I think my hiatus is over. Taz are you ready…eventually another JB mush....
(image by ninita2)
Apne Apne Naseeb
Everywhere the lords of love have become disgraced and dishonoured;
And neither tone nor harmony, absolutely, hath the rebeck of love.
(From the THE POEMS OF KAZIM KHAN, KHATTAK)
As the Mr Tiwari rolled off her, Bani turned away, curled up and cried silently into the pillow. It wasn't until he had left that she got up and went to the bathroom to try and wash away the filth she felt. It did not matter how hard she scrubbed she felt dirty…she always felt dirty. She hated when people like Mr Tiwari came knocking on their door, at first it had been a routine call to try and get her father to pay up the money owed, but it had changed one day…the day her father found he could make a better deal…something that would not cost him anything but would cost her daughter dearly.
When she came out of her room, dressed for her job as a clerk in the small office, she found her father in his inebriated state sprawled on the sofa. She sighed and walked out of the house. She walked the road quickly to her office wanting to get away from the house, at least for the next eight hours she could clamp up her thoughts and just concentrate on her work.
At night she would walk home slowly, dragging her steps towards her home, home she hated now. The dim light would be turned and she knew her young sister, Pia and Rano were home either doing homework or just waiting for her. It was only because of her sister that she made herself live…the thoughts of killing herself were always pushed back at the thought that if she went away then may be one of her younger sister would become next victim of people like Mr Tiwari…and it was always her little baby Rano…the still childlike Rano that forced her to hardened her heart and return home.
"Di…" Rano came and hugged her as soon as she opened the door. "How was work?"
"Work was good and what have you been up to?" Bani asked trying to look happy so they would not ask her questions that she could not answer.
Rano went into her non stop chatter about her day at school and then what she did at home as she watched Bani get dinner ready. When the food was ready Bani asked, "Where is Pia?"
Rano shook her head, "Di why do you ask? She went out again with one of her friends. She said she will try not to be late." Bani sighed, Pia her sixteen old sister, the social butterfly, loved to go out and have fun. It did not matter how much Bani tried talking to her Pia would just brush it off saying she knew how to behave and would never do anything to hurt her Banidi. Bani and Rano sat down and had their simple dinner. After she cleaned up, Bani left two plates of food covered, one for the father and another for Pia. She and Rano retired for the night. Bani listened to Rano breathing as she lay cuddled up to her. Sleep will take a long time to come as always. She will hear Pia come in and then her father and then she would get out of bed and walk quietly out and turn the light off in the room where her father had fallen asleep. Only then would she come back and lay back and try to sleep.
To be continued………
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