Fathers - Bijoy v/s Dev

So many have spoken about fathers love and Dev anguish...
Just penning my thought on the shows fathers.

Of course Mamaji is a father -- but looks partime father as he is only in a few scenes to berate his son and wife but largely absent. So Mamaji truly does not count.


On to Dev and Bijoy...
Taking on Dev as he is still new to this fatherhood business.

His relationship with Golu says it all!! IS is loving , playful and definitely protective of Golu. But that's it. Being a parent or father is not about the fun times. Its about correcting the bad behavior , its about the willingness to be the bad person for the future good, its about being there always good/ bad. Most importantly fatherhood bond is slowly formed with the child. De has never been given an opportunity to be with Suhana. So folks will say he will be a good father. Father is not simply being fun. As many frustrated mothers on this forum will attest --- the willingness to share in strict parenting, willingness to put in the hard work of raising the child right is what makes a good father . Simply throwing money does not help at all.

Bijoy -- He is to all outsiders a quintessentially overbearing , opinionated oldie. But if you notice his relationship with all three kids ( four if u include Dev) has always been that of an empowering father. He is always on hand to help and most importantly he is the backbone of support incase they fall. He has done this multiple times. You need to give space to the kids . They need to live life but kids get courage when fathers simply stand strong and say ... go live your life I am there to back you up. he picked up the pieces once Saurabhs first business failed , He was supportive of Sona when Dev ditched her the first time. He became combactive only when the Dixits started boing in Sona -- emotionally and physically. Hell Any father will be outraged after hearing the pain she has to go through just because the inlaws want 'waris'. It is morally and emotionally outrageous.

Al in all --- in the show Bijoy has proved himself to be a good father. Has he always done the right thing ... maybe no... but he has been a true father. Whereas Dev has been only a fairweather 'father' throwing his charm and might of money and fame to smooth his nephews way.

That's my thought... May the bashing begin - but folks please show some sympathy for me too


😊

I agree that bijoy in terms raising their child he was right...

Bijoy is a damn good father. He is a friend to his children, not at all overbearing. He isnt ordering his kids around. His kids depend on him, trust him and share all their issues with him. He stands up for them. Neha was wrong when she wanted to break her marriage. Sona was right when she walked out.

The comparisn is way too early to be made...Dev is technically not experienced fatherhood though he has been a good father figure to his sisters n also to Golu on many accounts...So i wouldnt judge Dev on the basis that he was" Termed "as a bad husband that also implies /means or even equate tat he would make a bad father...!!

@ksn - agree with you, bijoy was eccentric at times, but a good father. Dev - so far he has been more like a friend to golu, but not a father.

Bang on analysis much needed for those who bashed bijoy calling him immature person .

Originally posted by: sowiee

I agree that bijoy in terms raising their child he was right...

He supported Sona a lot , he was by her side all the time..

I even excuse his behaviour with his son for his failure business n even when he was doing business which bijoy felt as cheap...

Bijoy was a good father he showed that because he had a good parenting when he was a child , his parents taught hika lot.

Coming to dev , there was no father for him.. he took the responsibility of father for his family. Dev took care of his three sisters he has grown up from a low poor kind to. A luxury ones . He never allowed anyone hurt his sisters..

As bijoy allowed Sona to take decision in her marriage even Dev allowed Neha to take decision...

Sona left dixits as both families couldn't adjust... Neha left her husband as she couldn't adjust ... Both the times bijoy m even Dev helped and stood with their respectives..

Dev sacrificed his childhood for a better childhood and a wonderful life for his sisters... He just dint givee money to keep them happy... He took care of all their needs and gave protection...

He always thought of Thier happiness.. and no one recognised that ... I mean he might not be a parent o his sisters.. but he isn't less when comes to parenting... He always was a support for them ...

What all u said about bijoy towards Sona n saurav... Can't we see those qualities in Dev for Niki , riya n Neha...?????

So why do we think that he can't become a good father to Soha... Those persons only will fulfill those responsibilities and give happiness to others which they missed...

And I m sure Dev could be good father if he has given an opportunity...

And one will learn the responsibility only when one gets that responsibility ...

I feel bijoy is a good parent for Sona n saurav as Dev is good parent for Neha , Nikki n riya.

Well Written but I do have to disagree .
You have actually made many points that support my thoughts. Dev always wanted his sisters and mothers happiness. Well fact is you cannot always ensure you get your way and be happy . Neha and his mum made many mistakes ... he always covered it up and threw money to smooth their way. Case in point -- getting Ranveer thrown out of his job. What was the need to be vindictive? Would it help nehas 'happiness'?

Also giving in to all of ishwaris demands ... not a sign of caring but a weak person who cannot differentiate between whats right and wrong... Sometime you cannot demand folks especially in relationships to behave in a particular fashion.

Originally posted by: dmg2c

.[/DIV]

No offence to anyone, thats how most Bengali educated families bring up their daughters and perhaps not in similar fashion to bijoy, but none of them expect their daughters to take any shit from anyone including their husbands and most of them will stand firmly with their daughters. No 'duniya kya kahegi' shit. Sorry, daughters are for taking care of and empowering. Not for sacrificing.

Fantastically Put!! I am sure most communities think that way these days. My dad sure was like that!! Be independent , Be respectful... but don't take shit from anyone

Originally posted by: LeesaHappy

@ksn - agree with you, bijoy was eccentric at times, but a good father. Dev - so far he has been more like a friend to golu, but not a father.

Coming to dev , there was no father for him.. he took the responsibility of father for his family. Dev took care of his three sisters he has grown up from a low poor kind to. A luxury ones . He never allowed anyone hurt his sisters..

Sorry, but disagree with you. Dev was a very good son, a good brother too, but was never a father To his sisters. He never took the responsibility to be a father and I wouldn't expect him to. He just wanted to give a good living for his mother, in turn his sisters. Would like to point out that earning money and being a good father are poles apart.

As bijoy allowed Sona to take decision in her marriage even Dev allowed Neha to take decision...

Dev was against neha's marriage to start with. It was ishwari who convinced dev that neha is happy for the first time in life.

Sona left dixits as both families couldn't adjust... Neha left her husband as she couldn't adjust ... Both the times bijoy m even Dev helped and stood with their

I'm sorry but I think we are watching 2 different shows. Sona was asked to leave by dev, neha chose to leave her home. There's a lot of difference I think. Sonakshi adjusted a lot, tolerated all the humiliation, was even ready to undergo the fertility treatment for ishwari. Neha wasn't ready to even talk to sort her relationship, her only issue was money in her husband's house, the state of which she knew already.

Dev sacrificed his childhood for a better childhood and a wonderful life for his sisters... He just dint givee money to keep them happy... He took care of all their needs and gave protection...

Agreed dev sacrificed a lot, but come on friend he dint sacrifice as much as neha, she was more of a mother to her sisters, those childhood experiences made her a cynic in life and loose all self confidence, her own mother neglected her so much to favor her son. If that's not sacrifice, then what is.

He always thought of Thier happiness.. and no one recognised that ... I mean he might not be a parent o his sisters.. but he isn't less when comes to parenting... He always was a support for them ...

This, I might agree a little, but he himself said once to sona that he knows his sisters' necessities, but not their wishes and except for Riya's job, in all other situations someone had to convince him for his sisters, be it Nikki's night out (before you start it was Nikki's fault for the way it ended) or neha's marriage.

And I m sure Dev could be good father if he has given an opportunity...

And one will learn the responsibility only when one gets that responsibility ...

I feel bijoy is a good parent for Sona n saurav as Dev is good parent for Neha , Nikki n riya.

Maybe he would be a good father, but his behaviors right now aren't in his favor friend, bcoz being a father is more than pampering your kid. It comes with the responsibility of not just teaching the what's right and wrong, but also giving the kids the freedom to make their own decisions and learn from life sometimes.

Superb! I couldn't have written better