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Teju

@--Zehnaseeb--

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

I am seeing so many talks abt Sumo talking abt Self respect jaap.. yeah sometimes she does too much of her self respect jaap.. but it's her way of protecting herself. ..

Look if person is getting lecture abt being under their debt since they raised her since childhood.. I don't think Sumo is wrong keeping her self respect.. It's her guards to keep her safe from being under anyone's debt.. n do things which she doesn't want to do.. U know when she was deciding to tell Nanu NO for this marriage.. MAami kept her hand on her shoulder gesturing abt her debt.. this is what person under debt has to do... to do a thing which they don't find morally correct still has to do.. she had to say YES to do marriage with Adi.. even if she didn't want to get married to him.. n remain silent seeing all her family's treatment how they wanted to get rid of her.. n even Shravan too told her same thing.. that noone wants her.. so Shravan is not also exception.. (even if I would have been Sumo's place I will do the same.) she doesn't take any help.. n waisebhi.. it's not she who has taken MAmi's debt.. it was her mother.. but still she is still paying that debt.. n one more debt Mami was telling her that she raised her since childhood.. Shravan had his father to raise him.. but Sumo didn't have any parents to take care of her.. she even once told Shravan during Khosla case when Khosal blackmailed Varun.. n all Ramayana started in Shravan's home.. She doesn't want his this debt.. n also.. when shravan saved her from Adi she said same thing..

It's her way to keep herself away from being hurt.. becoz people somehow in situation bring how they helped her.. how de did things for her.. So whenever someone tries to help her she keeps Her SELF-RESPECT guards ON..

I actually feel bad for her.. she doesn't have anyone with whom she will share her heart pain.. Nanau is elderly person she can't share everything with him.. it was Shravan earlier.. but now he is not also.. 😭

Sorry for Weekend saddy post.. but I just wanted to keep Sumo's POV.. I hope Shravan too will understand this one day.. how does it feel not having UR own parents n someone raising U.. n time to time showing they are doing some ehsaan on U by doing this.. I will say// in thsi matter Sumo is really Stronger than Shravan.. Shravan is still cribbing abt his mom leaving him behind.. yes he is not wrong in thinking like that.. I am just talking abt being mentally strong..

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Ammy

@--Amulya--

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

Strongest Character - Suman

Weakest Character - Shravan

Crappiest Character - Ramnath

But if I were in Suman's place I wouldn't marry Shravan only for paying off the gratitude... if gratitude is the issue then I would have clarified that to Maami that its paid off by me lending a hand in my cousin's wedding and I can't spoil my whole life for it... I would've married Shravan as the character of Suman still loves Shravan and holds him so dearly to her heart, so would love to give another chance to my life

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Teju

@--Zehnaseeb--

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: zam123
Agree with your post.

Thanks.. 😊

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Teju

@--Zehnaseeb--

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: --Amulya--
Strongest Character - Suman
Weakest Character - Shravan
Crappiest Character - Ramnath

But if I were in Suman's place I wouldn't marry Shravan only for paying off the gratitude... if gratitude is the issue then I would have clarified that to Maami that its paid off by me lending a hand in my cousin's wedding and I can't spoil my whole life for it... I would've married Shravan as the character of Suman still loves Shravan and holds him so dearly to her heart, so would love to give another chance to my life

Yes.. She was thinking same to say No.. but looking at Mami she said yes.. hope Shravan will soon understand what she has gone through since childhood.. n abt Shravn... I hope Sumo will soon understand how much sensetive he is.. even Nimmo said same thing shravan won't ever hurt anyone.. but he will hurt himself.. that's why she did call Ramu kaka dat day.. but.. Ramu kaka's ego.. I am getting scared seeing Shravan talking like Ramu AKaka.. der will be no redmption for him if he will fall in his own eyes after truth will come out..

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mehersudhar

@mehersudhar

Inactive

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Teju_wkar

Yes.. She was thinking same to say No.. but looking at Mami she said yes.. hope Shravan will soon understand what she has gone through since childhood.. n abt Shravn... I hope Sumo will soon understand how much sensetive he is.. even Nimmo said same thing shravan won't ever hurt anyone.. but he will hurt himself.. that's why she did call Ramu kaka dat day.. but.. Ramu kaka's ego.. I am getting scared seeing Shravan talking like Ramu AKaka.. der will be no redmption for him if he will fall in his own eyes after truth will come out..

In yesterday's episode he told her that kyafarakhpadtahai tumnebhi kaha hi shadi keliye. He knew she too pressurised like him.

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Teju

@--Zehnaseeb--

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: mehersudhar

In yesterday's episode he told her that kyafarakhpadtahai tumnebhi kaha hi shadi keliye. He knew she too pressurised like him.

If it's so I hope he will think d same den why did she say yes to Marriage with Adi too.. ? He reaaly needs to get out of that Sumo ditched me mode..

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avni01

@avni01

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: --Amulya--
Strongest Character - Suman
Weakest Character - Shravan
Crappiest Character - Ramnath

But if I were in Suman's place I wouldn't marry Shravan only for paying off the gratitude... if gratitude is the issue then I would have clarified that to Maami that its paid off by me lending a hand in my cousin's wedding and I can't spoil my whole life for it... I would've married Shravan as the character of Suman still loves Shravan and holds him so dearly to her heart, so would love to give another chance to my life

I agree with u totally and sumo is probably doing the same ,marrying shravan because she loves him. If she made this decision for mamiji then she wouldn't be so happy and hopeful about her future. Remember how she was when her wedding was fixed with adi. I totally understand sumo. Shravan s character has been degraded so much that I don't getu him now. The show is losing its balance. Too many negative tracks and mus. Some thing needs to be cleared else is getting stressful to watch.

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an_chau

@an_chau

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Hi Teju, appreciate your POV. Isn't it strange though how we keep pitting the two against each other, and comparing their positives and negatives, yet, we cannot NOT see them together... 😆

That I think is the best aspect of EDKV, you can't pick sides. They are a package deal 😃 - Buy One, Get One Free (BOGOF)... That's why I've always been Team ShraMan... Even during the hardest of times, I've not been able to choose one over the other.

They are both so similar in ways that we don't even recognize at first glance.

1) Fight or Flight: The most obvious take here is Sumo's a fighter, while Shravan is a runner. Sumo has fought all odds since she was a child, and survived to tell that tale with a smile on her face. Shravan has had a cushy life, but whenever faced with strife, he has taken the easy way out by fleeing the scene.

But tell me this, whenever Sumo is faced with a dilemma that pits her own dreams against those who she thinks she owes her life to, what does she do? She shuts her Sumo self into an iron box, and throws away the key. All that is left is Suman, who accepts everything that life deals her, and decides to go with the flow. Is she also not then running away? By choosing not to fight for herself and now Shravan, is she also not hiding?

2) Living in the shadow of the past: I made this comment on Chick's thread last week, and am borrowing generous chunks from there to put my POV across. (Hope you don't mind Chickster! 😛)

All of us keep talking about the impact of Shravan's troubled past on his present and consequentially on the ShraMan relationship. Undeniably so. We have been mad at him for still clinging on to wrongs that have been done to him in the past, and not learning to let go and trust again. We have hated the way he has put Sumo down time and again, and his views on women in general.

But Suman's past has a long shadow too. This sense of indebtedness toward her family is a creation of that past. It has even spawned a very strong, often stubborn, rebellious even, sense of self respect. And both - her feeling of indebtedness and her self-respect - has had a telling effect on the ShraMan relationship.

Let me be very clear here: Self respect is all good, no questions there, but there have been moments when she has been too blinded by her ego and chosen to hide that under the garb of self respect. For example, I still don't understand why she blew her top at Shravan when he got her a different sangeet venue at a discounted rate. Yes, he did go behind her back. But would she have accepted it, if he had told her the truth? Nope. Another case in point: I admire her saying that she wants to bear the costs of her own wedding (You go girl! That's a Millennium Woman!). She says she wants a simple wedding (fair enough!), but does she discuss that with Shravan? No. She just announces her way. I think for the both of them, one thing absolutely needs to be drilled into their heads. Communication. Often, it's less about what we say, and more about how we say it. Shravan as well as Sumo struggle with this. And it leaves me laughing - one a lawyer and the other a businesswoman. Both in professions where communication is key!

As for her sense of indebtedness toward her family, we have seen how that had brought her almost to the brink of losing Shravan forever. (Besides driving both of them - and us - insane!)

Well, the point of such a long winded post 😆 is that BOTH of them are living in the shadows of their past. They had chosen the best way they could think of to protect themselves from the mountain of hurt they have endured over the years. I wouldn't judge either of them for clinging to their past, simply because neither of them has really had the opportunity and the space to heal. This is my hope from their marriage track. That they heal each other and themselves.

The night's darkest right before dawn breaks, right? When you hit rock bottom, the only way you can go is up. 😊

I'm ready for their journey to begin... where they gain fresh perspectives, and learn lessons from their past, but don't let its shadow engulf their present and future.

I sincerely didn't intend this comment to be this long 😆 or for it to be a criticism of anyone else's view. Just putting my two cents across...

#TeamShraMan

Edited by an_chau - 9 years ago

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nith125

@nith125

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

@Teju : Lovely post ! I agree with you specially at point where you say you would have done the same thing if you were Sumo, I am so with you on this. You know what the worst thing in life is, when people who you have always considered your own consider you an outsider.

I know we keep saying that Maami is selfish but she loves Sumo, does she really ? Will a person who loves you ask you to do something they know you don't want to ? Maami has never loved Sumo. She was always a burden to her. I don't blame Maami actually, she didn't sign up for this. And yet she uses Sumo, I want to use the word "exploit" but I know half the forum will start throwing bricks at me.

So what does an orphaned unwanted and emotionally exploited child do ? She tries to do everything to please those around her for an ounce of love. Does she get it ? No and that is the tragedy of the situation.

She does go overboard about self respect sometimes and I forgive her for that. But we as a fandom are always more critical of Suman than Shravan simply because we are women. We judge her every word and action because it is a projection of how we are judged every time we say or do something. We cloud her with her own perceptions and complicate the simple character in attempt to identify ourselves with her, do we not ?

@Anu : I don't think we are at the rock bottom yet unfortunately, we are close though. I hope we get there soon now.

I wouldn't judge either of them for clinging to their past, simply because neither of them has really had the opportunity and the space to heal. This is my hope from their marriage track. That they heal each other and themselves.

I love what you have said here Anu ❤️ and I think they should heal themselves first and that means healing each other na ?

I am #TeamShraMan too. I always say that I am Sumo person but the truth is that one cannot be a Sumo person without being a Shravan person and one cannot be a Shravan person without being a Sumo person. It is impossible to love one half of someone and hate the other half, for it wouldn't qualify as love at all.

Let me stop now, instead of going on for another half page 😆

Edited by nith125 - 9 years ago

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Teju

@--Zehnaseeb--

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

@Anu: yeah.. team ShraMan.. right... both has flaws... n both needs to understand each other's flaws.. that will help them to overcome each others flaws n also.. help themselves too.. I find both Imperfectly Perfect.. = "EK DUJE KE VAASTE" 😉 #TeamShraMan

Edited by Teju_wkar - 9 years ago

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