Posted:
Hey guys... just with a ramble again... hope you guys don't mind...
Epitome
As I entered the room after winning a battle between my mind and heart ,I saw her near the balcony staring at the stars and moon with a beautiful smile never leaving her face.. she was talking to herself and smiling...she was decked up like a new bride.. she is still as beautiful as she was 14 years ago, if not any less... sure all these years took a toll over her but that doesn't make her any less beautiful.. she is wearing a pink colour saree with good artistic work..may be the ones she used to wear in Mithila.. with very minimal make up.. she looked like an angel... I had this urge in me to hold her to myself..closer to my heart.. I think now she is out of her dreamland and realized my presence..
As I was engrossed in my thoughts I felt someone's presence... I turned around to find him staring at me.. I have asked him to join me ... he looked divinely today.
He was happy the whole day.. the smile which adored his face hasn't left his face throughout.. but now he was devoid of that gracious smile., He looked tired but sad even more.. I failed to understand what made him sad all of the sudden.. I recollected the days' events but couldn't come up with a single reason which can make him uncomfortable or sad...
We stood there holding each other's hand gently and reminiscing our happy old days.. that's exactly when all the barriers between us crumbled.. I slipped myself into his arms..I wanted to feel his presence.. he is now with me.. I'm slowly taking in it myself... as if he was waiting for it, he wrapped his arms around me, possessively not wanting to let me move..
M: I missed u swami.. now I can't stay a single minute away from you.
B: Even i can't dear.. I have hurted you alot.. please forgive me...
That's exactly when I realized that the guilt in him which made him sad..
M: You haven't done anything to apologize Kaikeyinandhan.. and you could never really hurt anyone, lest me..
B: No Mandavi.. you are too lovely to point out my mistake..
M: You could never make a mistake swami..
B: I did.. I failed as a husband.. I have not kept up the hopes I gave you.. I left you all alone in this palace, you believed me completely and left your parents' place.. but I failed you..
M: No swami, its me who could not accompany you.. I had my own set of responsibilities.. I had three mother's, brother like brother-in-law and sisters here with me, but you were all alone there..
B: I could not be a good son, brother or brother in law or husband dear..
M: Why are you saying that?? Who said you so ?? Nobody can point their finger at you.. you are best in everything...
B: I was away from my father at his last minute.. I was not even looking at Mata Kaikeyi all these years.. it's because of me Mata kaushalya and Mata Sumitranandhan has to depart from their own sons... it was because of me Ram bhaiya has been sent to Vanvaas, Lakshman too followed... what wrong did sita bhabhi did to get vanvaas and because of that she got kidnapped by that demon Ravan.. and Urmila!?? She had to get separated from her husband and slept for 14 long years, sleeping all her youth... and you??? I left you all alone here due to my guilt.. you had huge responsibilities and you did all that I would have done if I were here.. today everyone 's suffering were ended, but I couldn't face you...
M: You are right, may be you are the root cause of every problem...
His head flung, his shoulders were defeated, his eye lids were trying their best to shield the tears brimming... I lifted his head, and got hold of his shoulders and with a steady eye contact, continued...
M: Kaikeyinandhan, yes may be you were the root cause of this because everyone loves you unconditionally... Mata Kaikeyi got boons from Maharaja just to see you rule coz she loves u with all her heart., And Maharaj was damn sure that you will not agree to rule in Ram jijashree's place because he believed you with all his heart.. Ram jijashree even made everyone understand that you would be just as good as him in ruling, if not any less.., because you are his most favourite brother... Mata Kaushalya and Mata Sumitra were as much affected on your departure as they were affected with Ram jijashree and Lakshman's departure, because they never differentiated between you four sons... Even though youngest and naughtiest among you brothers Shatrugnan followed your orders and ruled the kingdom, inspite of departing from all his brothers is just because he idolizes you... You are so pure and loving that everyone wishes to have you for themselves Kaikeyinandhan... and about the hurt you felt you caused me!!! Believe me you haven't hurted me... you just made me love you all the more.. I feel I'm blessed to have you as my soulmate, I'm proud to have you, who could have opted to live a sanyasi life when he was offered to rule the whole kingdom, just because he knows loves his big brother and follows his dharm...
He nodded his head agreeing with me..,a genuine smile adoring his face which reached his eyes...There it is, he finally understood what I was trying to explain... thank God atleast I learnt the art to explicate from Sita didi... he pecked lovingly on my forehead
B: What would have I done without you Mandavi?? I love you with all my life darling...
M: I love you too Swami... but you have to accept one thing...
B: What is that now??
M: That I love you more than you love me...
B: Noway Mandavi.. I will show you how much I love you.. you wouldn't have dreamt of it...
He had that naughty glint in his eyes which so new for me... he is no less than his twin brothers lakshman and Shatrugnan in mischiefs.. new side of him...
Anupamaa
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