Everything started from harman's refusal only no...When he stepped back from doing something for which he was always ready i.e. accepting saumya in front of society with her real identity then only she felt that there r some doubts in harman's mind regarding their relationship n so she assumed that harman is not leaving her coz he is a nice guy n he think of her as his responsibility from which he can't step back n so she started thinking his love as his favours n so finally she concluded that this relationship has no future n so it's better to part away even if this will hurt them as it will lead to solving everyone's problem.
Point here is if she has indeed made up her mind that their relation hv no future then why CVs show in her monologues that she still questions "when Harman dont want to let me go away , why cant he accept me with my identity then " .. if she is given these monologues , then it means somewhere she still expects him to accept her identity , so its all about her identity only or else she wont b given those monologues often na ... She even told Harman so many times that stop doing favours on me when u cannot accept my identity ... she herself brought up this Astitva word so many times ..
so I assumed its for her identity only based on the dialogues given to her in the episodes .. not once she said our relation hv no future but instead she said I wish that night u accepted me with my identity .. Mayb she does feel now that their relationship hv no future only because Harman refused to accept her with her identity that night .. so everything actually stems from the identity only .. And thats where I feel if its a fight for her identity , then she should take her own decisions and not rely on Preeto's ideas because she is no more Preeto's bahu right now ..
I agree that something drastic need to happen for sure which can make Saumya believe that Harman has no issues in accepting her identity and like u said he will die without her .. only then she will start to value his love .. hope it happens that way ..
Remember when they were staying separately in that hut then saumya was changing slowly.. she was accepting harman, his love n their relationship. There she was not thinking any problem of family or society or her identity crisis coz she was gaining that confidence in harman n his love that he is genuinely happy with her n he has no problem at all. But when harman denied to accept her with her identity without giving any solid reason then so many questions got arised. Here, for saumya, identity doesn't mean any recognition, it simply means acceptance. Haya's actual lovestory started when harman accepted her the way she is. He was the one who had never any problem with her real identity n this thing only was the strong base of their relationship but when he started running away from her real identity then it broke her down badly.
I hate saumya's family which always cheated her, snatched her rights, made her feel unwanted because of her identity. N I alwz wanted her to ask nimmi that how can she keep her confined in four walls just because she is a kinner, why she didn't let her live a normal life like surbhi, n most importantly how can she agreed to saaya's condition that if her hubby will leave her then she can take her in kinner land. I wanted saumya to ask mannu that how can he hate her this much just bcs she is a kinner n why he differentiate between her n surbhi as both r his daughters n a father should not have any problem with their child's gender. I wanted saumya to yell on surbhi as who has given her right to come in between her n her hubby, who is she to decide if she can be a wife n dil or not, who is she to destroy her married life coz she can't become a mother. But she never ever asked anything to all these peoples.. these relationships which shouldn't have any problem with her identity, are those who alwz pushed her down n snatched her every rights n poor girl could never demand anything from these people who just made her feel unwanted. But she demanded acceptance from harman n finally I felt that she has someone on whom she think she has right to demand something n to whom she can show her all anger n frustration. N that's why she never annoyed me with her identity jaap, in fact I was happy that finally she is opening her mouth n learning to ask for herself.
Harman is the only one who made saumya feel equal, normal n given her all the love, care, concern, freedom, respect n show her a world of dreams where she can live a normal happily married life with him but when he only rejected her then she left with no choice n as she said if she is not with harman then entire world is same for her n so she bacame ready to live with kinners n she was even ready to get sold n go with any random man coz the only man who was ready to stand with her all life started showing his doubts bcs of her identity n so she got the point that their relationship which is troubling everyone will take them nowhere so better end it.
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