Expectations and Communication!!!

Originally posted by: tia.o

She doesn't have to sleep with her husband just because she owes him anything. But she wants to be with him and he wants to be with her, yet she is letting a third person's belief which is not even her own belief dictate her relationship.

Exactly.It's not even her belief.

There are a lot of taboos in Indian society... Everything revolves around purity. The ultimate goal of a woman is to be pure and innocent...

A woman can't have sexual needs. A woman always has to deny having sex when a man wants to because otherwise she is not pure or innocent. In fact it's better if she can think of England when the act is happening.

🤣 Ok I can't stop my laughter at this.

That mentality is highlighted over and over in TV shows where I have not seen a single normal consummation scene. It has to be either one will push too hard the other and they will have sex or there will be sex under the influence of drug or alcohol or there will be a fight and they will jump on each other for make up sex.

Sex before marriage is considered taboo, but sex after marriage is apparently makes people impure.

So bottom line is that sex is impure...

And then those very people who consider sex impure constantly talk about having children.

A woman who dreams constantly about a man she loves and wants to be his wife forever, is willing to be anything but be a wife after marriage.

I could see Dev's frustration today. He is doing everything to be close to his wife and his wife is doing everything to push him away.

Ishwari may be North Indian, but Sona is Bengali. So it's not like she is not aware of Durga Pujo.

She could eat just fruit for Devi Maa and not keep any vrat which I think is a bowl of hogwash anyway.

And even if she did keep the fast,she doesn't have to follow the no intimacy rule(which I've never heard of before🥱)It's not like they have to share their private life with Ishwari.It's none of her business.

Sona didn't have to agree to anything without talking to Dev and if she had said that she will talk to Dev about the fast, Ishwari would have backtracked fast because she never wants Dev to know about the games she is playing.

But today I felt Ishwari was behaving more like a wife and Sona was behaving more like his mother.

Ishwari wants to come close and Sona wants to push him away. That's seriously messed up.

And creepy, really really creepy.The satisfaction on Ishwari's face after Sona agrees to fast(basically due to abstinence rule),her expressions during the lap scene,that was disturbing.

How can sex between married couple which is the most natural thing on the planet be impure and ruin a worship?

Sona took the decision to keep the vrat herself without once talking to Dev about it when she knows how he would feel.

I am a very liberal woman as you all know but I am a strict believer of equality. If you take a decision that impacts another person's life or choice, then you have to discuss it with that person before taking the decision.

In my home, my husband has to talk to me first before inviting anyone and I do the same. None of us says no. But we just might have other plans which we have to reschedule or postpone if we have someone coming for dinner or overnight stay or may be we just don't want to change our plans. Or we might just need some rest. It's unreasonable to expect either of us always prepared for everything all the time.

And that's a small thing in the context of a much bigger thing that is a matter of importance to one person if not a priority to the other.

Dev even said what I wrote in my last post. Sona is too busy being a bahu that she forgot that she is also a wife.

And she is going to add another thing to her list to achieve this.Convincing Dev to appoint Vicky.I was pulling my hair when I read that😕For once Dev would have probably disobeyed his mother's order(aah, that was so irritating.Lady, it's his company and his decision to make!)

Another thing is communication. Dev has been clearly communicating his expectations to his wife. But Sona kept the full extent of her decision hidden from him until he actually approached her. Why? Like I said, when people know they are wrong or not being unfair, that's when they hide.

True

And as a result, Dev stormed to his mother who will now pretend to be innocent even though she was subtly manipulating all along. But this outburst will sour Sona's relationship with both Dev and Ishwari.

Dev will think Sona is no longer interested in him when Sona will say that it was her decision and Ishwari will blame Sona for instigating Dev against her.

Isse kehte hai, na ghar ka, na ghat ka.

Yup

Trying to be someone she is not to please someone else, she might damage her relationship with someone who loves her for who she is.

And that's what I was saying all along.

Originally posted by: rose4ever

Exactly.It's not even her belief.

That's even more irritating for me than her constant desire to please her in-laws. Like Gemini said that it's natural to want to impress your in-laws... But trying to be someone else is not the way to do it because that's being dishonest to one's own self and you can't maintain this fake persona forever...

And then those very people who consider sex impure constantly talk about having children.

Exactly. How can by product of an impure act can be pure? How can children be a gift from God if sex is impure and offends the same God?

And even if she did keep the fast,she doesn't have to follow the no intimacy rule(which I've never heard of before🥱)It's not like they have to share their private life with Ishwari.It's none of her business.

Precisely. Why does Sona have to tell anything that's going on in her bedroom? Dev won't tell his mother about it and Ishwari won't dare ask anything to him either. If Ishwari asks just give her an offended and disgusted look. She won't dare ask further in fear that Sona will let Dev know how creepy she is being.

And creepy, really really creepy.The satisfaction on Ishwari's face after Sona agrees to fast(basically due to abstinence rule),her expressions during the lap scene,that was disturbing.

Actually Ishwari and Sona's role reversal was many ways disturbing and disgusting to watch. I felt so sorry for poor Dev today.

And she is going to add another thing to her list to achieve this.Convincing Dev to appoint Vicky.I was pulling my hair when I read that😕For once Dev would have probably disobeyed his mother's order(aah, that was so irritating.Lady, it's his company and his decision to make!)

His company? Ishwari doesn't think so. See how she is looking forward to distributing his company among her children?

Originally posted by: tia.o

Originally posted by: pomegranate

what I don't understand is which newly wedded wife would prefer doing pooja, jhadu pocha, cooking over having sex with her husband? especially because they have never done it before and that sonakshi is still a virgin? there must be some curiosity and excitment. it has been a week since they were married and the much in love couple still did not have sex! unbelievable. sonaskhi is an inconsiderate fool.

Originally posted by: Pehchaan.Kaun

Yes yes and yes.

Yes still the society considers some of the obvious things as impure although it comes with the package of human creation and womanhood (if you know what I mean). God-created things are considered impure and unsuitable for God. This never fits into my brain somehow. As a result, I follow Dev Dixit's path here 😆

Yes, Sona is into a competition she never dreamt on having, at least Bijoy and Asha didn't grow her up in a way that her ultimate life-goal would be to be the BEST bahu of the world. By accepting to Ishwari's unfair demands at the drop of her hat, she is not only sacrificing Dev's expectations, but also Dev's trust on Sona as in why Dev chose a girl like Sona to marry instead of looking someone from his 'biraadri' 😳 If I were at Dev's place, I would have doubts that is this what I signed in for ? 👎🏼

Yes, Ishwari had victorious smile when Sona agreed to keep the fast. She indeed badly wanted Sona to agree for the fast without consulting Dev, because she approached Sona when Dev was not at home, or was not expected to be home for the next 2 days (at least that's what Ishwari thought). But this time it's Sona who Dev should have questioned. 🤔 When the foundation of husband-wife is not solid, it's very easy for any 3/4th person to create MU between them. It's always necessary to let your spouse know about yourself much enough for them to defend your actions even behind your back. Here when Dev's actions are in sync with his words, Sona's not. And no one but Sona is responsible for this 🤔 Today Ishwari, tomorrow Mamiji, then Vicky, Sona's stupidity is giving license to everyone to come walk all over their marriage. What she should first concentrate is to focus on Dev and later fight with everyone else as a team.. By doing all these, she is making way for Ishwari to have upper hand on Dev for ever, like you said - role reversal.

Messed up Sona is creating a mess for herself. In all these, 10/10 to our 8-yr old Dev Babu 🥳

Originally posted by: tia.o

To answer your question, the same newly wedded bride who grows up in a society where sex is considered to be impure. God forbid a woman even shows little curiosity or interest in sex. Before marriage, Ishwari and Sona were talking about little Mr. Abhodro and little Miss Khargosh as if Sona can't wait to jump Dev's bones and Ishwari can't wait to have aphrodisiac stuffed down Dev's throat.

Marriage was over, any desire for little Mr. Abhodro and little Miss Khargosh is also over for both Ishwari and Sona.

Dev is probably wondering W*F. So much talk about babies before marriage that he started to feel uncomfortable and now so many roadblock to the process that the 7% chance might as well be 0%.