Originally posted by: napstermonster
Inspired to finally come back to the show that has left me in a tizzy with its speed and illogic, I arrive at the forum to find you, my love. Thanks for the PM, by the way. And coming to this post---
So happy to see you here ! Yay!
Its been almost 200 episodes. Their equation has changed so much that in some ways its not even the same man who we are seeing onscreen now. In terms of character growth, with Shivika, I even understand Om Deewani points of view-- that is one character that has been criminally underused and twisted about, and honestly, its a good thing he is getting his own space. But the thing is, I still feel this sense of forboding when I watch Shivika. Its like waiting for the other shoe to drop, for that imbalanced vase to shatter off the ledge. Because the NKK has been sublimated in Shivaay's indulgence of his needs. And the person who will pay for it, for being his secret (and now, not so secret) indulgence will be the toy he is refusing to let go of--Anika.
I think it was Pearl (@asya34) who put it succinctly, Shivaay has sort of relented that he has succumbed to this attachment to Annika, ignoring the NKK, just like he could just slide over and ignore the fact that (he thinks) Om may be illegitimate.
His prejudices still exist very much, just that he (for want of a better word) SETTLED for lesser, by accepting Annika.
That itself is criminal, because what she brings to him, that peace of mind and selfless support, is more precious than any money he can make.
I thought Shivaay deserved a good lesson in losing Annika, but his recent behavior with the successive NDEs makes me feel really sorry for him.
I'll tell you something, love. I HAVENT watched the two weeks leading upto, and past the marriage. I'm obviously upto date, but I couldn't bring myself to watch. Not one rasam, not one cruelty. I re-joined the show when Daksh Bhai saab came back, thankfully, double quick, and Shivaay got his brains back. But honestly, when I got back, the psychic scars on Anika had already manifested. And the girl she is today is as affected by her marriage as that frightened sister was when she sat for the pheras. All the blush lessons and NDE and soul connections in the world has not erased HOW she ended up here, in this house. With this man.
As painful as the wedding week was, it was dramatic brilliance. Angst was at the peak, performances were stupendous. Darn effective storytelling, they only break out this relentless drama on special occasions. GK did warn beforehand, "You never want to see the bad side of SSO."
I enjoyed it. But I couldn't watch it again till yesterday😆.. But second time around I was able to appreciate the sheer brilliance of Nakuul and Surbhi, they were really top notch. Give them all the awards please.
I want to speak as a married woman, for one second, if you will let me. Because each of us who went through the ceremonies, the adjustment, the in laws and the new relationships know this. We know that HOW we enter our in law's house affects how we are treated there. Izzat, pyaar, intezar. If you are brought in by your husband with those in his heart, you have the right to expect those to be given to you by not just him, but his family, too. And not just to you. To your family too. No matter how good people are, they will treat you in your sasural according to the guidelines set when you enter it. And that will not change materially, no matter how many years you are married, no matter what punya you earn, or what good deeds you do in your new home.
This is so true, Navin. How your husband treats you in the sasural is the template in which the others on the fence follow. OmRu are exempt, because they have always liked Annika and the effect she has on stoic Shivaay. In fact, they exposed their own brother's crimes against her, great points for loyalty.
People wanted her to shut up and not butt in into Rudra's marriage matters, but to her he is as precious as Sahil. Rudra is selfless and innocent, she rises to protect. I find it really touching, for her to risk insults for him. He appreciated it too. I find these 2 as loving as Sahil and her. Beautiful bonding.
The Anika the OM people met first was a woman they respected. This is true, go back, and rewatch the scenes. She was someone with a voice, who spoke up against what she saw as wrong. Who took a stand, and had her spine intact, and was respected for being herself. While NKK for SSO is a big deal it is not the same for the others. They loved her, and were a little in awe of her, for who she was, and how she stood upto the man they all feared, just a little. But that girl got left behind, on an empty field, when she got blackmailed to giving into becoming their new toy.
It was amazing that they all could accept that she was dueling with Shivaay often and winning often. Many family members actually were surprised when he ignored his feelings for her and got ready to marry Tia anyway.
Except Pinky. She was most confident in Shivaay's NKK hangups, which is why she keeps ranting about how he has changed so much at present. It feels like as though, she had to adapt to a snobby son and change her sensibilities.
I would say her NKK issues are a crutch, a convenient attack point for Pinky, who must know the hypocrisy of her saying any of this, at least. One line from Shakti will bring her crashing down to earth, even Shivaay doesn't have to do this, his father can. She is hardly one to talk, and surely she knows this as well as her audience in that house. These taunts she makes are, for me, not worth the outrage they get. Because the truth is, it is Shivaay, (and how married her) who is the real reason why Anika will not be accepted by Pinky or Tej. She has a weakness, sure, and this is one which will be used to humiliate her for another 200 episodes. This is normal. Note that even Sahil does not get a pass here--if she is vulnerable, so is he. And she cannot protect him anymore than herself, right now.
So true. It that house, she is defenseless without Shivaay. He turns his back and she'll be kicked out. Shivaay is doing her a great disrespect by not acknowledging her as his wife.
I just hope that when it comes, her shouts it out from rooftops way up high, and she can hear him, wherever she is.
But my point is her background is not the REASON she is being humiliated, its not the reason she is vulnerable. The way Shivaay married her, her being in OM without even a Biwi title, the pending divorce she doesn't even know is a sham, the silence (or quick topic change), he greets her humiliations with --those are why she is being torn apart internally. Even Dadi gets to play with the vulnerable Anika doll, and make herself important by choosing to support, or stay silent. Where will this newly vulnerable Anika go? Physically, he has robbed her of her home, of her way out. Emotionally, he has stolen her heart. Psychologically, she is terrified of losing him, she responds to his needs before she draws breath. Financially, he has crippled her in debt. Where will we (or she) find the old Anika? How will she come back?
He has gotten somewhat addicted to her presence, like an obsession. She is the support when no one else believed him. The motivation when nothing seems to be going well. A comrade to fight battles with. And a private beautiful girl to flirt and tease, which he seems to enjoy considerably. I agree he does not need to tell anybody but Annika how he feels about her.
But he must acknowledge her as his wife in front of all. Mandatory.
OmRu, the conscience of the story, are the only ones who saw, and acted and protested the monstrous unfairness of all this. I think they do it even now, even after Shivaay has changed from the monster who dragged his prize home. I think its telling that even Om, who called her Anika casually only weeks ago now ONLY refers to her by her title. It sounded odd, since he waited until after marriage, and they have that an actual scene where he changes from name to title deliberately, and I think it was meant to strike us. He has elevated her, when Shivaay cannot. Rudra goes one step further-- he makes sure even Soumya acknowledges her as Bhabi, not Didi. OmRu assert her status, every chance they get. These two know the value of titles, and bestow hers on her again and again, to her face.
But neither Anika, nor OmRu can undo what Shivaay has done. And until he acknowledges NOT that he loves her (which is his private business), but that she is his wife (which is his public duty), he cannot protect her. And all the "main sab think kardungas" in the world will not change the damage of how he brought her here. None of his private affection and need for her will undo the psychic hurt that has her crumpling from the hatred she would have stormed and revolted against a month ago.
When he put the mangalsutra on her, he tied her to himself like a lamb chained to the slaughterhouse. She can no more remove the yoke around her neck than a lamb can, right now. She was bound by her faith in marriage, and is now bound by the needs of her husband. But he has not acknowledged her need as his wife, her right to his respect or acquiring his name as her protection. And he wont. he doesn't need to, and in her bitter despair, she has decided--she cannot ask for her right, or demand her title.
I feel scared. I feel a sense of forboding that makes me tense, makes me ignore the dramatic family crap and focus on the broken, hurting woman who is struggling with a man she cannot have and cannot leave. That other shoe? The unfinished business that all this portends? That will drop. Hold onto your heart, my love, and be very wary for the next 200 episodes.
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