Naitik vs vishambar

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Charu

@Krinya

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Posted: 7 years ago

Yesterday when naitik reprimanded dadi over throwing naira out of the house , I was reminded of vishambhar ..I was thinking how good , balanced , related able , proud father was vishambhar..Naitik cN learn a lesson or two from him ..Watch the episodes where akshara is shown the door during nandini fiasco...And see the difference in the father's approach ..He is hurt , his daughter is humiliated , he doesn't go to her sasural with ak 47 ..

Today , I won't say naitik is right or wrong but he stooped to the level of kartiks dadi..Without knowing the complete truth without talking to his daughter or son In law , he just rained abuses on dadi ..Tell me one thing ..How will it benefit naira ? I don't support kdadi, I know she is brute , ruthless , selfish, conservative and what not ..But aren't these the same people with whom his daughter will be spending her life with ? Kartik actually behaved like a joru ka ghulam , n today if he doesn't open his mouth that it's his duty also to protect his wife's honour and he can confront his family , it will be a writing on the wall..

Naitik trusts kartik's love ? That's why naitik can go around bad mouthing his family ? I am not discussing right or wrong mind it ..Whether goenka were right or wrong , what happened blah blah...If anyone had the right to reprimand dadi , it was naira kartik or manish ..Not naitik..and not this way...N I wo t get into beti wale ka haque either ..Haque ke saath responsiblity bhi hoti hai...This kinda behavior , giving them property papers in front of their family is so horribly wrong ..Can't kartik give naira a good life without goenka surname ?

What makes him think his other beti will feel good about " this much insult " because acc to him isse zyada he won't insult ...Forget other beti, will his own beti be happy ? Naitik could have stopped dadi when she was stealing the shankh..If shankh has a special meaning , whatever , what was the shankh doing in singhania sadan then? He just hit the goenka family below the belt ..You know a person is guilty ..Make a public spectacle out of it ? Just what kdadi did..Tit for tat na..If naitik is right then kdadi should also be right ? To each their own thinking ..

Dadi was correct to point out bhabhi a throwing akshara out ..Please , how can naitik defend bhabhi ma ? She was in shock for how many years ? An d for How long was she angry ? What about bhabhi ma's perspective of right and wrong ? Isn't he throwing a fit in anger ? How does he justify him showing his wife the door then ? Yes kdadi will never be sorry ..And with this kinda behavior shown by Naitik , how many more taunts and blames will his daughter bear ..Bhagwan jaane ..A share of blame goes to every single person here .. manish apologizing , we know it was forced , naitik was successful in bringing them to knees..seriously , very immature and callous behavior by Naitik ..Supporting daughtrr means everything but this ..

Edited by _charu_ - 7 years ago

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xyze

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Posted: 7 years ago

I would say that the whole thing wasn't executed/ worded well.

I remember an episode of the show satyamev jayate, where this lady came and said that you should not give your daughter dowry, give her property if you can.

I can relate that throwing out naira out of the house, no matter what was the cause, was a reason to worry. Wrong is wrong, whether done to akshara or to naira. Instead of saying that Bhabhi Maa's reason was understandable, naitik should have said that it was wrong and that is why he too left the house with akshara and returned only when Bhabhi Maa apologized. That would have also justified the property thing to some extent.

I kind of like the fact that naitik gave them a piece of his mind that his daughter is not a doll to be played with...( Naira lets those people use her, is a different issue altogether). Again, that was not worded properly. It became too specific about the shankh n the throwing out issue n the main reason was not focussed on.

I also support naitik giving naira property...but again that could have been done in such a better way and could have given out such an important message. The property should have been only for naira n not naira n Karthik joint. His responsibility as a father is to make sure of his daughter's future n financial stability, why drag Kartik and put him in a spot of choosing between consoling his father in law n standing up for his independence ( and his family's pride). Had it been only for naira, the goenkas didn't have any right to interfere.

Goenkas are too egoistic and rich to digest naitik involving kartik's name in the property.

Now coming to the comparison between naitik and vishambar, I agree that the latter had a calm n respectful way of dealing with the singhanias that helped resolve the issue and not create a bigger one. But then, even singhanias were a lot better than goenkas. I hate the way the goenkas make a big deal about saying sorry to naira n her family. Yesterday also, had it not been kirti's sasural dadi n Manish wouldn't have listened or said sorry. Daddaji,though conservative, did consider akshara as his own daughter.

I am kind of doubtful that vishambar's approach would have made much difference here. The reaction would have been the same from dadi, n may be Manish wouldn't have said sorry also. N most probably toh naira would have asked her father to let go, as usual.

Edited by xyze - 7 years ago

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Charu

@Krinya

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Posted: 7 years ago

@xyze , I understand your point completely and this is what I was also trying to say..There is a way to approach a problem , but when it's related to your daughter's sasural , you must practise caution as any action will affect her position in sasural..How is she going to deal with it justifying both the sides ? As such it's worse time for her because everyone is of the opinion that kartik is naira's ghulam ..Yes goenkas deserve to be taught a lesson but how will this help ? Is dadi sorry is manish sorry ?

I understand naira is getting a rough deal but frankly it's her and her husband's problem to adjust and make them understand , I repeat IF they want to live with these people ..It's not that singhanias didnt know what they are getting into ..Goenkas ka true colors was visible before marriage too..Their thinking and their dislike for naira wasn't hidden to anyone ..Just because they trusted kartik they gave naira's hand to kartik right...Then trust your sil and daughter to sort it out ..Where was he when his daughter needed him ? Where were singhanias , where was naksh where was kartik ? And why did naira stayed mute and took the blame? Does he know ? Did he ask her ?

Reg property papers , according to law a share of property will be owned by daughters , what's wrong is naitik 's reason and his distrust shown on kartik ...They def do not need his property if they move out , kartik didn't accept thei r help earlier also ..Why hurt his self respect ? Naitik can give anything to naira , he need not declare it and show off that his daughter can move out anytime because she has her maayka behind her..Will they not blame naitik that he is creating a rift in the family ?

As you said it was bad execution ..Such matters should be dealt with maturity and sensibly ..I brought in vishambar bec during those times , every nuance , every small detail was taken care of and handled really well...Here , turn by turn everyone goes ballistic and half of the episodes they are saying sorries and making plans to manao the other ..

Edited by _charu_ - 7 years ago

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..Kavi..

@..Kavi..

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Posted: 7 years ago

@_charu_ I would almost completely disagree with your thought process. Yes, it is a matter b/w Karthik-Naira and their family, but Naitik is Naira's father! If he feels she is being mistreated then he has every right to speak up. Also, I think this whole mentality that it is his daughter's sasural and he should exercise caution is wrong. That mentality is why women may be facing abuse and their families won't even realize because they don't want to look too far into their daughter's lives. If KDadi and Manish cannot be bothered to respect Naira, or even Naira's family property (i.e. the shankh) then how can they expect respect from Naira's family? Also as far as him giving the property to Naira, I think it was a great thing for him to do, at least the Goenkas will have some sort of idea that Naira isn't some helpless person they can push around. Now Karthik-Naira have a place to go if ever such a situation arises, without feeling like they have to directly ask Naitik or the Singhanias for help.

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Charu

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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: ..Kavi..
@_charu_ I would almost completely disagree with your thought process. Yes, it is a matter b/w Karthik-Naira and their family, but Naitik is Naira's father! If he feels she is being mistreated then he has every right to speak up. Also, I think this whole mentality that it is his daughter's sasural and he should exercise caution is wrong. That mentality is why women may be facing abuse and their families won't even realize because they don't want to look too far into their daughter's lives. If KDadi and Manish cannot be bothered to respect Naira, or even Naira's family property (i.e. the shankh) then how can they expect respect from Naira's family? Also as far as him giving the property to Naira, I think it was a great thing for him to do, at least the Goenkas will have some sort of idea that Naira isn't some helpless person they can push around. Now Karthik-Naira have a place to go if ever such a situation arises, without feeling like they have to directly ask Naitik or the Singhanias for help.

Think you should read my post again ..My biggest complaint was the way it was executed , in a crass manner...or may be each one of them be it singhanias or goenkas deserve it for their foolishness ...I only said naitik acted like dadi...he didn't need to fall to her level ...If tomorrow dadi gives kirti property papers ,and tell her sh e and her husband are better off alone , we will applaud singhanias to give her an earful...Of course in the serial it's a forgotten story ...They gave a good enuf message by kartik standing up for naira ...Naitik can def show his support without disrespecting them..I don't know , may be I am old fashioned too, arguments and fights only lead to bitterness , ultimately his daughter will be living with the same people ..Or he must work out and actually make her settle away from the family...the major point is, his views are different from naira, so ask her first what she wants ..There is. A better way to approach every problem ..I don't expect everyone to understand ..However I'd prefer watching naira not acting this idiotic in future ..Yr is far from realistic and abuse is a big word ..If cvs believed that naira was abused they should have dealt with it with sensitivity and seriousness ..Here she was apologizing to dadi , and yesterday also she admitted she was wrong too..

..My thought process , like it happens with everyone , is only influenced by m y life experience ..As a daughter and daughter in law , it's best to sort out your family issues on your own , within a limit...and as a mother of 2 daughters , I would wish to empower my daughters to fight their own battles as any issue in their sasural or with their husbands will be theirs..they will have their parents backing them always ..Anything which you are not an eye witness to , you cannot judge ,correctly , your sense of right and wrong will not work , you will be biased , for everyone their children are right ..

Thx for replying ...I understand your point as well😊

Edited by _charu_ - 7 years ago

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abhilasha_dream

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Posted: 7 years ago

I have started watching this serial only after Karthik - Naira wedding so I really dunno about the past episodes.

But I agree with the TM that Naitik came in like a raging bull. The dialogues were not executed properly and that "sankh", "property papers" , and "Keerthi" was brought into the discussion only to bully the Goenkas so that they bend. The main topic which was his daughter thrown away got burried underneath.

Dadi's did say that she did question Naira about it but only when she failed to speak up, she in a rage threw her out. This step was wrong as she should have waited for the husband to return. Other than that Dadi being angry on Naira was legitimate as it was Naira's decision to get her own dignity shredded to save her friends honour. Here Naira and Dadi both were wrong.

Did any of the Goenkas apologised heartily or was Naitik's anger genuine - NO.

Manish apologised only when Keerthi was brought into the conversation by Naitik, reminding them their daughter was in Singhania house and this may hamper her ties and also because Naitik in a way told them about 'shankh' because of which they were already embarrassed , but he wasnt sorry from his heart.

Dadi tore the property papers and apologised but she wasn't apologetic too. She bent down as again 'property papers' came in between to embarrass their family. She clearly said at the end - "that she doesn't think that her step was wrong as it was in the name of saving her family's dignity and name.' So in future if any such thing arises , she will do the same thing exactly.

Naitik's anger also couldn't be justified . He questioned the Goenkas but let go if his family . Why did not he question his family members as why did not they object when Dadi threw Naira out of the house ? Why were they all still inside the house instead of atleast one person going out and looking after the girl ?

His step of naming few property in Naira's name was correct , but this step was taken to show Goenkas down and not for Naira's well being. If he was so worried about Naira 's future, he could have silently called Naira to his office or house one day and asked her to sign the papers and explained her the reason of why he took such a step. But 'NO' he did not do so coz that step was not for Naira's future but a slap on Goenkas faces.

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Charu

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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: abhilasha_dream
I have started watching this serial only after Karthik - Naira wedding so I really dunno about the past episodes.

But I agree with the TM that Naitik came in like a raging bull. The dialogues were not executed properly and that "sankh", "property papers" , and "Keerthi" was brought into the discussion only to bully the Goenkas so that they bend. The main topic which was his daughter thrown away got burried underneath.

Dadi's did say that she did question Naira about it but only when she failed to speak up, she in a rage threw her out. This step was wrong as she should have waited for the husband to return. Other than that Dadi being angry on Naira was legitimate as it was Naira's decision to get her own dignity shredded to save her friends honour. Here Naira and Dadi both were wrong.

Did any of the Goenkas apologised heartily or was Naitik's anger genuine - NO.

Manish apologised only when Keerthi was brought into the conversation by Naitik, reminding them their daughter was in Singhania house and this may hamper her ties and also because Naitik in a way told them about 'shankh' because of which they were already embarrassed , but he wasnt sorry from his heart.

Dadi tore the property papers and apologised but she wasn't apologetic too. She bent down as again 'property papers' came in between to embarrass their family. She clearly said at the end - "that she doesn't think that her step was wrong as it was in the name of saving her family's dignity and name.' So in future if any such thing arises , she will do the same thing exactly.

Naitik's anger also couldn't be justified . He questioned the Goenkas but let go if his family . Why did not he question his family members as why did not they object when Dadi threw Naira out of the house ? Why were they all still inside the house instead of atleast one person going out and looking after the girl ?

His step of naming few property in Naira's name was correct , but this step was taken to show Goenkas down and not for Naira's well being. If he was so worried about Naira 's future, he could have silently called Naira to his office or house one day and asked her to sign the papers and explained her the reason of why he took such a step. But 'NO' he did not do so coz that step was not for Naira's future but a slap on Goenkas faces.

Thx a lot..My point exactly 😛

There was no need to stress upon " if they misbehave with you again here are the property papers " the logic is flawed..Two bringing kirti and shankh was wrong too ..And goenkas we all know were not sorry but apologized because of kirti ..Naitik could have openly expressed his resentment without bullying ..The main motive is make them" realize" their mistake ..Did it happen ? More than naitik , I liked what kartik told dadi (except for bhajan gao of naira)

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Miss-Behave

@Miss-Behave

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Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: _charu_

Thx a lot..My point exactly 😛

There was no need to stress upon " if they misbehave with you again here are the property papers " the logic is flawed..Two bringing kirti and shankh was wrong too ..And goenkas we all know were not sorry but apologized because of kirti ..Naitik could have openly expressed his resentment without bullying ..The main motive is make them" realize" their mistake ..Did it happen ? More than naitik , I liked what kartik told dadi (except for bhajan gao of naira)

The reason behind bringing up the shankh was to make the goenka's realise that where they constantly accuse and disrespect naira in every given situation, she cares so much for their dignity that she sneaked the shankh back into singhania house without telling the family. Naithik himself said it that she cares so much for all of you which is why she told nobody when she silently put the shankh back. There was nothing wrong about naithik saying that.

Also where everyone has been mentioning that dadi actually gave naira an opportunity to explain herself when she was accused of abortion, with even dadi making this claim, this is mostly false, because I've gone back and read the written update for 1st jan 2018 episode, where that happened and even rewatched that scene. Dadi when confronting naira asked naira whether she got an abortion done, and although she already knows the answer to this she thought she would ask her anyways, but then sakshi's fiance anubhav butted in immediately, with dadi actually just listening to sakshi's fiance speak crap about naira including him accusing naira of having been pregnant and getting an abortion, then dadi said she already knew this was true but she had a bit of hope it wasn't true, and immediately just started insulting naira. Then naira said this isn't true, and dadi stopped her telling naira not to say a word and started scolding and insulting her. Then dadi decided to kick her out. So in actually dadi asked her, but instead listened to that anubhav when he spoke in between, and she never actually gave naira a chance to speak. You guys can all go back and rewatch it if you want, so dadi technically has selective memory, as she remembers asking her once, but not that she didn't actually wait for naira to speak at all and listened ti some outsider talk, then shut naira up when she told her it wasn't true.

Edited by sammy17 - 7 years ago

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Charu

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Posted: 7 years ago

@sammy naitik bringing in the shankh topic washed away nairas effort of putting it back silently ,..

Dont read the update , watch that episode, it was horribly directed ..How long does it take for naira to speak "no it's not my fault " she kept on looking at her friend ...when she was being dragged out she couldn't say a simple sentence "it was my friend not me"...Her friend and fiance had no business to be there as dadi ordered every bahaar wala to leave ...Dadi heard naira telling anubhav that she got an abortion done , what more proof does she need ..Correct she believed naira did it ...May be she wanted the family to know this , hence asked her again but in her mind it was clear coz she heard it from naira's mouth only ...If dadi trusted naira itna drama hi na hota..How can naitik accuse these people when his own family except for naksh didn't speak for naira at that time ?

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Anamta

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Posted: 7 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: _charu_
@sammy naitik bringing in the shankh topic washed away nairas effort of putting it back silently ,..

Dont read the update , watch that episode, it was horribly directed ..How long does it take for naira to speak "no it's not my fault " she kept on looking at her friend ...when she was being dragged out she couldn't say a simple sentence "it was my friend not me"...Her friend and fiance had no business to be there as dadi ordered every bahaar wala to leave ...Dadi heard naira telling anubhav that she got an abortion done , what more proof does she need ..Correct she believed naira did it ...May be she wanted the family to know this , hence asked her again but in her mind it was clear coz she heard it from naira's mouth only ...If dadi trusted naira itna drama hi na hota..How can naitik accuse these people when his own family except for naksh didn't speak for naira at that time ?

@bold that's true Singhanias are no better than Goenkas.

Regarding Vishamber his approach was appropriate for Akshara's time and Naitik's approach is appropriate for Naira's time but he should have blasted his own family too for silently watching that tamasha.

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Naitik vs vishambar

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