To Shivaay, With Love.

Hey Shivaay,

There is nothing more liberating than putting one's feelings into words. So here am I, the man of letters, the shayar, putting my feelings into words. Yet none of my words can confine my feelings for you my brother. Not in Urdu, not in Hindi or English, not in any language.

You are my brother. But you were never just a brother. All those times you have interfered in my life and my choices, all those times we had fights about what is best for me. You protected me; you thought about my future and took decisions for me. More than once I disagreed with you, chided you for interfering; of course you won those fights, but still I was so very bitter with you. Yet you were always the stern father who thought the best for me. You were my father.

When I was groping around the darkness of my own making, you picked me up. You worried for me, spent sleepless nights over my unconscious body stroking my hair. You shed tears, of pain and love. Yet you never lose hope. I was broken and you tried to put me back together. You loved me with all my darkness and you hoped, hoped to guide me to light. You held a hope only a mother could have. You were my mother.

You and Rudra were always the constants in my moments of happiness. If I ever had a moment of happiness, my only wish would be to share it with you. In most cases, both of you were my sources of happiness and I never knew any bliss other than sharing a laughter with you. I shared everything with you, even the things I hid from Rudra. You were my mirror, the one who reflected off the true me. You were also my partner in crime. The times we have ganged up against our younger siblings or the times we ganged up to protect them. In those moments you trusted me to think like you. You were my best friend.

You and I are as similar as day and night Shivaay. Yes, you are the mind and I am the heart. I am black and white and you are grey. You are the realist and I, the idealist. I am night and you are day. But I also realize that without you, I seize to exist. I accept that I tend to drift far off from reality. And You, you are my anchor to reality. You are my voice of reason. And all those times I wavered from my faith on family, betraying it with the lack of trust, you pulled me back. You were my conscience.

If Rudra is my heart, you are the heartbeat, the inevitable parts of my life. You are a part of me and I hope I am a part of you. You are my shield, my great wall. You protect me from the rest of the world and even myself. You mean the world to me Shivaay and being a part of your world is my greatest happiness. Love, the word looks so small in front of the intensity of what I feel for you. But I hope my bond to you conveys all that cannot be said. I love you, my brother and thank you for loving me.

PS- I just elaborated upon Om's speech. Normally guys wont say these things. But melodies unheard are sweeter😆