And I am feeling so small
It was over my head.. I know nothing at all
And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love.. Just starting to crawl.
"Say something" by A Great Big World.
****
Two Month Later:
Taking a deep breath Sanam tried hard not to let the memories flow through her mind. She found herself at the same place where she once came to do sessions with the last client she ever had. She kept her gaze at the front door, as she was patiently waiting in the living room.
Hearing the sound of shoes clicking into the hard marble floor, she turned around to meet Rehan. "Sanam.. Hi."
She smiled briefly. "Hi. I actually came here to hand in the medical documents I had lent. I wanted to do it in person."
She handed the two files she carried with her watching him to take them. "Thanks. How have you been?"
"I've been fine, I guess." She responded. "How about you? I suppose business is going well as always. Read an article saying how you managed to establish a few deals with various companies."
"Yeah, it's going great actually." He nodded with a smile.
Sanam took a small glance around. "And Aahil? How have he been?"
It took a moment for him to respond. "He's been.. fine."
She nodded feeling a bit awkward. "Right. I just stepped by to hand in the documents. It was nice to see you, Rehan."
Just as she was about to walk out of the place, she stopped and mustered all the courage before asking what had been on her mind for the past two months. This time she didn't care about anything. Nothing mattered anymore. "Rehan.. Do you think he'll ever move past the misunderstanding?"
Rehan caught his brother's gaze not so far away. "He already has."
Aahil lowered his eyes only to take a step forward.
"Take a walk with me." He told to the woman he hadn't seen or spoken to. Leading her to the car which stood parked outside. He didn't even know how the words had escaped his mouth before he had actually sat at the driver's seat.
Sanam followed suit and sat inside knowing they had to talk. It was no longer possible to escape. As he turned on the engine, she wondered where he was taking them.
Sanam began to notice how his knuckles turned white from gripping tightly into the steering wheel.
"Are you okay, Aahil?" She asked reaching out to touch his arm. Yet no answer came from him.
As they reached the destination, Aahil climbed out of the car to inhale some fresh air. He kept his gaze before him, watching the horizon.
Sanam unlocked the car door and came out while her eyes were fixed on his back.
"This was the first time I have driven a car since.. the accident happened."
"You were panicking." She stated. "You shouldn't have done this. Do you realize how dangerous this could have been?"
Aahil shook his head hushing her lightly. "There was a reason of why I brought you here. Listen.."
Taking a few steps, he moved his gaze straight ahead. Sanam followed and realizing where he had taken her. A distant sound began to fill their ears.
Aahil closed her eyes and inhaled a long soft breath. As if he was.. Home.
She was various planes land and take off. He had taken her to the landing base.
"I often come here when my mind is too full. This place, it brings a soothing feeling."
She watched how his eyes shone and a calmness appeared across his face. "This was your passion. It's hard to let go of things which suddenly begins to matter."
He turned to meet her soft gaze. The same eyes which gave him hope. The same expression which told him everything would be okay. "It was the same feeling I felt with you."
Sanam stood still in her position. "According to your brother, it had been a little over a year since the incident took place. 8 months since the sessions began.. And you came here to speak with me after two months?" She said glancing at the horizon where the sky and earth melted together as one.
"Two months." She repeated softly.
Aahil knew it was wrong for him to act so cold. "I know I shouldn't have waited so long to talk to you."
She shook her head with soft eyes. "No.. Listen to what I am saying. Two months are your development on a personal level. Based on what you have been through, you would have taken much more time, but you didn't and that's development to me. Ask yourself what changes it has brought to you and maybe you'll realize that you are doing progress after all. - You just don't know it yet. That's change. Development. Commitment."
A small silence crept between them despite of the sounds of aircraft taking off. She knew what was going through his mind. She never wished him to go back to what who he was before he met her.
"It was never pity, Aahil." She shared wholeheartedly. "I have never seen anyone with these eyes despite of what I do for a living. Each person is different and have unique abilities which no one can take away from us. You have that too."
Aahil looked up to meet her eyes, as if she knew what answers he was longing for.
"That evening you came to visit.. You left without hearing the real reason behind the choice I made." She shared with a soft look behind her eyes. "With all the clients I've ever had, I always make sure to work toward the goal that they would be able to crack through their shells and take the first step forward. Then the second, third and fourth... But with you, I wanted to be there on every step through life."
Aahil stood still trying to comprehend what he had heard. His mind was filled with so many questions.
"It was never pity I felt, but admiration of the strength you carried around with you. I saw the glimpse of survival in your eyes and I knew I wanted to be part of it."
"Knowing what I've done? Knowing what kind of family I had?" He asked in disbelieve before taking a small pause. "You've gained the authority to get under my skin and maybe I let you inside close enough to see the real me. Something I thought was impossible to reach for anyone in the first place."
She couldn't help but feel her heart clench by his fallen words. She took a deep breath. "The more time I got to spend with you, the more I began to fall.. I don't know how it happened."
Sanam shook her head. "I'm not even sure if I should have said this, but the thing is.. I'm willing to make the mistake.. Sadly in our lives we take love for granted or we don't value it as much as we want to. Maybe it's due to our own insecurities by not wanting to hear the rejection. To me, the person who reaches out to your loved ones, is considered to be brave."
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" He slowly asked.
"I was afraid. You were right, Aahil. We all wear masks for one reason or another. And I did wear a mask - the only thing is, I was never aware of it until I met you."
Aahil kept staring into at her, making him notice how the person who stood before him was different. The woman who he thought was strong and had a will power like no other, was suddenly showing her inner feelings. To him.
"I'm ready to be brave. I'm ready to show my own insecurities." She whispered softly. Blinking with an unknown emotions floating around her mind, she felt conscious under his stare. Not knowing what Aahil was thinking at the moment made her restless.
Was this how it felt to know someone was meant to be theirs. To hold. To embrace every corner of someone's heart.
Reaching a hand forward, Aahil slowly clasped his hand around hers as he stepped closer. "Does your offer still stand?"
Heart beating loudly in her chest, she tried hard to figure out what he really meant.
"To listen?" His gaze lingered at hers. "To be part of who I am."
Sanam placed her own hand upon his as a gentle smile began to spread across her soft expression. "As long as you wish for. It will no longer be bound by any hours, minutes or words scribbled down. They'll be held somewhere close and hidden from everyone."
She reached her other hand up to run across his chest to where his heart was. "Right here. This is what the heart is for. To listen unconditionally."
Watching how a calm expression ceased his face and a light smile appeared across his stubbled face.
"I am no longer your therapist and you are no longer my client. I am Sanam Ahmed Khan. I met you at a charity function, who saw your strength and wanted to know the man beneath the mask."
----------
It had been a few days since they had the intimate conversation. Words were spoken not to take them back but leave a permanent mark on each other's souls.
"This is how your day is going to look like. You'll wake up 10, eat some fruit followed by a 1 hour at the gym. Around 12 you will be served your lunch. Afterwards, you'll either read a book or some business files in order to ease your mind.. Maybe someday, you'll be ready to go back to what you truly desire - to find yourself among the skies again.."
Aahil kept staring at her in silence. No one ever had sudden effect on his being. Listening to her soft voice was something else. Like it was awaking hope deep inside of him. He came to realize that whatever they had chosen felt right. Everything felt right with her.
".. This feels good." The words slipped from his lips not realizing what he had actually said out loud.
Sanam stared at him with curious eyes. "What did you just say?"
He shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing., keep going I was just listening to you."
"I heard you say something.." She shook her head as the corner of her mouth turned upwards. "You don't have to say it again, because I heard you loud and clear and I appreciate it." The way she smiled made him believe whatever they had together was much more than putting into simple words.
He reached up to run a hand through his hair, something she had noticed him do often. "You were right, you managed to awake hope in me when I had lost it all."
"It's what I do."
"True, but what I saw was real, Sanam. I saw something in you which stayed with me throughout all of this."
"It's the unnoticed signs which are important to look for. And you have spoken so much without even saying anything." Matching her smile, Aahil nodded.
She went on to make some coffee for them both. Watching her by the corner of his eye, he felt at ease. Something he thought was never possible.
Getting up from his seat, he walked toward the kitchen. Leaning against the doorway, Aahil crossed his arms in front of his chest and spoke with a need in his voice which matched his deep brown eyes. "Promise me you'll be mine."
Sanam placed the mugs on the counter before turning to meet his intense gaze. "I've known every dark corner of your soul and I'm still here. I even know the light sides of you which are not that bad either. Have hope, Aahil. Color will soon be added in our lives."
Once the coffee was made, she handed one of the mugs and shifted to the garden.
"What made you change your mind?" He questioned while taking a look outside his garden.
A light smirk appeared across her lips. "Well, I can tell you this much that it wasn't your rude and cold behavior to begin with."
"I'm guessing it was my good looks which did the trick?" Aahil expressed with a wink.
She chuckled in respond remembering how she had spent various restless nigh trying to figure out why Aahil behaved a certain way. She had spent so many hours trying to force the handsome face out from her mind. But it never succeeded.
"It was your heart and soul." Her eyes clouding a little.
She shook her head lightly and saw the look Aahil gave her, which only made her roll her eyes. "And your handsome traits didn't hurt either. It seems I have a weakness toward men with a light stubble."
"I knew it."
Sanam took a small sip from her coffee. "Aahil.. You won't doubt me or my love, would you?"
His eyes softened as he reached forward and entwined their fingers. "I promise nothing like that will happen again. If I do lose track of my path, then you'll be here to lead me back to who I am."
"I promise I will try." Cupping his face in her hands, she gazed into his deep eyes. "Like we've said before, we've become each other's hope now. That's all that matters."
****
The End!
Hello Lovelies. I'm not sure if I managed to do justice regarding the Epilogue. But I do hope you still enjoyed reading. I want to thank each and everyone who supported and became a loyal reader of this story. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️ You all are something special and it's all because of you that I found my courage to write. 👏
