DevAkshi FF: Dreams And Desires DISCONTINUED - Page 9

Chapter 3

Sonashi's hands fisted the bedsheet. Silent tears dripped down her closed eyelids. Suddenly she lifted her hand to reach out to someone but then dropped it in defeat. Helplessness and agony twisted her face. She jerked awake and bolted upright, gasping for air.
It was a dream. Just a dream. But once it was a reality. A painful reality that she still couldn't accept.
Her face was drenched with sweat and tears. While her heart pounded loudly inside her chest. It had been so long but still that unfortunate incident haunted her. During the days no matter how bravely she'd push her agonizing past behind and move forward but on some occasional nights her past would pounce on her and drag her back.
Fresh tears welled up in her eyes. She wasn't weak, she'd constantly remind herself but then these nightmares would just show how broken she was.
Drawing her knees close to her chest she helplessly dropped her face on them and sobbed.
One more night passed away as she cried herself to sleep.

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The morning rays streamed in her room like a much awaited friend. Opening her puffy eyes she was more than glad to see light around herself. Nights scared her whereas days gave her confidence. Confidence to face the world...hopefully with a smile. Pushing aside the bedsheet she got off the bed to start her new day.
She glanced at her bedside clock. It was six and she had only two hours to complete her household work before going to the college.
It had been more than a week since she'd started her college. Barring the first day that had been dreadful, the rest of the week had gone by quite peacefully. Her classmates though competitive but still were nice to her. In fact everyday she looked forward to attending her classes. Learning something new excited her. After taking a quick shower she went to the kitchen. As she chopped vegetables she also boiled water for tea. She didn't want her Maami to scream for her bed tea.
Radha yawned openly while stretching her arms. Her retired husband was out for his morning walk and her good for nothing niece, sonakshi was yet to get her tea.
She was about to yell at sonakshi when she entered the room with the tea cup.
" do you have a problem in getting up early?" She taunted sonakshi who lowered her head and softly mouthed, " sorry maami." radha simply shook her head, she was tired of her never ending apologies.
" before you rush for your college make sure to prepare a dessert for lunch. My friends are coming over." Holding the empty tray, sonakshi nodded and turned to leave. She'd reached the door when radha spoke again.

" and for God's sake don't make your favorite jalebis, prepare something else."

Radha somehow always found faults in sonakshi. She cursed the day when her emotional fool husband brought sonakshi home after both her parents died. They were a childless couple and he believed that sonakshi was God sent, they would raise her like their daughter.
Nonsense.
Instead of leaving his niece in an orphanage, he imposed sonakshi's responsibility on her shoulders and she'd been discharging it now for years. She didn't know for how many more years sonakshi would burden her house.

Maybe till sonakshi didn't get married. A part of her wished to throw sonakshi out of the house as soon as possible but the other part didn't. Not that she had any soft corner for her but sonakshi was helping in running the house. Her income from tuition classes did contribute toward the household expenses. After sonakshi's marriage, surviving on her husband's pension would be tough thus with a very heavy heart radha had to put up with her niece.
Coming out of the room radha found sonakshi stirring something in the pan.
" what's cooking?"
" halwa."
radha smirked. " honestly sonakshi, I haven't seen a girl lazier than you. You're making halwa, such a simple dish? And why because you want to run to the college."
" maami, I'll make something else." sonakshi quickly glanced at the wall clock.
radha waved her hand in the air. " no need. I don't want you to blame me for getting late for your classes. However sonakshi , I seriously don't understand why are you wasting three years in college? Instead take up a good job and start earning more. How long will your uncle bear your expenses?"

sonakshi wordlessly averted her gaze as her eyes filled up. She didn't want to depend on her uncle but she had no other option. Completing her graduation was also important for her. She was trying to support the house and herself through tuitions but that didn't seem to be enough for her aunt.
sonakshi's days started with radha's taunts and ended with her sarcastic comments. Over the years she'd been listening to them without answering back. Though her words hurt sonakshi, but somewhere sonakshi felt burdened by the favors done by her uncle and aunt. If they wished they could have abandoned her but they didn't. In this whole world she had nobody except them. Good or bad, they were her only family and she valued them. So pushing back tears of insult she continued with her work.

sonakshi was sweeping the floor when her uncle came home with the morning newspaper in his hand. It pained him to see his niece working as a maid but he was helpless. He couldn't raise his voice against his wife who dominated him and the house.
Lifting her head, sonakshi smiled at him. " I'll get you some water and tea."

He patted her head lovingly , silently hoped that she'd forgive him for his helplessness and prayed that some day she'd get a loving husband and home.

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Sitting in the college canteen, sonakshi held her head in both her hands as she stared down at the book. Why was math so complicated? Later in the day she was supposed to submit her assignment and she had no clue as to how she'd do it.
Gulping down another glass of water she chewed on her pen and scratched her head attempting to solve the problem that was frustrating her. She went through her book and her notes hoping they would help but sadly they didn't. Annoyed with herself, she felt she shouldn't have decided to graduate in commerce. Arts was her passion and she should have pursued it. But then if she desired to earn well in the future, she had to take up something that was more economically viable.
Dropping her pen in irritation she lifted her head to find any classmate who could help her out.
Her eyes scanned the canteen, God there was nobody from her class. Shaking her head she casually looked to her left and her gaze froze on dev. He was talking to someone on his cellphone. She immediately lowered her gaze. Then from the corner of her eye, tried to look at him. Maybe he didn't notice her. Biting her lower lip she thought of approaching him. He was her senior and probably could help her out. He seemed to be a really nice guy, even on the first day of college he'd himself come to her rescue. He was friendly and approachable...but sonakshi was shy and hesitant. After that day she hadn't seen him and now to go up to him and ask for help didn't seem right. What would he think of her, that she couldn't manage anything on her own and needed assistance for every small little thing?

What would happen if she didn't submit the assignment, her professor would be mad at her, her grades would fall? The pen in her mouth shook as her lips trembled.
Irked with herself, she was about snap her books shut when someone pulled the pen from her mouth. Instantly her head shot up.
" bad habit, sonakshi." dev peered down at her as she looked back at him with her eyes wide.
" Mr. Dixit ."
He frowned at being addressed as ' Mr. Dixit ' yes she was her junior but she was making him sound like her boss.
" you can call me dev."
" okay."

" you look disturbed. Any problem?" For a long time he had been noticing her. She'd seemed quite troubled, chewing on her pen and drowning down the whole mineral water bottle. He'd wished to ask her what was bothering her but then he'd stopped himself. Didn't wish to come across as imposing and interfering. However he couldn't restrain himself for long. He didn't know why but her worried face worried him.
sonakshi slowly moved her eyes down to her books.
" I am unable to solve these math problems. I don't want to stand outside the class for not completing the assignment."
dev tilted his head slightly, God she was so innocent and ...adorable. She was no longer in a school, no professor would punish her like that.
dev squinted his eyes to read what was eating her up.
" oh trigonometry, its simple." And the next second he sat down close to her and pulled the book and pen from her hands. sonakshi would have jumped in surprise but didn't because he sat on her dupatta.
" look sonakshi, first you multiply this and then you divide it by..." Math never frightened him instead it excited him. He enjoyed solving such numericals. His closeness was nerve wrecking, sonakshi just couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. All the time she was only trying to pull her dupatta from underneath him.
" see, isn't it so easy?" dev suddenly turned to face her. His nose brushed with hers and once again she was startled.

Their gazes locked. He noticed the wariness in her doe eyes, how her tongue slowly came out to lick her tender lips and how she swallowed hard. It was all so...mesmerizing.
Somehow she couldn't look into his intense eyes for long so she slowly lowered her lashes.
His eyes followed her gaze and he saw her clutching on to her dupatta that was beneath him.
" sorry " dev murmured and got up to sit on the opposite bench.
sonakshi only wanted some distance, she didn't wish him to sit on the other side. She thought of stopping him but she had already embarrassed him by her apprehension.
Clearing his throat, dev continued as though nothing had happened.
" so sonakshi what was I saying if you multiply this.." sonakshi smiled to herself, he was so sweet and understanding.
Leaning forward now sonakshi fully concentrated on what he was explaining. She realized that the methods used by him for solving the numericals were so simple.
" dev, let me try out on my own."
dev nodded and pushed the book toward her.
A canteen boy was passing by. dev stopped him and ordered two black coffees. sonakshi who was looking down in her book stilled at the mention of black coffee. She didn't like it one bit. She parted her lips to tell him that she wasn't fond of black coffee but once again stopped. It would sound rude.
Shaking her head slightly she diverted her mind to the numerical that she was solving. Having bitter coffee wasn't such a big issue.
For reasons unknown to dev, he just couldn't take his eyes off her. He saw how her face creased in concentration and she tucked a lose tendril behind her ear then twirled her earring with her fingers while her other hand worked on the numerical. A tiny smile tugged at the corners of her lips when she solved the problem then excitedly moved to the next numerical. The lines of worry on her forehead eased out and she looked up at him .
" you've made these problems so easy for me. Thank you so much."
" my pleasure " he was more than glad to see her relaxed.
She continued to work on her assignment and he silently observed how she bit her lower lip and knitted her brows together to think hard. Then again played with her earring that swayed, felt and kissed her cheek. He was now envious of the earring that was so close to her and touched her intimately.
His thoughts that were running on an unknown wayward path were interrupted when the canteen boy got them coffees.
sonakshi glanced at the steaming cup and then at dev. It was an extremely hot day, how could anybody have something so hot? Nevertheless she bit the inside of her cheek as she dragged the cup to herself.
dev took a slow and long sip.
" so how's it going?"
" smooth." Though she was about to say hot as the beverage literally burnt the tip of her tongue. It tasted equally bad, it was too strong and bitter.
Minutes passed away and dev found her silently staring at the cup.
" sonakshi, your coffee is getting cold." sonakshi nodded her head and reluctantly took another sip. The bitterness twisted her face and dev realised his mistake. He took the cup from her hands, surprising her once again.
" one cold coffee." He told the canteen boy then peered at sonakshi.
" don't do something that you don't wish to. I have black coffee because it keeps me energized and alert."

For the first time someone cared about her preference...it amazed her.

" do you stay in college?" dev asked,Initiating a conversation for the second time.
sonakshi shook her head. " no, not in college but I stay nearby."
dev nodded and replied though he wasn't asked,"well I'm a hosteler... My family is in Kolkata." This time sonakshi nodded and when the boy came with the cold coffee she opened her purse to pay but dev stopped her
" please sonakshi let it be.. I insist."
" you've already helped me so much at least let me pay for this. As it is I'm feeling sorry for wasting one coffee "
" you didn't wish to have black coffee so you didn't.. simple. But don't ever feel sorry for what you desire and that includes a 10 Rs beverage. It's your life and lead it the way you wish to and not the way others expect you to. And I ordered all this so I'll pay...that's final."
sonakshi agreed and smiled at him.

sonakshi pondered over his words and quietly drank her coffee. When she glanced at him she saw him grinning at her. She shot him a confused look, he had an endearing smile but smiling without a reason appeared weird. Reading the confusion in her mind, he asked for a tissue paper. The boy who was cleaning the floor fetched dev some tissue papers. Suppressing his smile, dev passed sonakshi a tissue.
" wipe off your nose." To dev she looked really funny and cute with that spot of coffee on her nose, whereas sonakshi mentally kicked herself for making a fool of herself as she wiped her nose
The bell rang and sonakshi thanked her stars, today she had embarrassed both him and herself a lot. Gathering her books she stood up to leave.
" I need to attend my class and thank you once again."

She had barely taken a step forward when her foot slipped on the wet floor. She squeezed her eyes shut expecting herself to land flat on the floor but she didn't as dev wrapped his arms around her waist and prevented her from tripping.
sonakshi slowly opened her eyes and found dev holding her. He was turning out to be her guardian angel.
dev smiled down at her. " scared to fall?"

She held his gaze and shook her head. " No. Scared to get hurt."

dev straightened her. " I won't let you fall and get hurt. Ever. Trust me."

They both had no idea how hollow his words were because when she fell for him and trusted him with her heart , he broke it and hurt her like nobody ever did.

Thanks for reading

Rose