Chapter 8
Maybe he was looking at her for longer than he realized stood at the opposite end of that corridor as he walked into the correct hospital passage. The next thing he felt was Amans palm upon his shoulder.
"You alright ASR..?"
He nodded a yes now breaking himself from looking at Khushi sat in the distance. "You should go see nani she's been asking for you". That meant she was conscious? Happy to hear so as Aman walks off to get them food for non of them had eaten anything in hours Arnav walks down the corridor and thinks maybe his mind was still playing tricks on him. Maybe Khushi wasn't there at all. He walked the length of the corridor unsure of his eyes but when he got to the end and Khushi was very much still there sat on the chair just outside the room. She looked at him with a half hearted smile the type you provide to someone you know who is going through a bad time but smile is all you can do to help that person. He replicated it Khushi noticed that he seemed a little lost but she put it down to the circumstances. He walked into the room met with his grandmother who was now in a stable condition of sorts. It gave him great peace of mind to see her conscious and her to see him.
When he walked out of the room Khushi was still there, brushing his eyes a little with the palms of his hands he realizes that it is no dream.
"Aman informed me" she said looking towards him.
Of course, Aman always knew what to do.
Shes a lot better now isn't she - Khushi tried her best to put a positive spin on the matter because that was the best thing she could do but Arnav could not keep his eyes of off Khushi for a second in his mind he was just thinking about everything he had been feeling this evening for her about her.
Just as he thinks of taking a seat next to her his eyes catch the elderly lady from earlier on in the night stood at a distance it looked like her family were making preparations to leave. A son maybe whom was signing some formalities at the reception desk. Arnav took a seat next to the lady who recognised him straight away.
"Is that Khushi?" She said looking past him..
He nodded a yes. She looked exactly like the lady expected her to beautiful and she was here for him without him asking that meant she loved him too!
"I didn't get a chance to ask you who you are here for" He felt rude to not have thought to have asked earlier.
"My husband, he didn't make it" - replied the lady..
Not expecting such a horrific response Arnavs expression creases like ones would to hear such a thing.
"I'm sorry.."
"Don't be we lived a wonderful life" she said as she got up from her chair with aid of her walking stick because her son was now ready to take her home.
Before leaving she turned back to Arnav, those eyes of hers ever so mystic and constant reminder of his grandmother.
"Life is short and loved ones precious don't let her go."
Arnav looked back at Khushi for a moment who was sat in oblivion on her own at a distance.
...
Aman had picked up both of them some food, handing them some paper bags he takes his leave for the night, someone had to get up at a decent time later to run things at the office. Arnav appreciated Amans help and wished him good bye making sure he knew he did not have to worry about work.
It was just the two of them now, in that hospital corridor in the middle of the night waiting for news on when they could take nani home. Khushi was wrapped in a shawl as per the time of night and the air conditioning in the hospital whilst the temperature didn't bother Arnav. It seemed as if out of the two of them it was his mind that was still awake at this time of night, Khushi seemed at peace.
Uncovering salad bowels from within the paper bag probably the best that Aman could find at this time of night both of them begin to discard the wrappers from the "
"I spent a lot of time thinking about you today Khushi" He spoke with his eyes on her whilst she continued to concentrate on her food and when appropriate reply.
"Hamare bare mein, Kyun?" (About me? Whys that..)
"I want you to reconsider." She assumed he was talking about the job he didn't have to worry because she had already decided that she was going back to work. She hated the thought of leaving nani this way. "Hamne te kiya hai ke ham kal se kam pien vapas aarahe hai" ("Its okay I've decided im coming back to work tomorrow anyway.")
She misunderstood him. "I'm not talking about work Khushi I'm talking about us."
Khushi turned to look at Arnav unsure if she had just heard those words. Eyes always spoke louder than words and her former husbands were ones she had learnt to read over the years.
"Aap nahin jaante ke aap kya keh rahe hai" (I don't think you know what you are saying..)
He did that look in his eyes wasn't an unsure one.
"I don't use unexamined words khushi"
Did he not realize the implications of what he was saying, a wife wasn't something you could just invite into your life whenever you liked.
"Aaap kahe aur ham maanle..?" (You ask and I agree is that what you hope for?)
That was the first time ever Arnav heard Khushi speak to him with a tone of stringency.
He wasn't making a demand, it was from the heart and if Khushi looked into his eyes without clouding her view with her dismay of the past she would have seen that.
- "Not at all, the choice is yours.. I am simply asking you Khushi to give me one more chance give us another chance.
Her pride was hurt, she was a lady with traditional values yes but she wasn't going to go running to him just because he decided that it was now time to have her back.
"ab kyun.. aap apkele hai is liyey, ya phir ab lavanya nahin hai is liyey...""(Why now because you are lonely, because there is no lavanya in your life there is no one to look after you affairs?")
He could feel the resentment, the anger and the hurt in her voice but he to correct her.
"Because I now realize that you are the one Khushi, we are meant to be"
There was something in his eyes that silenced her something genuine she couldn't fight because she loved him too but she ignored it that proud voice of a lady within her was still very strong .
"Aap ne hamare bare mein kuch palon ke liyey kya socha aap itne behchen hogayey hamne toh salon betayey hai Arnavji."
("You thought about me for what a couple a minutes today and its unsettled you, I've spent years this way..") He saw the engulfment of tears in her eyes as she got up from her seat taking with her the packaging from her food to discard of.
He hated himself like never before in this moment, he was the reason she was in so much pain.
She needed to be left alone, he could not console her he would just make her angry and so he left her having said his piece.
...
Sometime later as Arnav walked toward coffee machine which was some way from nani's room he found that Khushi was also there.
There was just silence it wasn't like she didn't recognise the footsteps that made there way behind her or that heart beat for that matter that she could hear when she stopped next to her and pressed the correct button she had been strugerling to figure for the last few minutes. She had cried, that he could make out and it was like a stone being dropped on his heart. He didn't expect her to say anything more, he assumed that was it, his damage was not reparable and he was not deserving of her.
When he used the machine for his own cup of coffee he heard her say from behind him.
"Kya tha usmein joh ham aap ko na de sake" (What is it that she had that I didn't?)
It was a question that took guts for any woman to ask. A little taken back by the nature of the question its self when Arnav turns back to khushi after successfully pouring his drink from the machine he catches a very bold look in Khushis eyes before she lowers her gaze a little. She was no longer that slightly meak khushi that he had married this phase of her life where he was missing had strengthened her greatly.
He thought about his words but he also intended to be honest regardless of what it would sound like because this was no time for lies or false explanations. "Nothing really, It was just sex, it was her sense of rebellion towards the traditional lifestyle that attracted me to her."
Khushi had her own take on that, she often wondered this and now she had heard it from him the intrigue was over. Sex - because Khushi was always the more shy sort when it came to intimacy and rebellion because Khushi was a simple and traditional girl always obliging to rules and tradition.
Arnav took a zip from a very lame sort of generic tasting coffee and looked up as she further demanded answers from him.
"And if you change your mind again? .. aap kahin phir se apna irada badal de toh?"
The anguish in Khushi was clear to see, he understood why the trust was broken he had broken it but he also saw that beyond the anger and reservations was still a woman who held feelings for him he was just too stupid to do right by her in the first place.
"I won't but you will have to trust me the best you can on that" he was honest and so was she when she looked at him with reservation in her eyes.
...
On one hand was the anguished woman with her pride, dismay and anger and on the other hand the lady that was still uncontrollably in love with her former husband even now. It was now up to Khushi to decided which was going to win. The bitter broken side of her or the wife who's love had kept her so strong that she was able to reach a day where there was another hope for it to be fulfilled.
There was just silence for a long time between them post that little bit of conversation at the coffee machine. They waited patiently for news of Nani' dismissal Arnav paced up and down the corridor whilst Khushi sat quietly in one corner the dispuite of there reunion still lingering in the air.
Finally a nurse stepped out of the room with the much awaited news. "Aap ab une le jaa sakte hai" (You can take her home now) she said.
There were smiles to be had on all faces for a moment. Khushi looked towards Arnav as if to say she wished to visit Nani and he agreed she could help her in prep to leave whilst he would complete the formalities.
...
Arnav had just finished signing the last bit of paper when Khushi steps out off the hospital room behind Nani in her wheelchair. Was he happy to see her, his smile from ear to ear on his tired expression he kissed his grandmother on the forehead and she simply smiled In response and placed the palm of her hand over Arnavs cheek lovingly. She was okay she told him.
"Good! We'll drop Khushi home and they were are going straight home where you belong" he said to her but Khushi had a correction to make. Stood from behind nanis wheelchair Khushi didn't seemed to look a him much as she spoke.
"Ham aap ke saath aa rahe hai.. " (I'm coming with you..)
He could not believe his ears, he watched how nani reached to put the palm of her hand over Khushis that was on the handle of her wheelchair their alliance making their alliance in this apparent to him. She wasn't done.
---"Par hamari sharton pein" (But on my terms) that bit she said a little more strong willed.
"Ham Lavanya nahin hai is liyey aap hame hamare pure adikar vapas de kar hame ghar le jayenge aur uske baad sharte hamari hongi, agar hame kisi bhi vakt laga ke hamare jasbat badal gayey hai toh hame apne faisle par mukarne ka pura hak hoga."
(I am not Lavanya so I will return home after I am returned all my rights as your wife after which I will be the one who lays down the conditions and for whatever reason my feelings change I will be free to back out. )
Her response was the result of both sides of Khushi, the still in love wife and the separated anguished woman finding middle ground.
He could see that clearly in her words and her conditions but that did not put him of. There was more to be gained then lost and he wouldn't loose!
----"Agreed." He said with a smile.
...
Next Chapter:
She waited outside his room, he wondered why it was that she was stood outside it that way.
"You can come in" he said straightening his tie a little in front of the mirror, prep for there little ceremony in the temple.
She wouldn't and It wasn't because they weren't re-married just yet it was because she didn't want to step into a room where he had shared the bed with another woman.
"Nahin ham yaha theekh hai" ("No i'm fine here..") she replied..
"Kyun .. it doesn't make sense you can't see my tie from there can you??!"
Khushi closed her eyes for a moment in frustration if that's what it was going to take she would say it!. "Ham waha kadam nahin rakhenge jaha aap ne Laavanya ke saath..--- " (I don't want to be where you and Lavanya.. ) she wouldn't say the rest because she was Khushi.
..
"Kuch nahin kiya ! " (Didn't do anything ) He shouted from in the room , "we didn't have sex here okay we used her room!!!"
Khushi had a right mind to strangle him with that stupid tie for being so open about it.
...
Edited by jagrutid - 9 years ago
Udne Ki Aasha
272