Rishon Ka chakravyuh-Fanfiction

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Jahnavi

@IndianFariyTale

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

Hi,

I write fan fiction when the plot of the actual tv show drives me nuts 😆

So far , I like the way RKC is heading , it has plot holes and wth moments, but overall the show is better that most of the Hindi serials today

The most frustrating characters on screen for me right now are Tanya and Avdoot .

The permanent frustration spot is held by Shri Baldev ji 😆

So you can expect to see the product of my irritation here.

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Jahnavi

@IndianFariyTale

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

This story was inspired by NRI Harry's typically Eve teasing gadha behaviour . The story is fragmented and is a little all over the place . I wrote this mostly because I was so angry and hurt over all the #metoo posts on social media , and Indian tv serials attitude to harassment 😡😡

Also , I really like Poonam as a character . For me , I imagine that as a girl whose survived years in the chakravyuh that is Lal Mahal , she knows how to take care of herself ,thank you very much. Also , I like to think there's no way Anami hasn't taught her dost a few defensive moves .

Tables Turned :

"Hello, Poonam"

She heard the slick, cool voice , recognised it, even as she straightened up from the pool table. Harry .

The door slammed shut, the sound of the bolts sliding in, echoing in the empty room . Dhiraj and Akash had left , of course. Cowards . To think she has wasted a Rakhi on them .

She swallowed past the fear coating her throat , forced herself to push past the panic , look the monster in the eye .

Poonam willed her voice to sound calm, unperturbed. "There's a Pooja in the house ,Harry . They'll be looking for me . Open the doors. " She doubted reason would work , but then one never knew what worked with a beast , and she'd met plenty.

He advanced , wordlessly ,the twisted grin on his face spreading . Icy fear threatened to swallow her whole . This library was at the far end of the house , nobody could hear over the sounds of the conch and the drums .She twisted away, pushing herself , buying precious minutes . His eyes gleamed. She shifted ,felt the cool metal against her waist . Of course ! She'd nearly forgotten .

A distraction, she needed to distract him, divert attention.

Behind her back, her hand closed around pool balls. Poonam forced her voice to turn pleading , mask the rage . Her fingers tightened around the coloured balls. "Please Harry, I'm sorry , Anami shouldn't have spoken to you like that. Let me go , and I'll ask her to apologise to you ". He leered , " oh she's going to be sorry all right" , his hands stretched , grabbed her waist . Her arms swung out .

He never expected the pool ball.

His hands cradled his head . Stars danced in front of his eyes , she slid free . Even as he tottered , struggling to find balance . He bellowed " Poonam , you bitch , I'm going to kill you .

Harry heard her laughter , before he felt the sharp sting of metal against his neck.

" That would be tough Harry , considering I'm the one with the knife." Sweat trickled down his back.

She grinned " That's the beauty of a foldable knife , you can take it anywhere , even tuck it into the waist of your saree . The handle really goes with my blouse , don't you think ? I've been waiting to try it out "

She was lying. It was probably It was probably fake , wasn't it? Ya , that's what it was . He swallowed ," Ok Poonam, I was just joking, trying to scare you a little , but let's say you win ok ?" Harry chuckled nervously , trying to slide away.

The long blade didn't move an inch . Her voice turned cold " You try to wiggle away again , you bas***d , and I will cut you." He opened his mouth meaning to scream, when the blade broke skin . Her hollow laughter echoed , do you really think the two outside will care for screams ? You probably told them to ignore it , even if they can hear anything." Scared are you ?" She whispered in his ears .

Shit , he'd picked a psycho . She was actually going to cut him .

" Look I'm sorry , he began .. " The blade dug deeper , a thin trickle of blood stained his white jacket . "Tch .. Tch .. Should have thought of that earlier , white boy . I could leave you here. Bleeding . Nobody would even know.But there's a Pooja I have to get to. Now , ask the cowards outside to open the doors outside , before I change my mind."

She was letting him go after all. Thank god . The relief was immense , as he watched her walk out of the door. He'd get the bitch later .

She whirled , knife in hand " oh !and Harry , if you even think of catching me later , you'll be talking to my friend - Inspector Adiraj in the CBI , he's right here in the Pooja . "

Edited by IndianFariyTale - 7 years ago

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.......... Deeksha..........

@...Deeksha....

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

I think you should post ff also in main forum as this serial is just 3 months old.

By the way nice start.

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Jahnavi

@IndianFariyTale

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

Originally posted by: ...Deeksha...
I think you should post ff also in main forum as this serial is just 3 months old.
By the way nice start.

Thank you 😃

Which one is the main one though ?

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Jahnavi

@IndianFariyTale

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

This one is a Tanya /Avdhhot one . It was created because I cannot stand this whole almost too sweet innocent Tanya Devi on screen 🤢. If she is it , for Avdhoot , she has a LOOONG way to go . This sweet si cute si avatar won't stand a chance against him .

Also , this is pre belt scene . That scene but Avdhoot in a whole new dimension for me . It shocked me yes , but also added insight and plot ideas in my head 😆. So, here we go

Layers:

She's not just the sweet, naive ,bubbly girl he thought her to be , and it's a shock to his system.

The first few times they hang out , she's agreeable to all that he says . Bobbing her head , dimples peeking in a shy smile . He tries to bait her , says preposterous things , and all she does is nod . Tanya is pretty , no doubt , but she bores him brainless. He wonders how the hell Anami is friends with her .

It's been two weeks and he's had almost enough of her . She's just another of the flunkies, and he has enough of those, thank you very much. The only thing stopping him, is the obvious glimmer of pride in his father's eyes , every time they discuss the mission.

He's standing at the periphery of the circle, waiting for her to get out of class. At the centre is the bumbling fool of a boy . A boy, who had dared to dent his BMW this morning , and walk away . Now he's paying for it. Avdhoot watches as another punch rains down on the looser , now crawling on the floor , trying to gather the books that lay scattered . Fool.

He's barely blinked , when she's in the middle of the ruckus . Determinedly pulling boys twice her weight off, standing as a barrier between the boy on the floor , and his thugs .Tanya's voice is sharp,and he carries clear across " Stop it assholes . Leave Vinay alone . Avdhoot straightens , he's curious . There's something about her tone and the fire in her voice . He wants to know more . A finger raised , and the thugs move away . Vinay will live to see another day after all. She's hardly noticed him, busy tending to the boy on the floor , muttering curses under her breath, he didn't know she knew. He's intrigued .

Days later, when she declines his offer to join him at ,Coastline restobar. He's stunned . Females usually don't say no to him, especially not this one . Avdhoot discovers it's the first of the rejections he hears from her that week. Strangely it only leaves him more interested than before . Smile in place , dimples out in full force she says no to all that he asks . Movies,lunch , walks drives . He vaguely wonders if she's playing him, just as he is .

On a Saturday morning he resorts to following her . He feels odd , like the cheap creep in movies , it's unlike him to have to try this hard . Staring into the windows of an orphanage, he's cold and uncomfortably damp from the afternoon shower . This is not Avdhoot Punjan Singh's style at all. He should walk in , demand that she meet him. Except it's oddly fascinating, watching her teach self defence and later English to a bunch of tiny kids .

And so he stands , in the drizzle ,nose pressed against a window. Tanya is patient, endlessly correcting postures and pronunciations. He's never witnessed that kind of tolerance for slip ups and mistakes before . Avdhoot watches mesmerised ; when she winks at him, he hits his head hard on the open window pane . He's furious at the medley of giggles from within . The spell breaks.

It is only the deal he's made with his father that prevents him from stalking away . Standing on the covered veranda , watching the rain fall, he plots , adjusts his plans to fit the new facets of the girl he's discovering .

Joining her at the street side dhaba , after the debacle at the orphanage was planned . But he hadn't accounted for enjoying debating with her over pipping hot chai and parathas . They talk , even as noon gives way to night . It's been a long time since he's felt this free . Much later , as dusk falls and they're finally heading home her words ring in his head " I like this version of you much better. "

Foolish , stupid . He had been the biggest moron to have invited her to the Durga puja . He wasn't entirely sure why he's done it . Except that he'd enjoyed the late night conversations that ran to dawn , the bike rides in the rain , and just being able to breathe . He'd needed her to be there. Things were changing at Lal Mahal , and he could barely keep up. His mother had moved to a separate room, his dad kept mumbling about plans in whiskey laden stupor . It was a miracle Tanya hadn't figured his full identity yet .

She looked stunning . He wanted to take her away , away from the craziness that his goddamn family was . Drop the god awful plan .

Much later , he watched as his mother defended the bas***d Harry . His kurta felt tight , and Poonam's Rakhi on his wrist was a manacle . His fists clenched , who was to say Harry wouldn't hit on Tanya next ? But was he really that different ? He'd had her followed , harassed , before he faked his entry as her rescuer .He somehow doubted Tanya would understand .

Edited by IndianFariyTale - 7 years ago

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Rishon Ka chakravyuh-Fanfiction

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