The Rainbow - A Shruthi-Shirley Collab - Ch-15 on P-23

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deejagi

@deejagi

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#161

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@jaya I dont know what to say. I dont know whether the theme of imperfect emotionally void marriage is coming out or not as far as Radhika-Abhi or Keshav-Malini is coming out. Because that is theme to take up a social issue.
If that theme is not coming out please tell. Because if that theme is not felt when the social issue is taken people might feel uncomfortable

Shruthi if the theme is emotionally imperfect pair, then I think you need some strong base and not just this superficial matter such as PTM and nature of work and coping with responsibility.

You can try getting something like Bhavanii and Mr. Rajput pair to show such things. Here the way you have protected Abhi is like he is devoid of emotions altogether. I just hope I am not imposing on your story line but knowing your capability, I just don't want you to stumble upon.

Sorry if I hurt you and Shirley with my comments

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#162

No issues Jaya, a reader should understand what the writer is intending. I have regularly seen your comments in Seven Vows which are inline with the intend of the character or atleast I know as story progresses I will take the character in that direction.

Here your comment showed, you didnt get my intend or why I am making such things that is why I asked is the theme coming up.

Because if the reader is not feeling the theme some course correction will be required from our end.

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sshirley

@sshirley

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#163

hello everyone

really v sorry about not being able to come here but really tied up.

v v interesting discussions going on esp. between shruthi n jaya

Shruthi, thanku for explaining on both our behalfs..

jaya the hospital may not be having a stock at that pt of time - thats v possible in indian hospitals, right? plus, who knows whether that was a commonly used one or had to be used in rare cases like diya;s? i mean thats a grey area, allowing for some ambiguity, right?

will try to update in a day or two..

Shruthi, what do u think? shud we delve a bit deeper into our theme? since jaya is giving feedback that our theme is not clear? of course not abrupt but maybe give an indirect hint?

Edited by sshirley - 8 years ago

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sshirley

@sshirley

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#164

frankly shruthi i too feel the narration isnt too streamlined.. perhaps because we r two ppl writing it n that too blindly..

Everyone, do u think it would be better if i n shruthi coordinate beforehand thru pms?

we both wanted to challenge ourselves by writing blind.. i.e. no prior coordination.. so that each ch of the other person is a surprise n a creative challenge..

so please tell us if this way we r not able to get the theme right... we will change our method.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#165

@shirley I feel we should discuss because if the theme is not coming up in blind writing we should share some character outline in PMs and then proceed. I am a bit busy this week. But will try to answer PMs. But we can streamline it better if we discuss from next week.

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sshirley

@sshirley

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#166

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@shirley I feel we should discuss because if the theme is not coming up in blind writing we should share some character outline in PMs and then proceed. I am a bit busy this week. But will try to answer PMs. But we can streamline it better if we discuss from next week.

Yeah sure Shruthi

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deejagi

@deejagi

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#167

@ Shruthi & Shirley, guys I am really sorry. I didn't mean to break your idea and flow of story line. No there is no need for you to coordinate before penning. You people are doing a great job with blind writing. All I said was to just give more depth to the same as it looks a bit shallow.

Once again I am really sorry for hurting the two amazing writers.

P.S. If you are okay, shall I write one part and you can continue there after? It is just a request, you are free to not to oblige

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Maria

@JRia

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#168

Wow Jaya ur posts were missed. And what a comeback.. loved ur perspective on abhi. Though I personally think radhika not trusting abhi is his own past carelessness. And yet what you say also could be the case.. would love to read the part u write for this. Waiting for your writing on suman and sree too

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#169

@jaya if you want to make a part always welcome

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sshirley

@sshirley

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#170

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
@jaya if you want to make a part always welcome

i totally second Shruthi.. jaya please step.. most welcome.. would love to read ur part.

And, jaya what was that sorry for? u r our reader - its ur duty as well as right to point out if something doesnt seem right to u...

jaya.. u talked about showing something like 7 vows' suman's parents.. but frankly our idea was never to paint perfectly black or perfectly white characters.. these characters r v imperfect. in reality v few ppl r perfect... isnt it?

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The Rainbow - A Shruthi-Shirley Collab - Ch-15 on P-23 - Page 17

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