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Hola Amigos đ¤
Likhavat â¤ď¸ â¤ď¸...
I never thought I would write again..Ever!!
But Zoya n Sara came up with Likhavat n I participated!
The theme was very difficult one to write upon n I was in denial.But Zoya made me write..She pushed me to give it a try.I tried n failed n again tried. She supported me whenever I felt like giving up.At last, I completed it and The appreciation I got, my heartâ¤ď¸.Thank you guys, each one of you who read, liked n voted for it.Means a lotâ¤ď¸
Banner Credit: Reshma (Perpetuity)â¤ď¸
Shikayatein is very close to my heart, very special for me and I would love to dedicate it to one special person here, to Zoya.
Shikayatein wouldn't have happened without your support Zoya.Thank you, for supporting me, for being there n for everything.I love you!â¤ď¸
Banner Credit: Zoya (Orion23) â¤ď¸
NOTE- Guys this is a revamped version of Shikayatein.New bits are added and the ending is edited too. So without further ado, here's Shikayatein (Revamped)..
*****
The night was dark and stormy , sky was tar-black and large clouds began to gather in the sky. The harsh and cold wind was blowing and thunder along with lightning cascaded in the sky giving away a clear sign of heavy downpour. Where everybody rushed towards their home, she was sitting in a complete silence alone deep in thoughts... looking into nothingness.
Her soul was screaming but no voice came out.Her heart was crying but eyes were empty.Her insides were ripping apart but her face had no sign of pain.It was expressionless and emotionless.
"Toh wahan sabko preshaan kar ke madam yaha baithi hain... Ghar chaliye Miss Tiwari, everybody is worried there." Said Shravan mockingly. He knew where Sumo could be when nobody had any inkling of where she was at this hour. So he came for her or for himself, he didn't know.
"I want to be left alone.Go away." She knew he would come.But loneliness was all that she needed..at least for now.
Where Sumo was lost in her own thoughts, Shravan was surprised by her answer.The girl who wanted attention for as long as I remember, now wanted to be left alone? Why?...Whatever, Why do I care?
"Cool then.Do whatever you want.I don't care."Having said it, he turned and walked towards his car but stopped when he heard loud thundering. No matter what , he cant leave her alone there.Why cant I see her in trouble.Damn you heart for still harboring the same feelings for her and damn you my mixed feelings.He kicked the tire of the car forcefully in frustration and came back to where she was,after a moment.
"Nanu is worried sick for you.So plz leave that attitude of yours n get up." Said Shravan rather aggravatingly.The anger was directed more towards her for dismissing him or himself for coming back to her...he had no idea.
"I said, Leave me alone" Replied Sumo in a cold voice, still looking ahead, unaffected by the cold water droplets, hoping that you would leave.
"Oh to ab mujhse baat karna bhi gawara nahi tumhe.Fair enough!..I'll leave but I want my answers first Miss Tiwari!" You can't ignore me like that Sumo, I wont let you.
Nanu had asked Sumo to marry Aditya. Already this thought was unbearable for Shravan.And now Sumo's silence from last few days was enough to rile him up.
His guilty father confessed everything 2 days ago.It broke him to no extend. But Sumo?...he thought she will atleast give him an explanation of her decision but no.She hasn't spoken to him since then.He waited for her but to no avail.But now he had had enough. Now he wanted his answers and he'll get them no matter what.
"Ask!!" Sumo said facing him slowly. Knowing very well that he won't leave n she have to face it. It's now or never!
"Really easy for you na just like how it was to leave me?...Why Suman?...Was it that easy to give up on me?" The hurt and anger were evident in his voice.How can you leave me..just like that?
"I didn't give up! It was for the time being because I had no other option." Suman said in a bid to clear her side of the story though she knew, he wont believe her... like always.
"Oh, Chuck it! Option hamesha hota hai basharte aap chaho to.You could have come to me.Mujhe bataati.Main samajhta agar tum mauka deti. Itna to Bharosa kar hi sakti thi" It came out as a whisper at the end.Dejected was what he felt at the moment. Hamesha se mere paas hi aati thi na Sumo..Phir tab kyu nahi aayi?.
"I came Shravan.I came to tell you about the PCT issue thinking that there must be a misunderstanding, that you cant do that, But remember what you said?" Suman frowned , asking him if he believed her then?
"But I really had no idea ab..."
"Mere bataane ke baad bhi kya farak pada Shravan? You out of all people know what PCT means to me and you could see how badly your words hurted me but still, you kept mum...No Actually ,if am not wrong, you threw it on my face that yes Suman Tiwari I did it.Right?...You know how it feels Shravan?..Do you?..Aaye the tum mere paas bataane ke kya hua tha?..nahi... Main bhi samajhti Shravan.Itna bharosa to tum bhi kar hi sakte the." She wanted him to feel the hurt that she had to go through coz of his words that day and he did...He realized and he regretted it all now.N now all he can do is apologize but was it that easy?
"I know n am really sorry for that.I didnt know what to do so I did what I thought was right for the moment." Shravan clarified it but one look at Sumo n something striked.Sumo ne bhi to wahi kiya.
"Sum.."
"No hear me out first.You know what Shravan..its not about me ,Its about you. jab bhi baat tumhaare Papa ki hoti hai na Shravan, mera bharosa bikhar jaata hai...Ya phir shayad ek wajah ye bhi hai ke tum ab tak bacchpan ki Sumo ka diya dard nahi nikaal paaye ho apne dil se.You may have forgiven me but forgetting is what you didnt.N that's why you don't trust me either." Suman knew where all this was coming from.What was the real reason behind Shravan's lack of trust in her.But am I really at fault now, after all these years too?..
"Maybe you are right but papa was always the only one who didn't hurt me...until now at least.N you...you broke me at every given opportunity dammit.Didn't you?...Tum jaanti thi ke main kya bataana chahta tha tumhe us din cafe mein, tumhe pata tha ke mera dil ek baar fir tootega agar tum nahi aayi to, tumhe dikhayi de raha tha ke main toot raha hu tumhaari ignorance ki wajah se par tumne kya kiya.Sirf tamasha dekhti rahi.Har baar mujhe chodkar khud ko chuna tumne.Asal mein main to tumhaare liye last mein aata hu ya shayad exist hi nahi karta." Her ignorance had hurted him the most n he wanted her to realize it.Acknowledgement is what he always wanted and ignorance is what he always got.
"Aisa nahi hai Shra..." Suman wanted to explain but Shravan didn't let her.
"Aisa hi hai.Nahi to kyu maani papa ki shart.Pushkar ya Preeti se baat karti is baare mein.Bacche nahi hai dono.Agar pyaar karte hain ek dusre se to uske liye ladte.Par nahi...tumhe to mahaan banna tha, balidaan ki murat banna tha.Sacchai to ye hai Miss Suman ke ye tumhaari majboori nahi selfishness thi.Yes!!... you were selfish, you are n you'll always be, especially when it comes to me.Mera kya hai.Jaise pehle nikaala tha apni life, waise hi ab nikaal dogi." Huffed Shravan.I am nothing to you Sumo n you proved it time n again.But it hurts more than you'll ever know!
"Enough Shravan!! I know ke maine bohot badi galti ki thi par uska matlab ye nahi hai ke tum uski saza mujhe zindagi bhar doge. Insaan hu main bhi, ho gayi thi galti par uski saza 10 salon tak paayi hai maine or ab bhi bhugat rahi hu. Kya lagta hai tumhe mujhe kuch feel nahi hota? Main jataati nahi iska matlab ye nahi hai ke mujhe dard nahi hota, takleef nahi hoti.
As for me being selfish Mr. Malhotra, well not your fault... Suman was born with a selfish tag... Born to be blamed. Woh Sumo jisne sirf apni khushi ka socha or tumhaara dil toda, wo selfish thi. Suman jo khud ke alawa sabka sochti hai or aaj bhi tumhaara hi dil tod rahi hai, wo bhi selfish hai. Or agar aaj ye Suman apne pyaar ko bhi chunti, tab bhi selfish hi hoti.
Main kuch bhi kar lu, galat hi rahungi... kisi na kisi ko to hurt karungi hi. But nobody cares what I go through. Everybody has their expectations and am killing myself everyday to fulfil them but fir bhi kami reh hi jaati hai. Main toot kar bikharti hu, sambhalti hu par haarti nahi. Hurt is what I felt for as long as I remember. Bas jataana mujhe aata nahi or samjhta koi hai nahi.Tum bhi nahi."The anger and hurt in her voice turned into helplessness.Angry tears mixed with rain water made their way down her face.
If Suman was hurt, Shravan was no less.He cant see her like this, not in this state.He never had it in him.And the thought that he was also responsible for it was unbearable.
"Sumo I..." He started but again intrupted by her.It was her time now.
"Kaun Sumo?..Yahi kaha tha na tumne? Sahi kaha tha tumne Shravan. Koi Sumo nahi hai yaha,sirf Suman hai.It was your hatred towards Sumo that day but it is my helplessness today.You can hate Sumo as much as you want Shravan for whatever she did.Haq banta hai tumhaara but main nahi kar sakti.Sumo galat thi, selfish bhi thi but wo jaisi bhi thi, mera hissa thi.Wo hissa jo apne liye jeena jaanta tha, khush rehna jaanta tha ...wo jo shayad kho gaya hai kahin.Jis din maine tumhe khoya, Sumo ko bhi kho diya.Ab bas Suman hai yaha.Sumo thi selfish shayad but wo at least khush to thi. N am anything but happy."
Bohot maghroor hun main shayad,
Tere Khayalaat aise the;
Par tu kya samjhe meri Uljhan,
Mere haalat kaise the...
By now the rain was falling down constantly like a bucket of water being poured down from the heavens.The bone-chilling cold seemed unbearable in the howling wind and icy rain. The sound of thunder rolled through the area as another lightning bolt split the sky.There was a storm outside n then there was one inside these two.For a few moments, no one spoke.While Sumo paused mustering up the courage , Shravan stood perplexed.He was still struck on 'Kaun Sumo' .So she was there...Oh God!
.He never thought it all from her prospective.N now that he is listening it all from her, it hurts.It hurts to think that he was not there with her when she was bearing it all alone.That she felt so lonely n he was not there.Shravan wanted to say something but Sumo was not done..not yet.
"I know very well how to live like a liability Shravan. I have faced the accusations of Maamiji, whenever she had to compromise with her happiness cause of me all these years. I couldn't let that happen now when it was her biggest happiness. I accept ke Main pehle bhi selfish thi or main aaj bhi selfish hoon. I did it all for my family. But tum bhi to apni family ke liye India chodkar jaa rahe the apne papa ki request ke baad bhi. Apni family ko tootne se bachane ke liye right? Toh Bhaag kyu rahe the? Pushkar samajhdaar hai usse baat karte. Uncle se baat karte or nikaalte koi raasta. Par nahi tumhe to mahaan banna tha...Kyu?
What we both did was for our families but tum karo to tumhaara responsibilities or main karu to selfishness! Bas yahi farak hai." Sumo let it all out at once and Shravan found himself just staring at her, absorbing it all.He was shocked beyond wits.His heart hurt for the girl that stood before him.This was not the Sumo he knew or does he actually understood her ..ever?
"Everyone decides for me and I am the one left heartbroken and guilty. But not anymore. My life, my choices and my decisions from now on.Sabko haq hai apni zindagi apne tareeke se jeene ka.Now they'll are free to live their life according to their own wishes, free from my burden.N you Shravan..Am sorry cause in all this, I hurt you too.I cant bring that time back but all I can do is to apologize.Am sorry...Am really sorry."
Nobody spoke for a few moments.Both were looking at each other in a different light now.Where Shravan realized something, Suman felt liberated for the first time in her life.
"I...I think I should go now." Having said it,Sumo turned to walk off but Shravan held her hand instantly stopping her.
"Bhaag rahi ho Sumo?" Shravan asked her , still holding her hand in his in a strong grip.
"Bhaag nahi rahi hu. Or Bhaag ke jaaungi bhi kahan Shravan?.Kabhi kabhi rishton ko waqt dena padta hai.Bas wahi waqt de rahi hu.Tum khud decide karo ke tumhe kya chahiye.Apni khushi se, apni marzi se or sirf apne liye.Main to yahin hu,bas ek aawaaz de dena."Sumo said with a great difficulty but she knew this is necessory. Shravan has a right to decide n live his life on his own terms, whether she is a part of it or not.
"Waqt...Bohot le liya humne.Zyaada waqt bhi dooriyan la deta hai Sumo...Mujhe pata hai mujhe kya chahiye... hamesha se.Tum batao,tum kya chahti ho Sumo?...Or sach batana." Sumo looked up at him and a fresh set of tears rolled down her eyes.
"Pata nahi.Kabhi kisi ne pucha hi nahi Shravan." At this Shravan was looking at her with teary eyes.She was looking like a child n not the strong and angry young woman who was spitting fire with her words sometimes back.
He came near her taking slow dejected steps n cupped her face making her look into his eyes.Both were miserable and both were broken.
"I know its not worth now but am sorry Sumo.I really am.Main tumhe shayad samajh hi nahi paaya kabhi.Sumo, Tum to jaanti ho na main nahi samajh paata hu tumhe.Bachpan mein bhi nahi samajh paata tha Sumo or aaj bhi nahi.But now I want to.So I am asking you now.Tell me, tum kya chahti ho Sumo?" Shravan asked her softy.He wanted to know what she wants.No pressure, no pretense, no responsibilities...Nothing. What her heart desires, what She wants is what matters to him now.
"Bas jeena chahti hu Shravan,khush rehna chahti hu.I want to be a happy Suman." For the first time, Sumo was expressing her wish cause it was Shravan who was asking and with him she can be her true-self, only with him.
"Or agar main kahu ke mujhe Suman ke saath saath apni Sumo bhi waapis chahiye to...the one I can spoil to my heart's content?" His words a mere whisper.Sumo let out a painful cry and hugged him with all her might.Shravan held her in his comfort letting her cry as much as she wanted and needed.She always needed a shoulder to cry on n now he is there for her now n always.Both stood there embracing each other for a long time letting the rain wash off the hurt, anger and any complain they ever had.
"Sumo, ek baat puchoon?" After some time, when Sumo calmed a bit,Shravan asked parting himself a little , still holding onto her.
"Hmm" Hummed Sumo.
"Agar aaj main yaha nahi aata or agar ye sab na clear hota to kya tum Nanu ki baat maankar us Aditya se shaadi ke liye haa kar deti?" This question was still bugging him.So, he thought to clear it out too when they were having heart to heart.
"No.Never Shravan.I can give up on anything but not my love n not myself.Main haa nahi karti kabhi..kabhi bhi nahi...But,wait a sec, you are doubting me?" Sumo asked narrowing her eyes and trying to free herself from him.But Shravan tightened his hold around her.
"No Sumo.I wasn't. Wo...Main Bas ek baar tumse sunna chahta tha.So..." Shravan said with a stupid smile and Sumo shook her head at this.
"Ab koi missunderstanding nahi Sumo, koi shikway nahi,Koi shikaayatein nahi.."
"Koi shikaayatein nahi." Sumo repeated n hugged him.Now that they are together, they can face it all.Now there are no complaints, there is only Love...Always. N love conquers all.
Bohot ander tak jala deti hain,
Wo Shikaayatein jo bayan nahi hoti...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*The original writer
So that's it folks!
@Everyone who wanted a continuation- I Hope it would suffice guys!đ
Plz let me know what you think about this one guys!
I would love to hear from you'll!
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