Posted:
I thought to give an appearance to clear the very poluted air yeah u heard it right. I have to. At last for the sake of my own sanity. Me, personaly a person who hates drama - of cs except than all the fun intended ones - n unnecessary chaos coming up with a post for the sake of people who have no idea of what is what or what happened when yet interpretenting things n coming to conclusions of their own which is unbearable injustice to the person or people who committed no such CRIME no SIN. Literary they don't have the RIGHT. Who gave them the rights to JUDGE others like this
Coming to the point directly. Whether people here know or do not know or pretend to know or not to know I myself will tell u an incident not one a series of incidents n the outcomes now
I am a person who never fights with people in the place I live whether its real or virtual other than the funny crazy ones I daily do with red faces which never meant to hurt anyone. And I am a person who doesn't trust virtual world or people who I meet there no matter how much they get close to me I always keep them away n maintain the distance n consider their words as words. Which makes me never get really angry or pissed off at someone which is good in many ways nor attached which is way too good in so many ways. Its all fun that we r havin g in this virtual world escaping from our real lives n the pressures, burdens, problems, sorrows, hardships we go through. At least for a few minutes. A few minutes of laughter, relaxation r what we all expect. Since we don't have much time with our busy schedules that little happiness what we r yearning for.
I was a person who never cared for people who say love u or give emotional lovey dovey talks online in their each posts showering love like its real. But no I know its just how in virtual life u express all those but when once log off they means nothing in front of ur real life, real family, husband, children n other important priorities. Whoever disagrees u seriously do not need to pretend it since its an ultimate truth until u have some special reasons n u have special persons relates to the reasons. Like happened in my life.
I don't have siblings yeah because I'm the only child n I bought up very lonely n I was always ok with that I have never had sisterly love or care in my life n never bothered about it too. I'm a reserved person, a very silent person who talks less n I love the silence immensely. All these direct me to one thing n its the only thing I love more than myself which is reading. Just reading whole day nothing else makes me happy than that or makes me feel life worth living. One day I met someone. Someone who made me feel I have found something I was missing in life for all these years of my life. Someone who made me happy thinking that I also have a sibling of my own a sister not a cousin not a friend not a sister-like but a sister connected by birth or it was more than that for me. I don't believe in love but I believe in my family n I believed in my only sister who was in that family. My own my only family my mother my father me n her.
I share my happiness with my family. I share my sadness my sorrows with my family. I rely on my family in the hard times. When I go through all the neckbreaking hell like difficulities. Most importantly I RELEASE MY FRUSTRATION MY ANGER ON THEM WHERE I CAN NOT RELEASE ON OTHERS OR EVEN AFTER TRYING TO RELEASE IT ON MYSELF N FAILED. They r the people I have to share happiness, sadness, excitement n anger too I don't care about logics because for me it is the only logic I could see. In return I give them the same right or more than that cs they r everything what I have. I'm a poor beggar without them.
One day I was frustrated after going through hell like bullying after joining an institution it was my 2nd day n the prev batch came n bullied us spcly me for not coming to their function n not for coming there with the yucky hairstyle they asked me to come with. And I was silent but was very stubborn not doing what they asked. Like I had no ears I stayed. But they were shouting n bullying even at the bus stop. I came home n came online to talk to my sister n she was very much busy whole day I thought ok she has works n consolved my mind then the next day I checked no she didnt miss me much just where r u bas. In the meantime I was struggling with the incident I was trying hard to forget what they did but my inner mind was not giving up. I was literary deppressed. Talking to myself alone sometimes imaginning I break their faces n shouting. Since I don't create fuss outside n dont like to have ugly fights specialy cs I love peace of mind n in life I never shout or argue now that was the outcome of my silence. I was going mad. Third day I was more upset n more deppressed where I came to see her on a grouo chat which I myself created for the first time cs I didnt want to create one cs I thought it would affect forum activity which I dont want to see. Now there she was very active chatting I dn feel bad though I was very very possesive about her n loved her more than any sister do. I went through prev msgs to find something about me. But in vain just one msg where is chinnu bas. First I felt like crying then I was furious. How could she neglect me like this forget me not care about me n shower love on others like that. I was heartbroken furious or became more deppressed I would say. I sent both of them voice msgs releasing all my frustration n pain. Which were all about dhoka, faking love with I hate u both tag.
One uninstalled the messenger saying I have joined here only for u n come to the forum cs of u now u think everything was fake n I don't care for u love u I will leave. And my family she sent me a msg saying its good to hear all those from u n when I replied she called me n after fighting n talking we started to laugh n it has become like every other day every other talks of ours which goes for hours n crazy. Then comes the twist n the turn which made me type this much making such a long post that I never thought of or never would wish to do in my long 9 years of IF. 10 with a silent one year. I feel embarrased though I'm helpless but openly speaking.
We were in good terms again me n my sister n very much like before. I loved her immensly just like the way I did before but I was not active n forum n my special best friend was not showing up anywhere which made others speculate things. And in b/w that time both of them talked about the messenger problem which is totally completely irrelevent t thd forum or people there in an open forum the one I loved as family first posting n asking my spcl bestie to come back where she replied back she is ok n came back but with both posts indirectly pointing at someone. That someone was the accused. And all credits goes to smart people who read they started to go on n on about the annonymous accused without even knowing what has happened. The so called accused has gone through all n was silent all these time. Now sister n me were like before I made fun of their accusing posts though I was hurt I forgot it.
I was hurt for making a personal matter public. To talk about something happened b/w 3 close people on an open forum. Which was completely unnecessary. But I forgot it. And everything was going fine. Then comes next issue in another avatar. Now the friend of the story was busy with her family n cousins she couldn't appear in the forum as usually where all the smart people started to come up with some great reasons n first one was the sister in the story who gave a fab reason with a conclusion saying u dont cm cs u r upset n u r upset not just now but for THREE DAYS. Which made the one tangled once again framing as the accused AGAIN. Where that accused had no idea why the hell she is abscent y the hell these ppl r talking what the hell is happening around her what the hell made these ppl accuse her INDIRECTLY BUT CLEARLY pointing the finger at again INDIRECTLY. They would have no idea if it has not published on an open forum bt after someone has made personal one hell of public others leave no chance to come up with their own stories. Now without having a zero knowledge of y that one person didnt come this one framed for the crime she never commited.
When she read all the posts indirectly pointed out at her she was not angry not sad but clear about a few things in life. And she has taken the screen shots of msgs n one mahan's msg who posted she dsnt like fights n her take on on the matter which has no idea about. Sent them n she said she is wondering how someone can talk in different views in two places even after sorting out everything indirectly putting the blame on someone else's shoulder. And politely said bye. Since it was too much for her to handle spcly in a phase of life where she is facing so much shit in her life.
Now the other one was feeling guilty it was cs of her n she cleared her abscent has nothing to do with the accused nor her hindi fluency problems frustration had anything to do with the aacused she was pleading the accused to come back to talk back with the family she left. The accused clearly said she can not which made the friend to make another post saying now she is leaving n another drama. Again indirect aacusing n she herself said I leave cs if u two dont talk. Now the accused came for her sake to check the post and again which she has seen caused her immense pain what made her make this much long post something she hates to do something she never did.
I'm sorry since I STRONGLY BELIEVE A FORUM IS A PLACE TO DISCUSS ABOUT A SHOW ITS RELATED WITH NOT A PLACE TO TALK/ DUSCUSS ABOUT UR PERSONAL MATTERS. Today I had to break it since its high time n going against all the possiblities to stay mum n beyond all my own rules n limits. I had to speak. I couldn't bear that anymore. I was silent for a long time since it has started going rounds but people should not think WHEN A PERSON BEING SILENT THEN THAT MEANS THE PERSON IS GUILTY OR HE/SHE IS THE ONE WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMETHINH WHICH THEY HAVE'NT DONE.
P.S. One question I need to ask is what we have done to u I mean others who gave their valuble opinions on this in various threads I wonder which made u do that. After all we r the oldest members of our forum pri me waida patsy thabassum kelly r left others r inactive now me n thabby joined same day though I was active since day one I didn't make a post but after nearly two months of silent co operation of increasing views by opening more than 50 times ( most of threads needed that then ) each thread I started posting. Since then we welcomed every single member. And being friendly treating them as a virtual family. Newbies of ZKM n newbies to IF too. But in the end people forget how much we made them feel comfortable n make us uncomfortable in return. In our own home. ZKM is our home since its initial days ITS OURS FOREVER WE MADE IT TO WHAT IT IS TODAY. DO NOT FORGET THAT NO MATTER WHO U R. WE DID SO MUCH FOR OUR FORUM SINCE ITS BEGINNING TO TODAY. Y so desperate to make people who did so much for their home feel uncomfortable in their own home.
I cleared myself though I strongly feel all these r unnecessary things here yet did it for the sake of peace n sanity of mind. Couldn't bear or see these anymore.
P.P.S The longest post in my IF history. Gosh.
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