Wanting to be part of financial decisions and getting control of personal space is one of the first few challenges many women face when they move in with their in laws. The financial aspect doesn't play much of a role here because Dev has always kept his family out of that matter (I would like to point out that this applies to the Vicky matter also. No one still knows how Dev is handling the matter and in fact Dev even told mamaji he will deal with everything). Sona already has her financial autonomy and unless Dev looks at Saurabh project as a problem he needs to fix, this won't cause any rift in the couple.
Personal space however is a biggie. I said this on another post too. Sona has picked the right place to start this time. Vicky, Neha, kitchen are all too public' and Dev can't deal with his love life being so public. The bedroom however is the perfect place to start and symbolise to him & his family that they are now a couple and somethings are personal and should remain so. The loud swing, out of place dupatta and lights decoration - they all symbolise how Sona is like a fish out of water in Ishwari Niwas. The same things look so cute in Bose house. In fact even in Neha's room they would have blended nicely.. But Dev is different! He is Blue-Black and Grey Dixit. Sona has taken the bull by the horn. She was punchy with her mother in law and aunt in law... she was firm and polite. Luckily for her Ishwari's confidence was at an all time high thanks to her son's daft conversation with her the night before and she in my humble opinion has done the absolutely right thing. Sona does need to learn a lesson here (about conversations being brought back into the couple's relationship), Ishwari does need to step back and let the couple adjust and bring a balance in their lives and Dev does need to for one explain his thought process to his wife and two needs to speak his wife's love language - do something she likes - e.g. find your own clothes
I admire Sona for her strategy. She doesn't care for things that sit in lockers. Those keys can stay with her mother in law. She cares for simple things like colour and lights. (Neha, note to self!?)
Now the sensible married for 13 years me says Sona said something very reasonable the other day.. Their room now has things that only one of them likes. I wish they went online together (which she tried to talk about but her love sick workaholic husband missed that... aww :p) or went to a local store and bought some new bedsheets or pictures... or simply a new carpet. But newlyweds make these mistakes. I for one did
However, Sona it's not fair to expect Dev to suddenly start organising his wardrobe. I'll paste what I said on another post. Dont change Dev just like he doesn't want you to change... Time will blend you both together. In fact if you were the old tigress, you would have put some sense in your in laws' brains and they wouldn't do so much damage to your married life and your husband's sanity
"There are a few things to consider. I wish sona learnt from the past. Dev has always found some things mundane and not worth his while. Like shopping for clothes. He doesn't wear what others choose for him. Tina, neha and Ishwari shopped for him. But he told them exactly what to buy.
He used to find relaxing and winding down a waste of time. Sona's logic and love (which he was oblivious to!) changed that.
I am not going to get into the dev-ishwari symbiotic relationship.
Here there are some real practical issues sona is ignoring about her husband. He is a busy man. Sorting your wardrobe isn't a menial task. But he has delegated that. Just like he delegates at work. His mother took that role. Now Sona has a few choices. Getting Dev to organise his wardrobe is a but of a jerk reaction. Just like going to Ishwari to ask for night suit was also a jerk reaction.
Dev will change... sona's expectations will change.
All this takes time
Dr Bose could only change Ishwari's eating habits when Mr Dixit helped her by emotionally blackmailing his mother. It takes two to tango.
I can see why no one aside from Sona and dev should open their wardrobe. I don't see why Ishwari or kichu bhaiya can't sort his clothes and leave them on the bed for example."
I had been alarmed when a few weeks ago Ishwari had said "Kuch bhi to nahi badla" ... Things have to change when a new person joins the household.. especially when this new person is someone whose mere presence makes life bearable for your son
Dev, you have dug such a hole for yourself with the viewers. So far your wife doesn't realise how you desperately and stupidly make promises to everyone and fail to deliver them. Listen, speak to Sona like a man talks to his woman and explain what happened that day with your mother on the dining table. What you don't realise is that you have a very forgiving wife (there are respectful sensible ways around the Asha ma topic. Luckily for you your mother already let you off the hook. But for future, remember your wife believes in talking things through). Don't be scared of losing her. That fear is only making things bad for you both. Open up and let her in your space and talk talk talk. Stop making useless promises. You were so good the other day when you told her so long as she likes it its fine. Then what happened? Are you so distracted by the pressures from mummy, work and hormones that you stop talking to your wife and blurt out badly timed obodhro comments? You have already called her jhula stupid. There is no need to walk on eggshells when a couple talks and respectfuly and kindly agrees to disagree on certain things.
Dear makers,
Are you again redeeming Ishwari with this flimsy "duniya ki reet" lecture she gave Dev and the potential space she is giving Sona
The aunty precap - I will give myself a few hours. Something tells me it will be badly handled where Dev will say it was a slip of tongue. What I would like to see is what I have advised Dev in the para above
Its getting ugly... Get your mops out soon.
Anupamaa
