Laughs -- Lawyer's Trip Over

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Man

@Manzz

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Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

'Thank you for winning the case,' said the grateful client to her solicitor. He had won her 10,000 pounds from the local council as she had tripped over an uneven paving slab on the pavement and injured her leg.
It was a pleasure,' said the solicitor, handing the client his bill.

The client took the bill, then frowned: 'This bill is pretty steep. Is it right?'

'Of course,' replied the solicitor. 'It represents good value for all our time, care, experience, expertise and legal knowledge. If it wasn't for us, you wouldn't have won the case.'

'Nut your costs are almost half the damages,' replied the client. 'If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have had a case.'

'But,' said the solicitor, 'anyone can trip over a paving slab.

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Lawyer goes to Heaven

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?" St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Lawyers in Heaven

It seems that a devout, good couple was about to get married, but a tragic car accident ended their lives.
When they got to heaven, they asked St. Peter if he could arrange for them to be married, saying that it was what they had hoped for in life, and they still desired wedded union. He thought about it and agreed, but said they would have to wait.

It was almost one hundred years later when St. Peter sent for them. They were married in a simple ceremony.

So things went on, for thirty years or so, but they determined, in this time, that eternity was best not spent together.

They went back to St. Peter, and said, "We thought we would be happy forever, but now we believe that we have irreconcilable differences. Is there any way we can get divorced?"

"Are you kidding?" said St. Peter. "It took me a hundred years to get a priest up here to marry you. I'll never get a lawyer!"

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Holding a Grudge

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:

"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."

The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million."

The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well you are wrong. Hi Dan!"

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Lawyer vs. Bear

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on.

The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to out run that bear!"

"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to out run you."

Edited by Manzz - 17 years ago

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

A Jury Full of Lawyers

A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.

It was nearly 4 P. M. And getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury. The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom.

The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited. After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict.

When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"

The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position

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Laughs -- Lawyer's Trip Over

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