apologized.
"It's too hard to forgive avni, but it's even harder to let you go. Now that I have got you back I can never lose you because I was hurt for past 10 years. Neil said as he took me in his arms.
~
A day later,
"Neil, how'd you get to know I was alive? As I sat down putting the tray of cups full of tea, yes, I have learned making tea; I make world best tea as sunehri says.
"You know, when I first came here, this place Sukoon Ghar, gave me some sort of sukoon that I have been looking for, for past 10 years. I couldn't understand what is it but it felt great. Neil explained with a smile on his face, which was long lost.
"Yeh toh hai, this place has something which can bring instant joy to you. DD said looking at sunehri, they both have started to bond better now.
"And then the holi day, when we met for the first time after 10 years. I was drunk and couldn't remember anything what had happened but it was too real to be misunderstood as imagination. Then when I came here the next day my doubt started to grow further, police wala hoon akhir ab job pe nahi hoon toh kya hua. The cop inside him can get in action any moment.
He was about to complete his mission neilanjana/Jaan didi story when the kids came in and took our attention with their laughter.
"Chale, ham ready hain. Sayesha said who came along with the kids ready for the picnic DD and KK planned.
We both were hesitant to get up, as I wanted to spend time with neil. Somewhere neilajana had taken over avni in me. I couldn't speak up, but neil did, "You guys go, we'll join you guys later or we might not if we get busy in our business. He winked at DD.
Everyone left, we both were left alone in the room. I didn't know what to say, how to break the silence growing in the room, I got up and hugged neil from the back when he was closing the door after bidding bye to others. I started sobbing and started saying sorry for what I had done. He turned and hugged me and said, "let the past stay in past, we have our present and future in front of us which is way more important.
"I love you, Mr. Neil Khanna.
"I love you, Mrs. Avni Neil Khanna!
He captured my lips for a kiss, a kiss that was more a promise that we'll stay together till death pull us apart, and this time the real one.
Helllooo, I hope you guys enjoyed it thora bohat, haha. Drop in your comments I'd love to read.:)
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