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Our ancient texts have given the guidelines for how a wife should conduct herself to be called virtuous. The one I heard most is this:
Karyeshu Dasi Karaneshu Mantri
Bhojyeshu Maata Sayaneshu Rambha
Roopeshu Lakshmi Kshamaya Dharitri
Shat Dharmayukta Kuladharma Patni
Meaning: Serve him as a slave, counsel him as a minister, feed him as a mother, pleasure him as a wh**e, attract him by carrying yourself as beautiful Lakshmi and forgive him as Mother Earth does. These are the six dharmas of a virtuous wife!
Don't know who wrote them and hope there is at least one woman in the panel of experts who approved those texts for all the women to follow. But I realized that many women even in this day and age blindly follow those rules and admonish those girls who dare to not be "virtuous" according to them and their texts. How dare Mehak support that loser of a brother instead of supporting her husband like a dutiful wife?! So what if he asked her help first and he needs her help more than her husband?! She should have dreamt that her brother would go back on his words, go behind her back and cheat her by colluding with her husband! She should always support her husband and never the family that raised her! She is not virtuous!
Well, she is serving his family like a slave, doling out unsolicited advice and help, feeding them food and medicine and forgiving everything they do to her in the name of love and duty. So she did follow four out of six dharmas. The only things she couldn't do was sleep with him and she can't do much about her appearance because he doesn't like her type, going by his own words! I swear I didn't have even one of those virtues when I got married! I am not servile; I myself am confused so I don't normally advise people; I didn't know 'C' of cooking; I was a virgin so didn't know how to please like a wh**e; I always loved the way I looked even when the whole world thought I was weird; Anger graces the tip of my nose and patience is definitely not my virtue. Good that my husband doesn't give a damn about those outdated ideas. But I think Shaurya is one lucky jackass to get such a sweet docile girl for a wife! Don't understand what his problem is!
Now let's talk about virtues of a Man! Didn't nobody write how a man should conduct himself as a husband?! Do they just blindly follow the heroes of our epics without understanding the context?! Rama threw his wife out so a husband can do it and still remain ideal! Krishna romanced many women so a husband can do it and still remain ideal! Is that how it works?! Not sure about other cultures but I know one poem from Telugu literature which states the prime duty of a husband and what happens when he fails to do so.
Kulakaantha thoda neppudu
Kalahimpaku vatti thappu ghatiyimpakumi
Kalakanthi kanta kannee
rolikina siri inta nunda nolladu Sumathi!
Meaning: Don't fight with your wife and attribute any baseless defects to her. If she sheds tears because of you, wealth (in all forms) will leave you.
May be it's impossible to keep a woman from shedding tears because of her man, so I thought of a few situations where he can be the reason behind her tears.
1) Truth
Everyone needs to know the truth even if it makes one shed tears, so women are no exception. A man can tell the truth and make his wife cry. This is better than the heart break due to his lying and deceit.
2) Orgasm
Yes. Please do make her shed tears in pleasure this way. Prove your manliness this way than by manhandling her.
3) Giving birth to your babies
She can shed tears in pain while giving birth to your babies, because she wants those babies as much as you do. Do remember to share the other pains involved in parenting, though you can't share the pain nature gave her.
4) Happy tears
Be empathetic and understanding. You may even try the art of mind reading and amaze her often by your deeds which warm her heart, that she sheds happy tears because of you.
5) Tears of grief
When she loves you so much, she will shed tears whenever she finds you unhappy. You may share your happiness with the world but she is the one who shares your grief. Let her shed tears for you, not because of you.
P.S. I wanted to post this in the middle of last week, but my husband gave me a look, which stopped me from spoiling my vacay. Okay so how many times are they going to repeat the same offenses and the same "redemption" tactics by the male lead/main villain?! What according to them cvs is "redemption", I wonder?! Doing something despicable followed by public apology followed by stalking/tantrums until the girl gives in and then the toxic cycle repeats all over again. In case the makers are not getting it, disgust is the only emotion most people are feeling for the male protagonist (or is he antagonist?!) these days. Try a different kind of redemption this time. May be the one that involves making the girl shed tears for the right reasons I mentioned above.
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