DiRa marriage ...who do we blame?

foresight thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#1
I am seeing so much blame game between DIRa by the fans re this marriage that felt the need to throw in my two cents as well. Why here and why not in the other posts? Simply being lazy/ effective by not saying the same thing in two places.

Let me just say this at the off set, if you like the show and the pair, take a few minutes to see both their POv. It is only fair.

Did the marriage need to happen? And need to happen in forced way?
Unfortunately yes. Diya and Ratan would have not seen each other in different light with Abhay still in the picture even if invisibly if Diya wasn't to get married just now or Abhay hadn't ditched her. They would have floated in the limbo stage and Diya would have resisted any rishta other than friendship with every breath in her body even if she felt something more for Ratan. At the start of the marriage track itself, it was clear that both were going to be forced into it to change their rishta. We all knew it. And that it would be against wishes of both. That is what happened. Ratan may not have had a gun to his head but he was left no choice between the letter, sajjan's antics and diya's pain (we know he gets extremely protective in such cases) Saying you have a option but then shutting that very door doesn't equate to choice. Diya too was forced into it. She tried to stop but was made to promise to go along

Diya is hurting and Ratan is immature idiot. That is the most common comment I am hearing.
Reality is that both are not in a great place. They have married someone who we know is right for them but for the wrong reasons out of compulsion. They are both not in the right state of mind.

For Diya she is thinking about Ratan being forced into marrying her when he doesn't want to. She is feeling guilt but also obligation towards him for what he has done (for her father more than anything else). Then there is worry about what the future means and how is she going to manage the relationship when her husband doesn't want it and doesn't think she is he kind of person he wants to be with. For her marriage was imp. The part she left unattended due to her promise. The part she wants to live now. But now it has to be with someone who she feels doesn't want the relation in reality (not that she wanted it either)

Ratan is in his own hell. He knows in his heart that this was the right decision. For the letter. Because she is in the position now because of his father and his safety and because he wants to make things right for her make her happy. He strongly believes this decision but he is also not ready for the marriage that his strong heart felt decision warrants. What do you do when two parts of you are against each other? His heart cannot give up decision...as a result he is frustrated. Frustrated at the situation not the people. It also doesn't help that instead of support in this one committed decision everyone is point out he is not Capable,,that he should back out...that he is going to fall apart. Their concerns are not invalid but his conviction in the decision means to him that they don't understand him won't support and will only worry. KM and Yash look at him as though he is going to break apart when they look at him.

Diya is dealing with the situation with stoic silence. Ratan with spurts of leaked frustration.

They need time to talk and deal with the situation. They need to go back to being friends until they find those new feelings. Ratan because of promise to Sajjan cannot do that. Diya will need to suggest it...the symbolic you can do what you want and we will be friends even if for the world we are hus and wife..because none of them are going to allowed to completely set the other free because of the promises they are bound by thanks to Sajjan.

And like with what happened after gatbandhan scene Ratan will relax and come back to do the rituals and follow the marriage. But they need something to take the pressure off. Unfortunately it is only eo who can do it not others

In the long run they will both grow up.

Diya enough to realise that in marriage she doesn't need to be kitchen queen to be a good wife. She needs to be herself

And Ratan need it grow up and understand that committing to someone doesn't mean end of freedom and sometimes finding the right person to commit to can set you free

Diya will need to stop being rigid and allow herself to be happy and immmaure sometimes

Ratan will need to grow up and show he can be considerate and mature toward the need of his family

But before they find themselves and each other, they are both going to fall down the Pit a few times. They know what the other thinks of them in anger. Boring n useless. It is going to cause some heartache before they find their footing and realise they are what the other wanted and needed

But till then there are going to be hurtful moments. No beautiful love story no intense love story was paved only via lovely dovey moment and understanding couple.

Let them make those mistakes without us blowing our heads off ...esp if we want that intense story

At the end of the day, even in the worst moments they care deeply for each other and love is accepting each other knowing the worst of them

Edited by foresight - 7 years ago

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incendio thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#2
Wow 👏 Totally agree with you... I always thought people are way too hard on Ratan... Its a Rishta that can not change over night.. If we want the understanding from both of them we have to give them time to atleast talk first.. and that would be the first step in the right direction...
Really loved your post.. our thoughts are similar and nothing to add more.. Let me go and read it again..😆
KrishnaRukmini thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#3
Beautiful post n completely agree with u...
Edited by Krishna_Sourav - 7 years ago
lisasandra thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#4
Yes. We all have to give them space and should accept the fact. Ratan is not a bad person. He is Rajput. He will be fine soon.
Diya already perfect and I'm sure that now CT will show Ratan slowly mature.


desiseriesfan thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#5
Bang on foresight,
You said everything in a logical and though I am an emotional fool so I always curse Ratan. But your post is like what people say...opened my eyes and I hope my eyes will be still open when Ratan is doing his immature notanki behavior 😡 The thing is that its very hard to control anger when I watch him throwing Diya's bangles 😡. But still I will try 😃, I don't know about others.
mrs_weasley thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: foresight

I am seeing so much blame game between DIRa by the fans re this marriage that felt the need to throw in my two cents as well. Why here and why not in the other posts? Simply being lazy/ effective by not saying the same thing in two places.

Let me just say this at the off set, if you like the show and the pair, take a few minutes to see both their POv. It is only fair.

Did the marriage need to happen? And need to happen in forced way?
Unfortunately yes. Diya and Ratan would have not seen each other in different light with Abhay still in the picture even if invisibly if Diya wasn't to get married just now or Abhay hadn't ditched her. They would have floated in the limbo stage and Diya would have resisted any rishta other than friendship with every breath in her body even if she felt something more for Ratan. At the start of the marriage track itself, it was clear that both were going to be forced into it to change their rishta. We all knew it. And that it would be against wishes of both. That is what happened. Ratan may not have had a gun to his head but he was left no choice between the letter, sajjan's antics and diya's pain (we know he gets extremely protective in such cases) Saying you have a option but then shutting that very door doesn't equate to choice. Diya too was forced into it. She tried to stop but was made to promise to go along

Diya is hurting and Ratan is immature idiot. That is the most common comment I am hearing.
Reality is that both are not in a great place. They have married someone who we know is right for them but for the wrong reasons out of compulsion. They are both not in the right state of mind.

For Diya she is thinking about Ratan being forced into marrying her when he doesn't want to. She is feeling guilt but also obligation towards him for what he has done (for her father more than anything else). Then there is worry about what the future means and how is she going to manage the relationship when her husband doesn't want it and doesn't think she is he kind of person he wants to be with. For her marriage was imp. The part she left unattended due to her promise. The part she wants to live now. But now it has to be with someone who she feels doesn't want the relation in reality (not that she wanted it either)

Ratan is in his own hell. He knows in his heart that this was the right decision. For the letter. Because she is in the position now because of his father and his safety and because he wants to make things right for her make her happy. He strongly believes this decision but he is also not ready for the marriage that his strong heart felt decision warrants. What do you do when two parts of you are against each other? His heart cannot give up decision...as a result he is frustrated. Frustrated at the situation not the people. It also doesn't help that instead of support in this one committed decision everyone is point out he is not Capable,,that he should back out...that he is going to fall apart. Their concerns are not invalid but his conviction in the decision means to him that they don't understand him won't support and will only worry. KM and Yash look at him as though he is going to break apart when they look at him.

Diya is dealing with the situation with stoic silence. Ratan with spurts of leaked frustration.

They need time to talk and deal with the situation. They need to go back to being friends until they find those new feelings. Ratan because of promise to Sajjan cannot do that. Diya will need to suggest it...the symbolic you can do what you want and we will be friends even if for the world we are hus and wife..because none of them are going to allowed to completely set the other free because of the promises they are bound by thanks to Sajjan.

And like with what happened after gatbandhan scene Ratan will relax and come back to do the rituals and follow the marriage. But they need something to take the pressure off. Unfortunately it is only eo who can do it not others

In the long run they will both grow up.

Diya enough to realise that in marriage she doesn't need to be kitchen queen to be a good wife. She needs to be herself

And Ratan need it grow up and understand that committing to someone doesn't mean end of freedom and sometimes finding the right person to commit to can set you free

Diya will need to stop being rigid and allow herself to be happy and immmaure sometimes

Ratan will need to grow up and show he can be considerate and mature toward the need of his family

But before they find themselves and each other, they are both going to fall down the Pit a few times. They know what the other thinks of them in anger. Boring n useless. It is going to cause some heartache before they find their footing and realise they are what the other wanted and needed

But till then there are going to be hurtful moments. No beautiful love story no intense love story was paved only via lovely dovey moment and understanding couple.

Let them make those mistakes without us blowing our heads off ...esp if we want that intense story

At the end of the day, even in the worst moments they care deeply for each other and love is accepting each other knowing the worst of them

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!
Its so so so great that finally someone wants to understand even Ratan's POV! Besides we really need to give him a break he is just 21! And he is totally okay with the marriage and is not really regretting it or something but its just that he's to shaken up because of the sudden changes in his life and that though he has readily married her and he knows that this is a very very serious relationship that he has entered, he is still a little in panic as this is all very new for him and he will need sometime to accept all this... That said he is going to need to get over it soon and start trying to take a step towards making the marriage a success ... in fact even Diya (though she's doing just fine) can try to handle it better as that will pacify Ratan a little bit... but even she is having a little trouble too as even she had to get into a relationship where she saw no future... she too is disturbed and will need time to get used to the reality... Your post is just too too too awesome as you've perfectly weighed both thier situations and expertly explained how it was really necessary for them to get married like this in such a rushed and forced manner because otherwise there was NO WAY that Diya would consider Ratan as anything more than a friend or as her Daata Hukum ... there would have been a really really slight chance that maybe Ratan would start developing a little crush on her because of how emotionally strong and amazingly gorgeous and extremely protective of Ratan she is... THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE BEST POST ON THIS FORUM!!!
Edited by mrs_weasley - 7 years ago
pranurosid thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: nancy505

Bang on foresight,

You said everything in a logical and though I am an emotional fool so I always curse Ratan. But your post is like what people say...opened my eyes and I hope my eyes will be still open when Ratan is doing his immature notanki behavior 😡 The thing is that its very hard to control anger when I watch him throwing Diya's bangles 😡. But still I will try 😃, I don't know about others.

Agree with you..Even I couldn't control my anger on him when he behaves harsh or stupidly with Diya😉

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