Zubiya's stride became more determined and with Lubina auntie's words echoing in her ears, " Asfi , mera Asfi ko Zubiya tum achi lagti ho , woh tum se shadi karna chahta hai, " she had held her hand and kissed her knuckles, " beta Asfi na tumhari wajhe se phir se zindgai jeena seek liya hai. tum na hum sab ko pura Asfi wapise daiya hai, " she had said with tears of joy in her eyes.
Her adoring smile and the spark in her eyes while saying it haunted zubiya's thoughts. In her haste to do what she thought was the right thing before she lost the nerve, Zubiya's foot hit with a stone. She felt a lump just as big was stuck in her throat too. Asfand's words kept ringing in her ears " agar tum saath ho gai tou meri sari muskla eshan hojai gai." She wiped the tears that ran down her eyes.
"aap kuch nahi janta hain mera bara mein Asfandyar, " she mustered up her courage once again, " mujhe aaj un se baat karni hai." Taking a deep breath in, Zubiya entered his cabin without bothering to knock and found a big smile on his face upon seeing her.
" Zubiya! " he welcomed.
" Dr Asfandyar aap na auntie se kya kaha hai humara bara mein? " clenching the seat back to support herself she asked him. He didnt reply, just grinned at her.
"Mein aap se shadi nahi kar sakti " she said loud and clear , " aur mein serious hoon " she grounded her teeth and Asfand turned serious.
"kya tum kisi ko pasand karti ho? " he raised his eyebrows at her. She shook her head. " Ya mein tum ko acha nahi lagta?" he smirked.
" mein na shadi nahi karni, kabhi bhi kaise se bhi nahi" she said putting emphasis on her words. Asfand looked at her clenched hands on the seat back and noticed a palour in her complexion. "Tum theek ho?" he asked, concerned.
Zubiya's resolve started to break, her legs were trembling and her eyes started to tear up. She bit her lip to prevent herself from breaking down in front of Dr Asfand, she abruptly turned and walked out of his cabin. Every step away from him was every step out of his life and if that single thought didn't break her, nothing ever would.
" Aik bar phir, waqt ne dubara wahin la ker khara Kar dia he Jahan me apna Sab kuch apne e hathon se barbaad kr rahi hun. Sab kuch! Ya Allah mein na suna hai aap apna pasandeeda logo ka imtehan lata hain per haar dafa mujhay isi imtehan me kiun dala jata he? Kia mere lye hamesha mehroom rehna hi likha he?" Muttering to herself, Zubiya walked along corridor hurriedly. All she wanted right now was get to her mess, hide herself in her pillow and give in to her tears.
" Suno!" Her steps halted on her own as she heard him approach her.
"I'm sorry agr Meri wajah se tumhari feelings hurt hui hein...mujhay laga...i thought that we were on the same page.. that.. you liked me too, aur hum saath mein achi zindgai guzar sakta hain" he paused his words waiting for her response.
"Dr. Asfand! Please aap iss waqt muhjay akeela chor dain... please! " A sob escaped her unwillingly and he took a step forward.
Asfand looked around torn between confronting her and respecting her wish, "andhera ho raha hai "
" meri zindagi kai tarah " she murmured to herself and started walking again.
Asfand did hear her, shook his head and decided to follow her to her mess to make sure she gets there safely, maintaining his distance.
Zubiya, oblivious to her follower, kept on walking thinking about all what she was about to lose once again. It wasn't until she reached a narrow path in the dark that her resolve shattered, she sank to her knees and burst into tears.
Asfand couldn't stop himself and rushed to her side, " Zubiya! kya hogaya hai, nahi karni shadi na karo , no one is forcing you to," he said, sounding exasperated. " Mein sub ko ghar ja kar mana kardo ga aaj ka baad koi ye baat nahi kara ga " he was trying calm her.
Zubiya's eyes filled up once again and this time she didn't hide them from him. " woh sab muhje se naarza hojai ga, mein aik bar phir sara rishta kho doon gai " she was sobbing like a small kid now who was about to lose her most precious thing.
" koi naraz nahi hoga tum ghar pehla kai tarah aao gai, " he soothed her, " i will always be a good friend to you."
" aap ko kuch bhi yaad nahi hai kya?" she whispered, her eyes haunted. He gave her blank look.
"Kia nahi yad?" he asked, " Tum mujhe per aitbaar kar ka tou dekho " he looked at her, his eyes willing her to trust him, but all he found was a broken soul unwilling to let anyone in.
" mein aap ka aitbaar ka qabal nahi hoon Asfand mein kaise cheeze ka qabal nahi hoon , muhje ko tou mera abbi aur bhai na bhi apnanay se inkar kardiya tha aap kaise muhje se shadi ka bara mein soch saktay hain? " She said in a low voice and suddenly ran towards the mess.
" Kis baray mein baat kar rahi thi yeh?" He wondered to himself and tried to recollect where he had seen that haunted face before. It was the expression on her face more than her words that jogged his memory from before. " Karcahi, " he murmured and suddenly put two and two together. "Zubiya , was the girl with Rameeze, " all the pieces started to fit in and he held his head in his hands, "oh God! don't tell me!! mein na iss sa jab jab bola tum aik achi larki ho she took me in that sense."
"Zubiya! " he took a step forward but stopped as there was a big gate between them now.
Zubiya reached her room, threw her bag and fell on the bed " kabhi mera kaise na itna khayal nahi rakha jitna Dr Asfand na rakha hai , mera apno na kabhi muhje se nahi pocha k tum thek ho" Her tears wouldn't stop as she recollected all the sweet moments between them " Dr Asfand tou mera chehra dekhe kar jaan lata hain ka mein pershan hoon " she wondered,wiping her tears. Her cell vibrated from somewhere beneath her. It was him. As much as she wanted to ignore she opened it still.
" Love you more darling whatever your past or present. But your future is me or you can say, US " a smile appeared on her lips this time.
Asfand stared at his cell screen, knowing she wouldn't reply. He took a deep breath "Zubiya i can wait for you"
Raat dhalnee to hai
Aane ujalay to hain
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