CHAPTER 10
Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, Dhani let out a small sigh and turned towards RajLaxmi who was sitting on the bed, her legs folded and her fingers caressing the thin red bangles which were laid on her lap..
"Laxmi.. I think we need to go and get a new mirror for my room.. This one has got crack in it and Maayi says thats looking at the cracked reflection is a bad omen".
"Huh! stop your nonsense Dhani.. You and your silly thoughts.. These are just prejudices.. and even if they are true, these are not applicable to us.. Whatever we are going through is the maximum torture that can be inflicted upon anyone... Anything worse is absolutely not possible".
Dhani understood that she will never be able to win in an argument with Rajlaxmi, so completely ignoring her she started gathering her sarees and kept them inside the trunk.. But Rajlaxmi was in no mood to stop this argument before proving herself correct.. Looking at Dhani from the corner of her eyes she continued, "Dhani lets go and eat 'pani-puris'.. Its your favourite right? and then two plates of 'papri chat'... Its my favourite afterall.. and what about eating ice creams?"
"Stop kidding.", Dhani sounded annoyed.
"Why? I am in good mood today and I want to eat something tasty.. ok if you dont want to go then stay back.. I will be going with swarna in the evening".
"Have you lost it..? what if Maayi or Badi Amma finds out? Do I need to remind you that you are a widow who is not allowed to eat all these", Dhani frowned.
"Exactly.. This is what I wanted to say that our lives are already miserable.. We are not even allowed to eat according to our wishes.. so stop your nonsense that cracked mirrors are bad omens, keeping numerous fasts will wash away your sins, waking up early in the morning and then walking a long distance to the mandir will earn you blessing.. Nothing like this happens in this bitter world my dear friend.. You are a widow, I am a widow and thats the end of our lives... if you decide to give in to the injustices done to us by accepting all these stupid customs ".
"There is no point arguing with you", Dhani turned to head towards the door when Raj Laxmi caught her wrist firmly and made her sit on the bed in front of her and pointed towards the bunch of red glass bangles.
"Look at these.. Extremely beautiful, aren't they? These were gifted by my father on my wedding day.. He had said that I was the most beautiful bride and these bangles will add more beauty to my fair thin wrists.. he himself had made me wear them and had promised to pray for my happy married life.. ", Ral Laxmi's eyes glistened.
"And my father used to say that the tinkle of the bangles and my anklets made the sweetest sound. Mehendis, bangles and anklets were the only three things I had a craze for.. The day before my wedding when my sister-in-law made me wear those mehendis, every one had laughed and teased a lot saying that the dark colour of my Mehendi indicated that I would be loved forever by my husband", Dhani said caressing the round glass pieces..
"And what happened after that? He had given you immense love in the form of that scar on your neck right?", Dhani's head shot up at the sudden taunt by RL.
"Yes I know that I have a cutting tongue and you did not like this but I am sorry to say that I neither do I beleive all these nor am I going to support your stupid talks by nodding and agreeing with you.. I dont want to live the way I am forced to.. I want everything that any girl of my age deserves.. If I was not born to a family bearing traditional thoughts, I would not have got married at such a young age and even after becoming a widow my parents would have kept me with them provided they had the courage to fight against these stupid customs..", clutching the end of the bed sheet, RajLaxmi let out hot breaths..
"I dont want to argue .. and why are you deviating from the topic.. I was talking about buying a mirror, as simple as that, then why do you have to recall your bitter past?", Dhani kept her hand on RL's shoulder.. She immediately jerked her away and threw away the bangles on the floor when someone pushed the door and stormed into the room..
Dhani and Rajlaxmi turned to look at the tall handsome figure of Dr. Viplav Tripathi standing at the door with a broad smile playing on his lips, as usual.
"Hey why you both are crying.. is something wrong? and why are these broken bangles spread across the floor.. These are glass bangles right? anyone can hurt her foot..", saying this Viplav bent down to collect the pieces of glasses from the floor..
Dhani and Raj Laxmi immediately came and sat beside Viplav.
"Viplav babu .. let them go.. you will hurt yourself.. It was my fault, I threw them away.. You please go and stand there.. Dhani will help me cleaning the room.. Dhani wait here, let me bring a packet and a broom", Rajlaxmi went out of the room leaving behind Dhani and Viplav.
Dhani was still busy picking up the broken glasses with bare hands.. when Viplav tried to start a conversation with her.
"Hey leave them..you will hurt yourself.."
"Thats none your business.. Go away"
"You are asking me to leave.. why are you upset? tell me nah"
"No I will not"
"Why?"
"My wish"
"Why dont you chnage your mind and trust your friend and share your worries?"
"Because my friend will never understand"
"Give it a try.. My Dadiji says that sharing worries lessens the pain of the heart to some extent.. So let me know why are your beautiful eyes flowing"
"Stop teasing Viplav"
"Hey you are stealing glances..aren't you? and who said I am teasing.. You are really beautiful"
"and so I am bestowed upon with these misfortunes.."
"Why are you blaming your beautiful face for that?"
"Why do you ask so many questions?"
"Because I did not get the answer to my first one"
"What do you want to know?"
"Why was my girlfriend crying?"
Shocked at the sudden mention of the word girlfriend, Dhani threw angry glares at Viplav.
"You again started.. I hate you for these stupid meaningless talks"
"But I still love... love.. lo.. lloo.. love to pull your legs", Viplav stole glances..
Dhani got up and went outside the room.. Viplav followed her..
Dhani was walking fast but Viplav was faster and soon he stood in front of her, blocking her way.. He spread his arms in the air and taking in a deep breath he announced , "Dhani I have actually come here for a special reason, a very special reason.. Next week is my birthday and family will be throwing a party for me .. All my friends are invited and you, Miss Dhani, being my most special friend will have to attend the party.. Thats an invitation for you, Raj Laxmi and Swarna.. ", Viplav stopped and looked at her curiously, waiting for her reactions.
"Now why are you silent? Unless you agree my other two sweet friends will never come.. So everything depends upon you.. Swarna has already said a big NO to my invitation.. Now you will have to make the other two agree ok?"
A few moments of silence prevailed.. When Dhani was staring at the ground looking for a suitable excuse to give, Viplav was checking out her face carefully waiting for her reply..
"Viplav sometimes I wonder that the last time when I visited your hospital, those moments between us in your cabin were actually a dream.. I must have been dreaming then.. Look at the decency in your attitude, the politeness in your behaviour and the sweetness in your every word.. Who will say that this gentleman turns into a... when you step into... I am seriously at loss of words.. Why are you hurting yourself? Those addictions will do you no good".
Viplav looked everywhere but her.. After a while he bent his head down and murmered, "I am Sorry for being so rude the other day.. I had infact decided never to come to you else I might hurt you but I could not stop myself.. I want my friends to be there on my birthday so came to invite you.. But if you are uncomfortable with me then i will definitely never force you.. Its ok and I can understand.. You are afraid.. aren't you?
"No I am not..", Viplav was surprised to hear Dhani's confident reply.. "No I am not afraid of you Viplav"
"Then tell me why were you crying ?"
"Uff ..I said I won't tell..you just look for an opportunity to trouble me.. isnt it?".. Dhani was annoyed and Viplav laughed out loud.. "You look cute when you are irritated so let me trouble you ".
'Bachwajiii" Dulari's voice interrupted the Vidha moment.. She was calling him downstairs..
"come down and have tea".. Dhani and Viplav could hear Badi Amma calling out for Viplav..
"You go.. I am coming after some time.. Let me clean the room first.. else Laxmi and me will get some good scolding from Maayi.."
Viplav smiled and climbed down the stairs.. Dhani went back to her room and locked the door behind her.. She leaned against the door and closed her eyes. How would she refuse Viplav and even if she agreed it was absolutely impossible for her to attend Viplav's birthday party. Why did not he understand her limitations? But no she could not agree to what she would never be able to do.. She would have to gather courage and refuse him directly.. What would happen? He would be upset for sometime and then again things would be back to normal. And he himself had said that he would not force anything upon her and it was completely her decision whether to attend the party or not.. So that would definitely not make much difference even if she refused to go and being with so many friends on that day would not give him any time to miss her or notice her absence.. He would certainly forget about her.. Yaa that would be right.. but something pricked the softest part of her heart.. Deep down at one corner her heart wanted to agree to everything what Viplav wanted..
Only if she herself had realised and admitted that this man had been able to break through the walls, that Dhani had built around her a long time back, and had entered her restricted world. Only if she had ever tried to figure out since when Viplav had occupied the whole of her world, her mind where the entry of any male was strictly forbidden. Only if she knew why her heart craved to do anything that would make him happy.
Dhani hurriedly got down the stairs and looked for Viplav but he could not be seen around.. Dulari's presence did not give her enough courage to ask when did he leave.. Raj Laxmi was smart enough to understand her friend's state of mind.. She took small steps towards Dhani and whispered in her ears that Viplav had left. He had got a call from his home and he had to leave immediately. With great difficulty Dhani had gathered so much of courage but everything got wasted. Viplav had left and she could not even explain to him why she would not be able to attend his party.
"Dhani lets go and clean the room.. Dulari mausi will kick us out of the Ashram if she notices those red bangles in your room.. Hurry up, come'on", RL murmered.
"Hey you are smiling..Weren't you upset a while ago?"
"Yes I was.. But whats the use to cry over spilt milk? I prefer to move on in life instead of sticking to the bitter past incidents.. Only if the world allowed me to do so..
But I am absolutely fine now.. The man who died leaving me alone, why should I waste my tears for him? and the society who will never shed a single tear drop for me, why will I waste my energy and time bashing them? They are of no use.. So I am quite happy now", RL giggled..
Dhani threw her arms around her and hugged her tight.. "Raj Laxmi you look too good when you smile.. Keep smiling like this"
"and I wish, you too start smiling like this.. ", RL patted her back.
"BTW where were you for so long.. You were supposed to bring the broom right?"
"Do you think that I am a child Dhani? I know that Viplav babu visits this ashram only to meet you.. SO I just excused myself to give you both a few minutes of privacy", She chuckled like a kid.
Dhani was supposed to get angry but to her own surprise she smiled broadly and hit RL's arm..
"You stupid! Lets go"
"Else your Mother, the strict mother of this whole Ashram will again start screaming at us"
Both the friends laughed out loud.
Viplav was absent mindedly roaming around the 5th floor of the new grand shopping Mall of the town. His eyes were hovering over the female section where different designer clothes were hanging down.. A group of women were busy checking out the dresses.. With much hesitation Viplav gradually approached the young lady who were showing the dresses to the customers, convincing them how these would look the best on them..
"Excuse me", Viplav called out..
"Yes Sir, How can I help you", The lady turned around.. "Our store houses the widest array of fashionable and trendy sarees, salwars, lehengas, kurtis.. What do you want to see?"
"Emm sarees.."
"Sure sir.. please follow me..". Viplav followed the lady who took him into Sarees section and started showing him different designer sarees, Striped, Animal Print, Self Design, Embellished, Applique, Geometric Print, Graphic Print, embroided.. Although Viplav had no earlier experience in buying materials/dresses for any woman still he could say that each of them were really beautiful.. He knew about jeans, kurtis and salwar suits.. he had been accompanying his sister since their childhood days during shopping sessions but he literally had no idea about Sarees.. God knows how women drape such long pieces of cloth around their bodies and that too with much ease !! Viplav wondered. He had seen his mother, grandmother wearing sarees.. 5-6 inches pleats tucked in the petticoat and a few pleats placed on the left shoulder by keeping at least a metre length fall down from the shoulder point..
But Her way of draping the sarees around her is a bit different.. Her pallu pleats were always placed neatly over her left shoulder and they make a deep U in the back.. The other end of her pleats were placed on her right shoulder from under her right arm... Do all the sarees look the same or are they different? or the difference is just in the style of draping them?
"Sir.. shall I show you something else? Did not you like these latest designs?", the lady called out and Viplav came out of his thoughts.. He stared at her blankly for a few moments and then murmered, "I am looking for a white saree.. A plain white saree with not much designs on it.. Can you get me one?"
The lady was sure nervous.. People used to come there to look for the latest designs, for heavy embroidery works on the clothes and here the man was asking for a plain white saree.. ! She quietly pulled out two three packets from the side shelves and placed them on the table..
"Sir we have only three pieces of white sarees with the minimum designs available.. These are to be sent to the tailors for attaching some more gorgeous laces on them ".
Viplav caressed the soft silky material of the sarees and picked up one.. White Georgette Saree with delicate hand embroidery up to the Knee. Sequence is used aesthetically to enhance the overall style. Handcrafted Crochet work running along the entire Saree (including Pallu) adds to the ethnic look. Crochet work at the hem of the sleeve of the blouse made it look lovely..
Viplav was fascinated by the beauty of the simple work on the piece of cloth.. Indeed it was simple but gorgeous. Dhani would have no reason to reject this one.. The earlier white salwar suit had colourful beads on them with sparkling laces but this had nothing in it which was against her taste.. Although he was not sure whether Dhani would accept it or not but still he asked the asked the lady to send it to the counter..
Smiling to himself, he came out of there, preparing several excuses in his mind.. Now with this packet in his hand he would have to return home and face the millions of questions and teases that would be thrown at his face by his Dadiji and Shalini when they will notice the saree.. Ahh, he needed to escape them and enter his room and hide it somewhere. But he knew that was impossible, Impossible for him to lie to those two women who he loved the most..
Thanks to his crazy feelings for Dhani which would help him land into trouble back at home. Unknowingly he hit the back of his head and mumbled, "What are doing Dr. Viplav Tripathi?".
Sunlight poured into the room as Shalini drew the curtains aside and pushed the windows open.. Viplav twitched his face under the blanket and murmured in a sleepy tone, "10 mins more..please go away".
"Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday To the Most handsome Bhaiyaa.. happy Birthday to my hot shot Bhaiyaa..." and her claps resounded in the room..
Viplav removed the blanket and looked sideways at his baby sister.. Not that Shalini was a little girl anymore but her caring brother always refused to admit that she had turned 20 only 4 months back..
"Yeah i know that you are still a kid but i am a grown up now so stop pampering me like a baby", Viplav teased while sitting up on his bed and rubbing his eyes.. Shalu made a face and complained, "I am the first one to wish you and you did not even...".
"Ok Ok thank you.. come here", he threw his arms open and his sister jumped onto his lap.. Placing a kiss on her forehead viplav said, "Someone had said it right.. Phoolon ka taaron ka sabka kehena hai..Ek hazaron mein meri behena hai... (☺️) the lines were written for me i guess.. thanks Shalu baby.. But where is my princess..?".
"Your princess is here..", dadiji said entering the room with a bowl of kheer in her hand..
"Happy Birthday my son.."
"Thanks Dadi", Viplav hugged her grandmother.. "Wow Kheer".. "Not before you brush your teeth.. Go and freshen up.." Dadi ordered..
Scratching his head, Viplav took a look at the delicious dish and walked towards the washroom... "Bhaiyaa wear this.. your bday gift.." Shalini handed him a packet.. Viplav peered into it.. Narrowing his eyes he complained, "Not again Dadi"
"Stop it.. you will have to wear this Kurta and dhoti and come with me to the temple and seek blessing from Lord Shiva".
Making a dull face he turned around to enter the washroom.. silently thanking God for giving these two precious women in his life who genuinely loved him without expecting anything in return..
Dhani had been practising a number of times since the morning what to say when Viplav would ask her why she did not attend his birthday party .. Yes today was his birthday and she had already decided that she would not go.. It was not that she was in a dilemma whether to go or not. She knew that it was simply out of question for a widow to go at such places and that too where people of high classes would be present.. Yes Dhani had never visited Viplav's home but she had been knowing the guy for quite a few months by now and it was not at all difficult for her to figure that Viplav was a very rich man. Everyone in the town had heard about the most prosperous businessman Mr. Dashrath Tripathi and Dhani knew how lavish and grand the party would be.. And a simple widow attending the party and that too for a guy was unimaginable..
But it was difficult to convince her stubborn friend who could not even imagine that her status of being a widow did not give her the permission of making friendship with the opposite gender and spend time with him. She was a widow and even if it did not matter to him, that was indeed a big thing for the people around her and for her too.. She knew that even if she managed to convince him this time, then he might come up with another request the next day which would again be a challenge to the widow customs.
But this time she had made up her mind to directly face Viplav and tell him that continuing her friendship with him was making her simple life complex.. It was not possible for her to agree to whatever he would say.. His presence around her had been making her restless, his absence had been making her worry for him.. Viplav Tripathi was the sole reason of the sudden arousal of different unknown feelings in her heart and she had been doing those things which she should not even think of in the wildest of her dreams..
She knew that he had feelings for her.. With all humility and gentleness he was bearing love for her in his heart but it was not right.. He should not love her.. When she would say that she did not want to see him any longer, he would be sad for sure.. He would try to convince her in being with him but she would have to put up an act of being least interested..
Rejection was actually a good thing, Dhani thought.. It would help him to sort out the people who didn't fit to him. The sooner he would start thinking this way about rejection, the better: a girl's rejection you should be equal to: "It's ok! I'm a great guy and if she can't see it, it's her loss."
The soft corner of her heart protested, but she knew that if she stepped back today then she would never be make up her mind once again to speak of her problems to him. She had no idea what she was going to do..
Her chain of thoughts was interrupted by her mother's voice.
"Dhani..Why are you upset my child?". Dhani turned around to see Dulari standing behind her.
"Nothing maayi.. i am fine", she lied.
"So you have started hiding your inner conflicts from your mother too.. But you are forgetting that I have given birth to you so by looking at your face I come to know what is going on in your mind", Dulari grabbed her arm and made her sit on the bed. She too sat down..
Dhani stared blankly at her mother for a few moments and then hugged her tightly. Resting her chin on her shoulder, she started sobbing silently.. Dulari caressed her back and mumbled, "Dhani dont.. Dont fall in love with him my dear".
Dhani tightened her grip around her, "I dont know Maayi.. Why is it paining so much? Why the left side of my chest is unable to bear even the thought of disappointing him? I should not I know.. but still I.."
"Do you love him?"
"No no no.. I dont love him. He is just a friend.."
"Only a friend..!! Then dont fall for your friend Dhani", Dulari was unable to hold back her tears.. Behind the mask of a strict mother, she had a soft heart too which could feel the pain of her daughter.
Dhani broke the hug and looked at her mother. "Maayi .. I.. I.. think.. I ..."
"I know it.. I know that you love him"
"No I dont and neither do I want to but... I am sorry maayi"
"Dont be my child.. I understand.. You have been too lonely all these while.. I had thought that i was enough for you to support you for the rest of your life but now I guess that I was wrong.. but my child you cannot say with certainty that he too loves you or will love you back, if you fall in love with him"
"no Maayi, i know he loves me.. I had seen them in his eyes".
"And that is because you are too young to understand that your life is not decorated with roses.. I had guessed it long back that you have started developing feelings for him.. Firstly it was a feeling of affection out of gratitude as he had saved my life but then it did not take long before you started admiring every bit of him.."
Dhani was silent.. She had herself never realised since when she had actually started liking Viplav.
"Dhani.. I understand what you are trying to say.. the love which you have seen in his eyes was only for his good friend.. He is such a sweet person.. He loves you because you are so polite and good in nature.. He admires the goodness in you and so he loves you.. he loves the good human being in you... Everyone loves a good girl right? In a similar manner he too loves you..
Dont mistake it to be a love of a man for his special woman.. "
"Cannot he genuinely love me? Why do I have no right to think to be happy again? Did not you hear what he says.. that my being a widow does not matter to him.. He just cares for me. he even invited me without even thinking how his family and friends would react", Dhani said innocently.
"Dhani beta.. this innocence in you scares me.. You are sad thinking he would be hurt if you don't visit him.. The very thought of him being disappointed is making you upset..
Before these feelings in you grow strong, you better step back Dhani.. because when you will fall in love you will love that person with all your heart. And in return you will expect the same. and that's what I am afraid of. If that person fails to give you the love you deserve then you will be shattered."
"Nothing that sort will ever happen Maayi.. I am aware of my limitations.. I know that my ill fate did not give me the happy life which I had desired.. Neither do i now think of settling down again.. i know that everything is over for me.. but what if.. what if he confesses..? what will I do then?
I will not be able to reciprocate and I don't have enough strength in me to let him down.. I fear that such a smart, open minded guy like him would not hold his feelings of Love to his inner self for a longer time.. "
"Love.. do you still have faith in the word Love.. Love is something not associated with men.. They dont love generally.. Viplav do have a soft corner in his heart for you but love is something which every male is not capable of doing. but we women, we know only one thing.. Giving love and giving up life if love demands"
"But if a man falls in love then?"
"Then it is the most beautiful thing in the whole world.. A Man's love for a woman is so strong that he can fight with the whole world to support his beloved, he can turn the world upside down to see a single smile on her face.. He could give up his own life as well as take any life that dares to trouble the woman he loves..
A man genuinely loving a woman is the most amazing thing that can ever happen..
A Woman loves a man.. She has been doing it since the day she gives birth to her son as a mother, then in different forms..as a sister, a friend, a wife.. But a man, when arouses passion in him for a woman out of genuine love, sets an example of how someone can be loved.. But every woman is not lucky enough to get loved by a man. and you are definitely one among them. So forget about chanting love love all the time and get this in your head that he does not love you.. Its not love, It can't be love "
Dhani's gaze lowered to the floor as Dulari turned to look at her. She quickly got up from the bed and headed towards the door, concealing the gloominess etched on her face from her mother. Dulari kept staring at her retreating back as she made her way out of the room.
To Be Continued...😃
Edited by Titli_KK3148 - 8 years ago
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