Salman writes heart-wrenching Letter to Papa Salim! (Fun Take)

Dearest Papa,

I have never been able to express this in words, but you know I have always looked up to you and admired you for being such a huge achiever in life and yet, such a perfect human being. I wish I could have been like you Papa.😕

Merciful God blessed me with unbelievable success, stardom, immense fan-following and love of the masses and yet, I transformed it all into a life mired in controversies, embarrassments, pain and misery. Unlike Arbaaz and Sohail, I have only given you and mom hurt and that is one thing that always haunts me and shames me.

Papa, I am embarrassed but honest to admit that almost like every evening, I am drunk and opening my heart's out-pour to you.

Baar-Baar aap poochhte hain why I do not live with you and mom at your fabulous Juhu Bungalow. Why do I live alone in this 1 BHK Galaxy Apartments flat at Bandra? I too always wanted you to be near me, I too wanted to enjoy three meals every day, made by mom. But how can I be with you all when daily night I get nightmares and scream aloud in my sleep? 😲

Almost every night I see this nightmare where I am drunk, I am driving my tank like Toyota Landcruiser and it is difficult to guess whose screams I hear first!

Whether I hear scream of my driver from rear seat,"Saahab Ji-----Break Maaro-----BREAKKK!!!!!" or the screams of agony of those on footpath, over whom my Landcruiser ran over? "Aaahh------Mar gaya-------Maar Daala------Haaye------Aaah" are the screams in multiple voices that I hear in my dreams and wake up screaming, sweat dripping all over my face. Ever since that fateful night on September 28, 2002!

Every single night I get this nightmare and more than twice every night!😭

After all these years of awkwardness and pain, finally I feel relieved and blessed tonight! And would you believe it Papa, the reason are Keshav and Rajan, writers of my script lines for Bigg Boss -10. With Javed uncle, you wrote block-busters like Zanjeer, Deewar, Trishul, Sholay etc. and having adored and admired you all my life, no wonder my salvation came from two writers only! 👏

Last week in Bigg Boss-10, there was a very nasty fight between a Daayan named Priyanka Jagga and a sweetheart called Lopamudra. It so happened that Daayan kept saying she is not well, some bleeding, some pain and will not do some task of Bigg Boss.

Sweetheart Lopa kept insisting that Daayan must do the task, Daayan has same body temperature as sweetheart has and that Daayan was faking illness. Daayan lost her cool, her fangs and horns emerged out and she called sweetheart a wh**e, sl*t, Do paise ki aurat and a lot more.😈

Surprisingly, sweetheart did not go on a I am boycotting this show until Bigg Boss acts against Daayan" and she too called the Daayan wh**e, sl*t, kahaan se sadak se uthha ke laaye hain is ko, aisi ladkiyon ko main Tip Deti hoon etc. 😡

If judgment was left to me, much as I love sweetheart Lopa, I think I would have either ignored both of them or reprimanded both of them.

That's where Kehav and Rajan entered the picture like Bhagwaan Ke Avatar for me!👏

While writing my script lines for episode to be aired on Saturday, December 24^th and to be shot on Friday, December 23^rd, they explained it to me that what Daayan did was absolutely unacceptable. My brief was to scold Daayan and evict her from show!

Frankly, as I myself am quite liberal with MC / BC gaalis, I was a bit uncomfortable as to how I would ignore Sweetheart Lopa's retaliatory abuses which were no less pungent. 😲

Keshav explained Daayan's was ACTION, Sweetheart Lopa's was REACTION. Rajan refined it further as "Natural Human Reaction"!👍🏼

I actually condoned Lopa's nasty retaliation as her "Ofcourse wo Human Reaction thha" and not even Daayan had any response as she walked out once I booted her out of MY HOME. Sweetheart Lopa clapped, cooed and shrieked "Go Out you filthy woman" and I had got all the answers I had been searching for all my life Papa! 🤗

I know it can left me disabled for the rest of my life or even kill me, but I have finally figured out I need to kill my nightmares and I can only do so if I follow the wisdom I gained thanks to Keshav and Rajan.👏

My action was to get drunk, drive rashly and kill one and maim four innocents. Now I must lie down on same footpath and help the surviving ones to run me over under a car.

Unless their 'Human Reaction' is allowed to perform this much delayed action, your son will see in dreams bloodied and bruised screaming faces and wake up sweating and screaming in dead of night for rest of his life!

Many in Galaxy Apartments feel our building is haunted. It is not haunted Papa---It is I who screams---EVERY NIGHT!😭

Papa, I feel lighter after writing all this and soberness was inhibiting me to write further. So I just sipped three more glassfuls of Chivas Regal scotch and have returned back stumbling to my iMac Air notebook!

You know what Papa? I am not a bad human being. Being Human, that I am I was still feeling a bit bad that I had to follow the Bigg Boss script of ousting Daayan Jagga for something as trivial as abusing! God---I do MC-BC all the time. Imagine if I was evicted out of Bollywood for that!

Friday afternoon we completed this ousting of Jagga' episode to be aired on Saturday and completed it by 15.20 Hrs. Badi Be-Aabroo hoke Jagga left and we asked all Bigg Boss housemates to change their dresses and after 40 minutes started shooting the episode to be aired on Sunday, December 25^th!

I wanted atmosphere to lighten up and that is what my brief to Keshav and Rajan was.

COLORS sent in Manish Paul and Anupam Kher for the Sunday episode shoot. I didn't like Anupam coming in with long haired wig and asked him to take it off. Well, all of them on sets started laughing and said it wasn't Anupam Kher wearing long haired wig but it was Sonakshi Sinha! I too acted as if I was joking but I had seriously goofed up there.☺️

Jagga Daayan was ousted for cheap language and abuses and my simple brief to Keshav and Rajan was to let viewers know all is well after Daayan's exit. They did not let me down and devised a game where one by one we would put headphones with blaring music while the person in front says something and the one hearing loud music had to guess by lip-reading of person saying those words.😉

Manish put on the head phone and I said TERI MAASI CUTE! Poor fellow got stunned, understood it as TERI MAA KI **** 😕 and could merely mumble "Sir, Mummy Ke Baare Mein Aisa Kyun Bol Rahe Ho?"

Being biggest star of Bollywood I can torment lesser souls like Manish surely! When my turn came, Manish said BANK CHOR, imagining I will get it as BEHEN****! He didn't know I wasn't listening to any music on headphone, but Keshav who was whispering,"Sir BANK CHOR bolega----naa gussa hona naa misunderstand kar na please".----- It was great fun Papa! 😆

Returning back to the serious theme of my wrong ACTIONS in life and the 'HUMAN REACTONS' that did not hit me back as they should have, 2-3 times in a month I also get nightmares where I see in my dreams 4 badly bleeding Chinkaras (the Black Buck dears I slaughtered in September 1998). Needlessly we tried to buy witnesses, produce alibis and use bribes to somehow wriggle out of the wrangle and avoid judicial punishments.😕

If Keshav and Rajan had given me this Bigg Boss-10 wisdom way back in 1998, I would have requested Rajasthan Wild Life authorities to make 4-5 big Male Chinkaaras drink a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label scotch each and throw me inside a small enclosure with them. "Natural Animal Reaction' of theirs would have been so justifiable even as they pierced me with their knife like antlers! 😈

I am also guilty of mistreating so many women in my life. Being Human and Being the gentleman that I am, I will not name a single one of them. You can understand Papa---Kahin woh Badnaam naa ho jaayein naa! 😲

One of them got hurt when I ditched her, but her HUMAN REACTION' of moving on and marrying a famous cricketer of that time atleast didn't leave any burden on my heart.👏

Naam nahin loonga Papa, but I did behave very badly with another one who was a Miss World and a pretty successful actor of her time. I would get drunk, scream in front of her house, even thrash her on occasions.

Even though she too ran away and went on to become Bahoo of undoubtedly the biggest super star of Bollywood ever for whom you wrote many blockbusters, (Please Papa never ask me names of either the girl I am talking off or her super star father-in-law), but I do feel though I lost her, still it would only be fair if she could repeatedly smack me with her Gucci Sandals on streets of Mumbai. Really Papa, "HUMAN REACTION" is still not as complete as it should be when it comes to this gorgeous lady.😕

Mere Gunaahon ki list lambi hai Papa, but first I would be going in for me lying on Footpath and Gareebs riding a Toyota Landcruiser all over me.😕

Who knows one single act of 'NATURAL HUMAN REACTION' could be enough to help me get rid of all the nightmares and guilt accumulated over a life time of 51 years!😭

Aap Ka Beta,

Sallu

Originally posted by: MindIt

Some call Dainik Bhaskar guys and tell them that Cruiser has written another letter this time & that they again publish this in their paper as an "original" letter.

Cruiserji - I hope u got the context ;) Brilliant piece as usual.

Originally posted by: MindIt

Some call Dainik Bhaskar guys and tell them that Cruiser has written another letter this time & that they again publish this in their paper as an "original" letter.

Cruiserji - I hope u got the context ;) Brilliant piece as usual.

Originally posted by: slumgod..

Excellent piece of work once again.

Originally posted by: vikas009

Cruiser ji first time i didn't like your post, sorry mate. i know you like priyanka But blaming on salman for her ejection is not good. forum is already full of poisonous posts against lopa, bani, and salman. i come here to read spoiler posts and some sensible posts if i find. This kinda negative post was not expected from specially You.