Laughs -- Grandma Football

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Posted: 17 years ago
#1
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.


Grandma Football

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her.
'Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news,' suggested the eldest son.

The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him.

'Now, you don't have to worry about anything,' said the doctor. 'I am fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe if left to me.'

The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the conversation around to football pools.

'Tell me,' said the doctor, 'what would you do if you had a large win on the pools - say one million pounds?'

'Why,' replied the old lady, 'I'd give half of it to you, of course.'

The doctor fell down dead with shock.

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Manzz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#2
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.


Attractive Patient

The doctor had just finished examining the very attractive young girl.
Doctor: 'Have you been going out with men, Miss Jones?'

Miss Jones: 'Oh. no, doctor, never!'

Doctor: 'Are you quite sure? Bearing in mind that I've now examined the sample you sent, do you still say you've never had anything to do with men?'

Miss Jones: 'Quite sure, doctor. Can I go now?'

Doctor: 'No.'

Miss Jones: 'But why not?'

Doctor: 'Because, Miss Jones, I'm awaiting the arrival of the Three Wise Men.'
Manzz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#3
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

I tried to follow my doctor's advice and give up smoking cigarettes and try chewing gum instead - but the matches kept getting stuck and the gum wouldn't light.
Manzz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#4
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Last week my friend, Mabel, was feeling terribly ill so her husband 'phoned the doctor's surgery.

'I'm afraid the doctor is busy until 10am Thursday,' said the receptionist.

'But that's three days away! My wife is terribly ill,' pleaded Mabel's husband. 'What if she's dead by then?'

'Well,' replied the receptionist, you can always 'phone and cancel the appointment.'
Manzz thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#5
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

'Doctor, doctor! How can I get this ugly mole off my face?'

'Get your dog to chase it back into its hole.'
Manzz thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 500 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 17 years ago
#6
Laughs


Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Before I went off to India for my summer holidays I asked my doctor how I could avoid getting a disease from biting insects.

He just told me not to bite any.

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