Originally posted by: napstermonster
Inspired to finally come back to the show that has left me in a tizzy with its speed and illogic, I arrive at the forum to find you, my love. Thanks for the PM, by the way. And coming to this post---
Its been almost 200 episodes. Their equation has changed so much that in some ways its not even the same man who we are seeing onscreen now. In terms of character growth, with Shivika, I even understand Om Deewani points of view-- that is one character that has been criminally underused and twisted about, and honestly, its a good thing he is getting his own space. But the thing is, I still feel this sense of forboding when I watch Shivika. Its like waiting for the other shoe to drop, for that imbalanced vase to shatter off the ledge. Because the NKK has been sublimated in Shivaay's indulgence of his needs. And the person who will pay for it, for being his secret (and now, not so secret) indulgence will be the toy he is refusing to let go of--Anika.
I'll tell you something, love. I HAVENT watched the two weeks leading upto, and past the marriage. I'm obviously upto date, but I couldn't bring myself to watch. Not one rasam, not one cruelty. I re-joined the show when Daksh Bhai saab came back, thankfully, double quick, and Shivaay got his brains back. But honestly, when I got back, the psychic scars on Anika had already manifested. And the girl she is today is as affected by her marriage as that frightened sister was when she sat for the pheras. All the blush lessons and NDE and soul connections in the world has not erased HOW she ended up here, in this house. With this man.
I want to speak as a married woman, for one second, if you will let me. Because each of us who went through the ceremonies, the adjustment, the in laws and the new relationships know this. We know that HOW we enter our in law's house affects how we are treated there. Izzat, pyaar, intezar. If you are brought in by your husband with those in his heart, you have the right to expect those to be given to you by not just him, but his family, too. And not just to you. To your family too. No matter how good people are, they will treat you in your sasural as per guidelines set by your husband when you enter it. And that will not change materially, no matter how many years you are married, no matter what punya you earn, or what good deeds you do in your new home.
The Anika the OM people met first was a woman they respected. This is true, go back, and rewatch the scenes. She was someone with a voice, who spoke up against what she saw as wrong. Who took a stand, and had her spine intact, and was respected for being herself. While NKK for SSO is a big deal, it is not the same for the others. They liked her, and were a little in awe of her, for the strength of who she was, for how she stood upto the man they all feared, just a little. But that girl got left behind, on an empty field, when she got blackmailed into becoming that man's new toy. Back then he wanted to break the toy. Right now he wants to play and cuddle with it. But she is still an inanimate object, her will, her voice and her strength silenced.
I would say her NKK are just a convenient attack point for Pinky, who must know the hypocrisy of her saying any of this, at least. One line about her own background from Shakti will bring her crashing down to earth. Shivaay doesn't even have to do this, his father can. Pinky is hardly one to talk, and surely she knows this as well as her audience in that house, who stay silent because they don't have to protest any of this, when Shivaay isn't bothering to. So, these taunts she makes are, for me, not worth the outrage they get. Because the truth is, it is Shivaay who is the real reason why Anika will not be accepted by Pinky or Tej. She has a weakness, sure. This will be used to humiliate her for another 200 episodes. Note that even Sahil does not get a pass here--if she is vulnerable, so is he. And she cannot protect him anymore than herself, right now.
But my point is her background is not the REASON she is being humiliated, its not the reason she is vulnerable. The way Shivaay married her, her being in OM without even a Biwi title, the pending divorce she doesn't even know is a sham, the silence (or quick topic change), Shivaay greets her every humiliation with --those are why she is being torn apart internally. Even Dadi gets to play with the Anika doll, and make herself important by choosing to support, or stay silent.
I don't get people demanding that she walk out. Walk out and go where? Do what? Where will this newly vulnerable Anika go? Physically, he has robbed her of her home, of her way out. Emotionally, he has stolen her very heart. Psychologically, she is terrified of losing him, she responds to his needs before she draws breath. Financially, he has crippled her in debt. Where will we (or she) find the old Anika? How will she come back?
OmRu, the conscience of the story, are the only ones who saw, and acted and protested the monstrous unfairness of all this. I think they do it even now, even after Shivaay has changed from the monster who dragged his prize home. I think its telling that even Om, who called her Anika casually only weeks ago now ONLY refers to her by her title. It sounded odd, since he waited until after marriage. But they have an actual full scene where he changes from name to title deliberately, and I think it was meant to strike us as odd. Om has accepted her, when Shivaay has not. Rudra goes one step further-- he makes sure even Soumya acknowledges her as Bhabi, not Didi. OmRu assert her status, every chance they get. These two know the value of titles, and bestow hers on her again and again, to her face.
But neither Anika, nor OmRu can undo what Shivaay has done. And until he acknowledges NOT that he loves her (which is his private business), but that she is his wife (which is his public duty), he cannot protect her. And all the "main sab thik kardungas" in the world will not undo the damage of how he brought her here. None of his private affection will undo the psychic hurt that has her crumpling from the kind of blind hatred she would have stormed and revolted against a month ago.
When SSO put the mangalsutra on Anika, he tied her to himself like a lamb chained to the slaughterhouse. She can no more remove the yoke around her neck than a lamb can, right now. She was first bound by her faith in marriage, and is now bound by the needs of her husband. But he has not acknowledged her need as his wife, her right to his respect or to acquire his name as her protection. And he wont. He doesn't need to. And she wont make him. The old Anika would have. But in her bitter despair, this trapped woman has decided-- she cannot ask for her rights, or demand her title. She has none, and whatever she did have, did earn -- he has obliterated.
I feel scared. I feel a sense of forboding that makes me tense, makes me ignore the dramatic family crap and focus on the broken, hurting woman who is struggling with a man she cannot have and cannot leave. That other shoe? The unfinished business that all this portends? That will drop. Hold onto your heart, my love, and be very wary for the next 200 episodes.
Anupamaa
