IshRa OS: An old knot (June 28)

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

Some days inspiration is really hard to come by, while on others, it just floats in. Today seemed to be one of those days when a scene started to play out in my mind, and ended so beautifully that it would have been a mistake to not capture it in words.

It's a simple moment from IshRaRuDiHu's life as it currently is. Nothing more, nothing less.

Writing wise, it is again a new style, where the narration point keeps switching between personalities and their perspectives, instead of being purely first person or third person.

Do let me know via comments how do you all like it.

1800+ words. Not proofread. Scroll down for the shot.

Edited by -Nidoo- - 9 years ago

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Nidoo

@-Silencia-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

THIS IS A "MEMBERS ONLY" POST
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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 9 years ago

Edited

Nids this was so beautifully written and woven into the timeline of the show. I loved how you wrote this little slice of life scene here - such a casual scene and yet so high on emotions. A mother and her children having a normal moment in the middle of their disjointed life which suddenly bursts to vibrancy and is filled with colors and laughter and beauty the moment the siblings behave the way they are supposed to as per their age, as siblings should - the father watching from afar the snapshot of a picture perfect life as a part of the scene and yet not interferring between the mother and the children, not because he is afraid to sully the moment or anything but because he gets to cherish it as a witness which in itself is a thing of beauty and joy to him - to watch all his children happy and in the arms of their mother, the woman who is the love of his life, the woman who made his house a home again and then their eyes meet and it is in this unspoken conversation their eyes communicate how this is everything they had wanted and should have had always and is nothing that they have or can even dare dream off for in the future as well.

Scarred by the past, scared of the future...unable to live in the present.

This was beautiful

Edited by QueSeraSera - 9 years ago

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-Anku-

@-Anku-

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

I have told you this various time Nids, but saying it again. HOW I LOVE when I see you post any fiction on this couple. 😳🤗 And I am so glad you're back into writing mode.

When I started reading this story, I kind of assumed you would surprise me by making it a little sad or anti climatic 😆 like the last one...but it made me all warm and happy to have it end with such a beautiful moment.

What I love about your stories and specifically this one here is that you incorporated both their point of views in the story once again, not leaving one of them to guess and assume...

It's sad and happy at the same time.. They're in a room together but aren't together literally enough ..As they themselves say, they love each other but just not enough to build a life on. They have so much to sort and clarify yet, so many bridges to build again...and that hesitance shows. So does the pain and longing when they don't want this time to end in another few days. But they're bound together, they are a family and that even they can't deny...

Which is then beautifully conveyed when Adi comes in the room to get a head massage.. which is such a routine thing to do in a normal house but is so special when one reads it here because that boy has lost such chances to be with his mother. With Ruhi hesitantly coming in and unknowingly forgetting everything and becoming a part of the fun and frolic was so natural again because Ruhi is like that. She's angry but she isn't negative. Her heart melts as soon as something heartfelt happens. And that beautiful moment between the mother and the two kids, then witnessed by Raman and clicked and cherished 😭 bought tears to my eyes. Because it felt nice to have him restore this beautiful moment, so he could have it with him even if Ishita wasn't around again and it also hurt to know that he wouldn't yet join that moment even though it was his right to and his place to be. It was beautiful and heartbreaking both at once...because it was incomplete, yet kind of partly felt complete too...

I have to mention the creativity you incorporate in every one of your stories. Be it this one with the No man's land or the previous ones where you used a different style of writing.

Edited by -Anku- - 9 years ago

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rutu83

@rutu83

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Oh so good :claps:
Beautifully imagined and written- works like these are the reason I can't fully quit YHM

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Zoyamalik2005

@Zoyamalik2005

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

Nidooo!!

How is it that whenever you write, the scene just plays out right in front of my eyes.

Seriously, it was just hopefully melancholy, and heartbreaking, true to your reputation.

Once again, amazingly written.

This family could truly be this beautiful.

Please keep writing, so I can keep reading😳

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MG_Inactive

@MG_Inactive

Dazzler

Posted: 9 years ago

Beautiful and I am really glad that you took up such a scene to write an OS on.From the time I have seen yesterday's segments, I desperately wanted someone to write something about it. Loved the way you ended the story.

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-K.13-

@-K.13-

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

Awe this was just beautiful, Nids! So fleeting her ever-lasting! Like Zoya said, I could imagine all this directly playing out & it was beautiful!

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Divya5377

@Divya5377

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

So beautifully written..I wish they show something like this..instead of showing some crap drama

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gargpoo

@gargpoo

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#10

This is simply superb..i can c every scene with each line like zoya n krishy said..
I jst love ur style of writing..
This made me crave for these types of scenes on screen...
Loved loved it..!!