Laughs -- Last Minute

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 7

Posted: 18 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Q. Why couldn't the Daytraders agree where they meet to get together?

A. They all wanted to keep their Options open until the last minute.

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Frequent Posters

Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 7

Posted: 18 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Q: What's the definition of a stockbroker?

A: Someone who invests your money till' it's all gone.

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 7

Posted: 18 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

The IRS Agent on Halloween

The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!" The man asks the kids what he is dressed up like for Halloween. The kid replies, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 7

Posted: 18 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Q: How is golf like taxes?

A: Well, you drive hard to get to the green, and then you wind up in the hole.

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 7

Posted: 18 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Bartender & IRS Agent

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice.

"I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man.

"What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, what?"

The man replied, "I work for the IRS."

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Man

@Manzz

Coolbie

+ 7

Posted: 18 years ago

Laughs

Hello

They say laughter is the best medicine, after all.

Investor Joke

A very successful investor was ready to pass on his $billion fortune to his three sons. However, he had always feared that his sons would be spoiled and not have any ambition other than party all the time. After much thought he decided he would split his fortune between his sons but not evenly. He devised a competition for them where the winner would be given 75% of his fortune, the second place finisher 20% and the one who finished last would be given only 5%.
The rules were simple. Each son would be given $500,000 and they would have 3 months to invest it and they would be ranked at the end of the competition by how high their portfolio grew. They were also given $200,000 each that they could only use as portfolio expenditures. He wanted them to learn how to make money but learn how one would utilize resources and work with others effectively to achieve goals.

The first son used his $200,000 by hiring the best scholars around. $50,000 for an Economist with a PHD, $50,000 for a mathematician and $100,00 a Business professor from Harvard.

The first son's portfolio grew to $750,000.

The second son used his $200,000 to hire some of the brightest minds on Wallstreet. $100,000 for 2 successful Fund managers and a $100,000 for an analyst.

The second son's portfolio grew to $1,000,000.

The youngest son began spending the $200,000 throwing weekend parties, taking friends to concerts, and going on trips. His portfolio grew to $10,000,000!!

"Wow son how did you do that?"

"Well dad. I spent

$10,000 for the land.
$50 for the rocks.
$100 for the gold spray paint.
$10,000 for the helicopter.
$10,000 for the ex-geologist.
$100,000 for the shell.

and the rest on parties and concerts for the brokers, analysts and writers.

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Chiefly British-Kiwi

@IceFire

Inactive

Posted: 18 years ago

lol some of this are classic ;)

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Laughs -- Last Minute

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