Scotoma - Page 2

Originally posted by: gmgi

I just love your posts Sabi 👏 It is so full of knowledge and wisdom. I get to learn something new every time. ⭐️

could not agree more.. love to read Sabita's posts.. so different, so refreshing, so educative.

[Q

Originally posted by: gemini54

Today I am going to play 'Devils Advocate'. And here are my thoughts these are based on only what was written not the show as I have not yet watched it.

A scotoma (Greek for darkness; plural: "scotomas" or "scotomata") is an area or island of loss or impairment of visual acuity surrounded by a field of normal or relatively well-preserved vision.

It ALSO means that the mind sees what it chooses to see.- Da Vinci Code - I love this book and this quote is an awesome one

The term is also used metaphorically in the field of psychology, in reference to an individual's inability to perceive personality traits in themselves that are obvious to others.

Here I want to talk about Easwari AND Dev my two most favorite people

Easwari yesterday says to Sona that she hurt Dev

She left Dev shattered

She did not understand his pain

She is coming back and retriggering his hurt

Sounds very familiar of the traits that Easwari herself possessed that she is trying to project to Sona but conveniently fails to see

Now let us come to Dev

Dev says Sona left me

She did not keep her promise

She is moving on to hurt me

She is doing things to hurt me

See a pattern

Now he doesnt recognize Suhana Bose Why?

The signs are there correct but the mind chooses what it wants to see and his mind will give justifications because of the 7% and that Sona never lied ( the second part is true) she never did so he will not have reason to believe she would have so what does he want to see?

Sona moved on , and she moved on with a guy who has a child, a child that she and I spoke of having and she is doing this to hurt me

So why will he see even if the signs are in front of him whether Suhana shouts thru the rooftops that she is a BOSE and all signs point he will not ..only time will tell how he will

As for Easwari I am not sure whether she ever will

Thoughts no brickbats

Very interesting post Sabita..U force me to put my thinking cap on everytime I read ur posts..and I love u for doing that😃😃😳

Secondly thank u for improving my vocabulary..I had no idea that a word called scotoma existed,leave alone its meaning😆😆

I will not defend or justify Ishwari's actions here,they are beyond any realm of justification for anyone..

"The mind sees what it chooses to see"..So very true...Don't all human beings exhibit some traits of scotoma?It is said"Everything we hear is an opinion,not a fact.Everything we see is perspective not the truth"..In relationships,very few things are the absolute truth..Everything depends on how we view things and the view we get depends on where we stand and how we look.Our mind always magnifies our perspectives,magnifies our woes and troubles while shutting out or dimming the troubles of others..

Sona sees herself as the wronged one in the marriage,Dev sees himself as the wronged one..Reality is somewhere inbetween

So let me play Devil's advocate to the devil of the tale😉

Dev says that Sona left him..That is his truth...Dev loved Sona really and truly...He loved his mother just as much(his pov)...His world and happiness revolved only around the happiness of these two people...If both of them smiled together for a reason his day was made..He would have been happy if they both slapped him on one cheek each,if only that would make them smile...His mother ended up doing just that..He believes that Sona slapped him on the other cheek...From where he stands,that is his truth

From where he stands he realises(today) that his mom lied to him and manipulated him..But he feels that Sona should have trusted him more...From Dev's pov,he never ever did anything to hurt her intentionally...In fact,he felt he was doing all that was humanly possible for her to be happy...Oh wait,from his pov he was at war with the Gods for her happiness...He believes that his intentions were always good,though his actions might not exactly be correct,but Sona failed to understand him..

Dev also believes that Sona abandoned him after the Bijoy slap incident and cut him off from her life..He believes that he told the whole truth about the pre nup and told her that he wanted to be with her,but she didn't believe him...His pov is that Sona always accused him of lying,so he came clean about the prenup(as soon as his mom told him),but this time Sona left him for telling the truth..She was angry when he lied and angry when he told the truth...

Dev's pov till the separation seems understandable to me...It may not be fully right..but it is human to believe this..Most human beings see things from their pov..and Dev is no different

From Sona's pov,she made every human effort possible to fit into the Dixit household..She bent over backwards to please Ishwari...because she believed that by pleasing Ishwari,she would please Dev and they would be one happy family...She silently braved all the taunts of Ishwari and RR ...She became a baby machine for Ishwari just to please Dev and save her relationship...And after doing all this,her parents were humiliated by the Dixits and Dev threw her out of his house and hers...She feels used,wronged and cheated...From her pov,Dev not only left her..he threw her out,acted vindictively and cheated her...I am not elaborating much on Sona's pov,bcoz a lot has been written about her pov post marriage...

So aren't both of them seeing exactly what they want to see?

Dev sees the promises she broke...but does he see the numerous promises he broke?The numerous ways in which he failed her as a husband?The numerous pains she took her him and his family?

.For Sona ,Dev's web of lies and deceit (as she saw it) mattered,not the intentions behind them...But wasn't Sona's mind also seeing only what it wanted to see? Wasn't she harbouring double standards? If Sona believed in telling the truth always, why did she not tell Dev about starting a new business with her brother? Why did Sona not tell Dev that she was creating a fake profile and trying to chat with Khushi?..Why did she not tell Dev that she planned to return the 5 crores?...In all these cases,when she did not communicate with him, her mind and reasoning conveniently offered her justifications..Here she expected that Dev would understand her intentions, not see her actions...But when it came to Dev, she saw his actions, not intentions...

Secondly,.Sona was aware of this trait of his well before marriage..Dev got Sona thrown out of a job so that she would treat his mom...(Dev telling Sona.."mere tarreke galat ho sakte hain,iraade nahin..")..So Dev did not change overnight..His ways were always weird...but it helped him achieve his goal and ultimately things turned out fine...After all,didn't Sona fall in love with him after he threw her out of her job?...He also threatened Ayan to stay away from Rhea's life..(galat tareeke sahi iraade)...He tried giving expensive gifts to Saurabh and Ranveer(galat tareeke,sahi iraade)..Dev Dixit was always about galat tareeke sahi iraade...Sona knew this,but failed to recognize it...Dev's tareeke helped him achieve his goal and things always turned out fine in the end for him..So for him this method worked...So from his pov,he was right...

So why are their perspectives so different?It was partly because Dev never stood upto his mother when he should...It was also partly because Sona never spoke to Dev about the storms brewing in her mind .She did not reveal Ishwari's half truths to Dev and did not let him know how much RR's taunts hurt her. She never let him know that Vicky was misbehaving with her and being downright rude and disrespecting her...

This hurt their marriage very badly...It led to the drawing of lines that now makes both of them see things from very different lenses

I agree when you say that the mind sees what it chooses to see...And I do believe that this quote holds for Dev..but I do believe that it holds for Sona too..

In fact it hold for most human beings😊

dev is the asli son of ishwari

This does reminds me of Sona's fake pregnancy. Sona had so many reasons to recheck the pregnancy report - she herself hadnt done any home test, being a doctor herself but still ignored signs given by her own body, Dev was always stressed, Doctor n Dev stopped her from seeing the reports - but she didn't. Coz she trusted Dev completely and she was so happy with the news she missed out all d obvious signs.