KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 047)
IF THERE WAS A FUNCTIONING and thriving world beyond the gates of Shantivan, then the inmates of that house showed no awareness or interest in it for forty-eight hours. The Prakash brothers---with guidance from the Gupta girls---followed the pattern of the daily household routine of meals and chores and errands. Although, everything felt vacant at the centre. Even when they gathered together at the table, their thoughts were interned in the upstairs bedroom with Anjali. If Arnav was the anchor of the Raizada family, then Anjali had always been its heart. Her disposition, her goodness, her serenity, her faith made her everybody's beloved. Therefore, to witness Anjali's idealism crushed so mercilessly affected them as though a child had been crushed by a lorry in front of their very eyes.
And worse---that they had been helpless to prevent it.
Everyone believed they felt what Anjali felt. Everyone tried to mend her, nourish her, and guide her. Everyone except one: Little Khushi had decided independently that Anjali was to be her friend. And with her four-year old understanding of what friendship was, she began to immediately make demands. Would Anjali help dress her dolly? Would she put ribbons in her hair? Would she play a board game? These demands were never rebuffed by Anjali. She was gentle and generous with the child. And as the family soon noted, when Little Khushi was in Anjali's room, Anjali seemed more equipped to moderate her emotions. When she was overcome by sadness, she roused herself out of it before Little Khushi noticed.
On the afternoon of the second day, Anjali made a request to shift to one of the rooms on the main floor, next to Nani's. She said, with poignant honesty, "I can't sleep alone in a room where I once slept as a wife."
The shift was made immediately, and after consulting Nani, Khushi had Omprakash pack all of Shyam's belongings and had them sent down to the storage room to be dealt with later. Being on the same floor as where the guest rooms were, bit by bit, the child's belongings found their way to Anjali's new quarters. They lunched together amongst the toys and stuffies. And then they napped together under one blanket.
Later, when Yash came to relieve his patient from the care of his daughter, Anjali requested he let her stay.
"She takes me out of myself," Anjali explained.
Yash nodded with understanding. "Children bring perspective. But I know she can be a bit of a tyrant. So please do not hesitate to boot her out of your bed and your room when you've had enough." Anjali smiled at his reply. His eyes dropped to the dominos that his daughter was arranging in a box. "Has she been cheating at dominos?" he asked Anjali.
"Unceasingly!" Anjali confessed. "Even when she's already winning, she cheats." They laughed together.
Little Khushi heard the word cheat and her guilty conscience took hold.
"Daddy! I don't cheat!" she protested, leaping at her father, upsetting the dominos and her dollies onto the floor.
Yash caught her in his arms and suppressed her movements with an embrace. Anjali climbed off the bed and began to pick up the toys.
"Don't trouble yourself with that, Mrs---uh---I'm sorry---Anjaliji," he corrected himself. "Khushi knows she has to keep her toys tidy or they go straight in the bin." He released the girl, and she began to organize her things on the bedside table.
"You've raised a beautiful child, Dr Malhotra," Anjali said.
"Yash, please. Don't let your brother's formality with me rub off on you."
"Yash, then. If you also drop the -ji. Or you may call me Di as everybody here does," Anjali laughed again.
"I prefer Anjali," came the doctor's quick reply.
IT WAS THIS ATTRACTIVE SCENE THAT Arnav and Khushi found themselves intruding upon. The pleasure in seeing his sister laugh was so significant that Arnav failed to see that other something that Khushi immediately saw. And as was often the case with Khushi, one slight inkling led to an infinite understanding, and within a few minutes, she had an exact picture of how this disastrous story would have its own very happy ending.
Yash was helping his daughter collect the dominos from around the bed, while Arnav asked whether Anjali needed anything else to feel settled in the new room. She said she was fine, but as she sat back upon the bed, she sighed as though there was something.
"Don't be angry, Chotte," she prefaced her statement, "but I want to see him."
"Absolutely not!"
"No!"
Khushi looked between the two men, not quite certain who had said what, but certain that they had both spoken at the same time.
Yash seemed to colour slightly, Khushi thought. He stood and explained, "I mean, as a physician, I would not wish to see you further agitated."
Arnav was not so delicate. "Out of the question, Di," he said. He set his words in granite.
"I don't want my first time of seeing him to be in court," Anjali confessed, not realizing how near her words hit her brother's fears.
Yash stated, "if that is your fear, I can ensure that that will never happen."
The three in the room turned to face him with dramatic silence.
"I can inform the courts that as your doctor, I advise that in your condition, you must not be present for the hearing, trial or sentencing. Your written statement can be submitted to the court." Yash said.
Arnav nodded his assent, and took Anjali's hands in his. "Failing that, we can leave Delhi during the trial. Your testimony is not essential. The evidence is overwhelming."
Anjali's eyes teared. "Of course, it is. Everybody we know believed I was his wife. And, now, I am nothing except a victim." Her voice broke and she buried her face in her hands.
Little Khushi, who had been forgotten in this heavy discussion, approached the bed and asked her new friend, "do you need a cuddle?"
Anjali looked at her and drew her into her arms. "From you I need lots of cuddles."
By Jalebi Jane
KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 048)
SHE HAD NOT THE RESILIENCE of Khushi nor the stoicism of Payal. Anjali's loss was equal to her love. At some deep level, she believed that her grief had to reflect the love she held for Shyam. It was this erroneous understanding that Khushi strove to correct---especially after what happened on the morning of the third day. That was the day the Raizada men decided to resume work; Mami and Payal went to the temple; Nani paid a condolence call. Khushi, Anjali, Yash and Little Khushi had just returned from the hospital, where Anjali had undergone some routine tests and a scan. The hospital visit had been arranged by Arnav, who had extracted a promise from his sister at breakfast, before departing for the office, that she would not miss the appointment. The tests were more than satisfactory, and Yash, who reviewed the reports, confirmed that Anjali was in excellent physical health.
Little Khushi high-fived Anjali, even though she didn't quite understand the news.
The scan, however, was another matter. Oh, the development of the fetus was not a source for concern. Rather, the technician had assumed that the man standing next to Anjali, peering at the monitor, was the keen father and she had addressed him as thus several times. In such cases, when the identity of a person is not corrected immediately, it becomes more embarrassing to correct it later, and so for that reason neither Anjali nor Yash said anything. By the end of the appointment, the technician discovered that she had not been addressing a married couple, but a woman and her doctor. It had all been awkward for Anjali; it had highlighted her new status as an unmarried pregnant woman. Her spirits had plummeted, and when they entered Raizada House, Anjali had immediately excused herself. Yash explained to Khushi what had happened during the scan. They decided to give her some space, and were in the lounge having coffee when Little Khushi came to report that her friend was missing. They checked the entire house, they tried to phone her, and when they could not find her, the servants were called to help---again the entire house, and now the grounds were checked thoroughly.
Khushi was on the verge of panic and was dialling Arnav's number when Yash found Anjali. She was in the storage room, surrounded by items pouring out of open boxes---items which had been worn and handled by the man she had worshipped with her heart and body; the man who was now behind bars.
She was weeping uncontrollably.
Yash collected her in his arms and carried her back to her bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed, and covered her with a blanket. While Khushi sat on the bed to offer comfort, he lured Little Khushi---who was disturbed to see her friend in such a state---away from the room.
"Di," Khushi scolded her sister-in-law, when they were alone, "you will make yourself truly ill if you continue in this way."
Anjali looked at her helplessly. "You don't understand. I can't stop thinking of him," she cried.
"Fight!" Khushi rallied. "Fight those feelings." With her fingertips she wiped the tears from Anjali's cheeks and said, "were he worthy of your love, it would be a different matter---but he is not. So close that door."
"Were it so simple---" she began.
"---it is that simple!" Arnav completed, from the door.
ARNAV HAD SPENT most of the morning with Mr Rao discussing Shyam's trial. The case was an open-and-shut case as Mr Rao put it; however, Arnav wanted to impress upon him that Anjali would not give evidence in person, and they were to seek maximum penalty on all counts. Mr Chopra was also consulted. Arnav felt that Shyam may have played this game before.
Were there other women who had been taken by that charm-merchant? Were they dealing with a polygamist? There was also the matter of prosecuting Shyam's first wife as co-conspirator. But there was the fact that two children would be left parentless. This disturbed Arnav, despite his hardheaded attitude towards Shyam. These thoughts created in him a deep longing to be with Khushi. He calculated that his wife and his sister would now be home from the hospital and decided to leave the office and join them for lunch.
Both women turned their heads to face the door. He stepped within the room. Rather than sympathy, he felt some anger towards his sister.
"What are these tears for? What fantasy is being shattered here?" he asked. "That he loved you and was forcibly taken away from you? No! The fact is that he pursued you for your wealth---not your heart!---and he eventually got caught!"
Khushi rose and came to touch his hand, unclenching his fist with her fingers. He read her eyes. He was being unnecessarily harsh, they told him. He drew a deep breath and sat at the edge of the bed and took his sister's hands. "Di, would it easier for you if I just killed him?"
He heard Khushi gasp behind him.
Anjali laughed through her tears, "was that your Plan B, Chotte?"
Arnav pulled his sister into an embrace. "That was actually Plan A."
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN DAYS, the family and guests at Raizada House enjoyed a pleasant dinner together. Khushi and Payal were gratified to see that food was not just consumed but enjoyed. Little Khushi insisted on sitting next to Anjali. She was perched on some cushions, had her own plate and though she made a bit of mess, she was patiently guided by Anjali. Arnav, for perhaps the first time in his life, appreciated the presence of a child at the table: The child engaged Anjali's attention, and nobody spoke of weighty matters while she was within hearing distance.
After dinner, Yash and Little Khushi retired to the study to watch a film. Their laughter brought others into the room to join them, including Anjali. Arnav, at ease that his sister was stable, turned his attention to the woman who had his heart. The woman who had remained awake with him every hour his sister had been awake. And who had then stayed up longer massaging, cradling, comforting him until he fell asleep. Arnav found that woman in their bedroom hanging the suit jacket he had carelessly tossed on the recliner. She was dewy and fresh from her shower. Once again, the schoolgirl, he smiled. He closed and latched the bedroom doors. Khushi turned at the sound.
She picked up her dupatta and came towards the door, "would you like something?"
He raised his eyebrow, and scanned her body in an overly conspicuous manner. "What are you offering, Miss Gupta?" he asked.
"It's Mrs Raizada. And I meant from the kitchen," she said, pushing him away from door to leave the room.
He caught her around the waist, refusing to release her. "I don't need anything from the kitchen. Everything I need is right here." This was illustrated by his hand reaching up to fondle her breast, as he nipped at her earlobe. She allowed his caress for a moment, but then flung his hand off, and asked, in a coquettish tone, "what about what I could use?"
He swung her around and pressed her firmly against the door frame with his own frame.
"I have this," he replied, suggestively grinding against her. "Could you use this?" he asked.
By Jalebi Jane
KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 049)
ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA FELL into that category of men who did not find it easy to admit that he was so vulnerable to his wife. The problem---if one could call love a problem!---was that the more essential Khushi became to him, the more he feared losing her. And fear was not an emotion which Arnav was accustomed to. Nor comfortable with.
This explains why Arnav found it particularly distressing to see his wife having a cozy tete-a-tete with the Doctor at the dining table when he returned from his morning run. No reasonable man could doubt Khushi's ardour---especially after the night they had just enjoyed---but Arnav had never been reasonable on the topic of Khushi. The Doctor's voice was low so Arnav could not make out their conversation, but he felt from their body language that they were discussing a matter that would not allow the interference of a third party.
What did this mean? It meant that when Arnav came downstairs after his shower to join the family for breakfast, he was resentful of the Doctor and provoked by his Wife.
WHEN KHUSHI SAW that Arnav had taken his place at the breakfast table, she immediately brought his coffee. She met his eyes with a smile---but found her smile went unacknowledged. We know, Sisters, that Khushi did not belong to that category of women who believed that everything pertained to them. She was fully aware that her husband was concerned for his sister's well-being, and so she owed his preoccupation to that. By way of comfort, she placed her hand on his shoulder and said, "Di was present at aarti this morning and she seems vastly improved from yesterday."
Again---not much of a response from her husband. Nani, Anjali and Little Khushi joined the table soon after, and Khushi left Arnav's side to serve the fruit salad. She felt Arnav's gaze follow her as she moved around the table. Khushi was still musing on his behaviour when she heard Yash thank Nani for her hospitality and announce that he and Little Khushi would return to Buaji's today, and thereafter depart for Lucknow.
Anjali was the first to react.
"No, you cannot leave!" she said, her tone rather anxious. All those breakfasting ceased to chew and looked at her. Especially Arnav. She immediately moderated herself and said to Yash, "I mean---what I mean is that we have not been good hosts these last few days. There are many interesting places to visit here in the Capital. Places that Little Khushi would enjoy."
The child looked up at Anjali when she heard her name. She then looked at her father. Then, back at Anjali.
Khushi was most conscious that Arnav had his attention on her and not his sister. Nani and Mama agreed with Anjali and pressed Yash to spend a few more days. He politely declined citing that the hospital in Lucknow was expecting him and he had already delayed his start date. But then he added---looking at Anjali---that it would be nice to see the Raizadas in Lucknow. He added that his home was open to them at any time, and nothing would please himself, his mother and Little Khushi more than to have them as their guests.
"We have a house in Lucknow," Arnav said, flatly.
It was an accurate statement, but Khushi felt it was not necessary for her husband to speak in such a tone to the man who had been so helpful in Anjali's recent care. She tried to catch his eye. And when she failed, she knew for certain that he was deliberately avoiding her. This riled Khushi.
What is his problem?!
Anjali made up for her brother's slight and said, "I hope we'll meet again soon. Very soon." She smiled at Little Khushi, but Khushi sensed that her smile was sad and forced.
"Then come as soon as next week. We can celebrate Khush and Khushi's birthdays together."
"What!" This exclamation came from Arnav.
Yash looked at Khushi. Khushi said nothing, but Payal replied for her. "Khushi and Little Khushi share the same birthday."
"How lovely!" Anjali said. "Bhabhi? You didn't tell us this?"
Again, Khushi said nothing. This time she felt her husband trying to catch her eye, and she was determined not to gratify him.
"I'll be five," Little Khushi informed Anjali, holding up five fat digits. Anjali gave her palm a kiss. Khushi saw that Anjali's eyes had grown bright with emotion.
By Jalebi Jane
KHUSHI by Jalebi Jane (EPISODE 050)
IT HAS OFT BEEN SAID THAT angry people are not wise. And though I am reluctant to generalize about an entire sex, this statement is especially true of men. And most especially true of a man named Arnav Singh Raizada.
"You two have had a busy morning planning all this," he blurted, his eyes fiercely trained on his wife, demanding an answer.
Khushi stilled in her movements and Arnav saw her face drain of colour. He instantly felt regret. He had hurt her. But she had hurt him. She had made plans without consulting him.
Arnav's family exchanged looks. They felt all the awkwardness of seeing Chotte being Chotte.
Nani spoke to dissipate the tension. "You named her Khushi because she was born on the same day as our Khushi Bitya?" Nani asked Yash.
"Ji ha," Yash replied.
Anjali said, "in that case, both birthday girls ought to celebrate together."
Little Khushi clapped her hands, and made everybody smile.
Anjali turned to Khushi and caught her hand. "Had Yash not mentioned it, we would have not known about your birthday."
"I ought to have mentioned it," Payal piped up.
Arnav saw Payal glance at him and then at Khushi.
"When is your birthday?" Anjali was asking Payal.
Akaash replied instantly. Payal turned to her husband and asked, "how did you know?"
Akaash said what every wise husband ought to say: "I make it my business to know everything about you."
But Payal recollected the circumstances of her last birthday and pointed out that he only knew because he had given Khushi a lift home from the office that day. It had been very late. Heavy rain, as she recalled.
Payal's words assailed Arnav with images of that day. The photo shoot. The red saree. The rain in the parkade. Anger again had made him irrational that evening. She had almost been run over by a car. Arnav's own heartlessness shamed him. His throat locked with self-disgust. He pushed away from the table, and walked towards the stairs. As he began to climb the stairs, something made him stop. He looked back and saw that Khushi watched him. She had watched him leave. Their eyes met for a brief moment. He wordlessly begged her to come to him. Khushi turned away.
KHUSHI WAS LIVID. How dare he humiliate me in that manner? And, in front of their family and her friend! By the end of breakfast, her anger had dissipated to that level where she could confront him intelligently---where she could be trusted to speak her mind and not simply aim heavy blunt objects at his blasted head. She went up to their bedroom and found him where she expected him. Seated on the recliner with the laptop open.
When she entered the room, he rose to his feet. She closed the door and marched forward.
"Khushi---" he began.
But she stopped him with a gesture of her hand. "Nahin, I will speak." Her breath rushed in and out of her lungs as though she was gasping for life in a tiny closed room. "What have you to accuse me of? Let's have it out!"
A dark cloud descended on Arnav's face. But to his credit, he said nothing.
Khushi continued. "Is your manhood threatened by Yash's presence?"
"Shut up!" Arnav said.
"You behave as though I have betrayed you. So say it." Arnav looked away. Khushi demanded, "Say it! Tell me how I have wronged you?"
Still silence.
Khushi had hoped she would not have to go to this level, but clearly she had no other option. "Fine," she said. "You won't say it, so I will. Yash and I are in love."
The words had barely left her mouth before Arnav had grasped her by the shoulders and pinned her against the glass sliding door. "How dare you speak such a lie?"
"I'm not lying!" Khushi flashed back, struggling against the grip on her shoulders.
"You are lying!" he growled in a threatening manner, his eyes burning into the heart of her. "I know you are mine. Only mine. I know what is between us---" his voice cut off.
The words had come from his own mouth. And that had been Khushi's intention.
"Then why? Why do you persist in this way?" she asked. Her voice softening upon hearing his required admission.
He shook his head. "I don't know, Khushi," he said releasing her shoulders. "Maybe because I know you deserve a better man than myself."
There it was, Sisters---he had said it out loud. Fear did strange things to a man. He knew there were a million better men than he. Men who would do justice to a love like Khushi's.
Khushi heaved a soft sigh. In all fairness, he had warned her that life with him would be a beautiful nightmare. She had not forgotten she had in her lunacy consented. "You are such an idiot! I don't want what I deserve. I want you." She went into his arms and embraced him, but he didn't pull her close. Khushi tilted her head up to him and said, "Do I now need to ask you to hold me?"
He drew her into the warmth of his arms. "I should have known about your birthday."
Khushi smiled, pressing her lips to his neck. "Yes," she said. "You are a terrible husband."
By Jalebi Jane
Originally posted by: roshaanTruly very painful update very well written
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