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Hola girls!!! Let's take a break from the monotony of my shaayris and have some question filled monologues.
AAKHIR KYU?
(ADVAY'S CONFLICTING EMOTIONS)
All through the way from hospital to home, Advay's eyes were fixed on Chandini trying to understand the range of emotions in her eyes. Scared, pained, worried, concerned were few of the many emotions contained in those hazels right now. But the major one which he dared to accept was that he had seen an amount of respect in those orbs for him. Reaching home, before he could come out she in a jiffy and opened his side of the door. He jerked away her hands when she tried to hold him. He felt dizzy after walking few steps and was about to fall down but she came in time to support him.
Taking almost his full weight over her, with much difficulty she entered their room and settled him on the bed. He wished to change into something lighter hence she removed a track pant and a plain green t shirt from the cupboard and handed over to him. Grabbing the clothes, he headed towards the bathroom to freshen up. Meanwhile, she remembered the doctor's words that a person who has donated a kidney should be surrounded by cleanliness. She sighed as she knew Advay and cleanliness were nowhere related. Advay exited the washroom only to see his wife indulged in a cleaning spree. His mind clouded with thousands of questions and with few long steps he closed the distance between them. She was smoothening the bedsheet when she felt a tug on her right hand. She heard him say "Aakhir Kyu?". His words were like a bucket of cold water. Withdrawing her hand she ran away from the room leaving Advay alone with his questions.
Kyu apni raah se bhatak raha hu
Kyu naa chahte hue bhi, uski ore badh raha hu
Kyu usse dard dene ke baad, mujhe dard hota hai
Kyu uska marz dekhke, meri aakhe nam hoti hai
Kyu uske bhookhe rehne se, meri bhookh mit gayi
Kyu uske favourite noodles banaaye, maine apne haatho se
Kyu auro ka usse takleef pohchana, mujhe manzoor nahi
Kyu uski jaan jokhim mei daalke, darr gaya tha mai
Kyu uske aane se, meri zindagi roshan ho gayi hai
Kyu uske chale jaane se, yeh fir kaali raat si ho jaayegi
Kyu uske aas paas hone se, sukoon milta hai
Kyu aaj kal usse dekhke, raahat milti hai
Kyu uski taaqat dekhke, usse todna nhi chahu
Kyu uski himmat se, dang reh jaata hu
Kyu uski muskuraahat se, sehem jaata hu
Kyu uski mere liye fikar dekhke, dil mei ajeeb si hulchul uthti hai
Kyu tere hone se, phir se jeene laga hu
Kyu chahu ke woh chali jaaye, jab jaanta hu uske jaane se yeh tanhaaiyaa phir mujhe gher lengi
Kyu mera dil zor zor se kehna chaahe, ki mai uska sirf uska Dev hu
(Why am I moving away from my motive
Why am I unwantedly getting close to her
Why does my heart pain after I give her pain
Why do my eyes moisten seeing her vulnerability
Why did my appetite die seeing her hungry
Why did I myself make her favourite noodles
Why is it unbearable when someone else inflicts pain upon her
Why was I scared when I was the one who risked her life
Why has my life lightened since the time she entered my life
Why will it again engulf darkness if she leaves me
Why do I feel relaxed when she is near me
Why do I feel relieved seeing her face
Why do I not want to break her seeing her immense strength
Why am I shocked at her guts
Why does her smile tame me
Why does my heart do a somersault seeing her concern
Why have I started to live again due to her presence
Why do I want her to leave when I know that after her exit I will surrounded by loneliness again
Why does my heart wish to scream and say that I am yours and only yours Dev)
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Here is the 12th OS on Ehsaas Series. Next will be the same but from Chandini's POV
Hope you all like it. Please hit like and comment. Happy Reading.
Loads of Love,
Naziađ
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