Posted:
Link and WU below..
http://www.fuzionproductions.com/kuch-rang-pyar-ke-aise-bhi-womanhood-motherhood/
Kuch Rang Pyar Ke Aise Bhi : Is Womanhood All About Motherhood Only?
Today we will talk about motherhood' or to be more precise how exactly a mother should bring up her children. If tying your children forever with yourself, is what you call being the best mother, then that's absolutely the wrong kind of upbringing you are giving your children.
Now let's talk about two mothers. For convenience of understanding, we will consider Mother A (mother of a daughter) and Mother B (mother of a son).
Now through 25 years Mother A teaches her daughter the following 4 things -
1. You should learn to do your own things by yourself. I will not be there always to help you out.
2. You should be independent and strong.
3. You should not depend on me for everything.
4. Try and fail. I will be always behind you to support you.
And through 25 years Mother B teaches her son the following 4 things -
...
1. I will always do every work of yours. Do not worry at all.
2. Be independent and strong but still come to me for whatever you don't want to do.
3. I shall always hide your shortcomings. I shall always be there to do everything that you can't.
4. Try to win always! You are a man and men never fail. You shall be my support when I am old.
Now what will happen if Mother A's daughter becomes the daughter in law of Mother B? A complete foreign kind of upbringing will meet the typical helicopter upbringing' of Mother B. Clashes are bound to happen!
It's the same situation here. The way Asha has brought up Saurabh and Sonakshi is a complete different way to how Ishwari has brought up her children. While Asha is the Mother A here, Ishwari is Mother B. Now which upbringing is better, I leave it to the readers to decide.
Coming to the episode now. These are my tit bits about the episode -
1. Amidst the emotional mothers, we got to see a strong father today.
Why can't every daughter of the country have a father like Bijoy? In fact why can't every wife of the country have a husband like Bijoy? The man today stood up for his wife and didn't flinch before going against his son in law too as he saw tears in his wife's eyes. He was indeed the show stealer today. Trust me, if Bijoy wasn't an old man or a father to a 26 year old and by any chance was a younger man, Dev would have got a very tough competition in front of him. In fact Dev would not have been regarded as the hero of the show probably. Lastly, the Bhatija' comment was simply the icing on the cake. Full points to the CVs for penning down a wonderful character like Bijoy Bose.
2. As I have said before, Dev really understands his father in law.
Despite several taunts and insults, he just takes it in a jibe and moves ahead. Not every son in law would do that. His saying sorry' and thank you' to Sonakshi in the kitchen was a cute gesture too. He is the modern damad' who feels its ok to get scolded by his father in law once in a while if he goes wrong. Much appreciated. But how ironical it is. On one hand we have Bijoy who is not ready to take any insult of his wife even from his son in law and on the other hand, we have Dev who keep taking insults for Sonakshi from his maami. When will you learn Dev?
3. According to Ishwari Dixit, a woman's world becomes narrow when a child is born.
Her world is confound within that crib of the baby. As much as the words are true in some cases, it should not be like that. For if a mother's world gets restricted, how will the same mother introduce her child to the rest of the whole wide world? The child's world will also get restricted.
4. According to Ishwari Dixit, a woman truly gets respect when she becomes a mother.
Rest of her identity becomes meaningless then. Yes, mothers are respected. But is womanhood all about motherhood only? What about those mothers who bring up children without giving birth? A woman who can't become a mother should not be respected? We talked about Kaushalya but there's a reference of Yashodha as well, who brought up her child only to set him free and didn't ever try to hold on to him for her own selfish reasons.
5. Ishwari's speech at the end became more of a taunt for Sonakshi, which she happily took.
But these words will come back to her later, very soon in the upcoming infertility track. In fact, the track probably kick started today only with this speech that was made to look great but wasn't that great at all! For a woman, who thinks there's nothing beyond being a mother in a woman's life will never be able to accept a daughter in law who can't reproduce that gracefully. Sona, there's tough time ahead for you! And I will simply wait for your father's another face off with your mother in law then. The man will surely have pretty and nice things to say to Ishwari then!
6.Dev didn't exclude Sonakshi from his affection
The last few seconds in the episode were very significant.Though Ishwari's words made Dev teary eyed and he went on to hug his mother, when Sonakshi came and simply stood beside them, he only pulled her into the hug. She didn't try to get between them but he did give a share of his affection to both his mother and wife. Ishwari surely didn't fail to notice that as her eyes were constantly on Sona, who stood right beside her firmly held by her son along with her. She probably didn't want to share this moment with anyone but Alas! Dev only pulled in Sonakshi in the moment.
7. Ishwari, why such discomfort on seeing Dev living his childhood again?
Your unfortunate days of hardship, had taken away your son's childhood from him. Deep down, Sonakshi some how brings out that child within him now. The child who still enjoys playing along with his sisters or even forget the world around him and play along with his wife. A mother, who still wishes to gift his childhood to his son, gets uncomfortable seeing his son in his open childish avatar? Why? Because it's his wife who brings out this child within him and not you? Not done! Your embarrassed reaction on seeing Dev playing with his sisters and wife with the cake was simply hypocrisy.
As for my reaction on hearing that speech of Ishwari towards the end, it was exactly like that of Mr. Bijoy Bose.
Lastly, as we started the article talking about motherhood' I will end it on that note only. I have heard my mother reciting poems since my childhood and her great recitation has in some way made me a little aware of Rabindranath Tagore's certain poems from Gitanjali and Sanchaita. However, one of my favourite poems since my childhood is Banga Maata' (Mother Bengal) which I will quote here today.
The poem simply says how an Indian (Bengali) mother bring up their son as their son only but not as greater humans. Tagore addressed the mothers in his lines and asked them to set their sons free, let them know the world, let them commit mistakes to understand the difference between the right and wrong for if they are confined within the boundaries of their mother's den, they will never be able to become a man of honour.
Funny how a poem written 85 years ago still finds reference today. Our society is still the same when it comes to the son' of a family or the mentality of a son's mother.
For the Bengalis, they can read it in Bengali and for the rest the English translation is given below.(u can see that in link)
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Through good deeds and wrong, in sorrow and happiness, downfall and uprise,
Allow your children to flourish and grow, to full human potential realise.
Oh affectionate mother, in your lap most comforting -
As children you must not keep them forever nursing.
Across the world, wherever their places may be
To truly find themselves, you must set them free.
With a hundred little rules that cannot be understood
Do not force blind conformity for just the sake of being good
They must learn to stake life and face torment strong
To find out how to take the right along with the wrong
Grab your good natured sons and push them out there
The world is theirs for the taking, let them show no fear
This great multitude of children, Oh doting mother
Confining them to a identity, you have not let them discover the greater in humanity.
Such a wonderful article by by Saheli Goswami
Anupamaa
Udne Ki Aasha
