Laughs -- Automobile Accident

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Man

@Manzz

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Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Automobile Accident

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?"

The witness: "Yes, sir."

The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"

The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."

The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"

The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me this silly question."

Edited by Manzz - 17 years ago

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Old Man on his Deathbed

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery."

"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."

The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Coroner

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner. The attorney asked, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"

"No," the coroner replied.

The attorney then asked, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"

The coroner said, "No."

"Did you check for breathing?", asked the attorney.

Again the coroner replied, "No."

The attorney asked, "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"

The coroner, now tired of the brow beating said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Q: What's wrong with Lawyer jokes?

A: Lawyers don't think they're funny, and nobody else thinks they are jokes!

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

When asked, "What is a contingent fee?" a lawyer answered, "A contingent fee to a lawyer means, if I don't win your suit, I get nothing. If I do win it, you get nothing."

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 5

Posted: 17 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of lawyers. They called down to ground control with their list of demands and added that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

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Laughs -- Automobile Accident

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