Originally posted by: tia.o
That's exactly was my point of the post.
Mental illness is not discussed openly in India hence misconception can form.
i wholeheartedly agree. it shouldn't be taboo too, if someone needs help they should be able to seek help and not receive scrutiny.
Mental illness is not just treated by drugs and clinical psychiatrists. They are also treated by counsellors.
And counsellors are neutral sounding board who are completely unbiased. Their job is to intervene in matters that family or friends can't solve. This branch of counselling is called Family counselling who fixes familial relationship.
Family counsellors encourage open discussions between parties having the problem, of course. Sometimes having a mediator is helpful in pointing out problematic attitudes as a neutral person. But they do not directly fix the issues. They help the parties solve their own issues by mediation.
Now in normal people's life, friends sometimes act as counsellor or sounding board. When we do something wrong, we talk to our friends and they point out where our actions are not right or in contradiction to what is right, as well as point out the consequences of our action.
Ishwari like Dev doesn't have a friend. She has acquaintances who came into Muh Dikhai. But she has no true friends.
She has a brother, whom she is very close to. Who understands her insecurities somewhat best. He is just busy trying to take care of her instead of being a guiding elder. Ishwari has her sounding board , but he cant be tasked with fixing Ishwari's problems.
And she wants to maintain her facade with her family of a poor innocent woman who only wants to take care of everybody.
But trying to commit suicide because she doesn't like the woman her son chose even though she likes that woman in any other setting is not normal.
This is absolutely right. Her parasuicidal attempt (as opposed to suicidal which implies a direct intent to die) was a cowardly act of passing the blame of her inability to come to terms onto Dev and Baldev Mamaji.
She's selfish and cowardly and doesn't want to lose respect of her loved ones. So she takes no blame for her actions and passes it into others so she'll be free of guilt. This is a behavioural trait, not an illness. Behaviour can be changed.
example: I am arrogant. Because I am arrogant, my husband and his mother have fights over me. Because I'm getting flak from them , I become meaner and meaner. One day I realize my folly and change for the better. All is well.
Snooping through a married son's wardrobe to check a gift that he gave to his wife is downright creepy. Imagine if a man snoops through his daughter's wardrobe looking for what his son-in-law gave her. Sounds disgusting, doesn't it?
Did she actually check? 😲 my video link only showed her eyeing the box but not opening it ...OMG
Ishwari is not just having adjustment issues. A person with adjustment issue may get quiet or has a change of behaviour. But she is behaving completely normal and even happy in front of others with a smile on her face.
Yet she is actively sabotaging her son's relationship when a. she begged to fix this relationship and b. She wants grandkids. That means she is thinking something and doing something else all the while explaining to herself why she is doing it. That knowing they are wrong, yet unable to stop behaviour or action is a sign of mental illness.
It's not like she has any reason to have adjustment issues. Sona used to come and stay for the whole day before for her work and she was fine then. The only difference is that now she sleeps in the same room as her son.
Her position as the most important woman in Dev's life is gone. Shared. She already had very little time with him and now she has to share even that with Sonakshi.
I'm not advocating for her, she is needy and possessive, it's obvious. But one can't choose their mother, no? you get what you have and you Love them no matter what their good and bad sides are. My own mom is a notorious gossip/busybody and we have fights over it too and she didn't change ! 😆
Sona did not interfere in her life nor tried to take over her responsibilities.
Then where did she had to make an adjustment?
Nothing changed between her and Sona. The only change was between Dev and Sona. If anything, Sona has more reason for adjustment issues coming from a liberal family where she was treated with love and respect to a conservative family where she cried every single day.
But when Sona has adjustment issues, she sits in a room, talks to herself to build herself up and tries again which is what a normal person do when they know that this relationship is forever.
All 3 of them have adjustments to do. Dev is simple in his heart, my new wife is here and I will shower her with all of my love.
All DILs will go through a period of learning before they blend in well and I'm sure Sonakshi will in no time. Not all in-laws houses are bliss and instantly peaceful and accepting.
But people with mental illness think that if they act out today, it will fix tomorrow as well. They are unable or unwilling to consider the consequences of their actions or how it would look like if the truth comes out.
She knows Sona is married to Dev and they will be together forever. She also wants grandkids. Yet she is trying to keep them apart as if, if only she can separate them for 9 days, Sona will leave Dev after that.
A normal person may not like the situation they are in. But they don't put their relationship on the line trying to sabotage what they don't like. But an abnormal psyche does because they are unable to judge the consequences of their actions.
I accept that there is a problem with her behaviour and thinking but to use the term mental illness is a little harsh. we'll agree to disagree.
Every person with a broken heart isn't a person with mental illness. The person who starts to cause harm is with a mental problem. The action you take in a situation (whether you have the conscience and control to deal with the issue that you are dealing with or not) determines the mental condition.
And that's why I said that Ishwari has mental illness.
I am not saying that using mental illness an excuse Ishwari should get away with murder. But ignoring the matter won't fix anything either. Dev will never leave his mother, so living separate life is not an option either. So does it mean this behaviour should continue on? Someone needs to intervene and it can't be anyone from the family because Ishwari is Goddess there. Hence she won't listen to anyone.
It has to be someone who can be in a position of equal to Ishwari. Since she does not have friends, that leaves counsellor.
I would nominate Mamaji. He's not been privy to what's happening in the house since the wedding. If he sees any of it, I'm sure he'd give Ishwari a stern talking to.
I would love for counselling and psychology to be available to the public in Asia as it is in the West. I hate it that it is a taboo to see a psychologist/ therapist when one has no one else to talk to. Public mindset has to change then the opinion will change.
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